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Getting out of a style rut: any ideas?

MsLuna

Veteran

It's been a while!

All year, I've been struggling to work on my personal style. Though there have been a few near-successes, I still could not pin down styles in happy with. I would wear a look for a few days, only to feel less than fabulous a month later. It's frustrating and I wish I wasn't so unmotivated!

I'm thinking that I feel this way due to a number of things:
- personal transitions (very slow)
- stress
- creativity block
- body dysmorphia
- clothes just don't fit
- forced wardrobe changes (wearing exclusively, specific flat shoes)
- increased need for comfort (but I don't like sloppy)
- 2014/2015 style is too casual for me. Every trend just makes me look like frump! I need polish yet I need the romance and hard edge too.

I've spent way too much money on failed clothes and shoes and I really need to stop and seriously assess my situation (I'll deal with the life changes for now). I'm going to stop shopping and just try to figure out why I'm creatively blocked!

So how do you deal with style ruts? Any ideas?

General

20 replies

Latest reply was from Gigi

catgirl

Veteran

This is why I started my 5 silhouette challenge to myself. Runcarla also started a thread on how to shake things up for yourself - I'll see if I can find it.

http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....ou-clothes

MsLuna

Veteran

Thanks Una! Can you link me to the 5 Silhouette challenge as well?

catgirl

Veteran

http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....e-rotation

MsLuna

Veteran

Una I read the premise of your thread. Wow! 5 silhouettes is pretty good and it's definitely a great way to shake things up! I could only think of 2.5 silhouettes working for me at the moment. So it's amazing you can think of 5! I'm looking forward to how you take up this challenge!

Neel

Veteran

I was going to suggest taking part in Una's challenge! But she has said that already ^_^ .... I think it could be a great way to come out of your style rut and force yourself to get more creative with your existing wardrobe. Who knows .. You might even find a new silhouette for yourself

catgirl

Veteran

It doesn't gave to be 5 silhouettes! The idea is just to deliberately mix it up more - use what works for you...

MsLuna

Veteran

Neel: I wish I could participate but I pared down my clothes significantly I really hated everything I had so I donated a huge bulk of my wardrobe

I probably only have 20 pieces to work with. All skinnies, oversized sweaters and button down tops. Frumpmania

As much as I love my Chelseas (and wear them daily), I still feel very masculine in them.

But I do like the idea. My biggest struggle is making me feel like an edgy polished lady in flat footwear.

MsLuna

Veteran

<removed - too similar to previous post>

MsLuna

Veteran

Sorry - triple post. I just thought of something. Because I only have 20 pieces in my wardrobe and one silhouette (that I don't really love.. The other .5 is not realistic based on weather/lifestyle/aesthetic), maybe I can shift focus elsewhere?

I wonder if there's a way to get out of a rut with accessories? My taste in accessories (handbags, jewelry, scarves, etc) are very defined and I'm very confident about. Shoes are the only issues due to foot problems. None of my jewelry purchases have been regrets (though I don't purchase a lot). I wonder if it's a good idea to start with that?

Lucy

Veteran

I think that's a great idea. Generally the best way out of a problem is to start with the easiest/most accessible bit. So starting in your comfort zone is a really good idea. Maybe start by thinking of five accessory updates. And this might help get the mojo back for clothes more widely!

unfrumped

Veteran

Also see the posts by the foot surgery gals. Kind of trying to ignore the footwear part for awhile and concentrate on other areas. Float above it!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

unfrumped has a great idea there. Peri is one with foot/ shoe issues; she can only wear specific kinds, very limited. And Carter just had foot surgery and is basically limited to a pair of big clomping running shoes for 6 months!

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I think I was inspired by Una's 5 challenge too and today am trying a pair of bootcuts I haven't worn in years. They feel odd after so long, and a bit bottom heavy or something, but I'm going to give them a fair try with my boots today since it's so cold.

I don't really have that many silhouettes that I wear since I don't do skirts/dresses/leggings. In F/W I do skinny jeans, BFs, ankle pants and bootcuts - so that would be *my* 5.

Yesterday was skinny jeans, today bootcuts, tomorrow maybe BFs.

I could also change out the type of top but my choices are pretty streamlined - button down, sweater (v-neck or crew might mean 2 choices), long sleeved tee - or a short sleeve tee with a cardi or jacket over it. I do have one sweatshirt I like but I wore that yesterday already. I guess I could put "pattern" into the mix too since I don't wear my patterns nearly as often as solids.

tulle

Veteran

KatieKat, I don't know your age, but I recognize the signs of a stage I went through in my late 40s & early 50s, when my body went haywire and clothes went from being fun things that always fit, to unreliable items I had to strategize about. Much of the fun went out of shopping, as I came to terms with being an aging gamine trying to salvage some of her attractiveness without losing too much of her dignity. If this is your situation, I can tell you: it gets better eventually! Hormonal storms come to an end, and there is calm on the other side, but it takes time. Be kind and patient with yourself as you sort things out. Here is what worked best for me in the process: 1. Buying pants in multiple sizes, so there's always one that fits; 2. Looking for fashionable silhouettes that don't hug the middle (much easier this season than earlier.) 3. Indulging in delicious and flattering color around the face--whether in a scarf, a haircolor, a beautiful top, or a great new lipstick; 4. Buying better quality clothing (I finally had to admit that I needed clothes with some structure and better cut, and it became sort of a game to find the best possible quality where it really matters--trousers, jackets, dresses, etc.--for a price I could afford, by shopping in consignment shops, sales, and online discount sites. All of this has taken longer than shopping did in my 20s & 30s, but it's worth it. If you are not middle-aged, but just in a temporary fashion rut, things should go more easily for you! Starting with your shoes, for example, may I suggest going somewhere with a huge selection, and trying on pair after pair until you find shoes or boots that are both stylish and super-comfortable? (There's always one out there.) Then concentrate on an amazing jacket--leather, maybe?--that makes you feel cool because the texture, color, & cut are perfect for you. Then add a pair of premium jeans or pants that don't tug at your waist, and make your legs look long. Finish with a top or scarf in the color (it needn't be bright) that makes your complexion & eyes glow. It sounds simple, but having just one great outfit that dependably makes you look and feel attractive can be the first step out of a rut. Good luck!

