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Father's Day Stories

Chris987

Veteran

As we celebrate Father's Day, I thought it we great if we could share stories about our dads. I always love hearing such stories.

I would also ask that you give a moment of reflection for those who find Father's Day a difficult one. It can be healing to share difficult stories, so I invite you to do that too.

My dad, who passed away 12 years ago, suffered from untreated depression for most of his adult life. His relationships with others were very difficult and my childhood was not a happy one. I have 6 siblings and we were all impacted in some way by this. I do have a few good memories and I cherish them, and I inherited some wonderful qualities from him (love of music, logical mind, finding humor everywhere), but I always feel very sad that he was unhappy for so much of his life. If he had been willing to seek medical treatment the story would have been so different.

My father-on law, who I only knew for 15 years, was a totally different story. He was quiet and not demonstrative, but kind and cheerful. He was of Dutch ancestry so Angie's description of her Papa reminded me a little of FIL. When DH forced his dad once in a private conversation to say what he thought about me, his Dad said he liked me and I was a "solid citizen". That was the highest praise he could give to anyone and I'm so glad DH shared that with me.

Happy Father's Day!

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Ledonna N.

Veteran

Wow thank you for sharing the memories of your father and creating space for us to do so, I try not to,celebrate Father's Day. My dad passed away 32 years ago I was just turning 9. It until that point he had been my hero. He was not perfect but I remember late night trips to the drive in movies and lots of candy and family dinners. I remember Hogie sandwich sand Sunday morning breakfasting. I remember him drinking to much on the weekend and thinking about safety always taking the bus home and sitting outside in the front yard talking to the trees. I mean having full blown conversations. I remember the love my parents had for each other and how my momma never found another. He was a good dad. Charles Henrey Denis Jr.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Oh, sweet Chris. My heart is sad about your Dad and childhood. But thrilled that your FIL made up for this in a meaningful way. From what I've pulled together here, you sound like a delightful and lovely person who I would want to have a cuppa and slice of cake with any time at all. Hope that happens, and much love to you.

Those are good thoughts, Ledonna. Bless your heart, and much love to you too.

Chris987

Veteran

Thanks Angie for the so kind words and I too hope we get to share a cuppa. and cake!
Ledonna thanks for sharing about your dad. I see why it makes you sad . I can totally relate to talking to trees ...quiet listeners and don't talk back ....hold not those memories as I'm sure you will.

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

Ledonna, my heart goes out to you. I'm glad you do have some happy memories.

Chris, I wish your dad's life turned out differently. I can only imagine your pain. I'm glad you have some of your papa's good qualities that bring value to your life.

Me and my sister are only 2 years apart in age. My father married late (for his generation) and was 39yrs old when I was born. My mom was just 21. Yes, they have a huge age difference that you'd never imagine if you saw them in person. Mama was too young to have 2 kids, and my sister was a particularly difficult child - always cranky and particularly possessive of mama. She didn't like it if mama spent any time with me (not that she left much opportunity) and I didn't develop a real relationship with my mom until I was 12-13 yrs old. I always preferred to spend my time with papa, whenever he was home. I was a very independent child but liked to snuggle with him to go to sleep. As a young & aspiring doctor, he often came home very very late but I would stay up for him, no matter what. He used to come home for lunch though...and would put me down for my afternoon nap before he left again.

I have this vivid memory...one of my earliest memories. I must've been 3 or 4 years old at max. It was a summer afternoon & I was playing in the house by myself. I think I was coloring. And I found a photo album...with pictures of my dad. I remember looking at those photos and missing him deeply (he was at work) so I took the album and hid underneath the dining table, sitting there crying, looking at his photos. I was a rather dainty child so crying used to exhaust me and I fell asleep there. When I woke up, papa was sitting in bed with me and wanted to know what I was doing under the table with his photos. When I told him i found the photos and started missing him & crying, he told me "I knew you were missing me. That's why I came to find you".

I really cherish this memory. It's one of many I have. I spent my childhood believing my dad was a hero and I had a wonderful relationship with him. I still do. And for that, I'm very thankful. Every day.

Chris987

Veteran

Ledonna did you know there s an old Broadway song called " I talk to the trees".....i think it's from a show called paint your wagon from the 40's or 50'...kind of a sad song ....

rachylou

Veteran

There's much to say about my dad. Old world, a gourmet, an aficionado of high culture and high fashion - and too intelligent and philosophical for his own good. I remember my friend, a physicist, talking about his work concerning Schrodinger's Cat - and my friend simply not being able to keep up with my dad, lol.

I think though the most important story I have to tell about my father is this one: I was away at college and my best friend - well, his parents were difficult. My best friend's car broke down and he called MY father in the middle of the night. And my dad went out and fetched him. I only heard this story long after the fact. No need to tell me. My dad was everyone's dad. His greatest gift was compassion.

It is nice to hear about everyone's dads, the good and not so good. I don't know that the importance and trial of fathers is understood. They suffer, they do.

Diana

Veteran

This is one of my favorite pictures with my Dad ever. I think I was about 5 here. We were at the circus. This was in the 80s when you could still do things like get a polaroid taken with the bear. (!) My dad thought this was the coolest thing ever and insisted that we take a picture with the bear. My mom thought he was crazy. My sister and I were both scared of the bear. So here he is grinning like a maniac and me trying to be brave. (There is also one with my sister, whom my dad is holding because she refused to stand with the bear, and she looks absolutely terrified.)

My Dad has unfortunately been through a lot of serious health issues in the last few years, but even now if you gave him the opportunity to take a photo with a bear, he would totally do it.

And yes, I have a blown up print of this photo framed in my house. Of course I do.

