Finding your style after/during pregnancy

Anonymous

Hi everyone! Long time reader, first time poster

How do you remain looking stylish while pregnant, or while on maternity leave? And have you found that your style evolved after having kids?

I’ve found that I’ve never really been able to pinpoint my style, because I’ve always had a lot of clothes that were handed down to me, or gifted. My closet has always been full to the top with clothes that I never wore – either because I couldn’t find combinations that I liked, or because I never really liked the items. I would purchase an item here and there, but to be honest – because of the lack of understanding of my ‘personal style’, I never really made those purchases with a clear idea in mind. So, most of the time, those items that I would purchase, would hang in the closet unworn…..sad and lonely….

Then, ever since I gave birth to my daughter in 2019, I’ve been re-evaluating my style. During my late-night nursing sessions, I would read forums, and books, and listen to podcasts and watch YouTube videos on finding your style, building a capsule, benefits of a minimalistic approach to clothes, etc.

I was on a mission – to return to work after maternity leave as a stylish new mom! I wanted to rebuild my wardrobe in a classic style with pops of color, with pieces that I would be able to easily pair together.

AND JUST AS I STARTED THE PROCESS - I found out that I am pregnant again!

So, of course, my plan of wearing those beautiful capsule pieces and experimenting with different looks and styles, now turned into more comfortable, not particularly eye-catching looks (why does most maternity wear have to be so matronly looking….). And I know now that for the next 4 months of pregnancy, and then for a full year of maternity leave, my wardrobe will primarily consist of comfortable clothes.

I know I can forget about my cashmere, and my silks for a little while.... But I still don’t want to completely compromise on style. SO, my new mission is - how to continue finding my style, and be a stylish mama, while still being comfortable when staying at home with my 2 kids for a year.

Challenge accepted! But where the heck do I start? LOL

4 years ago

General

10 replies

Latest reply was from Liesbeth

Runcarla

Veteran

@LucyDiamond - why not start by filling out your member profile, so that forum folks might better know your preferences and what styles resonate for you? Another good exercise is to breakdown the hours of your week (168) in order to have real data on the life you lead - then order your wardrobe accordingly - developing capsules for your activities. Several members have an ‘On The Go’ lifestyle that calls for mostly casual outfits, with a few elevated items to make that outfit special. Sounds to me like you fit the MOTG descriptor!

4 years ago

Cardiff girl

Veteran

I think that washability(is that a word?)would be my number one wish for clothing when dealing with small children.You don’t want to be worrying about your clothes when you are with the kids.Having said this I think with modern fabrics it’s very easy to build a small, but stylish ,washable kiddie friendly wardrobe .l think the main problem might be the time taken to track suitable clothing down.Prehaps think about your usual style and how to adapt it .For example are you a trouser girl or a dress girl.?Do you like colour or neutrals?Do you already have basics that you can build on like a good pair of jeans/chinos?
Runcaras suggestion of thinking about how you will spend your time over the week is very pertinent.For example if you are going to be in the park with the children on a regular basis you are going to need reliable outer wear depending on your climate.So to conclude I think that I would start with a list of activities and clothing required then work from there building in personal colour and style preferences to come up with a wish list of clothing that you can gradually acquire as you find it.

There is plenty of good advice on the forum in the archives.

4 years ago

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

I totally relate to this! I went from working at a pretty dressy office to working at least part time from home after having my first. I gave up silk completely because it spots and even if I was wearing it to the office it would very likely immediately need to be cleaned upon my return home!

I also lost a lot of waist definition, more so with my second. I find that it takes a good 2 years for my body to become a stable shape and size after each pregnancy. But after my second, I returned to almost the same size as before.

Now I'm working from home fulltime and my 25 month old still nurses. So I have to be in nursing friendly clothing 24/7. That said, it was different in the early months. I wore a uniform of leggings and nursing tees (latched mama. And I like kindred bravely for pj's and night bras) during my mat leave (4 months) mostly because I could sleep or do yoga in them opportunistically as the baby allowed and it was easy to nurse in with no fuss. I had 2 or 3 nice pair of leggings and 5-10 tops. I think I got my leggings from Lou & Grey. Now I'd probably add joggers/high quality sweats to that mix. I'm eyeing a pair from this recently spotlighted eco brand: https://everybodyeveryone.com/

I also loved a nice big cardigan during this time. I have 4 that I used; one cashmere, one chunky cable-knit, and one heavy merino shawl collar, plus a terry one. Comfy doesn't have to be dumpy!

If it were me, I'd probably go through your capsule items and put away the things that aren't nursing friendly. Even if you only plan to nurse for a few months, these items will be out of commissions for a while. Same with any top material that will show spots when wet, like silk and some rayons, etc.

This leaves a lot of flexibility still, though...button down tops or any non-bulky top is workable as long as you can wear a tank under it.

I use cheap ones with stretchy straps and then just hike up my top and pull down my bra and tank. I often don't even wear a nursing bra! I just wear a bra with a soft cup so I can pull it down. probably not great for my bra, but I got so SICK of the lack of support in most nursing bras...
Dresses or jumpsuits are the trickiest they need to be wrap style or button front, realistically. But even within these constraints I've found plenty of selections!

