Oh, BiscuitsMom... my heart breaks for you. I've been
exactly where you are, emotionally, and I can tell you now that you don't need
to feel that way. But while it's easy for me to say that, I know from experience
that those feelings of unworthiness can feel like a horrible dark place you
can't escape from.
I don't know you very well, but the way you describe your friends, and the way
other commenters have referred to your family, suggests to me that you haven't
had a lot of experience being respected and cherished by others. My
understanding is that when this happens to us, we can imprint off those
behaviors, and we learn to abuse ourselves, too. Feelings of unworthiness
are a form of self-abuse that we do because we've been convinced that something
bad will happen if we stop. We're convinced on such a deep level that we
believe we can't help feeling that way... and at first, it's true!
I have a couple suggestions for you. First, from the comments, it's clear
that you loved your beloved dog very much.
I’m sure you would not judge your dog as harshly as you judge yourself! There’s an exercise that was one of the very
first things that helped me overcome these feelings. First, find a small mirror, and a comfortable
place to sit. Close your eyes and
remember your love and approval for your dog… summon those feelings as strongly
as you can! Then bring the mirror up to
your face and open your eyes, and try to continue to feel that love and
approval toward the person in the mirror… yourself! Can you do it? The first several times, I couldn’t! But I kept trying, and over time, it became
much easier, just as I believe it could for you. Sometimes, we have to trick ourselves into
feeling healthy emotions, and that’s okay… it takes practice to learn to love
ourselves.
The second thing that comes to mind is a book that I love
very much, titled “The Four Agreements”.
The book helped me understand what had happened to cause me to despise
myself so very much, and how to overcome the sense of hopelessness in my
life. I highly recommend it.
If you’d like to talk more, please feel free to message
me. I have spent far too many years of
my life enslaved by feelings like these, and I would like to help another
sufferer escape this prison.