For my upcoming gala/not (meaning, some variations in dress code are well-tolerated), I have had some fashion philosophic musings on the nature of dressiness and elegance, and whether it's what you think it will be, or whether you can get there from an unexpected angle. I thank those of you who commented on my palazzo pants post, because that was quite helpful!

I have had the following experiences:

Went shopping in our metropolis where brick and mortar is pretty limited--Dillard's is our big dept store ! Some chains like WHBM, some boutiques. Despite my ongoing chanting of the WNTW mantra, "it's not your body, it's the clothes" I was pretty discouraged. Not much of what I think is the elegant, restrained party look for 50+ crowd. Also spent way too much time on-line and again, anything that remotely looked wearable was not in my size,but I can see that if I cruised the offerings more regularly, something would turn up because there are some brands that offer silk, velvet and other lovely fabrics, and possibly good fits, but not for this week. (Oooh, though--Kate Spade bronze pleated silk skirt at Nordie--but if I loved it, should I spend $300+ for a special-event skirt-still need top or jacket).

I did buy something that I considered wearing to the event--a dress and jacket ensemble in which the material is a sort of irridescent taupe and the jacket has ruffled, funnel-or standup V collar that is flattering, though not "sexy". I sort of latched onto this one because the jacket fits well and isn't one of those too-rustle-y taffeta jacket-blouses that look like they are wearing me and has too-open a neckline. I can't wear the slip dress that comes with it! But I think that can be cut down into matching tank. I haven't found a single dressy skirt right now that works--fitted are too, er, fitted and others are all are too short--except I have $20 TJMaxx crystal pleated black poly skirt that gives a good, flippy look with the jacket--just wish I could find the same thing in a more luxury fabrication.

However, when I put it on, I think a) it would be acceptable because hey, it's just a party and b) it's a bit sedate and wedding-event like, or maybe just not as sophisticated as I would wish for this evening event. So definitely gonna keep it as it can be worn with the skirt I have, or dressy pants, or the skirt I may find one day, and being long-sleeved, is a major hole-filler, for winter wedding or party event.

But here's where Dorothy's ruby slippers come in. In my closet, as yet unworn, I have a simple "Calvin Klein" sheath dress, black, 3/4 sleeves, semi-boat neck ( I say " " because it's one of the CK dresses you find at Ross and TJ all the time). But for me, it was a huge find because I can almost never wear sheath-looking dresses, but this one has a side ruche or pleat that works and who can ever find 3/4 sleeves?

I didn't focus on it before because I was trying to wear a dressier fabrication. This dress is a poly-rayon blend. However, it's finely woven, matte black and so perhaps is mercurial--you can't really "see" it! You might think it was ponte, or wool, or who knows. And the fit and style are definitely grown-up lady LBD, for me. Also, was actually looking for not-black, But, the wide neckline is what made me buy it in the first place, since it opens it up to be less black by the face.

So, now, honestly, I think the dress I already have would be the most appropriate!

Here are queries:

--Shoes!
Again, I expect some compromise may be in order and Dorothy here may already have the best option. I have AK black patent pumps with 2 3/4 " heel but the catch is, the heels are chunky--1 1/4 " wide column of a heel. So here's the pro and con--con is, they're not delicate, "evening" pumps. But, I nabbed them in the first place just a few months ago because these are the highest heels I've ever had and ever likely to be able to walk in--it showed me the value of heel height in a dressy look because they really do give that "high heel" leg line. Plus, I can walk and stand perfectly, confidently in them for hours. If I try to get a more delicate heel, my experience has been dismal--I can barely walk in kitten heels-- and lower heels in my size 8.5-9 feet may not look as classy, and so it ends up frumpy or awkward after all.

Jewelry!
Do you believe that "costume jewelry is best avoided" for dressy events--wear the real thing or nothing? That seems harsh. I have a strand of small pearls from my mother but they're just not right--too small and sedate. I have some costume jewelry that I think is restrained and just the right fit for the dress, with elements of restrained tiny sparkle and black and pewter, but no one will think it's "real". Is that a faux (!) pas? Do I care?

Clutch!
Okay, this is for real! I don't have one I would like for this outfit, so I can buy one! Silvery or black/silver would work, but I have sparkle at ears and neck--don't want to be too gaudy. So if I could find the right fabrication again, I might like something with a bit of burgundy or a toned-down fuschia or something, maybe combined with black, to add a bit of color. But, it's easy for colored fabric or "satin" type clutches to look too cheap or trendy.
I may be able to find something on-line and do fast delivery.

I think it's one of those things--can I trust my own "eyes" as to the whole package--and I consider my eyes not fully trustworthy, but much more educated over the past year. That you could say, wear this and this and this--but it still all depends so much on the actual iterations and interpretations of the dress, the shoe, the jewelry.

And part of my experience is, where are the elegant clothes? There's a lot of date-night sequin and sparkle, but not what I'm looking for. "Cocktail" length dresses are 4" above the knee! Skirts are too short--I could hem one up but can't lengthen what's out there! I do fear they are available at high price points!

Any input is welcome. Anyone having the same experience? Have I just simply re-discovered why a LBD is what it is--when I thought I needed a "dressier" LBD.

Thanks just for reading!