For crying out loud! - YouLookFab Forum

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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

For crying out loud!

Kristine

Veteran

I used to have such a hard time getting dressed that I would cry! I would get so frustrated by not being able to pull something together. The tears were a big motivator for me to spend more time on style.

I've been making a lot of progress and thought I was over the breakdowns, but this morning I found myself nearly crying again. I even planned an outfit last night, but this morning I didn't like it and nothing seemed to be working. I was running late for work, getting more and more frustrated. I ended up with a decent outfit and felt pretty silly afterwards.

Does anyone else cry over this process? Style comes much easier when I relax and have fun with it, but sometimes it's so frustrating!

General

17 replies

Latest reply was from Kari

kimlee

Veteran

Kristine- I can totally relate. I have had several evenings wherethe hubby has found me in the closet in tears, because nothing I was putting together seemed to be working. I agree that approaching style with a relaxed attitude makes it easier - but for some of us, their will be rough days.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

My husband jokingly asks me how many costume changes I am going to need to actually get dressed in the morning. I do think that if you can try on your outfits the night before and make sure everything is worked out that you will save yourself some time and frustration in the morning- at least until you feel more confident.

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

I absolutely empathize, Christine. For me it was usually a matter of feeling enormous and unattractive in my clothes, which just opened up various other cans of worms. I must admit that the number of breakdowns has diminished considerably since finding YLF, largely because Angie's tips and forum feedback help me to feel more confident about what's in my closet. If you know for certain that each piece is flattering, you'll feel more capable of assembling great outfits.

It's not unheard of for people to post their next day's outfit on the forum for feedback if they're having doubts. Feel free to do that!

Kristine

Veteran

Thanks for making me feel better! I have been taking photos for the first time this week, so I'll get them up soon. The photo session is actually what set me off, what was creative in my head looked a little goofy through the camera! I find it really helpful to take photos, somehow it gives me a perspective that I can't see in the mirror.

rute

Veteran

I have some secure outfits that I use when I have no time or mood to get creative.

garmenta

I've found that the more choice you give yourself, the harder it is to get dressed. Endless choice tends to go hand in hand with a highly critical eye, which makes it worse. Limiting your wardrobe options makes life easier. When I went into the office every day, I had six or seven outfits--everyday and for special meetings--and I rotated them in a pretty routine way.

It helps to have a few "go-to" outfits for the situations you routinely find yourself in--more formal or more casual at work, for instance--which really helps to diminish the worry about "is this okay for whatever I need to do today." You know it works, you know it looks good, and you know it's going to feel comfortable. So you can stop worrying about it and get underway.

I no longer go into the office, but I have "go-to" outfits for working from home, professional association meetings, and meeting with potential clients. And I have fewer days when I try on everything I own and fling all the offending garments in a heap on a chair.

Anonymous

Kristine, you are not alone. I'm not a morning person, so really need to lay out my outfit the night before in order to get going in the morning when I'm not thinking clearly. I include underwear, shoes and accessories so that i don't have to think of anything.
It helps me to take time to try on a new item, including footwear, with many things in my closet when I buy it. I hang pants hemmed for heels separately in the closet from those for flats because some are very similar (like 2 pair of black black jeans).
A notebook with the chief top or bottom named at the top of the page and lists of successful outfits I've worn using it is very helpful. I date the outfits so I can find what has worked in various seasons. I also try to jot notes of changes I'd make or coments I've received on the outfit. I do this at the end of the day for outfits I might want to repeat or tweak a bit. In a pinch I have a go-to list.
When I'm trying a new item, I make a page for it with what works as I put together outfits.

Sihaya

Veteran

I have some "guaranteed" outfits that I keep for such an occasion. As I've gained weight in the last year, I don't look good in many of my old favorites so it's been very challenging being in my closet and I refuse to buy too many clothes in the next size up. So my guaranteed outfits have been working extra hard. You might want to ask yourself - what is thematic about the days you don't feel great and burst into tears. That might help you solve for what to do proactively for those mornings. Sorry you're having a rough morning.

medusa

Veteran

I've been there, definitely.

The "secure outfit" idea is great, I should do this more. I feel like I should come up with a new outfit every day, and sometime it's too much pressure.

