Team IK here -- "mixed reviews" means (a) everybody has different taste and (b) people respect you enough to actually be honest.

You have probably noticed that I almost never post K/R threads, because at the end of the day what matters is how *I* feel about an item. If it feels great and I think it looks great, it's a K. If not, it's an R. What the rest of you lovely ladies might think about it is really only marginally relevant! LOL

For what it's worth, I think you have a super, individual, distinctive, fabulous style. Would I wear everything you wear? No. Do I super-love everything you wear? No. Do I super-love and envy a whole lot of what you wear? Heck yes! Does any of that really matter in the scheme of things? Not really!

As Angie says: You have KILLER style. End of story.

Zap, I am relieved by the short hiatus! I think I speak for shannon as well as myself to say that YOU and anyone else never feel like the bad guy. The angst feels much more like a failure of my body and mind, you know? Not saying a neg review doesn't sting, but it comes from inside, and from not having "done it" and achieved a personal goal.

I think that paradoxically it can get harder once one starts to achieve some "hits" and successes with style changes. I have discovered some fun looks and some hint of direction and I have to be remember to "carpe diem" and not carp, carp if I compare some ho-hum outfits or wearing winter into spring and they come up short.

I think your post can actually inspire me to try to think smaller--hey, not in the bad or give-up way--but feeling that same seasonal shift--the daffodils are blooming here but we're having a new cold snap--to include some small springy refreshers--including ones I have, like prettier colors, lighter-colored jewelry, scarves-- that won't take so much energy to achieve. I am "into" Angie's recent list and trying to remember that I only have so much time & energy (and $$) and if I try to update everything or hit 10's on everything I'll lose focus on a couple of key areas that might have the most impact.

Wow - I'm overwhelmed by all your wisdom here!

I will need to read through all your replies later when I have more time to take in what you've all provided.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE know that I appreciate any and all replies to any of my threads. In no way am I upset by comments and reviews that others provide - what I'm upset about is my personal style filter. As Rae put it, I'm mad at myself for choosing less than fab things and wasting my time and energy. I don't want sugar coating because you're afraid of hurting my feelings - I have no problem with that whatsoever. I'm obviously at some sort of cross roads with my style and find myself confused by it.

Angie - you have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say this is 100% normal! And I appreciate your sweet and kind comments, as always.

Ladies - let's just chalk this up to menopausal hormones and move on, shall we???

xoxo

That's what I like to hear, Shannon! Very apt coming from Queen Best Positive Attitude

Zap, you crack me up in the best possible way.

Shannon, I'm chuckling in sympathy at your last comment. I'm so ready for this darn surgery -- my hormones are driving me crazy. Two periods in three weeks will do that to a woman.

I'm with you sisters!! Try PMS for a month and see how logical and rational you are.

Shannon, you are fabulous and I love how you turn your attitude around in mere hours.

Fab, fab Shannon! I know exactly how you feel, and sometimes, I feel like I drive myself batty thinking so much and trying so hard to get every element of my style spot on. For me at least, It's impossible to do 100% of the time, so I have to let up. If I don't, then I'll break Angie's #1 style rule, Have Fun with Fashion. When I'm teetering on the edge of NOT having fun with fashion, I back off a bit. And that goes for K/R posts. I use them, but really if I just trusted myself a bit more, I'd already have the correct answer. Case in point, on Sunday, I was all ready to draft a K/R post for some floral jackets I'd picked up recently. I put them on at home, had my husband take photos, and then promptly decided that none of the jackets was the right one. I don't feel fab in them, so back they go.

My point -- you and your style are fab and don't forget to have fun!

Shannon, the thing is, you've always had loads of fun (and the great thing is, you share it with us, too!!!) But maybe now you are moving towards a different kind of fun at least some of the time. In the past, the fun was the thrill of the thrifting "find" (and the social aspect, I believe), and the thrill of many new items. You are at a crossroads in terms of increasing the quality of many of your items; this will utlimately leave you dissatisfied with items that don't pass your quality filter. But it's a process to get that filter working "just so." Obviously, not EVERY item can be a 12 out of 10; we always have to compromise on some items, whether it be on fit, colour, or quality of fabrication....particularly if we're talking about truly needed items when we have time constraints on buying. But it can be tricky to figure that out sometimes.

I think if I were in your position (undergoing weight loss) I would probably confine my shopping and refreshing to absolute NEEDS and to footwear, bags, scarves and some knit items that have a good chance of fitting after body changes. In the meantime, I'd make a list of truly desired looks and items for the fall (when much body changing may have happened) or for NEXT spring. This list of loves could grow and grow and grow...and so could your budget for buying them if you did some saving now.

But that is ME, and the way I would try to approach it. And it might not work at all for you. In which case, you should do exactly what works best for YOU, in the full confidence that you always look beautiful, fun, happy, and alive. And we love you.

