Filling holes vs holding out - YouLookFab Forum

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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Filling holes vs holding out

Meredith

Veteran

Hi all,

A few weeks ago I decided to do a color experiment. I almost alway gravitate toward bright colors if they are available, but a flattering new lipstick shade encouraged me to try on items in a softer, cooler color palette. Focusing on the color, but not really the style I bought an armful of options to try at home. I learned that while I will never give up on my happy brights, these new colors definitely deserve more of my attention.

Now I have to decide whether any of the styles are worth keeping. I'm leaning towards no on most. I really want to refresh most of my fall tops (they don't feel current), but I don't think it makes sense to refresh okay with other okay things. Maybe I should focus on buying one amazing head to toe outfit and mixing in my current pieces.

What are the benefits and drawbacks of holding out for 10s early on in one's style journey? Is that an unrealistic goal?

P.S. I will upload photos from my phone of some of the items I tried. As I said, I think most are going back, but please let me know if you seem something I don't.

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Dressing

27 replies

Latest reply was from Golden

cjh

(website)

Veteran

1 and 2 look like great layering pieces. Think of 2 with a fab blazer, tweedy jacket or sweater over in plummy shades? 3 and 4 I love! Of course they are my colors, look cozy and useful. 5 - meh? 6 - good color and I like the shape.
Do you have specific flaws that prod you to return these, or are they just not your usual choices? All that being said, if you don't love, don't keep.

Meredith

Veteran

cjh, thanks for the feedback. I think my biggest problem is I am in the overthinking/paralysis stage of wardrobe building. Always second guessing and wondering if things are good enough to the point of not making a decision.
I've thought about my wardrobe enough to know I want to make better choices, but I still have question marks about what constitutes my personal style and what I really need for my lifestyle (I'm in a weird limbo stage).

There are not really any flaws to the pieces, but some feel more current than others. I find myself wondering if I should hold out for pieces that push the envelope a bit more, but maybe I should be more concerned with that type of thing once I've pinned down a style direction.

thimblelina

(website)

Veteran

I have to balance this every season because my wardrobe is so small. I try not to spend 'real' money on anything but my personal 10s. Right now I'm cruising thrift store racks for new midi skirt shapes to try, but I directed my big budget to the perfect a-line denim skirt from Boden. I only buy '10' jeans, that's why I only have a few. Could use a few '10' jackets but if those elude me I'll drop the wad on a single leather one & just make due. Sometimes I'll sub out something from my dream list with a good lesser equivalent. I was prepared to spend $200 on some cognac d'orsay flats at anthro, but then I found a similar BCBGeneration pair on sale.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I love that #2 has both a very beautiful and on trend fall color but also has interest so that it would layer beautiful under different toppers for fall. I also love the same or similar shade of #3 and like it for the cozy factor - if it's a good fabrication and feels good on, I don't see why you wouldn't keep it. The other items I am not as certain about.

Marlene

Veteran

I'm a fan of #6 (what brand is it BTW?) I like that it is muted AND still saturated. The others seem to be just OK to me, color-wise.

Deb

Veteran

I like 1,2, 3and 6. Both the colours and styles suit you very much. Not as sure about the colours of 4 and 5 on you. Hang out for things you really like otherwise you won't be satisfied, waste your money and end up with things you don't feel good in or wear. It does take some time, perhaps a few years, to build a fab wardrobe, so allow yourself time. Maybe start with a foundation of good basics in the right colours for you, and add the wow factor after that.

Anonymous

Don't keep anything that you can't wait to wear. Your coloring looks similar to what mine was before my hair turned grey and I'm not sure that these are your best colors. They seem a bit muddy for your complexion.

Alassë

Veteran

1, 2, 3, and 6 are colours that look wonderful on you. Do you have concerns about the style of the tops, or having too many tops in a particular niche? Otherwise I'd keep these new ones. 4 seems very casual (unless you need a lounge item), and I don't think 5's colour flatters you.

Elly

Veteran

The warm jewel tones are my favorite on you -- the green dress is nice, but I don't know where one would wear such a thing.

Suzanne (ambergreen)

Veteran

I agree with everyone on which of these work well on you to the eye, but the main thing is that rather than thinking and analyzing what might work, it's more about how you *feel* wearing them (like DEB and Joy noted). (And this coming from another person who tips way more toward thinking than feeling...)

