Give me permission to throw out all my clothes-update - YouLookFab Forum

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Give me permission to throw out all my clothes-update

Prudence

Long story short: I stopped upkeep on my clothes about 3-4 years ago. I was expecting to get pregnant, and well, it took longer than planned. After that I knew we would be buying a house to make room for the new baby and we were saving for a down-payment. So I stopped buying clothes. I didn't want to buy something that wouldn't fit once I got pregnant, and I didn't want to spend money that should be saved to get us a better house. Jump to now, the baby is 6-months old and we moved into the house last month. Yay.

My closet is a mess. I'm wearing the small handful of clothes that fit me right now that were too essential to put in storage while we were moving. Some of it is still maternity. Most of it is several years old.

I'm dealing surprisingly well with a much smaller wardrobe than I ever thought I could do. Do I embrace the new minimalist lifestyle?

The rest of my clothe are (1) too small, (2) didn't fit that well to begin with, or (3) old and worn out. I need someone to give me permission to throw them all out and start over.

P.S. How do you start over?
**********
Update:
First, thank you everyone for the encouragement and wisdom. Here is what I did. I went through my boxed up wardrobe, and anything that didn't fit and wasn't a high-quality piece went in the donate box. That left me with one reasonable box of really nice stuff to store just in case ( just in case I spontaneously drop a dress size).
Next I went shopping. I put in an order online at my favorite store (Banana Republic) for basically a work capsule. Everything matches *and* fits with existing stuff I own. Then I took a trip to the mall. I brought my mother to help with they baby and bought a few dresses (washable) and a nice work shirt.
I'm not completely done. I still need to replace some of my around the house clothes that are literally in shreds, but dressing for work is so much easier now.
The best part is I feel so much better! I feel like my old self again. I feel like I look great. No more shabby "just getting by for now".
Seriously, thank you!

Dressing

21 replies

Latest reply was from SarahTheWhite

Anonymous

First throw out all the worn out stuff. Then the ill-fitting stuff I would reassess. My body changed a lot after my two pregnancies and different ways each time. Anything that makes me feel meh I would get rid of too.

Then, I would decide on my core look and build a small capsule around that. For example, I like jeans, tees, and Oxford shirts, so I made sure to find a couple of each that I liked and then slowly added until I had a wardrobe I was happy with.

Liz

Veteran

Permission Granted! In fact, I'll come over and help!

I'd start over by buying a very small capsule for your major activity area (e.g., M-F work, or M-F mom wear). Do a search on Angie's blog entries to pull up capsule examples.

Whether you want to stick with a small capsule or decide to get more items, that will at least get you started.

AviaMariah

Veteran

I say start over with a small capsule that is comfortable and fits your current body really well. Your body might continue to change over the next 6 months or so, especially if you're breastfeeding. So keep that in mind and don't buy too much at once. Definitely throw out the worn out stuff. Congratulations! Body changes from pregnancy can make wardrobe management crazy!

Prudence

I needed to hear this from others. I was afraid my feelings were too drastic.

Yes, there are a few things that are worth saving in hopes that I fit them after I stop nursing. I expected my waist to take time to recover, but I was caught off-guard about the clothes that don't fit in the bust because I'm nursing.

I agree to start back slowly. Maybe a whole outfit made up of things that can be worn with things I already own?

I think it will feel fresh. Like a hair cut.

Jeweled

Veteran

Prudence, you deserve the wardrobe you've been so patiently waiting for.

I do agree that your existing clothes need to go as soon as you get something new to wear.

I agree with AviaMariah about starting with a small capsule.

Here's a super-easy way to get started with your new wardrobe, with a capsule of 12 garments.

It's an easy to follow strategy with examples, from Imogen Lamport (her post is short, but it spans across 4 pages on her blog):

http://www.insideoutstyleblog......rson-big-w...

http://www.insideoutstyleblog......rson-big-w...

http://www.insideoutstyleblog......rson-big-w...

http://www.insideoutstyleblog......rson-big-w...

I can't wait to see your new clothes, Prudence!

unfrumped

Veteran

Yes, but make a plan based on what you need for your lifestyle.
Spend a few days doodling on paper as to what your ideal items would be, in tems of tops, bottoms. Favorite shapes and colors.
I like intomind (I think that's the one) with its list of a dozen or so "silhouettes" . Summer is harder also, so you might come up with a capsule that is mostly for hot weather, so agree, stay small and cohesive.
Things like, a pair of jeans that fits you right now, same for shorts, or slouchy joggers, or a couple of breezy dresses if that's more your thing. And whatever fits your nursing needs. Which of these types of things are most likely to make you feel fab in your current situation.

Deborah

Veteran

Hi Prudence:) Sounds exciting, and embracing a more minimal wardrobe can be very liberating.

The above advice is fantastic. I agree you should move on anything that doesn't fit and/or doesn't make you happy. Are you able to put together a day wear capsule from the things you already have and then build on that?

Sal

Veteran

Congratulations on the baby and the new house!!

I found patterns and knits were great with babies, nursing and toddlers. Patterns cover any food, or breast milk marks, and knits change shape as you do.

I had a very minimalist closet for a year with each of my sons. I had a pair of jeans, a denim skirt and a couple of pairs of soft but respectable yoga/exercise pants. With a few tees or knit tops that kept me looking okay for 95% of occasions. I did a LOT of walking so exercise pants were an essential for me and I wore them most of the time. Jeans or the denim skirt and a cute tee were for meeting up with friends.

