I read all these responses and they are so interesting. I find LaPed’s response the closest to what I was composing in my head as I went along. Mine will be quite long …

I find the “fewer but better” mantra that one hears on social media to be virtue signaling around buying something expensive. Or, relatedly, to be, as she said, personal mental gymnastics around buying an expensive item.

I’m guilty of over-shopping and over-spending for sure (hence my aspirational word of “austere” in a separate post) but I’m not going to pretend I’m saving the planet by hiring a Mongolian eagle hunter to knit me a sweater made of fuzz hand-harvested from her goaties in her spare time. And pretending that will be the ur-black sweater of my life.

Let me give you a mental gymnastics example from last year: I was going to go on a well-paid consulting gig for a middle eastern government. While planning for the trip I convinced myself that displaying an expensive bag was a signifier of power and status in that business setting and could help us land more business with the Kuwaiti government. So I got a YSL tote that accommodates my laptop. Then, the friend who asked me to do this consulting job with him died suddenly, a month before our trip. I still have the bag. Now it’s my “Jim” bag. I use it often. I love it but it doesn’t fulfill the purpose for which I convinced myself I needed it.

I do my worst shopping when I convince myself I “need” a particular piece of clothing. I spend ages poking around looking for the thing and then settling, often to come across its more perfect version a month after I’ve cut the tags on the item I settled for.

And finally, to the brands you’ve mentioned as aspirational: I have some specific commentary.

Some of the items in my closet that have had the greatest longevity are Anine Bing. However, I find most of their jeans and pants to have rises that are too high and lengths too long for a person of 5’4”. I’ve tried Toteme also and likewise find it to be too oversized and long for the most part. I like Nili Lotan because I find the brand presents items outside of typical trends. The casual pants run a bit large and some are definitely of a fabric quality that is not at all worth the price. My favorite sweaters and sweatshirts are from NL. I had a hard time wrapping my mind around the sweatshirt prices but they earn their keep. The more formal pants run small and haven’t worked for me.

In the end for me it is about money and the way to improve for me is just “fewer”. Fewer has tended to gradually lead to better. It has taken patience.
Since I had kept track of what I had spent on clothing/shoes since 2011 and regarded it as an “addiction”, I felt the average per year was a lot for stuff that I floundered around with.
And patience for the right thing for me has meant I will pay more sometimes- like the olive boots I was looking for for over a year. When they came across me from the expensive shoe store, they were on sale but still $218 which was more than I would have paid when buying more items. And 47 wears over 3 winters since is good going.
I no longer have an upper limit specifically but will be thinking very hard about anything over about $200 as I am aware if I make an error it is going to be more expensive. But I’m really trying not to make an error even on something cheaper, for sustainability reasons.
I don’t tend to do “have to have” or “now I think I need” items. It’s more organic than that. They’re wants not needs, and they can generally wait.

I think I am more successful with shoes than other clothes items as I have really fussy feet and I"m on my feet a lot during the day. I tend to spend more on shoes (but not an excessive amount)deciding on a style and usually only buy one pair during the warm season and another pair during the cold season, and rely on one or two pairs to get me through the season. I would like to be like that with my other clothes, but haven't got there yet. I notice when I take the time to research items and don't panic shop, I am better at picking things that are durable in terms of wear. In saying that, I am someone who can wear the same things everyday and I'm quite happy to do that. Last year I wore my 2 wool blazers and black wool coat interchangeably all winter and have definitely got value from them. The wool blazers were from a medium priced chain and the wool coat was thrifted, so not necessarily expensive. Its mainly when I shop for events or shop in a hurry because I feel I need something quickly (I guess settle) or duplicate, that I think I make mistakes.

@LJP - regarding the black cashmere sweaters - I'd imagine one as more $$ in some very interesting design and more famous brand name, and one - fairly classical and suitable as "black canvas" item that works with many other pieces taking backseat in overall look. So - 2 black cashmere sweaters in and 3 older ones out ( getting one instead of 3 older ones maybe limiting - just saying ).
I love reading all responses.

LJP, I would agree with you except that the idea is more to get just one black cashmere sweater- assuming that all 3 older ones are similar is style or proportions concept and you only need one at any given time - (it’s different if you have 3 sweaters practically alike but what you really need is one that works with a certain type of bottoms and another for different proportions.
Anyhoo the main idea is you would get a really good quality replacement and try to stick with “ the power of one” but you should be picky about fit, the right length, the cashmere appears good quality, based on whatever info you have, you feel fab in it. So there isn’t a requirement that it HAS to cost more ( I’m leaving out inflation, because all price points are inflating) , but it’s that if you find one that seems to tick the boxes, and especially maybe having looked around some and know that certain other ones don’t measure up, then you buy the one that is a good value for your wardrobe, one & done.
So it’s quite likely that it will cost “more” in comparison with all the cashmere out there, but you still would likely have a price limit ( I mean, for every type of clothing there are brands that sell a version costing literally thousands, even T shirts !). But you could find one not crazy expensive that truly is good enough, even though there are always ones that cost more.

I think you made an important point earlier, which is that it can be quite time consuming to research, browse, shop, try on, rinse and repeat for each of dozens of different items in even a small wardrobe. Plus my gripe that things don’t stay the same— you often can’t just go back to the same well and know you’ll get good quality. Or the same fit. So I feel like I start the search all over when replacing something.
Gets back to Angie’s PPP, which does not include Perfect.

I would love to have better clothes and buy fewer. I buy from fast fashion stores so, these clothes are so poor quality that after I wash them, they look like rags. Then I have to go and make the effort of selecting and buying more. I need a list of good quality and nonexpensive stores.

Lisa - I'm sorry if this is redundant because I did not have time to read all the replies. To me that phrase is a caution about buying the piece you really want. Sad story, maybe early 30's, zero money as I'm a resident, I saw an amazing designer (I can't remember who very trendy 90's brand) green varsity type jacket and I think it was $300. I really loved that jacket but I did not buy it. Instead I hunted for something less spendy, bought the practical piece, hated every minute of wear. The less price didn't make it a bargain. Had I bought the spendy jacket I would have felt amazing in it, gotten my cost/wear and since I'd over spent I would have been willing to do without any more shopping until I was back on budget. For me, I use that phrase to caution about settling. I really like VB blazers, they fit me well, jackets do almost all my heavy style lilfting, I already have compatible dickies and I wear a blazer to work every day. I don't buy them at full price - I wait for sales, poshmark and ebay NWT's. So I'm buying fewer pieces, at a pricepoint I can afford, but that work with my lifestyle and wardrobe. Same with spendy jeans - I wear jeans on the weekend. I have the madewell 9" but the rest are paige or COH - but they fit me perfectly and most, on the wear, are under $5. So it's about buying what I can afford but being more attentive to how I feel - tactile (the jenni kayne cashmere fisherman - amazing), fit (my vb scuba jacket and pants - workhorses and perfect), my theory lugsole knee boots (so comfy and too cool for school) - it's enjoying things so much they will stay a long, long time earning their keep in utility and pleasure.

I started a different convo on this topic of "better" .....FYI. : )

https://youlookfab.com/welookf.....-on-better