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Frustrated minimalist

stringy

Veteran

Just been doing some thinking about my style transition. I'd appreciate any thoughts or ideas you've got about this...

What I had:
a small collection of high-quality graphic tees (Threadless, etc);
4 pairs of jeans;
2 pairs of Cons;
a weird bunch of wardrobe orphans that was meant to be for dressy occasions;
a few things for very hot weather but unsuitable for work.

What I want:
a wardrobe capsule of smart casual outfits suitable for warm weather based on the MOTG formulas;
a wardrobe capsule of nice dresses with classic jackets for dressy occasions;
a wool coat and long socks for the little bit of cold weather I get.

I'm a minimalist at heart. I prefer quality to quantity and prefer to wear long-loved items with emotional meaning than new thrills. My old wardrobe left me feeling like I lacked polish, was dressing too young for my age, and I felt awkward at special events. I had no style, just some individual pieces that I liked. But it did satisfy my minimalist tendencies and I resisted trying new things because I was afraid they wouldn't work.

I'm starting to get an idea of my personal style now: I like structured pieces with a playful touch. I like things with a tough or tomboy edge to them. I like neutrals with colourful accessories. And I'm oddly drawn to shiny shoes!

What I've currently got:
the same tees and jeans and wardrobe orphans;
a new leather jacket and BF jacket that I love;
weird long-sleeve tees that cling to my belly but are baggy around my bustline;
a black 'gilet' that should be worn over long-sleeved tops, but I avoid because I hate the l-s tops;
tops that are too long for my pants/skirts;
necklaces that sit weirdly on my chest;
unflattering patent platform shoes because they've got no wedge;
a red necklace I'm too scared to wear because it's so bright against my neutrals;
my old warm woolly jackets that I don't feel stylish wearing anymore but are the only thing I've got that is warm enough for the current weather.

I'm going to have to let go of the minimalist/high-quality thing while I go through this transition, aren't I?

I just don't know what works for me yet. It frustrates me to have things in my wardrobe I don't love, but I'm going to have to experiment for a while and it's better that I don't spend too much money doing it.

Any other minimalists who've come out the other side of this problem? How did you manage? I am so open to advice and new ideas right now, which is the benefit of the transitional stage, I guess!

General

20 replies

Latest reply was from stringy

taylor

Veteran

while I am not a minimalist, I understand the neutral thing and making the most of the few pieces you do have:)

It sounds like you know where you are going and where you want to end up!! half the battle.!!

Is it possible to eliminate the items that you just don't feel fab in and start replacing those with capsule MOTG pieces say one a month or so?
For instance the ls tee's that just don't work or fit and items that fit poorly...replace with a white button down. this will give your jeans and skirts a new and fresh look and might look great with your bright jewelery:) Then start working on your dress collection.

I know that ia a small step, but one piece a month could punch things up in no time.

Sihaya

Veteran

hi Stringy - there's lots of help in this forum to help you through the transition. One thing you can do is go to a store like Nordstrom that has a good return policy (the NAS should be a perfect opportunity) if you have one in your town or find a store that will take things back within 30 days or so. Buy more than you think you need. Mix and match. Takes lots of pictures and get feedback on the forum. That way, you can always return the pieces that don't work before it's too late. As I've gotten a sense of my own style, I've learned to mix and match some pieces too. Structure jackets are perfect for that. You can change out shirts and bottoms with the same jacket and make new outfits so many different ways. As for your red necklace, match it with a bright color pair of shoes or handbag and it won't stand out by itself. Sounds like you've made great progress because you have a really good sense of what you like and don't like. That's really hard to get to.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I'm a minimalist by necessity- my closet is only so big, and I have to share it.
I'd start by doing a closet clean and get rid of the items that are clearly not working for you. That will make you feel so much better, and then you can start figuring out what you really need.

stringy

Veteran

Thanks, ladies. I'm getting better at returning the stuff I don't like (I'm in Oz, so Nordstrom is out - which is a shame, it sounds amazing from all I've heard!). I just sometimes don't realise I dislike it until it's too late though Which is probably why Sihaya is right about taking photos and posting them here more often...

That's a good idea too about doing a closet clean-out, chewy - I used to do it once a year but I guess that's just not often enough while I'm figuring things out.

Taylor, you are so right about the button-downs to replace the l-s knits. I'm a bit scared of white, because I'm very accident-prone, but they'd definitely sort out the clinging issue, wouldn't they? Hmmm...

florida

Veteran

I second the closet clean out. I just did a big one and I have such a better idea now of what I want/need, and also got some "lessons learned," like, "Hmm... this fabric didn't hold up so well..." "Don't buy any more of this or that style because it's not flattering..." "I liked the idea of this but never really wore it..." (etc., etc.)

