Feeling a Little Blue ... Boob Advice?

lyn*

So, I don't know if I'm just blue because of other reasons, but I'm getting really frustrated and I'm feeling very irritated with my boobs.

I had a bra fitting recently, and got some new bras. They have eliminated some of my problems (the pinching band, the swollen and overflowing cups), but they have created another: none of my clothes fit anymore.

My dresses pinch at the underarms because the bottom of the holes seem "higher" ... and it's harder to zip them up over my breasts.

I feel swollen and bloated and angry at myself for some reason. At this rate I sort of want to go back to my other bras and just do it that way.

PS: I could be grumpy because of No Buy July too.

10 years ago

Body Type

32 replies

Latest reply was from lyn*

Anonymous

Is it more that they are lifted higher and centre instead of being smoothed flatter? You might have had a shallower upper slope that is bigger now the girls are properly supported. That must be frustrating about your clothes though

10 years ago

Anonymous

Oh, and perhaps your size has changed too --- are you in your 30s yet? Most of my friends and I noticed a change in our bodies in our 30s. One friend is the same weight, waist and hip measurements, but went up two cup sizes!

10 years ago

Gaylene

Veteran

Getting into a properly fitting bra definitely changes the fit of your clothes, just like gaining and losing weight does. And, as Ceit points out our bodies are constantly changing as well. All the more reason to avoid artificial shopping bans.

10 years ago

elpgal

Veteran

So sorry about your dresses. What percentage of dresses are we talking about? Are alterations possible? I would revel in the perkier breasts and find a trusty seamstress. But I would be totally irritated too.

10 years ago

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

@Ceit - I think you're right on the money with the upper slope bit - because dresses I used to be able to wear with nary a hint of improperness now kinda look like I can't wear them anywhere, much less to work! Ugh. I'm not quite 30 yet (two more years to go!) - and it's just so strange. I'm the only one in my entire family that has boobs (and we're talking about 50 cousins here); and they're all little A's. Sigh.

@Gaylene - I am too scared to weigh myself. I have noticed more muscle tone, but I don't want to know how much I weigh. I feel bloated like a whale most days.

@elpgal - well, I haven't totalled the entire damage yet, but I'm sad that my dress today was tight and it's never been that way before. It fit perfectly fine. Now I want to second guess everything I know - I don't know if things can be altered, because what if my boobs change again? Things were so stable!

10 years ago

abc

Veteran

That's what cardigans are for. Well, I'm half joking but I wish you luck in finding a solution and a place of stability and peace in your wardrobe.

10 years ago

Gigi

Veteran

Oh, Lyn, I'm so sorry!

What would happen if you bought a couple of bras that have the next band size up but the next cup size down? That is, if your "proper" bra fitting put you in a 34E (?), maybe you could try a 36D. That would flatten your breasts down a bit but still give you quite a bit of support, I would think. If a lot of your clothes aren't fitting, I suspect you will have this problem going forward too, when purchasing new clothes.

10 years ago

(website)

Veteran

I can't speak for boobage, but I can commiserate on a stable body changing on you after years of status quo. I am trying my best to 'go with it' and slowly back away from the items that don't fit as well as they used to. For me, it's my waist slowly getting larger than my hips. Maybe just an inch, but it makes a difference in clothing fit for sure. Could there be some seam allowance in some of the bodices to let out just a bit to save these dresses?

10 years ago

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

That is a dilemma. You have an enviable collection of dresses that look fabulous on you. It's worth seeing how many of them do not fit with the new bra. If it's a handful, you could keep one of your old bras to wear with those dresses until you eventually rotate them out as you get new ones.

10 years ago

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

@ABC - There are many uses for cardigans, it seems!!

@Gigi - Maybe a little knowledge is a dangerous thing! Maybe I need a boob minimizer. I guess the other things is that I could be getting pudgy. :p

@Mo - I will try to fiddle around a bit, but my measurements have changed at least a booby inch too. Possibly two. Sigh.

@Firecracker - I think I might go back to my old bra size or find a compromise in between the two, like how Gigi suggested. I am worried about buying new clothes - I don't really want to have to go to a Large. It makes me really angry - especially since I'm doing "all the right things". I know it's just numbers on a tag, but it makes me want to punch a wall.

