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Feedback needed - do my clothes make me look old?

Rabbit Heart

Hello ladies,
I've got a question for you and I would be very happy if you could give me your honest opinion. I am active on a fashion forum in my country - similar to YLF. I've been posting my outfits there for a while and quite a lot of people have told me I look a lot older than my real age. I'm nearly 25 but the people told me they thought I was 30+ or that I look in this and that like a 45-year-old woman. So my question is - do my clothes really make me look old? And if yes, what would you suggest to change? Thank you in advance!

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Dressing

47 replies

Latest reply was from Rabbit Heart

Atlantia

Veteran

I think people are reacting to the fact that you have a defined style, and that style generally leans towards the modest side. Many people follow the pack in their twenties, and therefore do not develop their signature style until they are in their thirties and beyond. Add to that the fact that you aren't sporting plunging necklines and body con fits, and that can make a photograph especially skew a bit older. That being said, I think you have a classy style, but I certainly see your youth in your short hemlines, colored tights, and of course your face.
What about looking older in your style photos bothers you? The idea that your face may look older? That you may be dressing frumpy? Because I can assure you that neither of those are true. You look fab!

Rabbit Heart

Atlantia, thank you for your insight and for your support! Yes, I'm usually criticized for frumpy clothes - "you look like your own granny", something along these lines. Some people say it's the glasses. I don't think I look older than my age, but because I've been told so many times, I'm beginning to feel worried that maybe the people see something I don't...

Raisin

Veteran

Lol, my own DH tells me I look like a granny sometimes!

Well you definitely don't dress like a *typical* 25 year old, but I don't think that translates to you looking "old". Some of your outfits are more modest than others, but they are very well styled and put together. You have nice skin, youthful glow, nice hair, and no *typical* signs of age. I think most people would just have a hard time to guess your age based on the fact that you dress more conservatively. You could be a very young looking 30-something year old, because your clothes say age, but your skin and body do not, or you could be an older looking 20-something year old, which seems to be what most people initially see. I often find age very hard to guess, and I see now that clothing does not always indicate age. But most people are not seeing a 25 year old dressed as you are, so I think that's why the guess older. I tend to look around the face, any fine lines etc, for age. When I look at your photos quickly, I would probably honestly guess about 30, but a closer look and I would have said younger, 26-28. But people will use clothes in their assessment of age, and most people in their 20s don't dress so refined. I'm 28 and I don't dress like a typical 20 something year old, and haven't for a while.

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

I would recommend trying to find bloggers your age and see if they are doing something differently that may inspire you. Maybe with some different color combinations or silhouettes. I see a mix of youth and older in your look and can't quite put it into words. You do have a definite refined style that is unusual for your age and you should be proud of that. Would love to see you post new pictures with anything your learned.

Also if you are getting that same reaction off just one site, they could be influencing each other. If you get that reaction among others who aren't interconnected in your life , then it may have more merit....

Raisin

Veteran

I also wanted to add, even if people are saying you look like a 45 year old woman, that's not necessarily a bad thing. I honestly find any age from 20 to 50 very hard to guess. There is so much variety and today, so many women 40 + look great and much younger than they are. Women take care of their skin, are fit, and sometimes have procedures done. So I think it's more just a matter of the fact that your style is typically that of an older woman, but not that you look OLD. You look good, fresh and vibrant! Your style is unique and you pull it off!

Karie

(website)

Veteran

I think your style is very pretty! I would also say that you look youngest in photos #2 and #3, which makes me wonder if changing your glasses would help? I also think you look younger in the photos where your hair is longer, so perhaps the longer style is better for you. Maybe do something funky with your hair, not way out there, but a few strands of a lighter/different color in the front?

Diana

Veteran

First off, I love your outfits (#10 is my particular favorite) and you clearly have a really well-defined sense of personal style.

Your style reads as quite refined and put-together to me, which is something not normally associated with people in their 20's. Most women of that age, at least around here, are either wearing things that are too tight and short, or are still in the uggs and pajamas phase. So seeing someone with a very well defined and individual sense of style, especially one that is so ladylike and polished, people might assume you are a little older because it normally takes a while to develop a clear style statement. I also see a lot of retro/vintage influence in your style, which BY DEFINITION is what your granny would have been wearing - but when she was your age!

On the other hand I see a lot of fun and whimsy in your style, and your youth definitely shows through there. Your granny is probably not wearing stripy OTK socks or mustard tights!

So, in summary I think that you definitely dress more sophisticated and refined than other women your age, but this is not a bad thing! And you do not look frumpy at all!

ETA: I have the opposite problem - I am always getting mistaken for younger than I am, because I have a really young looking face and a notoriously hard-to-pinpoint-age ethnicity, so I have spent half my life trying to look my age. I've always worn specs because they make me look older, so perhaps to do the opposite, you might want to consider trying contact lenses if you really want to look younger? On the other hand, I do love your specs and think they go really well with your style...

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

First of all, let me say that your have an amazing personal style - it has elements of whimsy, classic and retro/vintage that combine to be unique and positively gorgeous. Your clothes all fit you well and you put combinations together that are visually appealing.