There you go again Suz - in my head!!! I've decided to take the money from the leather jacket return and put it in a clear glass jar, so I can see it. And then every payday I'm going to add a bit to it and find excitment in watching that grow. I don't suspect I'll get to my goal in terms of weight and size until next Spring (I'm in this for the long haul and not looking for the quick fix) so that could work out really well.

I don't have a huge spring/summer wardrobe, but I have enough and I have things I really, really like. I also have a few items that I'm hoping to fit back into that YLF hasn't even seen so they will be like new. My only need item is a trench coat.

You have really hit the mark too with your comment about my need for quality increasing and how that is changing how I shop - but my need for the "thrill" still hasn't caught on to that change. This is particularly when I love and appreciate your analytical skills because I didn't see that until you mentioned it.

Thanks for your comments Jamie!

Shannon, I think it is your nature to love the thrill of the find. And you know what? There is not a THING wrong with that! It has led you to many delights and even some wardrobe workhorses.

I just think that over time you will add to that kind of fun with a different kind of fun...the satisfaction of PPP.

A trench coat is an excellent purchase. You might even get lucky and find one at Winner's or The Bay. I hope so!!

Shannon, I'm late to the discussion, and I don't have much more to add that is useful. So much wisdom and positivity here! You are gorgeous, stylish, and wonderful. We all doubt ourselves from time to time when we have a lot of failures, or perceived failures. But to my eye, you always look chic and darling.

But your thread here has inspired a few more questions. Does the camera tell the absolute truth? (Actually I can answer that one. No, it doesn't). Does it tell part of the truth? Do our eyes tell the truth when we look in the mirror? Where is the intersection between what the camera shows and what our reflection shows? Because how awesome we feel about our style depends somewhat on our perception of how our clothes look on us, and since we can't pop outside our bodies and view ourselves in real life as an outsider would, we have to rely on mirrors and cameras. And neither represents how you look with perfect accuracy. Right now you're having trouble deciding if you can trust your own eyes, and so you post pictures in order to use everybody else's eyes, but it's not a perfect system because the camera both freezes your image and skews it. People look different in motion and in real life. So you get differing opinions on how certain items look on you. Add that to the fact that everybody's style preferences are different, and you can see why you get mixed reviews.

I guess, in my usual rambly way, I'm trying to say that what you see, and what we all see, isn't necessarily what IS. But you are probably a better judge than you think. Trust yourself.

You know, it's funny, but for YEARS I thought my body was really oddly-shaped, because stuff never fits me off the rack. And I would see it in the mirror, and in photos (and let me tell you, there many, many spectacularly unflattering photos of me), and I would let my mind amplify what I already assumed was wrong with it. But over the past couple of weeks, I've been trying to draw it in a number of poses, which involves staring in the mirror while I'm wearing nothing at all, and you know what? It has made me feel really good about it. Because instead of looking at what I think is there, I've been concentrating on what is actually there, and without all the freeze-frame camera distortion and the clothing that should fit but doesn't. -

I swear, if we could all have clothes made to fit, we'd feel great about ourselves!

"I swear, if we could all have clothes made to fit, we'd feel great about ourselves!"

Hear, hear.

I don't have much to add either, just commiserating here! I return over 90% of everything I order/try on. Sometimes I get really frustrated about the return game, but I know myself well enough that if I don't love something and just settle, I end up not wearing the item. Big hugs to you!

Nothing to add other than I share your frustration. PPP can be hard but for me nowhere near as hard as closet orphans & expensive mistakes:)

When I was saving for a big wardrobe replenish last year every time I saw something I wanted I asked myself; do have something similar that will work? This stopped me buying 99% of the items I looked at:)

Hugs and commiseration to you Shannon! I was thinking just what Una (take what you need from comments) and Suz (weight loss + quality upgrade = tough times) commented. I've gone through both of these myself, and I find the second one especially tough. Pardon in advance my wordy answer

As far as K/R posts, I don't really post mine any more; I did at first, while I was learning more, and then stopped to work on honing my own eye as well as to help separate some of the purchase emotion from the reality of whether the item should stay or go. It's part of the reason I'm not on Team Wear. I still take all the photos (front, side, back), but then set the item aside for a week; I think on it, try again if needed, and think some more. By the end of the week I usually know whether it needs to stay or go. If I am still confused by then I may post it. I personally really do think that your eye is quite well developed, and there's no need not to trust yourself. If you wait a bit on those purchases, I think you'd come to a good decision; and if you are still stuck, THEN post them for feedback. When I DO post for feedback, I am usually looking for something specific that I do not mention; if people notice it, then it's A Thing and if not then it's probably Not A Thing. FWIW, out of every 100 things I try on, I will usually buy 0-3 things.