Yes, sometimes we do need to just fill wardrobe holes, but I do think it is worth holding out for what we really enjoy. And though better quality is always a good thing to go for, pieces you really like don't have to cost a lot.

Meredith

Veteran

Thanks all for the thoughtful feedback.

thimblelina, I think it could make sense for me to fill the gaps with some less expensive items and focus on a few key 10s. I think that might feel more manageable.

texstyle, I agree there is a lot of visual interest to #2. Color and two patterns in one top? It definitely appeals to my eclecticism. Of any of the options it probably is closest to what I understand my style to be.

Marlene, Thanks for the feedback about the colors. I agree that none of them really make me sing, but it was fun to try a new pallet! The blue top is by Adrianna Papell.

DEB, I appreciate you giving me "permission" to take time and good advice about focusing on the basics.

Joy, May I ask which colors worked best for you? I'd love to try some other options!

Alassë and ambergreen, I just don't want to go overboard with too many tops. On the one hand I really need to refresh my tops and I love the idea of starting with many items at the beginning of the season. But I do find myself wondering if there is something better out there. I also think back to a past thread where some folks were arguing that it isn't reasonable to expect to be as excited about a basic top as some other items in one's wardrobe. Maybe I need to be okay with "just fab enough."

Meredith

Veteran

Elly, I overlooked your comment! The green dress is tricky and almost certainly going back. I was so tempted by the sleeves! A dress with sleeves! But it's really too body con to be very versatile.

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

I like #2 the best because it has both color and print, and the color is good on you. I also like that slaty color in #6 on you.

shedev

Veteran

I like the jewel tones best . What are the other attributes of these tops besides color. How well do the styles fit the direction you want to go. I think if you are leaning toward returning then follow your gut .If you don't feel the love now, you probably won't in the future.

Aida

Veteran

#2, 3, and 6 all look good to me.

Regarding filling vs. holding out, there are a few ways to look at it. If you are truly rebuilding, you may not be able to hold out for all 10s because, well, you still need to be wearing something! When you've got pieces in place already, then you can afford to be pickier and more patient. In addition, with very few pieces even if they're higher quality, you run the risk of them wearing out much faster than they would if your wardrobe was in a more complete state.

If you're still sorting out what your personal style is, it may be worth looking at basics that you know feel like you and putting your focus there. Like, if you know that you love and will wear dark skinny jeans or a black a-line skirt or a crisp white shirt or a slouchy gray sweater, get those in a 10 and put in some dollars there.

For some of the trendy things, if you wait until your 10 comes along then you may end up missing out on the trend; in these cases, sometimes I will keep an 8 because wearing the trend will make me happy (and I could always continue looking for a 10 if I wanted). It's sometimes tough to get that balance of "I want a 10" and "I want to wear this right now". And if you're eclectic, that can make things even more difficult; it becomes really easy to end up with a LOT more 8s than 10s.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

I think #2 looks great & I love the structure of #6 on you. Having said that I wouldn't keep anything I didn't feel great in. Photos only tell part of the story & you are the one wearing the clothes

Gigi

Veteran

My favorite styles on you are 4 and 6. #4 is quite casual, as someone else has pointed out, but what I see in it is that you wear the fluid fit very well.

It's really a tough question as to whether you want to hold out for 10s. I guess my opinion is, if you really can't get dressed very well because you're missing, say, the perfect leopard print belt, and having such a belt would help you put together a million outfits, then it might be a good thing to settle so as to create more immediate versatility in your wardrobe. However, if you're just thinking how nice it would be to have a moto jacket because they look so smashing, but you already have a boring jacket that technically could do the same job as the moto, I would keep looking for the perfect moto, because not much wardrobe versatility would be gained by settling.

I think the cost of the thing also matters. For instance, a moto jacket is expensive, so it makes sense to wait. And I think it also matters if the item is a statement piece. Since the statement piece packs the main style punch in an outfit, you wouldn't want to compromise. But an "OK" long-sleeved t-shirt might be a place to settle, since such a shirt might be necessary to help you put together lots of outfits while you await finding the perfect one.

cheryl

Veteran

My favorites are 2, 4 and 5 but I think they all fit you well and they all look great!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

If you're wardrobe building and you don't have unlimited financial resources AND you aren't completely sure yet about your style preferences and direction, then it's better not to wait for 10s on everything. Aida summed it up very well.