Anywho. For maternity wear I loved a rental service. I bought one really nice pair of skinny jeans from Good American and I think I had a pair of black ponte skinny pants from my pervious pregnancy (Theory) and then I just did a service and rented mostly dresses and tops. I did le Tote but there are lots to choose from. I think I paid $100/month which was on the spendy side but it was important for me to feel good during was turned out to be a difficult pregnancy where I also worked.

Good luck! If you have any other questions I can answer please LMK!

ETA, I've added some finds of some of the things I've suggested. Madewell sweats, button-front jammies from Boden, a selection of button front/wrap tops that are nursing friendly, a wrap dress, the tanks that I like, and a couple cardigans I enjoyed during mat leave (not available, but here as examples).

Here are jeans. I recommend the midrise. It worked perfectly for all but the very last month plus I also wore them immediately after birth:

https://www.goodamerican.com/c.....nity-jeans

Madewell

MWL Superbrushed Easygoing Sweatpants

View Info

Top Pick

Boden

Janie Pajama Shirt

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Top Pick

Boden

Freya Jersey Top

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Nordstrom

Gibson x International Women's Day Khanh Sleeveless Knit Wrap Top

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Top Pick

Everlane

The Japanese GoWeave Short-Sleeve Mini Wrap Dress

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Nordstrom

Halogen Halogen Seamless Two-Way Camisole (2 for $38) | Nordstrom

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Nordstrom

Topshop Topshop Long Open Front Cardi | Nordstrom

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Nordstrom

Autumn Cashmere Open Front Knit Cardigan

$352.00 $140.80

Sale

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4 years ago

Joy

Veteran

During pregnancies I had no style. My goal was to get through it spending as little as possible. I know I craved a softer more feminine look than I usually had. My biggest problem was finding a warm coat that would cover the huge baby bump. The first baby was born a month past my due date and was too big for me. In those days they did not induce.
There was not such a thing as stylish maternity clothes. They were awful. And you do not feel like shopping or trying things on.
Especially later I the later moNthis when you really need something like new underwear.

4 years ago

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I didn’t have much style either at the time, just let my stretchier bottoms stretch until eventually found a pair of maternity jeans ( possibly second-hand?- it is hard to remember, this is 30 years ago! ) I also remember some nice long red maternity shorts with a striped red and white maternity shirt. T-shirts of hubby’s too! The shorts and shirt I did buy new but I don’t recall them being too costly. Some specific maternity brands seemed horribly expensive to me at the time and I refused. I was lucky to have a similar sized friend, recently had had a baby, whose mother had sewn her a dressy outfit which I wore to a wedding in late pregnancy. By my third child I also purchased a second-hand outfit which I jazzed up with new buttons and a hat for another wedding. Mum gave me a lightweight dress for summer too.
It is difficult to decide how much to spend when you wear them for a short time but I did still want to feel like me! In retrospect I am pretty happy with the middle-of-the-road route I took.

4 years ago

Jenni NZ

Veteran

When I was trying to work out my style, much older than you ( late 40s by then after weight gain), one thing that really helped was searching all my old photos for things I really liked through my life, outfits that I loved, and trying to see what they had in common.

4 years ago

Sal

Veteran

Welcome to the forum!

I follow useless and mademoisellejaime on Instagram and they have both had babies. They both like simple neutral colours and look very stylish.

I think a mix of maternity specific and clothes that adapt is a good blend. Not too many for any one time.

4 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

I was looking at old pictures the other day of Princess Diana in her maternity dresses... and all I could think was, maternity clothing has come A LONG WAY. Angie’s MOTG (mother on the go) outfits are what first led me to YLF. I really studied them in depth. Read every post in the archives. So I guess I would start with an analysis of needed function, an exploration of broad styles that appeal to you, and then a look-see as to what’s on offer out there... and leave no stone unturned, as Angie says. Tbh, one of the best pairs of pants I have are maternity pants from Walmart. Wear like iron and go from casual to dressy...

4 years ago

Jane

Veteran

Welcome! Congratulations!

I only had a very few items of clothes during my pregnancy - it was a long time ago - and it was around two pairs of trousers, one skirt, one jumper, three blouses. I managed to keep my normal wardrobe going until about the fifth month. So maybe choose carefully, just a few items and wear them til you are sure about your next purchases.

4 years ago

Liesbeth

Veteran

I found pregnancy the best time for a capsule wardrobe. I bought a couple of staples like maternity jeans, seasonally appropriate tops and one or two dresses for nicer occasions (you may need none at this time...). Lots of it second-hand. Then topped up with cardigans, scarves and oversized items from my regular wardrobe that worked. I borrowed quite a bit too but found those pieces often too far removed from my own style.
Seeing as this is your second time around, you probably know your favorite way to dress postpartum (pj's, leggings, dresses, button-downs and/or designated nursing tops...). Why not assemble a nice little postpartum capsule of those pieces in styles you really like? Again, finished off by a couple of crossover pieces like a nice (easy to launder) cardigan or scarf...? If you have a tight capsule that is worn constantly I personally feel the initial expense is justified.

4 years ago

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