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Funereal colour. Blah.

Olive Green

Veteran

I love colour and light and movement. My wardrobe finally reflects that, again. Pink and orange and saffron.
Unfortunately, as an old couple in all meanings of the word, we are attending a lot of funerals or celebrations. The dress code is all over the place, if even stated. I have another coming up this weekend.
I old-ed and fat-ed out of ALL my work or formal clothing from pre-pandemic life. You know, the waist goes, the feet wont even look at heels, and I hate black, apparently.
I need a capsule that covers winter and summer attendance of strict formal funerals to “please wear colour” outdoor, hippie songwriter celebrations. Items that will hold up for a few years, and address all the surprise occasions, with appropriate fixin’s.
So, navy it is. I ordered this Airism dress from Uniqlo for the weekend event…

https://www.uniqlo.com/us/en/p.....012-000/00

I figure this can go under a topper for indoor, can manage the 90 degree heat of outdoor venues, and hope the fabric shows up (on Friday) as substantial enough to layer over warm tissue turtleneck and tights for colder seasons.
I have black flat lace up shoes for formal. And dressy red sandals, for the colourful celebrations.
Does anyone have a recommendation for a topper that is not a blazer, has a bit of swoosh or volume, and is navy or a print that works with it?
Sleeves or 3/4 sleeves ideal. Short or longer?
How do you guys manage these occasions?

Dressing

19 replies

Latest reply was from Olive Green

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I really like that dress! (Kinda wish it came in more colors like perhaps a jewel tone) Crossing fingers for you that it works as you intend.

My first thoughts for toppers were:

- a lightweight linen jacket like the one I got from BR a couple of years ago
- a lightweight patterned or textured bomber, maybe even lace?
- some kind of lightweight capelet/jacket like the one Zara has been doing for years

Banana Republic

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17

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Cape With Slits

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Floral Embroidered Bomber Jacket

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Indigoprint

Veteran

Flax, Cutloose and Fenini all have nice summer weight swooshy toppers.
I also have a silk kimono from Tianello that comes in handy.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

My thoughts were similar to Janet and Indigoprint.

Bombers, fluid soft blazers, drapey cardigans, dusters, kimono jackets.

Joy

Veteran

I go with black or navy and miss a funeral navy skirt suit . EF black dresses have served me well. I have along one in wool that covers my knees and a sleeveless one that is knee length and has an EF lined silk black quilted jacket. For most other times. Footwear is flat for burial ceremonies in cemeteries, so no heels to sink into turf. I have tall boots , booties and ballet flats and various thicknesses of tights. I also have a black wool pleated skirt. I have a dark navy puffer coat with matching accessories. And a black all weather coat with a hood that has been on numerous trips. I need a new dark umbrella for rainy days out on breezy hillsides. For the celebrations of life...few...these days. I have plenty of color.
Most funerals recently have required a mask. I usually wear a black one and pack a rosary. Travel to funerals has been restricted but most are taped and shown on TV. First come the funerals for parents of friends, then for spouses and siblings and then the friends themselves. Then there are second marriages. Have a dress ready. I often update it with new footwear and accessories. They are easier to shop for. You are wise to plan ahead for all weather.

Bijou

Veteran

Olive Green that is a great dress. I also think a pashmina wrap is a good topper if you would prefer to not wear a jacket. a cardigan would also be a good choice.

This is what I wore to a funeral recently, it seemed sombre enough.

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Joy

Veteran

I just saw Janet's pictures. I like the cobalt with black but the tee and trousers seem too casual to me. Maybe it is just my age. To address sleeve length, either 3/4 length or long will do for me. You do not want bare arms in a church. A light weight summer topper is a good addition for this capsule. Take tissues or a hanky. And maybe writing materials or cards to write down contact information.

BlueJay

Veteran

That's a beautiful dress, Olive Green! I would order it for myself, but in a brighter colour as I am sorted for navy, black and white! Yes to what Janet, Indigoprint and Angie said about toppers. I've worn this to a celebration of life and felt comfortable and appropriately dressed. You could wear a shirt unbuttoned too, although I would go for a shorter hem with the dress to make it look more "dressed up" rather than casual.

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Drape Midi Skirt

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Jenni NZ

Veteran

What a beautiful dress! I would consider kimono type toppers?
My go-to funeral dress is a black and white print, I do wear it for other events too. It is a transitional weather dress which suits our dominant climate.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

That is a great dress and if I can find it in Canada I might just see if I can pick it up myself! And in navy, I'd wear it for "regular" life, too!

Ok. For your purposes, though, here are a couple of ideas. If it is a casual "celebration of life" you can denim jacket it and add a scarf that picks up the tone of your sandals or other footwear. (White, blue, olive -- any colour of "denim.")

For more formal situations, a cropped blazer. See if you can find one at consignment -- or on late season discount.