When I joined YLF I was in this situation. I had literally no clothes after a 35 pound weight loss. And I had no real idea what I liked, what looked good on me, or even what was out there (since I hadn't shopped for a while). So I made sure I had some "10" jeans (since I wear denim almost every day), a few "10" coats (since I live in Canada), and a few "10" booties (ditto) and supplemented with thrift shop, consignment, and on sale items to try different colours, shapes, trends.

Even then, it was expensive. I don't think I have anything now from that first year on YLF except (probably not coincidentally) the jeans and the coats! (I wore the booties out, so that's not a condemnation of what I bought.)

It really is a process of trial an error.

A couple of thoughts. On my screen, it's really difficult for me to judge how good these colours look on you. Not saying they look good or bad. i just can't tell.

#1 is a fun dress. I hear what people are saying about how difficult it could be to wear, but it really depends on your lifestyle and needs. I have a dress that body con and I wear it a lot, in fact. But, I don't work in an office. And I "de-bombshell" it with tights, a topper or sweater, and in various other ways.

Style and colour wise from what I can tell -- I like 2 and 6.

Meredith

Veteran

Sorry to bump my own thread, but I got distracted over the weekend and didn’t have a chance to respond to the rest of you. Ummlila, shedev, Aida, caro in oz, Gigi, cheryl, and Suz. Thank you all for the very thoughtful advice. You offered very practical opinions regarding these specific pieces but more importantly offered insight into the bigger picture. After mulling this over during
the weekend, here’s what I’ve learned.

1. Many of you cautioned me against buying something I don’t love because those items frequently go unworn. As I thought about this I realized that I’m actually really good about wearing what I buy. Even if something isn’t perfect I usually find a way to make it work. BUT, I do think that I am more eager to replace the things I don’t love, so I’m still feeding the shopping habit.

2. It’s probably not realistic to expect everything to be a 10 at this point in my wardrobe building process, but I need to identify strategic pieces that must be 10s and track them down and then fill in with the basics, the 8’s, etc.

3. I need to put together some very tiny capsules. Back in August
I started to think about building a capsule for fall. I love Angie’s posts on capsules and think they are very realistic for my lifestyle. But building a cohesive capsule to last me 5 days of the week (or even 3) is just beyond my capabilities at this point. I need to start smaller, but keep some of the
principles of capsule dressing in mind. I have some ideas about where to go with this, so stay tuned.

4. Many of you asked whether anything was specifically wrong with the pieces and I had a hard time answering this question. But a little window shopping
trip today gave me the words. Those tops make me yawn! I make this mistake time and time again. I may yet keep one or two of the tops, but as I suspected from the beginning I plan to return most of them.

Thank you for helping me process! Without you all I’d have another
sad season of clothes. I look forward to sharing some of the more peppy, joyful clothes I have in mind.

jackiec

Veteran

You are being very thoughtful and careful - I like that! But let me say I love 1&2, and I think 3 as well, on you. You look so amazing in that dress - colour and style - esp with the booties.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

What Jackie said!!

Beth Ann

Veteran

Another thumbs up for 1,2, and 3. If seems to me like you're on the verge of a style shift -- it often begins with that sensation of, "I have nothing to wear." I'd suggest buying what works for your lifestyle and gives you pleasure, but refraining from making big, long term purchases until your style direction settles a bit.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

My favorites are #3 and #6 and I think the soft blue in #5 looks good on you too. I think Aida has a good point - it makes sense to hold out for 10s with more expensive essentials like coats and jeans. On the other hand, if you want to change your style a bit, you have to take some risks and try some new things, and holding out for 10s might restrain that.

Meredith

Veteran

Suz and Jackie, those are the items still in the running!

Beth Ann, thanks! My overthinking definitely gets in the way of the happiness factor, but I think I'm getting cliser to being more intuitively.

Thanks Shevia!

Lynne

Veteran

FWIW, I like the top in #2 on you, Merideth.....the colours are deeper and the line is fitted and smooth. I can see it being quite versatile for you. However if you're not loving it, and you don't need it, I am sure you can hold out. It's good to try these things, if only to train your eye as to what works! Have fun.

Golden

Veteran

I love 6 on you! The color is great!!!