Anonymous

Congratulations on the wonderful changes in your life. Start small, and carefully. You will want mostly things that can be machine washed because you are very busy just getting the basics done. Does your DH also need to refresh his wardrobe? A clothing budget may be helpful so that you can give yourself permission to buy or save up for something.

rachylou

Veteran

Chuck it!

Oh but save something to wear to go shopping...

SandyG

Veteran

Prudence, dress the body you have. Right now. Life never moves backwards and you are not wearing all those items, for varying reasons.

It's 'just' clothes from months or years ago, not an archival collection. Pounce on new, thrilling things that suit the new you and enjoy. Congrats on that sweet baby and new house.

Elle

Veteran

Congratulations on the new baby! You definitely deserve some new clothes. I agree with the advice to toss all the worn out or dated clothes and to buy a small capsule of washable outfits that fit your current body. After each of my two children my body (including my bust) continued to change for about a year. So you don't want to overbuy now.

WB

Toss the old clothes! Especially the worn out ones. I also didn't buy much in the way of clothing for my pregnancy. After stretching out most of my stretchy clothing during the pregnancy, then ruining all of the necklines of my tops breastfeeding, I was also hard on my clothes with frequent washings from baby burp ups and general messiness of having a small human. Once I let go of the the ill-fitted, stained, or worn down items I was hugely relieved. It feels good to move on to clothes that fit well and look nice even if your wardrobe is minimal for a while. If you can't do it all at once, pick one item each day, week, or whatever timeline works for you and replace it with a new equivalent, then toss the old item. As you see how much better the new item looks on you compared to the old, it will be easier to move the process along.

Astrid

Veteran

Yes! Let go - you deserve decent clothing that fits. I would think up an imaginary holiday in your life: what do you need to be nicely dressed for ONE week and (slightly) varied weather? Think of it as packing your suitcase. You want those clothes to go together, be mixable, fit right and be practical. And you should be comfortable in all the outfits you can create with those pieces, you're on holiday after all... I think that would be enough clothes to get you started. Then add in more pieces that you need for changing weather over the next year (do you have four seasons?).

Anonymous

I did a complete wardrobe makeover twice in my life. There was a reason behind each wardrobe revamp. I felt very strongly that I was consolidating a major change in life. It felt completely right and I never regretted it.

Congratulations on all your recent accomplishments. Yay.

Mander

(website)

Veteran

DO IT! Then come over and help me finally pull the trigger and toss a few things that I just can't seem to let go...

You might also check out Project 333 (33 items for 3 months) for inspiration. It's amazing what people have managed to do with a small wardrobe. For me the full challenge was a bit mentally taxing but just looking at how other people have successfully limited their choices while still having a fairly varied wardrobe was a good motivation to ditch some things that I never wore.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Are you familiar with the Vivienne Files? She does lots of wardrobe building exercises... 333, 4x4, starting from scratch, whatever's clean, other packing ideas, etc. One of her packing ones is based on 13 articles, and she provides a template to help get it going. Here's a link to one of them, I like this one as she explains how patterns should all go into one "area", which makes sense.
http://www.theviviennefiles.co.....black.html She also provides the template somewhere that you can print and play with yourself, if you want.

I'd caution you to go too hog wild on replacing things, if you are still nursing. Your body is still probably changing, and will change when you're done. Weight melted off me in that post baby year, between nursing and getting walking etc a lot with them. Then I wanted to make sure it stayed off, once I was back to work and not nursing - real life. So thinking of it as a packing exercise is a great way to get some new things in a controlled way. But yes, get rid of stuff that is dragging you down!

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

First of all, congratulations on the baby and the house! I guess you've been too busy and excited lately! Yay to that!!!

As for your wardrobe, I think a minimalistic wardrobe works wonderfully well when something like this happens. While you MUST throw away everything old, ill-fitting and outdated, it's a good thing that you've gotten by with few clothes these past months. That's a great start.

In my opinion, you should go shopping and see what you are drawn to. If your sense of style hasn't changed much, it won't be too difficult to start creating new looks. A capsule based on your activities would be best, and choose colors and styles that best represent you. I think you should start with buying basics that fit your current body and lifestyle - jeans, tees, tops, pants and skirt/dress that are classics. From there, you can add a piece at a time to build upon your wardrobe and create new looks. Just make sure that your basics are good quality.

I hope that helps.

Windchime

Veteran

I agree that you should first let go of items that are worn out; then take a hard look at things that no longer fit.

When I found YLF almost two years ago, much of my wardrobe needed updating. I didn't feel right getting rid of most of it all at once-- that's just not my style--but as I slowly added new items that I loved, I was able to let go of other items that paled in comparison to the new items. Two years later, I think I've turned over about 80% of my wardrobe. (No way do I plan to continue turning it over at this rate because now I have much better items and will replace/add only as needed.)

Prudence

Thank you, everyone!

SarahTheWhite

Veteran

I totally missed this the first time around, but I am just chiming in to add to the congrats on new baby, new house, and now a new wardrobe! And I so admire your ability to stay strong and wait for the right timing on new clothing. I have always gone the instant gratification route and my finances have suffered because of it. So all around great job!