For those having a hard time embracing the midi.. let's talk it out... - YouLookFab Forum

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For those having a hard time embracing the midi.. let's talk it out...

Queen Mum

Veteran

Whenever I say that I'm not fully embracing the midi, I feel that I'm being critical, but I'm really not. I want to embrace it, and there are many midi looks that I do like, but somewhere in the recesses of my brain, I can't get past the association with frump. I feel that I need a bit of "midi therapy" to figure out why this is so that I can move on and fully embrace the midi.
So, let's chat ladies. I"ll chime in more later.

Dressing

59 replies

Latest reply was from Sylvia

Queen Mum

Veteran

For instance... most of the older women at my church have been wearing "midi's" forever, and looking frumpy, if I can be so frank. So now, I'm supposed to breeze in with my midi and somehow people are supposed to know that *I* am being fashion forward while everyone else is just wearing the same dresses they've had for 30 years?

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

Are you worried that you might end up looking like this? Because this is my fear with a denim midi!

http://www.womanwithin.com/Pro.....1b2166c62d

I am a mini girl at heart. Being 5' tall, I thought I could NEVER do this look but it is possible. I challenged myself to find a way to make it work. It took a lot of different iterations and I even had to get my swing skirt slimmed to give me the right shape.

Here is the formula that works for me:

Waist definition + nude heels + below the knee but above the calf length.

You really need to think about all of the elements of a midi outfit. This is not a quick throw on a blouse with jeans and ballet flats and run out the door outfit. This is an outfit that takes planning and patience. I know you can do this because I've seen your outfit, accessory and shoe evolution posts.

Sarah

(website)

Veteran

I am right there with you, Queenie. I grew up in what I consdider now to be a religious cult (no, I'm not calling all religions cults, and I am a Christian...I just don't want to ruffle feathers). Most of the women in that group wore midis or longer, and the frumpier they were, the more "conservative" you were.
I could only wear skirts also, so for about two years after we "left", I refused to wear one regardless of length or fit.
So midis are very hard for me to reconcile because of that past and association.
I have seen one midi outfit that has appealed to me.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ma.....ltback=396
(second photo down)

If I ever wear a midi, heels are an absolute MUST. Very modern, fashion forward, and as high as I can stand. I think the pattern and fabrication of that skirt makes it less frumpy cult and more fashion forward.

In addition, even though I'm not trying to "prove" myself to anyone, I feel like if I don a midi, I'm telling that entire group that frump and controlling what women can wear is okay. Does that make sense?

MsMary

Veteran

Heh. I know what you mean, QM. When I got to YLF just over a year ago, I was wearing my skirts just below the knee and it was a pretty major production to get them all hemmed shorter. And now I'm all fashion-forward for having a few that escaped the seamstress...

Sarah, big hugs to you!!

Freckles

Veteran

I have a bit of a hard time with them too. I find that since I wore them 30 years ago that sometimes I feel that my style hasnt' changed and I'm in a rut... I think I also want the body and no wrinkles that I had then or they don't look right.

Maybe it has more to do with "style" than fashion forward for us?

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

And look how Coldwater Creek is showing this midi.

http://www.coldwatercreek.com/.....69070129-2

Now they are not known to be the most fashion forward retailer on earth. But I still think the skirt looks really cute. Look at the details, like how it is waist defining, hits at just the right spot and is worn with nude heels. They are following my formula! Maybe they have been reading YLF too

kimana517

(website)

I feel just as you do, QM! Even the stylish midis, which I see pics of people rocking here on YLF and on other fashion blogs, do not appeal to me personally because of frump-association. (Although I am not looking at those women on YLF and blogs and seeing frumpiness. They all wear it very well. It's just for *me* that I have a problem.) Clearly I need the same therapy you do! Actually, I'm a big mini fan, so maybe I need another therapy entirely.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I have 2 or 3 midi's by pure accident! I simply bought the dress or skirt because I liked it and didn't pay a whit of attention to the hemline. Like MaryK, I am suddenly fashion forward with them because I didn't fiddle with fixing the hems when I joined here. Goes to show fashion is fickle sometimes . . . a year ago I was told they are too long, now they're the cat's meow.
Specifically, the midi I like is my H&M green linen halter dress. It feels kind of retro Marilyn Monroe to me and I think maybe the streamlined upper body helps to balance the lower half?

kimana517

(website)

Oh, and I think the general necessity of heels is another thing that keeps me from the midis. Granted, I'm quite tall, so I probably don't *really* need them, but I dislike the look without them... and I have a 3-year-old boy to play with at the park and such, so heels for day just don't work for my lifestyle right now.