10 years ago

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

lyn*, with your medical training, I'm guessing you'd have an idea of whether a thyroid problem or some other medical issue was a possibility. (In response to your frustration at "doing all the right things" yet feeling bloated and seeing inches slightly up.) I can sympathize with the frustration of body changes, but alas, not for medical reasons.:)

10 years ago

JAileen

Veteran

Sorry you're having this problem. I hope it's only a few of your dresses and not all of them - you have such a great collection. There are several good suggestions here. The quick fix is wear one of the old bras. Also see if the dresses can be altered. Good luck.

10 years ago

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

@Firecracker - I'm very bad at doctoring real doctor stuff (haha, like I am very bad at doctoring myself); I don't think it's that I'm gaining weight as in putting on fat ... I think it's more that with working out, I'm bulking up a little bit, not too much. It looks good but the extra inch makes a difference with the way I fit. I probably should get an annual check up though - I'm really bad with that (my last one was about 6 years ago! SHHHHHHH)

Thanks for your support, Aileen, I'll tinker around and see what I can do

10 years ago

Jeanie

Veteran

My nicely fitting Chantelle bras do not fit under my tighter clothes. I have to wear my fairly worn minimizers. Not sure of your size (minimizer usually start at size D) but maybe a minimizer or a different fitting bra would help.

10 years ago

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Thanks, Jeanie! I did a bit of a tweak with my old bras - the 34 can be a bit loose, so I just tightened it up to the smallest "rings" in the back and viola! They seem to work!

*fingers crossed*

I will check out minimizers next time I am in the bra store.

10 years ago

Diana

Veteran

Oh man. I totally sympathize. This happened to me too a few years ago. I did eventually make peace with my new size but it still sometimes surprises me (more in terms of things being unexpectedly cleavagey than I terms of the size).

You might want to try different styles of bras. I personally prefer balconette or 3/4 cups with wide center gores bc my boobs are wide set. A lot of people will tell you that if you have wide set breasts you want to make them more "front and center" but I personally find this both uncomfortable and too prominent for my taste. I recently tried a panache bra after hearing about how great they are for my particular shape all the time, but I sent it back even though it was technically almost a perfect fit because it made my boobs soooo locked-and-loaded and prominently pointy.
The find below is a bra that I DO like. It's a balconette that gives good shape and support but is more of a gentle curve rather than an in your face 50s shape. If you try it be aware the cup runs small.

Nordstrom

b.tempt'd by Wacoal 'Ciao Bella' Underwire Balconette Bra

$38.00 $25.46

Sale

View Info

Top Pick

10 years ago

ironkurtin

Veteran

Working out completely changed my body and I had to buy new clothes down to my underwear. Changing your lifestyle means body changes - embrace it! Otherwise you'll be miserable and what does that accomplish?

10 years ago

Anonymous

Also (and I say this with love), please try not to get trapped in your body image issues -- "large" is relative. You are not "bloated like a whale", "swollen", "pudgy" or any of the other adjectives you have used. It shouldn't make you angry to try a different size, it just means that arbitrary system doesn't match up to all the other arbitrary systems out there. Being attached to a particular adjective (if seen as perjorative) can be very stressful and limiting, in my experience.

10 years ago

(website)

Veteran

IK has a point - to embrace change more than try and 'work around it'. That can be more mentally exhausting. Though I understand replacing one's wardrobe after carefully amassing it over time is not a fun thought.
As I said, I have made peace with some items that looked great not too long ago and passed them on. Luckily, my changes have been coming slowly enough that I have been gradually changing my wardrobe on pace. I suppose this is another good argument for slow and steady wardrobe management.

10 years ago

jackiec

Veteran

I love Ceit's last comment here - very very well put.

I hear you on the body changes. Unfortunately I am going the opposite way, especially after nursing 2 kids. Shrinkage when there was nothing there to begin with is just as frustrating as increasing in size, I'd say. And now, my kids are teen/pre-teen, I am slowly shrivelling away (on top that is), like Mo everything else is shifting too. Aahhh.

But back to Ceit's comment - we should all take that to heart. Good luck, there are some good comments here. And keep getting STRONGER

10 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

(((HUGS)))

I'm puzzled though. If anything - a better fitting bra makes your clothes easier to fit. Could there be something else behind this, Lyn?