Truecolors

(website)

I LOVE Tulle's thoughtful and practical suggestions for you, KatieKat.

My thought was something I include in my style workshops. I ask each of the participants to create a "Style Vision Board." You can either use the old-fashioned fashion magazines, or create one in Pinterest. Taking the time to really identify the fashion styles you're attracted to is a fun and helpful activity. However, I will tell you, as all the women on YouLookFab know, just because you're attracted to a style doesn't mean it looks good on you.

So, here's my second suggestion. Take a day to go to a big department store and try on different silhouettes and see what looks best on your body shape. Also, try on different colors (ones you might think could never work!) and see which colors make your skin look radiant (although store lighting is not always the truest measure...). You may find surprising silhouettes and colors that you never before considered.

Most importantly, clothes are a way of expressing who you are, and it's worth the time and effort (have you thought of finding a local stylist in you area for a couple hours to advise you?) to wear clothes that connect you with your feminine energy.

All the best.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Ms. KK has specific foot issues -- arthritis limits her choice of footwear considerably. And she lives in Canada where it is very difficult to find a lot of options to try in one place -- even in her big metropolitan city, the choices are more limited than they would be in a similar sized US city, by far. Particularly for speciality items.

Ms. KK --- you were doing so very well for a while there, so I am a bit confused about the recent feeling of style slump? I thought you had figured out some silhouettes that worked great for you, and were resolved about what to do next? And also, it is boot season, so your choice of footwear should be a bit more congenial to you, no?

I think it's a great idea to stop shopping for a while so you can reassess. And we are here to help if you can say more.... So sorry it is a rough time. Sometimes it's about the clothes...and sometimes, it's not about the clothes, you know?

Elly

Veteran

Katie, I don't want to get all invasive, but this really seems like there is a lot going on on a personal/self-esteem and self-conceptualization wise. I think it sounds good to take a break from shopping especially if you are in a cycle of buying and then purging because of bad feelings. I would dress in your favorite outfits, post photos, wear them and maybe do a little journaling or reflection about what you like and what makes you feel good. Based on your glam/mod/rocker/romantic style descriptors there are a ton of options, even with your body type and shoe needs. I think the key is to switch to more feminine elements in clothing and let your shoes express your mod or rocker side (flat beatle booties, moto boots). Femining up hair and wearing makeup are two additional great ways to express the glam/romantic/or bombshell side, as is wearing skirts (which look great with tough boots and tights).

viva

Veteran

Oh, I can so relate to your feelings right now! I'm with you, sister. Really.

All I can tell you is what is helping me.

1. Just stop shopping for now. Take a break. It's helping me. The cycle of buy/return was exhausting me and making me feel terrible.

2. Try some kind of fashion challenge. Play with a different accessory each day; wear the same accessory five different ways; wear an outfit for each style persona; whatever. I am doing the 5 silhouette and it's helping me focus on my closet and not the Internet, and it's really helping me be creative and focus on things that work for me. I'm just ignoring what's not working and not making any major wardobe plans right now.

3. Take pictures and post. Positive feedback will help with the dysmorphia. We can be your mirror.

4. Eat healthy and if you can, movea few times a day. Even just your arms and your neck. That's just generally good for your soul.

Thinking of you.
xxxxx

Anonymous

Into Mind is a wonderful website that delves into developing your own special style. I follow her techniques and they helped me tremendously.

The first thing I did was identify three very specific silhouettes (or proportions) that work for me and that I feel good in. I collected pictures from the internet at first. Then I got very specific and literally wrote about each of the individual silhouettes. I wrote about what cuts, fabrics, proportions I liked and why.

As my descriptions became more and more detailed, I realized how many things that I wanted to buy would probably fall by the wayside once the excitement wore off. This technique has worked really well for me.

For me, the key was actually writing about it. Once the description was on paper, it was really hard for me to shop for things that just didn't match my criteria for success/comfort/happiness. Good luck.

Gigi

Veteran

I agree with the commenters who said that it might be good to take a break for now. When I have a lot of stuff going on, it seems absolutely impossible to create an outfit I'm happy with. Once the immediate stressor is gone, I soon return to normal.

After that, I like True Colors' idea of making a mood board of everything that appeals to you. I did the one from Into Mind: http://into-mind.com/2014/02/28/mood-boards-2-0/. I like it because it concentrates on several different elements of style, so you have lots of ways to approach things. She says to do it with paper and magazines, but I just used my computer. I don't think it's a big deal. I had several surprises with my mood board, including finding silhouettes I didn't realize I was so attracted to.