In your description of your winter outfit that makes you happy I note local references (kiwi and tiki motifs). Personally I get some of my fashion joy and satisfaction by buying costume jewelry from mostly Canadian artisans. Museum shops here often have a curated selection and I take note of those that interest me and follow them on instagram. I don’t buy a ton, I think two pairs of earrings in 2024 - part of the fun is just checking out new-to-me artists.

Thanks for your thoughts, everyone! Appreciate the depth of feelings. Fascinating as always

As a thoughtful and veteran style professional, FWIW, I'm going to leave you with three thoughts that get to the heart of the matter for me:

1. I firmly believe that fashion and style needs to stay the fun and un-stressful part of your life. There is so much horror, sadness, unfairness, complication, worry, and disappointment in the world - it's enough. Find your personal happy and satisfying niche within your fashion and style world - whatever that may be! - and run with it.

2. If you can't find your happy place within your fashion and style world - walk away for a short or long period of time. Focus on something else.

3. Balance is key. You need to balance what you like and enjoy about fashion and style, with what feels right in your head and heart. This will differ greatly between people - much like personal style differs greatly between people! We can fully respect these differences and support each other along the way. Horses for courses, always.

Jenni, I have been following this thread since you posted. In rereading your post just now, it sounds like you felt a bit out of balance with your 200 plus items and so tried the Rule of Five that you read about to try to bring some balance. Well, you went for it and you did it! But now you say: "Getting dressed doesn’t feel as much fun". I would take that as perhaps the experiment worked in that you found you could, in fact, do it and only bought four items, but also worked in that you found you lost some of your joy with clothes...?

I find all these ideas floating around about how we have to reign in...one in, one out, or whatever...while fun to take on a challenge at times...are often a miss for me because it's not actually helping to train me to pay attention and learn my balance. People who share these ideas are sharing what works for them, and gosh, it can be helpful. But it sounds like it wasn't a substitute for your own discovery of what consuming less while having your joy would look like for you...?

For me, an outer constraint to buy only five things sounds like an artificial imposition that could preclude a lot of spontaneity and fun. Ends up that I acquired eleven new items last year. The expense for the whole year was what I sometimes spent in a month years ago when I had more income, but it's balanced with my current money flow. I bought two more items, but those were donated back to the thrift store I got them from. I experimented with not buying anything...or shopping...for three months in the summer and it was a bit depressing (but the heat often makes me feel that way too! ). But it was informative. I realized I'm so appreciative of all the clothes I own and that can be it's own satisfaction (stability) but also a new piece can infuse some refreshment (novelty) into the mix. And I need that at times.

I’m awake now and wish to thank more people! Lisa, Janet, La Ped and Irina, yes perhaps my interest in fashion is waning a bit as well as wanting to limit purchases for environmental reasons. I am enjoying wearing what I so carefully chose in the past and so maybe can do without the constant pull of the new, since I haven’t felt that I must keep up with silhouette changes for some time.
Dee, Gaylene and Indigoprint, yes hopefully the change of mindset will lead to other different ways to have fun with my clothing. I am interested Gaylene that you are also trying not to purge! That has been a big concern of mine, the world purges too much clothing.

RachelNZ, and Cookie, thanks for your thoughts, yes it is a time of transition for me and I hope to get fun in other ways, just need to rebalance my work and non-work interests gradually I think.
Thank you Jaime for the excellent analogy regarding food! I will take that on board. Thanks Sal, and thanks Suntiger. Yes I am thinking hard about any new items brought into our home! We have so much already. We are pivoting towards experiences rather than possessions, enjoying the possessions we already have.
Thanks Minaminu and cat2. I have admired your financially responsible approach to your wardrobe cat2 for some time!

Jenni -thinking about this some more . Wondering if there is different way from you to have fun with fashion, and feel better about your fashion footprint/impact. Some of he thrift stores here, not sure about where you are, are run by volunteers from the charity that sponsor the shop. Perhaps volunteering at the shop would be the best of both worlds for you.

Thanks Jules and kkards for the suggestions. I am looking at buying local for my limited amount of new items, and yes kkards I think in the future I might volunteer at the local hospice shops, a cause that feels close to my heart. I don’t want to do it until I have retired though, as it feels too much like work when I still work hard on my 3 days a week. But later, yes, I think it would be fun and do some good hopefully.
Judy, thank you. Yes the Rule of Five is very restrictive, and quite opposite to how I have purchased for over a decade, but I had been gradually reducing the amount anyway as I made better choices- so 14 items in 2023 before the 4 items in 2024.
And I no longer have 200 counted items in my wardrobe, I have 144 which feels much more manageable.

Hi Jenni in NZ.
Reading your post I thought: so many changes in your life in these few years.
No wonder we sometimes feel lost or that something was lost in that process.
I applaud you for succeeding in your commitment to buy only 5 things in one year.
That on it's own is a major change I am yet to commit to in 2025.

Fun is such a personal issue, it means a different thing to different people. I have been told to have fun...
I am reviewing my interest in/need for sewing my clothes. After a lot of soul searching (read frustration) I decided that it doesn't have to be perfect , I can do it for fun. Totally a new concept for me. Not sure what this "fun" will look like, but I am willing to give a try. With a different attitude, not telling myself that I don't need to make anything as my wardrobe is full, and not out of guilt for having boxes of fabrics.
It's a challenge, and I always like challenges.
Take your time.