As far as weight loss + quality upgrades going hand in hand, that really can be tough. I was at that same point 2 years ago. I had bought a lot of inexpensive things while experimenting to figure out "my style", which was a great way to go about it especially as I also started losing weight at the same time. Fast forward to having a strong idea of "my style" as well as being a smaller size? .... Now those inexpensive experimental pieces start getting frustrating. The fits are off, the quality is off, and some the styles are off. Some of those pieces I purged, some I replaced with higher quality properly fitting pieces, and some are still in my closet awaiting either purge or upgrade and still driving me batty; but thinking about replacing ALL those items makes me feel faint ><

I think your wardrobe is in a much better state than mine when I got to the upgrade stage, especially since you have a good sense of what your style IS (though it sounds like you have some shifting thoughts on what you want you style to evolve towards, which I would love to hear about!) and you already have some good quality items in there. Since my reply here isn't wordy enough (heh) I wanted to share with you my own shopping list strategy (Look for my comment on Angie's shopping list post). Something like that might help you prioritize refresher items and quality upgrades in different levels along the weight loss process.

So! Regardless of all those words, Shannon you are an amazingly energetic, artistic, and positive lady with an adorable bod that deserves every bit of pretty fabric you put on it. And you really know how to do it right

Shannon, you never choose less than fab things. You are one of the best dressed ladies I've ever seen. It's just that your bar is so high now. When I give you opinions it's not that the item is bad, but maybe just a point you hadn't thought of and if it's something that changes your mind for good or bad, then use it as is. I think most of time were basically debating whether your item is a 9 or 10! Lol, both are great to me! Don't question your style filter, it's still working well, you have impeccable taste, and hopefully our opinions just help you out a bit, but just know whatever you choose you still look fabulous to the tenth degree!

Shannon, you have much great advice. You have such a great attitude and have fun with your wardrobe. Concerning your changing body and the need for a few shopping thrills, you might try thrifting/consignment shops again for awhile, being very picky. There are quality gems to be had and throwaway pieces to use to play with your style. By being very selective, you can still save toward fabulous quality things when you reach your goal and use Angie's prioritizing for needs and wants. You need to have the fun and distraction of the hunt sometimes and low expectations may keep it from being frustrating. Menopause hormones really do mess with your head and emotions too.

Shannon I do not know what I can add to the wisdom above (of which I have only managed to read half so far). You know you are a great inspiration to me and I adore and admire your style, to say nothing about your fabulous personality and character! I think it might be a bit of late winter blues as Janet mentioned above plus legitimate frustration from not finding what you want. And I do agree that you cannot expect everyone to love what you love (a la IK). So mostly I offer you more hugs!

Hugs, and I cannot add much to what has already been said, other than I am 1000% impressed by what you DO come up with since all you Canadians have educated me on the shopping challenges in Canada, especially for Petites. Even living in an urban area in the U.S., I know as a Petite that if I am too specific in what I seek that I will be met with frustration unless I extend my time parameters. And please remember to have fun!

For what it is worth, my body is not much easier to find clothes for. Being a petite you might have a hard time with lengths, but at least you will find clothes that are too big that can be tailored down. I am in the 14 category. The mysterious land between normal size and super size. (please no insult intended to anyone) but the clothes in the plus jump up alot in how they fit because I guess the manufacturers are picturing someone with a tummy as a 14. But I am not, so I try alot of clothes, especially bottoms, to find one pair that fit. And they are almost always too tight on my large thighs. BUT, to stop complaining and be helpful, I have developed a philisophy about it.

I do have enough clothes to make a good set of varied outfits for a season. And it there is a new thing I am dying to get (like you want a white moto - I want a white tux jacket) then I have plenty of time to come across that perfect item. It may not even be this year. When it does show up, I will love it more for the time it took to find it. And I will forget all the fails I tried along the way, for the joy of having my pp. It is not a race especially if I am not trying to find a trendy piece. I have the time and it is my money and I should get the best out of it. Not waste on a good enough. I tried over 15 khaki jeans in the last two weeks to find my pair.

Like Angie, I am amazed at how few negatives are posted on many K/R. It seems like the first few posts set the trend, either positive or negative. When that happens and I read in, I only post if I am not agreeing with the majority. It seems silly to just agree again with everyone else. And if the post is really a 'I love this what do you think?' then I don't respond if I don't love it too or if there are already over a page of responses. It is hard to judge what is really wanted but I think using K/R as a honest attempt for feedback, when you have already probably tried on 5-6 other items that you judged yourself as no's, and you have found your yes, is not the best idea. Like MaryK, I seldom post a K/R unless I truly am on the edge. I don't want a 'love it' item voted down because of a bad picture or bad lighting. I would rather take my chances if I love it already and keep it.

I am not trying to criticize you, but answer the concerns you posted. And I am late to the thread so I apologize if I am repeating someone else. My two cents is just that, not worth anything in today's economy but maybe a novelty anyway.