Feeling out of sorts style-wise... - YouLookFab Forum

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Feeling out of sorts style-wise...

catgirl

Veteran

I'm glad I got to take a break for a couple of days to visit my ill friend, because I was and am still feeling flummoxed and all irritated about my style issues. I can't seem to figure out what I like or want to wear any more - I have these fab items that I love, but struggle with outfits and an overall happiness factor. Plus I feel like I'm striking out judgment-wise and sending off returns like mad - returns that should never even have been considered. There's not much tempting me in the stores right now, at least, which is probably good.

I'm not sure if it's spring, or a possible job change, or dealing with my friends, or feeling fat and frumpy from a long winter - I'm just in a big old slump. Rae's post about a style transition really hit home, but I'm not even sure what direction I'm going or why.

Not sure there's a cure here, just wanted to share why I've been gone more and not postiing as much. Any kindly shoulder-patting and "there, there"s gratefully accepted!

General

36 replies

Latest reply was from Aida

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Wow. This is news to me....I was just thinking that you'd hit your stride and were now running!!

But I hear you on the long hard winter, and the pressures of work and worry about your friend and other issues, and I do think that could easily get you down -- plus the switch to spring is (I suspect) particularly tricky for those of us whose real spring does not arrive for MONTHS after spring things start showing up in the stores (not to mention months after we've become thoroughly bored with our winter clothing!!!)

I have not noticed any strike out outfits. What happens if you wear a FFBO? How do you feel then?

rae

(website)

Veteran

*Shoulder patting*

I am sorry that you are feeling this way, Una. From my own angst, I know I don't wish it on any of us here. I'm betting that everything you listed is a factor. I feel like we are really in a similar boat, what with not only a really sad/scary/tragic event to deal with, but also an uprooting job change. For a while, I didn't know if I liked eggs in the morning, let alone what I was wearing.

Are you able to take any time to ignore fashion altogether? Your friends sound really close to you, and maybe being creative with outfits has become something of a burden on your mind during this time. You could make a file of all your fave outfits from recent times and commit to the FFBO file for a while.

XOXO

Caro in Oz

Veteran

At the risk of sounding like my mother there, there:) Are you sure it isn't life in general & not your clothes? You have a fair bit going on.

Maybe a step back from clothing for a while would clarify things. You could pick out a couple of your favourite pants your fabulous boots & a jacket - then try different tops with them - wear & repeat (it works for me).

unfrumped

Veteran

Sounds like a time to just focus on something else now. I think you always look fab,so it maybe distractions and fashion fatigue. If you focus on it,you may get nowhere, but ignore it for awhile and a fresh point of view will emerge. You are also an active lifestyle person, too, right , so maybe recharge there somehow( weather may not be cooperating.)

kellygirl

Veteran

I'm sorry that you are feeling like you are in a fashion funk. I go through this every once in awhile and I just rely on FFBO's until it passes. I find that when I'm stressed, I tend to be dissatisfied with everything. Honestly, I have to say that I would never have guessed you were anything but your stylish self--all of your recent WIW's have been stellar in my opinion. You always look so put together (even in your house shoes!) I thought I noticed a slight style shift--softening of the UWP with your flowy trousers and sweaters. You have a great sense of style and I know that you will find your way back to a happy fashion place. ((Hugs))

ElleH

Veteran

What everyone else said. Nothing for me to add but hugs. Just don't buy anything final sale right now. At least you can return it. I think fashion is changing drastically, & that is without all of your life changes happening.

rachylou

Veteran

*pats on the shoulder*

I think the truth of the matter is, things can't stand still.

But I must say, I dread the whole life evaluation which I should probably myself take up at some point not too distant in the future.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

I have been missing your WIWs. Sorry you're feeling out of sorts too.

There is plenty at retail I'm not drawn to. Zara's pretty exciting though, and I am happy with the footwear selection. Maybe you just need a few wardrobe refreshers.

I was also thinking that dressing in black and white; white and cream; or white/cream and grey would be Spring-like yet still wintery.

I fear this comment might sound disjointed, my face is going to fall on my laptop any minute now!

Ingunn

(website)

Veteran

Una, I'm so sorry you're going through a stressful time. You have a great wardrobe and it will serve you well even if you don't refresh it for a while. My mother use to tell me to take a walk when I need to sort things out (a Norwegian favorite pastime activity), meaning getting out for some fresh air and to soothe the mind. I hope you find your enthusiasm again soon, and no worries, it will happen rather sooner than later.

Hil

(website)

Veteran

Hi Una

I totally hear you! Hugs! No real words of wisdom - this will pass! Just be gentle with yourself!

Aida

Veteran

*there there* and also me too Can't quite tell if it's seasonal slump or stress or directional change or something else. I usually take a break when I get out of sorts, but this time I am trying to be more proactive. Not much is appealing to me in the stores either, so for the moment I'm just browsing and analyzing my Pinterest board. Things will work out!

ramya

Veteran

Aww Una,

I am so sorry things are difficult right now.
But then I think weather isn't helping us much either.
Just ride it out sweety. You are fab and strong. It doesn't matter that I donot get UWP but you look fab because it's you who is wearing it.

There is something about you that makes it such an innate part of you.

Just remember that.

So with so many things going on with you, just remember to pick your fights. Fashion is something you do it right by just being you, that is Una. So donot bother much about it right now...

hugs and kisses

Kalli

Aww don't give up! It'll come back, that's what we are here for. I understand, there was a point for two years, oh and I had braces put on in my 30s, moved, gained 20 lbs (yeah serious) and got frumpy. At least you are aware! That's the first step. You also inspire people so I think you are fab! Feel better soon!!

