bj1111, I think you may have hit the nail on the head with this comment....it's always nice to hear your friends insist that you are not fat - but this whole issue of 'Does my bum look big in this?' really does my head in. Every one of us has a different body type, and no matter how many stomach crunches or leg lunges or whatever we do, we can't change our god given body shape - if you are pear shaped, you will ALWAYS have a larger bottom than top, if you are an inverted triangle then you will always have wider shoulders than hips, no matter whether you are a size 0 or a size 20. The trick is to learn how to dress your specific body shape to make your outfits killer outfits everytime you walk out the door than try and dress for a body shape that you are never going to be. I have two daughters that are 7 and 2, my oldest has an hourglass body shape with solid little legs and arms. My 2 year old has the body I spent years wishing for, she has slim little legs and arms, no bum and an I or rectangular body shape. So they are both going to have to learn to dress their body in different ways due to their body shapes.
As a plus size woman I have only just learnt this, thanks in part to YLF and other fashion/style blogs - for years I dressed my body according to what was in fashion, rather than what suited my body shape, and wondered why I just couldn't get it right. Now that I've become aware of the shapes that work for me I am experimenting with new looks that I have never tried before and loving it. I feel much more fashionable now as a plus sizer than I ever did before.
Ladies, love the body you have right now !