You could try a kimono. You could also layer a navy or other neutral cotton/linen/ light wool sweater over it for cooler weather, i.e. wear it as a "skirt."

Here's the type of thing I might wear with it in these varied situations, depending, of course, on the level of formality...

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Textured Double Breasted Blazer

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Banana Republic

Nave Oversized Merino Sweater

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Roberta

Veteran

I have several Nic and Zoe cardigans in white, red, and fuchsia that are light and drapey and go well over anything sleeveless. Most useful summer item in my closet. They come in prints too, and some are on sale at Nordstrom now. (It's like I have stock in them.)

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Nic + Zoe 4-Way Convertible Cardigan

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Style Fan

Veteran

That is a great dress! I have been to a few funerals and Celebration of Life recently. I wore a black pantsuit to one and a more casual outfit to another (family's request). A simple dress seems like a great addition to one's wardrobe. It covers all kinds of occasions.

LJP

Veteran

That is a very cute dress - and the price ! I’m cynical though and wonder about the quality ….I’d love it in black if it’s a good substantial knit .

I’m pre-annoyed at dress codes for ceremonial occasions - and annoyed at those who prescribe them . Telling people what to wear is so presumptuous . Anyways , back off my soap box …..

LJP

Veteran

Also - Bijou - that is one fabulous outfit . That jacket is outstanding .

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

That dress looks fantastic! I hope you'll give us a review when it arrives.

I have the cardigan that Roberta shows (just in one color, LOL!) and second that idea. With the style of that dress, I think it would work nicely, either worn open or tied in front.

I like the idea of the navy dress, because it can be brightened easily with scarves or jewelry, too.

Olive Green

Veteran

You guys are so right on. I think Joy certainly has great advice: remember the umbrella (good for sun or snow) and the hankies and a small religious token. I have a black minimalist leather tote from work that carries my and the husbands stuff, and anything I think the bereaved can use. Comfort stuff. Especially if you travel to the funeral. Which is getting harder to do for us. Mr Green is very easy to tire.
Janet, that velvet bomber is just stunning. I love velvet. The BR jacket is sold out, of course, but also a very useful piece.
Indigo, Why did I not think of Flax? I am petite but love a robe. The others are less familiar, can google them.
Angie, dusters or kimonos seem good, a cover up that changes everything. And they don’t have to be petite sized, which so limits the blazers. I have a dark denim duster that might work for some occasions. Dark denim is my only wardrobe navy at the moment. I don’t care too much about matching navies with the dress if the topper is a cover all. But you know that! ☺️
Blue Jay, your outfit is very close to what I would be wearing to an event, only with a skirt, and that skirt is on sale in small size if anyone is interested. Club Monaco.
Jenni, prints are so great in some wrap dresses I looked at, but I have a hard time with them except as accessory. Black and white covers all the bases, such a good choice.
Suz, hah, denim duster! Not cropped, but very useful. It’s an old Uniqlo Lemaire and very boxy but had it taken up to calf length. The sweater over dress look would never have occurred to me and what a great winter work around.
Roberta, that is a celebration of life outfit! Love the dress. I do have a lime green messy cardigan that would be very close to this white one.
Style Fan, right, simple dress does work that way. A black pantsuit is so versatile, also. It is dang hard to find a truly simple dress (slight rant here) as everything seems rather embellished and ready for cocktails.
Although, frankly, a Cocktail Celebration of Life would be hilarious and I would absolutely consider it for me or a friend. Laughter through tears.
LJP, Uniqlo often exceeds my quality expectations of well priced clothing, so here is hoping. Will report soonest. But yeah, quality fabric is getting difficult to find at any price point. I wish COS fit! Minimal needs quality.
Bijou, I want to be you when I grow up! That wardrobe and those shoes. Sigh.
Firecracker, yes, jewelry and shoes makes it, right? My one cardigan is a bright lime green so that would be very pretty.

Peri

Veteran

That is a great dress and looks like it would be really versatile, not only for funerals. I'm sorry that you are having so many though.

I've olded and fatted out of too much of my wardrobe also. Let us know how the dress turns out. Personally I'm wondering if the way it is cut around the middle might be the kind of forgiveness I need in my life.

kkards

Veteran

Are you willing to shop pre loved? If so look at the RealReal under the category “evening jacket”. I know it sounds odd but I picked up a fabulous navy silk beaded bomber, but there’s lots of options.

Olive Green

Veteran

Peri, I am a sucker for anything that says ‘swing’ or ‘cocoon’ these days. Do not touch the waist! ‘A-line’ is another good word. I’d rather not feel self conscious about the middle. It’s a buzz kill for sure.
Kkards, I will look, haven’t done anything but in person thrifting, and its very slim pickings in this area. Maybe that is where I can find some petite stuff. Your wardrobe is so well considered, thank you for the tip.

Olive Green

Veteran

Just got the dress and am listing as a PSA. Seriously good quality. Very low price.