Kristen

(website)

Veteran

Oh my gosh, getting dressed in the morning is not for the faint of heart at my house! My husband gingerly stepped into the bedroom one evening and surveyed every shoe I owned strewn across the floor and asked, "Did a shoe bomb go off this morning?" Hee!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I don’t mean to laugh at everyone’s expense, but these comments are absolutely hilarious.The musings of the exploding wardrobe.

Seriously, I want to offer a BIG HUG to those who are frustrated. This is why I have a business – precisely to keep the feelings that you feel in the morning at bay. With the right wardrobe items, a bit of organization and a positive body image, you’ll prevent morning apoplexies. It’s my YLF promise to you.

Louise

Veteran

hugs kristine what a rotten start to the day.
I think it comes down to time in the morning. I now start work at 11am (bliss i'm sooooo not a morning person) so i'm able to potter in the morning deciding what to wear and mostly feel great with what i wear but when i started at 8 arghhhhhhh it was a nightmare i was always rushed and ended up throwing anything on then feeling naff all day. I'm sure if the outfit looked good last night you should trust that your morning instincts aren't as good as the night ones and go with the pre prepared outfit x

marianna

Veteran

I've been late to work or school before because I couldn't find a thing to wear. You know the saying "A closet full of clothes but nothing to wear? Yep, it rings true QUITE often. I think is has more to do with body image and self esteem than really having nothing to wear. When I am feeling particularly fat, I have a hard time getting dressed.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I was so time starved today, Ben was on back shift and the kids where being kids, that I left the house wearing my false plain coat, over my micro check trousers. The snow frizzed my hair and the heating in the office was broken. My apoplexy developed when I looked in the mirror at lunchtime (ouch). I will be more aware tomorrow.

bella

(website)

Veteran

First of all, congratulations on your style journey! It seems like you've been doing really great so far so don't get discouraged by a single setback!
I would like to offer two tips that have helped me in the past:
1) safe outfits: I will echo those ladies who suggested it earlier in the comments. Find a couple of outfits that you feel great in, that make you feel fabulous when you wear them no matter how how much bloated/fat/tired/ugly you feel in the morning.If you have a couple of fall back options, those mornings will go a little more smoothly.
2) Don't delay finding your outfits to morning, right before work: It seems that you are already doing this. In addition, I would also suggest putting some time aside once a week in the evening or over the weekend as your "fashion show" time. At this designated time, pull items from your wardrobe, mix and match, experiment. If you like the end results, take pictures. Then you can replicate these outfits in the mornings throughout the week and even come up new ones throughout the process.
I have been through this process myself. I was really experimenting with new looks and new outfits almost everyday this time last year. I was literally sporting a new look every single day. However, this year, I am in a place where my work takes a lot more time and I cannot really afford to spend as much time on getting ready in the morning. Hence I fall back on my good repertoire of tried and tested looks and it is ok. It also helps that in the process, I completely pared down my closet and have no more ill-fitting, unflattering clothes. I also continually keep eliminating things that I don't look or feel fabulous in and try not to buy anything that will not work with the things that are already in my closet.
I think that like Angie said, with YLF's help, you will eventually get to a place where you will have a fully functioning wardrobe, where each item fits and flatters and works beautifully in many ways with the other things in your closet. In the meantime, however, by spending a bit of time on and falling back on old favorites when you need to, I am sure you will be able to avoid fashion-related breakdowns! Good luck!

Kristine

Veteran

You guys are great, thank you!!

Kari

Veteran

Oh goodness, Kristine, I have that happen nearly every morning. I'm relieved that I'm not the only one who's indecisive in the mornings even if I've planned out what I'm going to wear. A big part of the reason I hesitate is body image, like others mentioned - if my hair won't cooperate or my skin is broken out, I'm almost guaranteed to feel crummy about myself no matter what I'm wearing. My other hang-up is simply being indecisive and striving for something that looks "perfect" until I don't know what to put on. (And KristenKP, my "shoe bomb" goes off all the time, along with a good deal of the rest of my clothes.)

That's a big part of the reason I started photographing what I wore (even before I started asking for feedback on the YLF forum.) I find it extremely helpful to have a visual of fool-proof (or even a collection of "killer rating from Angie") outfits that I can grab in a hurry if I'm feeling frustrated. I've also found that dresses are more flop-proof for me than separates if I'm uncertain, particularly because they're more forgiving with weight fluctuations than pants are.