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Anonymous

This is how I like to remember my dad - who, like yours , Chris, I suspect dealt with (I refuse to use the expression "suffered from" ) depression or something like it. He died 16 years ago at 64 - really young but old at the same time. Poor health took its toll. My dad was a difficult person at times, and I suspect the apple didn't fall terribly far from the tree. Hilariously funny, and reminded me of Johnny Carson in his manner , but could be moodier than anything. Because of his career, he wasn't exactly a family man home for dinner every night of the week - in fact, I saw him most between October and April. We made up for that by working for him as soon as I was old enough to get a job, but still....it took a toll on my parents' marriage and our family life.

I only came across the first photo this past year, and that adoring look in my eyes nearly broke my heart. He was so young when his parents left him on his own (16) and I think it left him ungrounded. Anyways, I miss him every day - literally, and wish that he had lived longer and that we had had a chance to have a stronger relationship. But , I learned a lot from him, and I for that I am grateful.

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JAileen

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My father went off to the office everyday while my mother stayed home. But on the weekends, he made our breakfasts to the sound of Broadway showtunes. He took us camping and taught us to sail. He was a great swimmer, and made sure we learned, too. He loved to travel and to drive. I had been cross country twice by the time I was eight. He made sure I went to college. The best part was, he thought I could do anything. He was wonderful.

Adelfa

Veteran

Ledonna, there's a movie I recommend for you--Infinitely Polar Bear. The writer/director told her own story in it, of two little girls with a father who experienced substance abuse and mental illness. It has some moving parts in it but overall it's really cute and uplifting! Because the dad isn't demonized, he is loved.

I think my dad experienced mild depression for most of his life. He loved piano music and he once described Scott Joplin as "a sad man trying to be happy," and that was my dad. But he did try. He loved to play piano, loved to cook big Mexican breakfasts when his loved ones visited. He came from a big family and he had many nephews and nieces who were struggling. He would always call them and encourage them and believe in them. He taught me to be very proud of my Mexican heritage. I was just remembering a time when we lived in Colombia and I, at age 5 or so when we went to the beach, took an inflatable raft past the waves and floated peacefully and blissfully. Suddenly I saw my dad swimming furiously towards me and then he reached the raft and flopped over me, completely spent. I had almost floated out to sea.

Eventually he left my mom and that started a long period of time that was super difficult for me, my sister and my brother. But I always knew he loved me. He died in March and I am letting myself mourn him in tiny spurts, the only way I know how. I think he knew I loved him too.

pil

Veteran

As someone who doesn't really *do* emotions, this thread has kind of thrown me for a loop. My dad died unexpectedly in 2000 at age 74.
I remember him drawing Snoopy for me on the cover of my blue canvas notebook - remember those? #He found my first house for me, but I did buy it myself. He even built me a round pedestal table to go in the breakfast nook.
And I caught myself whistling away at the counter in Menard's this morning - a trait I picked up from him.
I think he turned out OK for a teen who spent his 19th birthday as a WWII POW.

rachylou

Veteran

Your dad looks really loving, pil.

Anonymous

Like some other dads already mentioned, my dad had plenty of personal demons. He'd been badly abused by his own father, and it was obvious he had emotional scars from that. He tried to be a good dad, but none of his five children had what you'd call a good or warm relationship with him, because he was so stern and distant (like his own father). The best we could do was "cordial," but usually things were tense, if not hostile. I think it bothered him in later life, but he didn't have the right tools to repair the damage. I always wanted to have a better relationship with him, but he had built up a pretty good wall around himself and no one but my mother seemed to be able to communicate with him. He was a loyal and affectionate husband to my mom, and I honor him for that. He is no longer with us, but I think of him often.

SandyG

Veteran

Reflection on Fathers' Day is always so sweet and sharp. My adopted father generously shared my love of horses and we rode and traveled to horse shows and parades in several states, including the Rose Bowl parade. He was a sweet, generous Swiss soul who loved me more than anyone ever has and is truly missed every day. We had had a long, delightful phone call on Fathers' Day Sunday about my 2 year old son taking his first pony ride, with the proud photos to be developed and mailed to him to enjoy our horse-y continuity. The next morning he passed away suddenly, so unexpected that I couldn't find my voice for a few days. He had a good life but I will always long for him to see those photos and how my sons grew and flourished. Neither are horse-crazy so it will be just my daddy and me to 'heart' horses.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

.
Hey family ! I'm enjoying reading your memories of your fathers and the relations between the two. It's interesting our journeys are so different yet no matter fathers try to do the best they can with what the have. Thank you for the responses and the suggestions. I don't celebrate Father's Day because I honer the memories everyday with a bit of fond memories.

I was talking with my sister the other day. She says that she remember my day would talk to the stove. Hahahahahaha love lol . She had me cracking up. I swear to you. I about bust a gut laughing.

Well we don't have to many pictures but here is a grainy one I found that popped up on my F.B. Timeline. That on this day thing.

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Anonymous

My Dad and Mom raised 6 kids on one income. Neither one of them went to college. My Dad was resourceful, smart and hard working. He owned and operated an insulation & roofing company (both commercial & residential work), had some rental properties, & flipped a few homes. He passed away a few years ago, but is still very much with me in spirit.

I am attaching an old photo of the 2 of us together. He even wrote a poem about me, which I posted on FB but don't want to post here because it has my name in it. It's long, and moves me to tears every time I read it because it describes how special I was to him. I'm the youngest of the 6 children.

My father taught me the importance of hard work, honesty, and integrity. He also taught me that worry equals a lack of faith. He lived what he taught, so his lessons made a big impact. Those principals have guided me throughout my life.

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