Shannon, I was nodding away to myself as I read your response. So much of what you say resonated with me. The budget concerns, and the accompanying fact that so many of my clothes were "okay" because I was always just trying to do the best I could do and never imagined I could actually find FAB at that price point. The discomfort with change. The awe and slight intimidation I feel looking at the amazing women on this board who come up with such great looks that I would LOVE to copy —yet I know they wouldn't work on my body type (or with the way I actually live). The confusion about how to inject elements of that style into a look that might actually work for me personally.
I really loved Una's and Mo's and Claire's comments about the process, and have been trying to let them sink in. Like Mo and Claire, I used to think that an item had to be expensive to be "great" — but it doesn't. It just has to be great. And it does take some trial and error to figure out what will be great when you have a new body shape (whichever direction your body has taken). What worked before might not work now, but that's okay...once you figure out the proportions that do work.
It might be worth scheduling a shopping trip to a nicer end store; one you probably wouldn't be able to afford, just to try a few things on and look at quality workmanship. Then, when you head out to your regular haunts or to the consignment or thrift or vintage store, you'll know what you are looking for. You don't have to buy anything on this outing. Or maybe you WILL splurge a tiny bit on something special for yourself. But either way, you'll remind yourself of what you are aiming for. When I was a young woman I used to "shop" at Holts all the time. I almost never bought anything except maybe a lipstick that would have cost the same at any department store. But I learned what was current, I saw good workmanship (and shoddy, even at that price) and once in a very long while I found an item on sale that I bought. It's almost three decades since I've done that, and I need to do it again.
But what Mo and Claire say is so right; the item might come from a less expensive store but it can still be fantastic for you. The mantra around here is leave no retail stone unturned, and it's a good one. My best bet right now is our local consignment store. I can't depend on finding anything at all when I walk in, but when I DO find something, it's a real winner, at a price I can afford. And donating some of my own unworn or non-fitting items has made it even more affordable. Sadly, I only found out about this place AFTER I'd already made a huge closet purge, but even so, I've managed to save myself money by taking things there.
I really like Una's suggestion to try to wear everything in your closet and if it doesn't sing to you, get rid of it. Then you will be pared back to just those items that really do work for you, and you can build from there. And the idea of picking a formula that works and duplicating it is also great. This is essentially what Steph (mrs eccentric) suggests. She counsels picking just ONE outfit that makes you feel fab and trying to analyse the elements of that outfit that make it work for you. You could post pics of one you love (or have loved in the past - or maybe BOTH) and talk about them and we could all weigh in.
In fact, given your current discomfort with your body, that might actually be hugely helpful, whether you do it on the forum or privately. Look at an old beloved outfit that you no longer can wear (or think you can't wear) and consider its elements. Is it TRUE that you can't wear it (if it were in your size)? Meanwhile, what might the advantages of being a slightly larger size be? Until I lost a lot of weight I never believed there COULD be any advantages, but I've actually encountered new and frustrating fit issues at my lower weight, too, so even though the grass always seems greener, there are advantages to EVERY body size and shape when it comes to fashion. Maybe at your current weight you can wear some looks you could not successfully wear before.
You are already looking very stylish and fab, and with your looks evolving, you are only going to look better and better all the time!
