Michelle, I came back this morning to read that you still have no resolution. I was worried that something like this might happen. You've tried so hard to prevent a direct confrontation but you might have to initiate it anyway. I'm sad about that on your behalf.
I have found the responses here so kind and wise and it has done me good to read them, too. So thank you for risking yourself by sharing with us.
As usual Sarah the White offered such wisdom that I simply have to echo her. As I read what she said, it occurred to me that -- in my own life -- every single important decision I've made has been painful! With the possible exception of the decision to move to the city where I currently live. I gave up things and miss my old city, even decades later. But it's not so far that I can't visit, and in the end it has been a good place to be. Anyway, the move itself wasn't fraught, so at the time, it felt pain free and relatively easy to do.
But all the others? Oh...so much indecision, sorrow, or confusion leading up to them, and often for some time afterwards.
My own personal examples?
Leaving my first marriage to a man I still loved but felt irreconcilably at odds with (whether that perception was grounded or not, it's what I felt.)
Deciding not to practice law after studying for it.
Entering a relationship with someone who had children from a previous marriage. (A whole new set of complications and a steep learning curve.)
Deciding to commit to writing despite the likelihood of failure in the world's sense.
Adopting a child after infertility.
Leaving my current job.
There are times when we simply have to take that leap and speak up for who we are and what we want and need -- no matter what. This is one of those times for you, and I wish you continued strength and clarity and you go forward.