Hmm. Now I've got myself thinking about MOTG outfits with midis.

Kafe

Hmmmm...... I've always liked the midi. I guess it depends on how one would define "frump." The long jean skirt with tennis shoes modgrl linked to would definitely fall under "frump" to me. I think wearing the midi successfully all depends on the accessories and top that is worn with it and wearing a midi as such would not be "frump" to me. I find midis, even the ones falling right on the widest part of the calf, very feminine and good looking - as long as the rest of the outfit looks nice too.

modgrl - being petite as well, I like your formula, but how would you add boots into the mix? I love boots in cooler/colder weather

Queen Mum

Veteran

great thoughts everyone.. keep them coming.
And, FWIW, I'm wearing a midi with ballet flats today. I don't have time to snap a pic before I leave, so I'm having to rely on my own instincts. I'll submit a photo later for your feedback.

Queen Mum

Veteran

oh, and I LOVE that outfit you linked to Sarah, and Rita, the pattern of my dress is very similar to the pattern of that skirt you linked to.... too funny.

mrseccentric

(website)

Veteran

hmm, i'm not help here - i've loved midis since i was a girl and have worn them happily (and hopefully non-frumpily) all my life.

my trouble is with minis. i dealt with it by never wearing one since1973! all that time i have never worn a skirt above the knee - there were plenty of other clothes and silhouettes that i liked just fine so i wore those instead.

i say if the thought of a midi drives you mad, just wear something else! steph (the enabler)

Nakidra

Veteran

I've always been into midis because I'm tall and work in a conservative environment. If I go even to the knee with my skirts I feel too exposed at work. It also had to do with my age...I'm about 10 or 15 years younger than my co-workers so if I cross the line at all I seem too young (even though I'm in my mid-30's). So I've always tried to make my mid-length skirts look fashion forward without being frumpy. It's all in the footwear ladies!

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

@Kafe, I think long, tall, slim fitting polished (not RATE) boots would be best with this look. Angie's blog post from yesterday has some great examples. I would be very weary of any mid-calf or shorter boots with this look. I think it can be done well if you are very tall, just not on me.

MNsara

Veteran

Oh boy - I was NOT excited to see midis coming back. . .and I'm on the fence too! I know I come with 'midi baggage' from years ago. I shudder at the memory of midis, so I'll be cautious now.

But isn't it also okay to let trends that don't appeal to us pass by? If I was in love with midis and trying desperately to figure out how to make them work for my short-legged, pear-shaped body, that would be one thing. But if they don't ring my bell, or it's too much work to get those details correct, it's okay to take a pass, right??

That said, I'm trying to figure out how to wear a below knee skirt today :-\

Queen Mum

Veteran

sara- yes, it's okay to let trends that don't appeal to us pass by, but I'm suspecting this isn't a trend. I suspect that in a couple years ALL skirts and dresses will be below the knee. So, i feel that if I don't jump on board now, I'll be hopelessly outdated with all my dresses above the knee. I could be wrong, but I dunno.

KikiG

Veteran

I guess I just haven't been paying attention that I was supposed to have purged midi length shirts! I'm petite, but I have found that a mid-calf, a-line skirt is wildly flattering to inverted triangle me if I make sure that the top is fitted or body conscious. I also like to belt the top to control where it hits me and to focus attention on my reasonably narrow pelvis. So, black boots with heels, a grey a-line midi-length skirt, a cowl neck black sweater (sleeves pushed up, always) and a torso-lengthening belt makes a good work look for me that doesn't seem frumpy or excessively conservative (in my universe, in my life). Thinking this over, the heels and accessories--I'd go for some bling in some larger earrings--are what keep it from being too dowdy to my eye, I think.

MNsara

Veteran

Good point, QM!