I do not think you look older than you are. I suspect because your style is more put together and less typical of someone your age (i.e. not just skinny jeans and a t-shirt), people looking at you take that for being more mature. Personally, I don't find that a negative in any way.

Do you enjoy the way you dress? Do you like your personal style? If so, then to heck with what anyone thinks. Wear what makes you happy. You don't look old - you look STYLISH!

ClaraT

Veteran

In photos 1 & 2, you look 25. Killer legs! Plus a really fresh style. I agree with others that conservative can read older; whether that is ok or not ok is up to you.
I would not urge you to change-I love your style. I think many 20-somethings show a bit more chest (not necessarily cleavage) or have a body-con element to most outfits (like your photo 1). Your hair style and handbag are somewhat conservative (again! It looks nice!), even timeless, rather than trendy. These are just some thoughts...

Mochi

Veteran

Echoing everyone else to say that you have a very unique, individualist style and that is so refreshing. I wonder if there are minor things that could be done to tweak the outfits just a tiny bit to add a little bit more youthfulness to them--but again, this would be extremely minor. Even without that, I wouldn't worry about it. People are weird and latch onto one thing and determine from that their perceptions of people's ages. For example, a cousin of mine who is very youthful, has great skin, etc etc but she went silvery grey at a very young age, and is now pegged as being older than she is. I say that if you are happiest in these clothes, since you look so fabulous, I wouldn't worry about what others think.

ironkurtin

Veteran

What do they think 25-year-olds wear? It's good to have your own style, and you should rock it!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

You have a brilliantly defined personal style that incorporates elements of classic, vintage, and whimsy as well as youthful touches like short hems, over the knee socks, and funky spectacles. It is rare to see a woman your age dress in such a well-thought out way, in actual "outfits" (at least it is rare to see where I live); there is a dramatic and theatrical element to your look that will definitely make you stand apart from the crowd, but that is a good thing!

I think if there is one thing you might do (notice I said "might") if you are concerned about looking older, it would be to consider a new hairstyle. You have lovely hair - that isn't the issue. But when it's pulled back, especially, it suggests a slight "primness" that could read as old fashioned and that in combination with your outfits might lead people astray in their judgements.

Prim might be precisely what you want (in which case, ignore!) BUT if you are looking for a way to play against the retro elements of your style, a more modern haircut (to go with your funky specs) might help you. It might clue people into the fact that your look is highly intentional.

jerseyjan

Yes, that's it. You dress in a way that is non-decernable to an age. It's lovely and I wouldn't change a thing. Just as models, who might be very young are chosen to do jewelry or make-up ads. They project a non-decernable age but they are sophisicated nonetheless. That's you! Enjoy the fact that you are not the typical 25 year old. You're much more interesting than to be pegged to a certain stereotype.

Krys

I have a stepdaughter who is 26 and may appear older by virtue of her style and clothing selection. She is a very serious doctoral student and has a very strong sense of self. She chooses to were more modest clothing but punctuates her look with interesting scarves and jewelry. She is well ahead of the pack in having a personal style at a young age. I can see some of those attributes in your photos. The two things that jump out at me, however, are your choice of handbag and how you hold them. In the first photo, for instance, a more casual bag would be more appropriate and fun in keeping with the outfit. The handbags appear stiff, more like a prop, and for me detract from rather than add to a really cute look.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

I had this same issue! Always dressing older than my years. For me, it was a complete lack of keeping up with trends and dressing very classically with a side of vintage that did me in. Several of these have a trendy twist to them - the shoes and scarf if #6, the brogues and short skirt in #7, and the sheer skirt in #11, to point out a few. Several of these are very conservative with no trendy twist, such as #3. So as far as dressing it seems to me you just need to watch out for the missing trendy element.

I do think that more trendy glasses would go a long way with this as well. Your bone structure is very beautiful, but I think that it is adding - in a GOOD way - to this idea that you are older than you are. But because of that I would recommend some youthful, trendy glasses.

rae

(website)

Veteran

OK, you are another forum already, so it seems like you are coming here for an honest opinion. I called DH over for some fresh eyes that have not already read your real age, and he estimated your age at 35. BUT, he also thought you dressed in a really cool and unique way, which I wholly agree with.

I think there are a few factors that make you project a more mature vibe:

- classic/retro style: you have a defined style and therefore are not experimenting with super trendy outfits, which is (typically) something people do when younger. Conversely, many who post *online* want to be very trendy because of the peer-pressure/I-want-to-be-the-next-Manrepeller aspect.

- quality & quantity: you seem to have lots of awesome pieces - amazing! Even when younger gals have FAB style - and many do! - many younger people don't have the quality because they don't have the money/patience to thrift/et cetera.

- whimsical vs. sexy: sad to say, but let's face it: lots of women around age 25 are dressing to attract men. That is just the way it is... bodycon dresses, 6-inch heels... you get the idea.

That said, do you look like your own granny?? Heck no! YOU don't look older - no wrinkles or whatever from partying too hard IYKWIM. You just look mature is all. I would personally feel fine with that, but whether you want to dress in a younger way is totally your prerogative. Do whatever makes you happy!