I hope you can find joy in fashion and your wardrobe. You have such a playful spirit and always dress with an element of sass. I particularly like how inventive you are when doing dress ups or dressing for a special occasion.

Working from home changed things up for me. There is no longer the 'need to dress well' with the realisation, that my clothing consumption and spending needs are limited balanced with an enjoyment of fashion. I now see my management of my wardrobe to be similar to my diet, I eat well to support my health with the occasional treat. I get wardrobe joy from accessories, that can add interest to casual basics. I like to support local businesses and so most of my purchases over the last few years has been local retail of eclectic and interesting pieces. My favourite purchase of 2024 was this linen set by an Australian designer who did a limited run of 50 pieces inspired by West Australian nature. It has been perfect for my long and hot summer.

I find it hard to limit buying new things when I have lost a bunch of weight. Maybe I will cut back on what I own but I can’t stop replacing what does not fit including shoes. I live in a four season climate . That complicates things . It is snowing out now. Plus with the snow that fell during the night, I will have to dress warmly and bundling up includes boots to keep feet warm and dry . Everyone older than I is dying lately including a dear sister and Jimmy Carter. It will soon be my turn and I am not ready. Luckily my husband takes good care of me. Today is a day to get out. Looking outside I am not sure I want this. I will try to implement the rule of five, but weight loss demands that I wear pants that stay up. This is hard with trying to use up used things I wash after each wear.

Oh Joy I think you have been amazing with your use of thrifted items! I have been very impressed over the past few years with how you have done. Obviously when one changes weight in a major way like you have it means you need different clothes.
The woman who started the Rule of Five campaign is only in her 40s I think and she was a former fashion editor who could see the churn in the system right up close and decided to do something about it.

Joy - sorry to hear that it is a very hard time. You have been a brilliant thrifter and you need to be warm and dressed so I don’t think the rule of five is possible.

Joy, nodding along with Sal and Jenni here. You are an amazing thrifter and you need to buy what you need to keep yourself warm and comfortable and safe!

Another point about the rule of five -- that I think the author does acknowledge and mention -- is that it is clearly more appropriate for someone like herself who starts with a well-stocked wardrobe! For someone without a decent sized closet, it is truly unrealistic and even harsh (I mean assuming the person can afford to buy what she. needs.) It is an excellent goal for someone like myself with a well stocked closet. (Not that I plan to follow it, but I see the value for someone like me and for you, Jenni.) It is not for everyone, though.

I have had a wander around stores on my 2 week days off this week, while running other errands. Small mall on Monday with lots of clothes shops of new clothes. It didn’t make me feel any better, lots of stuff, too much! Nothing grabbing me. Then today Wednesday in 3 thrift stores near each other- one Red Cross, one ambulance, and one Habitat for Humanity. The ambulance one has the nicest best displayed stuff. But again so much, and I go out of there feeling I just have so much already.
I wanted to see if my feelings had changed after this thread but they haven’t

Joy, I echo Sal, and Suz. So sorry to hear you're having a tough time. Please get whatever you need to stay warm to fit your changing body. Happy to help out if you need guidance and support.

As for the rule of 5 idea. The fact that you begin with a well established and fully functioning wardrobe with no or few holes is a very important bit of information

Jenni, keep on listening to your head and heart. Striking the right balance is key. It's quite satisfying to go shopping and not be tempted! That always makes me appreciate what I have at home even more!

I have watched my husband, who is also a physician, struggle with partial retirement and then complete retirement. I think it is incredibly difficult to go from being a decision maker in a practice to being a worker. Full retirement has different issues and, in my opinion, requires planning with your life partner. If only one of you is retiring then you have a completely different discussion. You may end up having to discover how to enjoy your retirement while your husband continues to work. My husband kept working part time for the kids’ sake because he wanted to have more money for our children. They are doing fine but we worry they will not be as financially successful. It is tricky to figure out how best to help because, as a parent, you don’t want to foster dependency but you want to make their lives better. Where do you draw the line on continuing to work for your children and grandchildren? These are hard decisions. Trying to do more for the environment is also another way of caring for children as it is their future. Try not to be too hard on yourself as you are in difficult transitional times. You will figure it out and feel better.

Oh thank you so much Kinnick! I think that’s exactly what I needed. My husband is only 5 months older than me so he will turn 65 in October this year 2025, and I will be 65 in March 2026. In New Zealand one nice thing is that we can get the “pension” at 65 whether we keep working or not, although I think if we do it might be more highly taxed- which is fine since it is taxpayer money. We are helping the kids financially in different ways but it seems much harder for them to get into owning their own homes than it was for us. And I don’t know how long to help them because one day we might need more of the savings ourselves!
My husband seems more emotionally wedded to his veterinary practice than I have been to mine, and I think when he feels ready he might need to sell and leave rather than having to work for new owners as I have done, which definitely has downsides as well as the upside of no longer having to manage things and pay staff etc. I don’t really want to retire if he has not but I might feel that I need to as time goes by. I thought it would be an advantage being such a similar age but maybe not. I enjoyed the first part of my little road trip in September but I did miss my family by the end of it (and they missed me and asked me to come back) so I had 12 days away rather than a possible 16. I want to go back to see my sister in the UK again and am not sure if I want to go that far on my own…obviously lots of people do but would I get lonely? I don’t want to outstay my welcome with my sister either…
Lots to think about. Thanks for the “tea and sympathy”!