It sounds like you are on the right track. I have to remind myself that my wardrobe is constantly evolving, and that it will take time to build it up with pieces that I love.

crwilson

Veteran

One thing that I've found helpful, too, is figuring out which (few) items of clothing I wear again and again and try to make generalizations. That might help prevent the purchasing of clothes that sound good but that I won't really wear. For example, I noticed that all the clothes that I wear regularly are comfortable and don't require ironing; even if something looks really nice, if it's uncomfortable or needs to be ironed I won't wear it. Knowing this helps me eliminate some clothes right away.

April

Veteran

Stringy, try to think of your perfect minimalist wardrobe as the ultimate goal, rather than something you'll be able to achieve right away. It takes a while to get to the Angie state where you can really do "one in, one out" and make it work. Give yourself some time! You'll get there, and we'll help.

Louise

Veteran

I could never be described as a minimalist! but I do think you should do a thorough closet sweep and get rid of all the above things as they are not making you happy. I'd then identify all your gaps and try to fill the major ones asap even if only with cheap items. Once the gaps are filled you will be much happier and can replace them for better quality pieces as and when they wear out x

Megan

*waves to Stringy* Hi from another Aussie! Where is Aus are you?

I'm about to use a mail forwarding company called Borderlinx to forward my NAS purchases (Nordies do ship internationally but it's v exxy!). Might that be an option?

I'm building a wardrobe atm too! I find tops the hardest to get.

Kookai have some GORGEOUS knits and have a decent range on sale for 50% off at the moment.

Ben Sherman (at Myer or DJ's) have some really nice striped button down shirts at the moment. A colleague of mine has a blue one and she looks fantastic in it.

Wish have some lovely coats that are not too exxy and are on sale at Myer and DJ's

Portmans have some REALLY good sales and are good for basics like tees/long sleeve tops and cardis. I was there last week and they had good long and 3/4 sleeve tops for $14.95. Portmans stuff tends to wash up pretty well too.

Colorado have some really nice knits and have really good sales too.

Maybe working out what neckline is best for you will help with basic tops?

I realise how disjointed this post is- sorry!!

stringy

Veteran

Thanks again everyone - you've made me feel a lot better about this. The middle stage I'm in is a bit awkward but I'll just have to deal with it for now. And it won't last forever!

Megan, I'm in Perth, which makes shipping costs just horrible. Plus I think I'm not very good (yet!) at knowing what's going to fit when I can't try it on. I'll have a look at Portmans and Ben Sherman and Kookai for sure, thanks for the tip! Whereabouts are you?

crwilson, you are so right about not wanting uncomfortable stuff, or things I'll have to iron - that's definitely been a bit of a trap for me so far!

I reckon my next step is to do a closet clean out and show everything I think is weird to you all for an objective assessment. I'll do the old orphans too, there might be something salvageable in there

Megan

I'm in Sydney I LOVE Kookai knits, they are so soft and lovely. They are reasonably expensive at full price but often have 50% off sales. They have nice tshirts as well as their knit tops and cardis. I've had some success at David Jones and Myer as they have lots of mid range brands.

Good plan with the closet overhaul and plenty of pics for us.

Have you decided what colours you like to wear most?

Mamapicklejuice

Veteran

Your goal wardrobe sounds like MY dream wardrobe, too!

Are you talking about the original MOTG formulas Angie blogged about...was it last year?

Dashrashi

Veteran

I'm curious--what do/did you wear to work?

Also, when you're really starting from scratch, professional help may be in order. I like Tim Gunn's A Guide to Quality, Taste, and Style (he also has a list of essential elements: http://womensfashion.suite101......l_elements ) and the Lucky Shopping Manual ( http://www.amazon.com/Lucky-Sh.....1592400361 ). If your workplace is more casual/if you don't work outside the home, then Angie's MOTG capsules would seem to be directly on point.

eta: I also have this one, which is pretty good:
http://www.amazon.com/Style-In.....pd_sim_b_5
And Tim Gunn's book is here:
http://www.amazon.com/Tim-Gunn.....d_sim_b_13

tarzy

Veteran

Are you a "list" girl? I found that a very helpful way to keep myself on track. I literally write a list of things I want. It's helps to be very specific. For instance, I don't just write "top for jeans." I write "knit wrap top that flatters my bust in solid blue." In the past I would often buy tops that fit, but were a color I didn't love, or tops that were a great color, but were a bad style for me. Now I am very, very focused and if something doesn't fit all the specifics, I don't buy it. (Well, I still slip up sometimes, but I'm better.)