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Yes, I will add on to what Rae is saying - when I was young I KNEW I dressed older and I rather like that. I LIKED being taken more seriously - that is an up side that comes with ppl mistaking you for being a bit older. (-:

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I will add that I had this issue, too...what Jeneva said...I always dressed in classic styles with a touch of retro when I was in my 20s. People didn't say that they thought I was older than my years, but my clothing choices did confuse and confound them at times. They thought I was much more conservative than I actually am.

lyn67

Veteran

I think people are reacting to the retro vibe of your killer style and do not really know their busines:-)). You have a strong sense of your own style and no matter they are thinking, it's better to dress uniquely than dress like a lemming:-))older members will know what I reffer to:-))

Sona

Veteran

Others have said it very eloquently so I won't repeat but to summarize you have a great, well defined style.

I concur with others that have suggested that considering a different shape of eyewear and a different haircut would should you choose to go that direction make you look different. Again I think the reason you may appear older to some is because you are not 'girly 25' but 'refined 25' and that is a welcome change!!

Gaylene

Veteran

First of all, I love your polished, quirky sense of style. That said, I agree with others about the hair and glasses. The sunglasses in #2 and #3 really make those outfits look quite a bit more youthful. On the other hand, the pulled back hair and retro glasses seem to reinforce the primness of the outfit in #9, making it more difficult to determine if the primness is intentional which then leads the viewer to wonder if you might be much older. It's that uncertainty that makes the outfit seem "granny-like" instead of ironic. I think playing around with your hair and glasses to strike exactly the right note would let both your style and your youth shine through.

Jules

Veteran

I think others have made great comments about your great style and also suggestions for fine tuning it if you want to. I'm just wondering if your other website is for a culture where young women tend to dress very sexy, or super casual, or??? some other slant that colours their perception of you. How do you feel about THEIR style? Maybe it's not the forum for you, or maybe you want to adopt some of their ways if you're concerned about fitting in, meeting men your age, etc. I'm not in anyway suggesting you do that but those are valid concerns to have.
And can I also say that I just love #6 so much!

Caro in Oz

Veteran

"So my question is - do my clothes really make me look old? And if yes, what would you suggest to change?"

I agree with the others that a change of hairstyle & glasses would add some modernity to your look & make people realise your style is whimsical rather than unintentional. I'd love to see you with a 1920s flapper bob - short & sharp.
What is it that bothers you about what they say? Because your answer will determine how you respond.

My favourite look is #3 - it is the most "classic" & suits you well imo. I also like #6 but would love to see it with shorter hair.

Beth Ann

Veteran

I loved looking at your pics! You have such ladylike, refined features and a wonderful sophisticated, yet playful, style.

You've received a lot of detailed feedback here --- but I wanted to say that I suspect that, while people may think you're 30 now, they'll think you're 30 when you're actually 45. Something about your look, not just your clothes, says "woman" not "girl," but your features also are so nicely defined and your figure is long and graceful -- both characteristics that seem to prolong a youthful appearance.

I second some of the YLFers who suggested focusing on small changes in hair and eye wear, but only if YOU aren't pleased with your current look.

catgirl

Veteran

Ah, such an interesting question! What does it mean to dress like a 45 year old woman these days? I'm about to be 47, and your style is quite different from mine - not "older" or "younger" but much more vintage retro classic whimsical.

I totally agree with the others that it's more your hairstyle and glasses than what you are wearing that convey an impression of being older than you are. And that's not a bad thing, since many 25 years olds could stand to take lessons in style from you! But if you want to convey more of a sense of playfulness, that's where I'd go for change.

I think you have a wonderful and refined style, whatever you decide.

Deborah

Veteran

I think it's all been said so I will ask what do you see and feel when you look in the mirror? It you are happy and get pleasure from your style I see no reason to change, however if you are not quite hitting your style goals then definitely apply some subtle change. Is mixing some modern with your retro is a goal then hair and glasses could make all the difference.

I find your style very appealing and defined and that is a little unusual for someone your age. I think your style transcends age. Looking at another of your post the other day, I did find my self wondering what age you might be, and I just couldn't peg your age at all, you just look incredibly fabulously stylish to me and age is kind of irrelevant:)

Nicole D

Veteran

It;s the hair - you gotta go shorter or longer and get some texture in there. Otherwise your style would actually look frumpy on an older woman but looks whimsical and retro on you.

lynne

Veteran

I think the people who say that may be confusing sophistication with age.

Clarissa

I think you do dress older, more sophisticated than the average 25 year old but that's not necessarily a bad thing! I think picture #7 looks most like a 25 year old's outfit (my sister is 21 with great style and I could see her wearing it). 10 is also a bit more youthful and very cute, but still more sophisticated than most 25 year olds. I think a lot of your outfits are very cute! If you want to look younger though, I would show a little more skin to have a more youthful flirty vibe, but you definitely don't have to! I'm younger than you but I have a similar style to my older sister so if you want so ideas my fashion pinterest board is here: http://pinterest.com/clarissac.....st-closet/
You shouldn't feel the need to change your style though, if you like it that's all that matters!

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