Feeling frustrated and not sure what to do? - YouLookFab Forum

Category

General

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Feeling frustrated and not sure what to do?

Staysfit

Veteran

Due to an ankle/foot injury suffered 7 months ago, I have had less ability to exercise and in turn have felt constant pain and more stress. I have gained enough weight to cause most of my clothes to feel snug and have no sense of when my difficulty will resolve however, the specialists I have seen are telling me to expect recovery to take a very long time due to the nature and severity of the injury. In warmer weather I was able to get by wearing dresses, shorts and sneakers, etc. With cooler temps, my wearable wardrobe has shrunk to only a couple pairs of jeans and a few tops. I am not sure if I should anticipate that I will be able to fit back into my clothes again or if I should plan on being a heavier weight going forward? I have gained about 20 pounds, which seems like a lot, however, I am tall. My weight remains in a healthy range for my height. I am not used to being this heavy, but I am not obsessing over it other than not having my usual selection of fun clothes to wear. What have others in similar situations experienced and decided to do? I appreciate whatever suggestions you may have.

General

30 replies

Latest reply was from Peri

Jules

Veteran

I’m sorry to hear about your injury, that sounds very frustrating. I think I would start by buying a few comfortable pieces in your current size, perhaps a small capsule, and see how it goes. Maybe you could consider the 3 toppers, 3 tops, 3 bottoms packing strategy that’s been mentioned here lately? If you have eg. toppers that still work factor those in.

Personally as someone who’s not totally sure I will stay at my current size, one that gives me fewer shopping options, I have focused more on jewelry, shoes, scarves and bags as my pleasure and statement pieces, and less so on sized clothing. Don’t get me wrong I have more than enough and i make sure things fit well, but my focus has shifted a bit in terms of spending and expectations of where the interest factor in my outfits will come from.

Irina

Veteran

I had a similar experience two years ago after I broke my ankle. The injury was complicated and post surgery, I spend months convalescing. I started physiotherapy and exercise as soon as could but the full recovery still took about a year. I gained weight, too, about 8 pounds but I’m petite, so it was enough to make a difference in how my clothes fit.

I was lucky, I started walking outside in the warm time and could use some of my dresses. I didn’t want to buy clothes in a bigger size, I went one size up but was uncomfortable with it. I had to buy two pairs of pants and jeans for my one day in the office. I adjusted my diet and with increased exercise, I eventually lost the weight. I use those jeans in winters and wear tights under. I altered one pair pants - put elastic in the waistband. I wear the second around the house and now very much prefer elastic waistband on all my bottoms.

Be patient with yourself. Your recovery will take time. If you want to be back to your previous size, you can do. Don’t rush to buy lots of new clothes, only what is necessary. In time, you will decide what do you think is best for you.

I’m very sorry that you going through the painful process. It will get better!

RobinF

Veteran

I also had an injury this year - broke my foot in January and it is just now starting to feel almost back to normal. Very frustrating to be in pain and have to limit my activity, so I feel for you.

I agree with Jules, maybe a few well chosen pieces to get you through a year or so. If you do eventually lose the weight it may take a while and you want to feel comfortable and well dressed in the meantime.

Star

Veteran

I had a bad bout of covid in 2022 which resulted in me not being able to do my usual walks for a long time. Coupled with a dip in healthy eating habits I picked up about 6kgs. This resulted in most of my clothes not fitting. I too am tall and was still within a healthy weight but most of my bottoms did not fit. I bought one pair of jeans in a bigger size for that winter and some pull on ponte type pants. Summer I spent in my looser dresses. Only now, with some extra discipline, am I down 4 kgs and some of my older pants are fitting comfortably. I did not want to invest in a whole new wardrobe so like others have said I made do with a few place holder pieces, knowing that I want to and will get back to my former size.

Sisi

Veteran

I am sorry you are going through this! If I were you I would buy a small amount of clothes in your current size so you can be comfortable. I like Jules' suggestion to focus on those little things that give us joy. My best wishes for a speedy recovery!

avicennia

Veteran

Oh I’m in that boat right now. I was up 12 lbs, now I’m down to just 6 lbs over but my clothes are still snug. It can very much impact your spirits to limit yourself to a few items. I’m focusing and health and recovery and hoping the rest comes along. Exercise has been very important to you, my sense is you’ll return to your old size once you heal.

cat2

Veteran

I would do a few pairs of stretchy pants to get you through the winter, and then just decide not to worry about the long term and focus on your recovery. Also, not sure if it’s helpful but I found during an ankle injury that I could do some light swimming with a pull buoy to keep my legs from kicking. You might ask if something like that would work if you have access to a pool with an accessible entry.

JAileen

Veteran

I’m so sorry, for your injury. Right now I’m experiencing pain in the ball of one foot. I don’t know what happened, but I can’t wear any clogs, my preferred casual shoes.