Anonymous

I'm sorry your feeling this way. Life, it seems, always crops up to stop us in our tracks. You have a lot on your plate and I think you shouln't worry too much about forcing any fashion changes for now; and as others have said you could just go for FFBO. You know, new stuff is coming into the shops all the time and it could be that in a few weeks you might suddenly spot something to tickle your fancy and set you off down a whole different path. In the mean time, hang on in there.

Anonymous

I'm so sorry Una, I've had that feeling. It is like no matter how hard I try, my outfits are meh. I think you are going thru a lot with your friend, let alone all of the other "changes" you might experience. You have more than reason. Hang in there.

For me, what does it weight changes, not because I freak out, no,I just can't take my clothes suffocating me, so I feel uncomfortable. Even 2-3 pounds, which concentrate in the same area uh, break havoc. I wish my clothes would expand with me. My only solution is to take it easy and stop imagining the round of paparazzi waiting for me to leave my house. I don't need to look super fabulous. I just need to cover my body. That usually helps because I feel is ok to not hit it out of the park, each and every day.

As you know, I am not a very frequent WIW poster, so that helps too. I cannot handle daily WIWs.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

There, there - sorry you are feeling meh - you are in between seasons, possibly jobs, and have a lot going on with your friend, so it is not really surprising. You have looked terrific in your latest WIWs. Maybe once you have mastered your style you are looking for a new challenge? Anyway, end of winter is a well known time for the blahs and soon there will be more light at least.

Karie

(website)

Veteran

*shoulder patting and hugs*
Like the others, I always thought of you as someone so well-defined in your style persona, and perhaps you still are, but just need to take a breather and wear some old favorites that you know bring you joy. Everyone's style changes a bit from time to time, and maybe yours is too. Could be the long winter, could be personal stuff, but take some time to relax, rejuvenate and reevaluate, and it will all work out. I promise.

Anonymous

I think a lot of it is the stress and limbo you are in. Take gentle care of yourself, and just rely on FFBOs until you are able to engage with your hobby again. You have some killer pieces, and it is ok to just want to cover your body in an appropriate manner and not worry about style innovation.

It will come back. Sending you a hug.

Deborah

Veteran

There, there! I totally get where you are coming from and I blame the change of season. Or these could be like growing pains and you are about to experience some evolution in your style. How you feel certainly doesn't show:)

Isabel

Veteran

Una, you do have a lot going on...and most of it not exactly uplifting. Don't set too high expectations for yourself.

FWIW, I am not excited about things in the stores at all right now. And regarding returns, how are we suppose to assess and judge if we don't see it, feel it, touch it ? I think that it is a good sign that you are not keeping the majority of it. I have also loved the way that you have been looking lately.

Sarah A

Veteran

*there, there* When we have a lot going on it is hard to feel like we have "got it going on" if you know what i mean? I think you have been given a ton of good advice, and just wanted to give another pep up and vote for some FFBO choices and riding the waves out for a bit then attacking the problem when you are feeling refreshed and excited about dressing once again.

rute

Veteran

We have have stages in life where we do not feel happy with our wardrobes, sometimes it has to do with other factors, sometimes it has to do with some style transition! Give yourself a break or think of what do you think is missing when you choose an outfit!

Sona

Veteran

Una- huge hus not just pats!

I think you need to really focus on what Angie has advised you again and again- your real life. If this job change takes place it sounds like more tailored, conservative pieces may be required? You can still add your UWP stamp on them with accessories or shoes. I think this is a stage of great flux for you so it is hard to make decisions. I think time will unfold itself as to what your sartorial direction should be. For now, enjoy the current style and wardobe you have which is Una-tastic.

Tina.b

Veteran

I've been at these sort of junctures several points in my style journey. It can be frustrating and overwhelming, especially with the added stress you are under. For me the key is to take a break from thinking about it, just wear what I have, don't worry about adding anything else.

Also when I am uninspired by current offerings (which is rare because I seem to always be able to find something to buy, ugh), I browse at totally different stores. Stuff way out of my price range, men's stores, or places I've discounted in my mind in the past. Just to garner a fresh perspective.

ironkurtin

Veteran

It's OK. Fabness is a state of mind. You will travel there again soon.

catgirl

Veteran

Oh, thank you all so much. Waking up to this thread was a blessing. A lot of YLF shoulder patting makes a big difference. After my post last night I decided to stop browsing and start culling through my closet to see what was weighing on me. I wasn't sure if that was a dangerous thing to do in this moment, but it felt right. And I've put some things aside that have been giving me guilt or grief that I think will go to the consignment store.

The hardest one is my Allsaints cropped leather jacket, which I loved but rarely get to wear due to weather and work constraints. I tried it on and felt like it looked just terrible on me. The guilt over having spent the money on it is hard to take, but there it is. My closet looks a lot neater and most of what I've pulled out are old orphans that will bring some $ return.

Sona, you are right - that's just what Angie would say and I need to heed that advice until my life sorts out a bit more. All the turmoil is spilling over into how I feel about myself right now.

And unfrumped is right too. In all the other concerns, exercise like skiing (missed out to take care of friend) and climbing have taken a back seat. Getting some physical activity will do me a lot of good.

I see I'm not alone in my seasonal slump! Aida, Suz and other winter climate YLFers, isn't it hard? We are still far from spring, and that's definitely a problem as I get older in general. Time for a SAD light?

Thanks so much for the spirit-bolstering - it is greatly appreciated!

rae

(website)

Veteran

Heh, I just pulled out my AllSaints Mini Mac to resell last night, too! Mine wasn't even leather, and it still always felt seasonally confused, even in cropped mode. Sigh...

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Late but also agree with others about the seasons.
I've been trying to remix my existing clothes in new ways. Pinterest has been giving me some new inspiration.

ironkurtin

Veteran

AG, come travel to Austin. Mid 80's. (weeps)

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