Don't worry. You are the same gorgeous gal no matter what. xo

10 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Sounds frustrating...I hope you feel better soon. It is hard when our bodies are fluctuating...it happens to every one of us, one way or another.

10 years ago

Astrid

Veteran

I had the same issue with proper fitting bras vs. old ones which in my case didn't do anything for me. I could have gone without just as well. My shape is so that without proper bra all the volume is distributed widely and shallowly. So the wrong bra allowed me to wear tops in way smaller sizes. I was surprised how much bra I could actually fill out with the right size and most of my non knit tops suddenly were too small. I say wear the right bra and buy fitting dresses in future to slowly replace the old ones. Maybe alter some if possible. And I love Ceit's comment.

10 years ago

Anonymous

The only thing I can think of is you're more of an hourglass than you knew! Your waist might be proportionately smaller compared to your bust, so with a bra that smooshes you down a little, you could wear a smaller size. But, with your boobs raised and centred, it takes up more volume in the top.

I have the opposite problem -- I need to fit to my waist, but that means my bust is always poofy and saggy and requires alterations, because my bust is smaller than the projected fit model compared to my waist.

10 years ago

Janet

(website)

Veteran

What everyone else said. You've been working out and taking steps to be healthy. Don't worry about arbitrary measurements like weight, because as you rightly point out, you've been building healthy muscle, which may make the scale numbers misleading.

IK has posted about how working out and getting healthier has led to some fashion challenges as well, and it seems like she's rediscovered her style stride and is embracing her new -- healthier -- physique, even with fit challenges. We all have them! I'm working on doing the same. I can now run and bike many miles, and I look and feel better, but my difficult-to-fit part (hips and thighs) is not going away.

Some of my favorite garments from before my pre-fitness days were tough to let go -- they made me feel so fab back then! But the truth of the matter is, once we find new things that fit the body we have NOW, we feel even better.

Now, if this is just a case of finding a better bra shape and fit, it's an easier remedy. I have found minimizer bras helpful sometimes with certain types of fitted silhouettes, so you may want to check them out. But don't get down on yourself for body changes. Trust me, there are even more changes in the future! You are beautiful and you have great style, so you will be fine!

10 years ago

Kristin L

Veteran

I'm sending you big hugs! I think everyone has given you great advice. You are not pudgy or bloated like a whale. I'm about a year older than you and I've been noticing similar changes, like going up a cup size. That change was terrifying to me because I had no idea that they could do that without hormone issues. I've also noticed that my clothes fit differently depending on what time of the month it is. That never happened until within the past year or two. And when I'm about about a week out, I feel like "bloated like a whale" to use your phrase or like a "chunk-a-saurus rex" to use my phrase. I've had to change a few dietary habits to keep feeling normal in check, like drinking lots of water and cutting back on sugar,salt and tea.

Look into the minimizer and remember that sizes are relative. I try to remind myself of that, but it's extremely hard when I'm so use to being "small".

10 years ago

rute

Veteran

Thta happens to me, for the clothes that are tighter, I bought a bra without padding!

10 years ago

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I've had this kind of thing happen a few times too over the years. Sometimes it's been exercise or the lack thereof, sometimes it's been a change in diet (go paleo if you want to lose most of your water weight, but it comes back as soon as you have a piece of bread or some pasta!). Sometimes I think it's just getting older. My ribcage is wider than it used to be, and I've never had kids.

Especially since you wear traditionally fitted dresses a lot, lyn, I can definitely see how different bras would adjust the bodice fit, sometimes enough so that you feel like they don't fit anymore. It may not happen as much with less fitted tops or knit tops like a lot of women wear these days, because they're more forgiving and don't have darts.

People who sew learn to always fit the garment as they sew with the bra they plan to wear with it. Otherwise, you fit it to one bodice profile and then it just looks a little off with another.

No real advice, just sympathy, I guess...

10 years ago

Peri

Veteran

Chiming in with Ceit! You are too critical of yourself always. Don't you counsel people on body image issues? What would you say to one of your patients who was so harsh on herself? Those words you use on yourself, you would never say to anyone else.

10 years ago

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