Like many people, I gained weight during the pandemic, about twenty pounds. I did buy new clothes, shorts and tees, just so I would have something to wear. I’ve lost about half of it, but it feels like I’m stuck here. I’ve started swimming which is fantastic exercise, but not very effective for weight loss. My current foot problem does not hurt when I swim, though. Cat2’s suggestion of a pull buoy, is good. If you just want exercise, you could use one and avoid using your ankle, or maybe even water walking, if your ankle allows it. We have a dedicated lane for walkers at our pool.

Cookie

I’m sorry your injury is still bothering you. I’ve always struggled with weight gain and this is one reason I stopped wearing jeans or trousers. They are by far the least forgiving clothes! I have a lot of full skirts and stretchy dresses that span 10-20 pounds. With tights or leggings and tall boots I am fine wearing dresses all winter (though winter in Boston is not what it once was). But if that doesn’t appeal, I guess I’d get a few pairs of bigger and/or stretchier pants and concentrate on fun tops, shoes, accessories.

pirouette

I’m sorry to hear of your accident. I fell last year and had 4 fractures 3 in my ankle and foot and one in my wrist. I couldn’t even use crutches due to the wrist. When I got back to exercise after 3 months I returned to my normal weight very quickly. I know it’s slow but this will pass and you will return to your original weight once you start exercising again. As others have suggested buy a few things so you feel nice and spend on your hair makeup and accessories until you can wear your own clothes again.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Stays Fit, knowing you (even just by your screen name!) i am sure that a huge portion of the trouble here is the inability to exercise as you are used to. When a person is used to exercising regularly for stress relief, the stress builds up fast in the absence of that opportunity!

Anyway. when I tore my meniscus a few years ago, I was stopped from my usual types of exercise (walking, hiking, short runs, and weights). I did physio but it was boring and did not burn the same kind of energy. Luckily, I was able to add in bicycling (with no tension, at first) and it actually helped my recovery. But the nature of your injury will dictate what is safe. All I'd say is, whatever your physio and you decide might be safe, give it a try, even if it's not something you imagine you might enjoy...because you will enjoy any kind of movement at this point!

I think each person's decisions about the closet will depend on the nature of the weight gain, their comfort level with the increased weight/ different shape, and the nature of the injury itself, of course. Not to mention, budget and type of work life and needs, e.g. do you have a special event you must attend and nothing to wear? And so on.

Speaking for myself, I think in your position (with a busy work schedule and a comfortable budget) I would start by buying a few pair of pants in the new size. Tops are more likely to be fitting okay, correct? I'd get the pants -- a pair of jeans and maybe two or three new trousers. You might also need a more generously cut puffer coat as well. That would keep you going for the winter. And then, I'd wait and see. Your weight may adjust, or it may not. But by the summer, you can reconsider and think about whether you need to add more. I like Irina's idea of looking for versions with a bit of elastic in the waist. That way, they'll work if you go up or down in weight.

This one from Anthropologie has some elastic in it at the back.

Slightly boxy tops/ sweaters could also be a good way to go -- these will look good either way.

Maeve | Anthropologie The Avery Elastic-Back Trousers by Maeve

View Info

Top Pick

3

unfrumped

Veteran

That is so not good. Wishing ongoing recovery for you.

I agree with having several outfits or added pieces that feel comfortable ( not sloppy but not having that too- tight in waist or seat that makes me feel very self- conscious. You might need to explore a few new brands that have the right styles and fits for you now. Focus on a couple of silhouettes— long over slim can make use of easy waist and stretch, but also wide- legs with boxy sweaters that cover an adjustable waist. Both can be with sneakers for wonky ankle. I have had some luck with Uniqlo, Athleta for bottoms and some tops and then whatever brands have tops that work. If you find a few good neutrals and colors, then scarves and jewelry can add polish.

A friend of mine still dealing with aftermath of a serious ankle fracture and unable to do her daily long walks, is considering strength training at a gym in order to use the equipment which allows being seated instead of involving weight- bearing and stress on ankle. Several major muscle groups can be worked quite hard this way, both for the actual muscle development and stress relief.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Oh Staysfit so sorry to hear this. My weight changed in the past 5 years by 12 kg from top number to bottom number, currently 9 kg down from the highest number. The extra 3 on again was enough to make 2 pair pants not fit, but many of my pants have fit all the way through, I think because they have elastic waists.
So like others have suggested I would start there, Suz’s advice is very good.

Joyce B

Veteran

Very sorry about your injury, I wish you a continued and full recovery.
Buying a few basic bottoms sized up may help for the time being.

Roberta

Veteran

What a misery!I also hope that swimming is an option for you. It has been great for me when other excercise was not an option (weather, back trouble, indolence).When you can't exercise, you lose those feel-good endorphins as well as the physical benefit.

Would a couple stretch sweater dresses suit you in cold weather? Those could be worn easily at a lower weight too.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Such wonderful advice from the Fabbers! LOVE IT.

(I echo the idea of swimming, and will through in yin yoga too).