Plus, I'd like to get at least one or two longer skirt outfits together as I bet they're great to wear - no worry about bending over, tugging hemlines when sitting, warmer in cold weather, etc.

Kafe

As I mentioned above, I think the top and accessories make the outfit. Here is an example of an outfit full of nice individual items, but pot together, to me, looks frumpy. It's the shoes that break this outfit for me:

http://www.asos.com/American-A.....clr=Cobalt

If she had black tights on with it, it would work for me way better.

What do you think about this outfit?

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I've been watching old episodes of 17,18 and 19 Kids and Counting- and I am seeing a while lot of unattractive midi's! I get those images seared into my mind and don't want to try. I only have a couple of skirts, anyway- so skirts at all are a stretch for me. I do like some of midi styles that I am seeing, and I'm hoping to thrift something that will work and not look Dugerish.

hillview

So far I have not been into midis. I'd love to see some photos of people in them! I have tried on a few and I always look like I am wearing a trashbag ... I am used to wearing fitted clothes (or sweat pants!) so maybe that is my issue.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

QM, you and I are right on the same page! I will participate in this trend, but as you may have seen in my recent posts with a couple of older and vintage skirts, I'm putting my rock'n'roll edge on it with heeled boots and leather jackets.

I wore a lot of midis in the 80s and 90s without even knowing that's what they were. Once I discovered the more universally flattering knee length (mainly through WNTW a few years ago), I have mostly stuck with that length. To me, that is classic and will never truly go out of style. But I like variety.

I will just be very careful about styling to keep the look fashion forward rather than backward. And my shorter skirts are staying in rotation as well!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Kafe, I hate those shoes with that outfit. I don't care if it's cutting edge, it just looks like black sneakers with a full skirt, which brings up 80s Working Girl images in my mind. But frumpier. That model is a little waif of a thing, imagine that on a more typical female body and it's a recipe for all kinds of frumpery.

Anonymous

Since I'm petite, a lot of my dresses are below the knee by default. I find them most flattering when the waist is defined and I wear them with high heels, either pumps or sandals with a very low vamp.

To me, they also look most modern when the skirt is very full or very fitted, rather than straight.

DressLover

Veteran

Chewy, you nailed it. A bad midi is very Duggerish. Just like a bad mini is for conducting business on the corner.

My favorite midi silhouette is when a) the skirt hits between below the knee and the upper calf and b) closely follows the line of the body rather than flaring out. I think the shorter the length and less volume, the easier it is to look sleek and current. Not that length and volume can't be done, but I think shorter midi pencil skirts are easier to work with. Here are a couple photos of my favorites.

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Jonesy

Veteran

To my eye, a skirt that hits right above the knee, right at the knee, or right below the knee is essentially the same skirt--I don't see any risk of frump with those right-around-the-knee lengths, and I have been wearing that length of skirt forever. Venturing several inches below the knee can get trickier/frumpier/escape-from-the-compound-y. I think the key, as several others have said, is chic footwear, along with perfect proportions and fit. An up-to-date hairdo seems important as well.

If I'm wearing a long gathered denim skirt with some sort of droopy tee, some trainers, and have overprocessed, badly-dyed hair that hasn't been cut in 10-15 years, pulled back in a banana clip or scrunchie, well, I am ready for my makeover on WNTW :).

ButterflyLady

(website)

Veteran

QM I am also in need of midi therapy. To me, a midi that hits at mid-calf particularly screams FRUMP!!! really loudly . I'm only 5' 3", I think I could do just below the knee (I have a skirt like this, bought pre-YLF) but when I've tried it out, I prefer it with boots, so that's the way I will be wearing it.

I also think it takes me a long time to adjust my eye to new 'looks' - I'm still not there with the maxi, looks great on some (although to my mind not practical) but on average height and shaped women ... well, not my thing.

catgirl

Veteran

Kim, I'm right with you. The midi was never really out here. A good friend has worn them without cease since I've known her the last 15 years, and she is not a stylish dresser. I know there's a difference in how you style it, and I also know I generally dress for myself and not others, but to me it's just too common and badly worn to feel I can swim against the tide here.

Looking forward to reading the other posts here, and thank you for raising this question!

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