I would start with the basics. One killer top. One killer blazer. One killer pair of jeans/pants or a skirt. Maybe make one complete killer outfit first, then move on to another one (whose pieces work with the other outfit!)

And If you don't know specifically what works, posting pictures is the best way to find out, as others have mentioned.

You can do it! What's the first item you want to buy?

Carole

Veteran

I feel your pain, stringy! I would like to be a minimalist, I think. I feel like I'm still not as focused as I should be or discerning when adding to my wardrobe. I think the initial zeal I found here finally got me shopping, excited to try the motg formulas, or adding accessories and colors that have inspired me here, but I didn't really have a plan and I made some mistakes! I have always been a bargain shopper and am finally ready to spend more and have less, but it is a hard habit to break.

I agree that you should get rid of things you don't love, That is probably my problem too. I have a hard time letting stuff go I think might work later. I'm not much help, am I? But maybe it helps to know you are not the only one struggling. I'm taking notes on this thread!

MNsara

Veteran

I think the learning period and transitions you are going through are (pretty much) unavoidable. . .especially if you are coming from a place of simplicity and minimalism into the whole wide world of style possibilities. Yeah for your recognition of your personal style preferences!!

I came from a pretty minimal mindset -- my closet may have held a lot but I only wore a small part of it -- and my introduction to YLF turned my way of dressing upside down!

I look back on my first ventures into more 'style' (just 10 months ago or so) and a number of those pieces I already would NOT buy today -- I know more now! I am further refining what stylish looks I like on myself, what actually does look good on me, what size is truly correct for me, etc.

I DO expect to see my learning curve slowing to where I can avoid bad sizes, colors, and fits (sometimes with a little pictoral help on YLF ;-). My mistakes will probably be more in trying something that I later decide I just don't need to go there. And I think I will fall into a more minimalist pattern again with some great favorites and a few new looks to check out each season.

Mamapicklejuice

Veteran

Is there a specific MOTG outfit you'd like to start with? I may start a thread on that for myself.

medusa

Veteran

Stringy, nice post! I definitely know where you are coming from. I think you should definitely give yourself permission to experiment. Trying lots of things is the best way to discover your style. It sounds like you have already learned a lot about what doesn't work for you - that's valuable! Going ahead and doing a closet clean out and getting rid of the things that don't work can really help.

Being a minimalist is relative. I used to think I was, but experimenting and learning about my style has been so fun that I don't think of myself that way anymore. I still don't have a lot of clothes compared to some people (my closet is pretty small), but I have a lot more than I used to.

One suggestion that worked well for me is to invest in basics and experiment with less expensive items. There are some things that you probably know will be key basics for your wardrobe: bras, jeans, camisoles, white button-down shirt, clamdigger jean shorts, shoes, etc. You could put together a list from Angie's formulae. Then you could go to less expensive stores or thrift stores and just try some things and experiment. Once you know more about what you like, you can go for quality all around.

Lisa

Veteran

Hi Stringy, Not much to add, but I'm also in the middle of both a closet clean out and updating/revising my wardrobe. It does indeed get rather overwhelming and frustrating. Just letting you know you are not alone with making changes.

stringy

Veteran

You ladies are just wonderful, really. This is helping so much. To answer some questions...

Colours I like: I'm a Soft Summer, I think. Mostly I find that in-between colours look best on me, like teal rather than green or tangerine rather than red. Brights wash me out, even though I like them so much, and pastels make me look ill.

What I used to wear to work: a limited rotation of tees and jeans, with woolly jumpers (sweaters?) in winter! My office is creative casual, but I'm part of the nerd team and we get let off the 'creative' hook compared to the designers. But I'd like to increase the creativity of what I wear, I think it'd be fun.

I was talking about those MOTG styles Angie posted last year - so far, I think I've got the hang of #5 and feel great wearing it, because it's so close to what I used to wear before, only more polished. #1 is nearly the same but the cardi and ballet flats are a bit too exposed for the rainy weather I'm getting right now. Maybe in spring.

I was going to tackle #8 or #2 next but have had trouble with the long-sleeved tee part. But I have clams and jeans and 1 pair of tall boots! I wore a version of #3 to work but the reaction I got made me think the dress was not casual enough. Literally every person I saw that day commented nicely but loudly about how different it was to my usual outfits - I bet you all know what I mean!

Mamapicklejuice, if you start a MOTG thread I'll be there with bells on