Oh, Staysfit. Like others, I'm sorry about your injury. That sucks!!! Hope you recover fully SOON, and feel more like yourself, SOON. Know that you are fabulous at all sizes!

Onto the wardrobe:

Practically, you need to dress the body you have now - especially to get you through Winter. You will need a small capsule of the right pieces to do that.

My suggestions - budget permitting:

Grab the items that fit and put them to one side. Build a capsule around those items.

Start with adding some bottoms. Half elastic waists are great. To Suz's point. I have those pants in a brown check - size down.

Tops that fit fluidly might fit in a more tailored way, which isn't a bad thing. Add a few more fluid tops.

Outerwear! You need outerwear that works well, and closes in front. One long and one short, at a minimum. Not too casual, so the items can double-duty.

I like Roberta's suggestion of a roomy sweater dress, with boots.

Make sure the undies are the right size. Knickers, bras and camisoles are very important, and might need replacing.

Focus on accessories and hair! You wear specs - maybe treat yourself to a new dramatic pair. Get a hair trim, or try a new hair look! That takes the focus away from the clothes for a while - until your body settles.

Something to ponder, and happy to help!

Katerina

Veteran

Staysfit, I am so sorry to hear about your injury and the struggle. I do not have much to add to all the good advice here, only that I hear you and wish you will feel well again soon!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I’m late to this and see you’ve already gotten all the great advice, so I mainly just want to say I’m sorry you’re still dealing with that injury and I hope you heal quickly! I know I find it really difficult when I can’t get regular exercise or activity — it’s a strain mentally, physically and emotionally.

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

I’m sorry to hear that you’re unable to keep up with your usual way of life, so I echo what Suz said: it’s less about the clothes and more about not being able to do what you like. Even so, get a couple of pairs of pants that fit and look great.

Staysfit

Veteran

I’m sorry so many have had similar experiences and am feeling hopeful that once I recover, I too may be able to lose some or all of the weight gained and wear my clothes again. I will take some time this weekend to assess what fits now, and figure out what pieces I might add to create a minimal and serviceable capsule for the season. I love the idea of a roomy sweater dress and elastic waistbands also sound good at the moment.

Angie must be reading my mind because I ordered two new eyeglass frames this month (from Lafont and Morel).

Lisa

Veteran

Sorry to hear about the injury and weight gain. I had foot surgery years ago and it was really hard to be patient during a long recovery.

I did as many others already suggested, I focused on bottoms that fit me at the time while I recovered. I do NOT wear skirts, but my foot was so tender and swollen, for months. It's the only time I DID wear skirts, because I couldn't slide trousers or jeans over my foot when I dressed and it was too cold to wear shorts. So I wore knee length and calf length skirts and dresses during my recovery. The nice thing about a skirt or dress, they are often more forgiving because there's no waistband on a dress and many skirts have elastic waistbands.

Good luck with your recovery!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Sorry to hear about your injury. Not being able to work out must be so frustrating for you. I don't have anything new to add to to the excellent advice above, but do agree that it is very important to remove the clothes that don't fit right now from front and center in your closet. But save the ones you would be happy to go back to - I am often glad I did this when my weight fluctuates.

Sal

Veteran

How challenging re the injury. Well done on staying positive amongst it all - it is hard mentally and physically.

I think the advice above is excellent so I won't add to it - good luck, it is nice to have a few pieces that help pull outfits together.

Dee

Veteran

Lots of great advice from other fabbers who've had similar experiences, hopefully you can sort out a few additional wardrobe pieces to help see you through your recovery.

bridgie

Veteran

I'm so sorry you are going through this. And I'm afraid I can offer no help at all. With all the good suggestions from others, hopefully you can start feeling better soon. Best wishes to you.

BrieN

Veteran

I’m sorry about your injury - that’s a long time to be on the sidelines.

I am not a great shopper - it always takes me a long time/lots of tries to find something I love. When I have size changes I’ve been known to find the exact same pants that I own and adore in the new size on eBay or sometimes Poshmark (although I don’t like that site as much). This size duplication helps because I know it’s the same color/silhouette of the pants I know work with the outfits I like to wear.

Carol

(website)

Veteran

I am tall, and towards the heavier end of the healthy BMI spectrum for my weight.

I have a great pair of elastic-waist black palazzo pants that could see me gain or lose 15 lbs. easily.

Joy

Veteran

Sorry about your feelings with weight change . I am losing weight after being consistent for years. My pants and some tops no longer fit. I have been replacing pants and jeans that do not end up around my ankles. It has been pricy. I washed and sent a bundle of pants to the thrift store. I have another bundle to go. I have gained back one pound recently but not enough to save the pants. I blame Covid and not eating. The elastic waist is a good idea. It works both ways. Good luck.

catherine

Veteran

Staysfit, that sounds very frustrating indeed. You deserve to feel good in your clothes and in your life. Sending thoughts your way.

12