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Fashionably Minimalist

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Can I be fashionable without purchasing each new season? Can I purge without replacement? Can I become a practicing minimalist in my lifestyle and still participate on a style forum? Big questions.

For some time now, DH and I have been discussing our desire - maybe even need - to simplify our lives...to declutter not only our physical space, but as a result, our minds. We're beginning to feel like the hamsters on the wheel and we wanna get off!

I failed miserably at no buying in June and it has really got me thinking. I honestly don't need more clothes, shoes, handbags, jewelry, etc. and yet I continue to buy. Sure, it's getting better and more thought out but I still don't need the stuff. And I certainly don't have the space for more. In fact, I may be having less space as DH and I are very seriously considering selling our house and moving into a small condo closer to downtown. It wouldn't be until our son made more concrete future plans but we would want to start cleaning out all unnecessary items in preparation.

Without getting too much into a philosophical discussion of why excess is making my head hurt, let me just say that we are looking to change our life's experiences.

So this has led me to wonder if it would make sense for me to continue participating on the forum. Meaning absolutely NO disrespect to anyone, I find it difficult to control my purchasing when seeing others showing their beautiful new purchases. I think I was born to be a lemming! Don't get me wrong - I don't intend on living like a Nun who has taken the vow of poverty and I will be purchasing some new things from time to time. But I will be purchasing based on need, not want and buying the best quality I can afford so that the items I purchase last a good while. If I'm going to be wearing repeats often with a minimal wardrobe, how exciting is that going to be for everyone? If I'm not talking shopping, what will I have to say?

I've been on YLF for over three years now and have enjoyed it immensely. But as I feel myself changing style-wise and lifestyle-wise, I'm wondering if I still belong here.

(I'm off to my local football game tonight so won't be popping back to this thread until tomorrow to read your comments).

General

56 replies

Latest reply was from ironkurtin

catgirl

Veteran

Shannon, having known you on the forum for a while now I would say you are very much like me, cycling between minimal and MORE. I buy books on simplicity all the time, often as I'm browsing for new boots or furniture. For me it's a sine wave that I need to figure out.

Yes, you can be here - look at Claire! But will you be tempted and covet? I notice that I tend to shop more as I participate more (or maybe the cause and effect is the reverse, the more I shop the more I post?). Selfishly I don't want you to leave.

Your goals are admirable and I know you have mentioned similar goals before - maybe I can use your journey and piggyback along with my own process.

Sometimes I joke that my disorders have disorders. I'm OCD enough to be aggravated about mess but not enough to clean. I'm body-conscious enough to stress about what I eat but not enough to avoid dessert. I need to be more extreme one way or the other! All the stress of the disorder with none of the corresponding benefits.... Surely that is a disorder?

Lyn D.

Veteran

I think you can absolutely still participate here as a minimalist-
Clearly Claire case in point!

As an Aussie participant I am lucky in some ways that I have to mainly just enjoy Angie's picks and forum favourites from a distance, knowing that I usually can't go buy the exact same item. Yet I can use the knowledge for my outfit choices and future purchases.

As we have said before, YLF wouldn't be the same without the variety of participants we have here, minimalists and maximalists and everything in between

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Shannon, the thought of selling your home and moving is VERY overwhelming. You're in the frame of mind at the moment where you just want less of everything - and it's very understandable. We all go through these stages.

I really like what Una said - we go through life wanting more and less at different times. Personally, I absolutely think you can participate here without "lemming" or purchasing up a storm. It's about the community - not the purchases.

You also don't need to be extreme about your decision of in or out on this forum. Go with the flow, relax into it, and see where it takes you.

And last, as for repeating outfits - I do that ALL THE TIME. Why not? xo

cciele

Veteran

I agree about the cycling -- I experience it too. I suggest not thinking of your participation here in absolute terms -- all or nothing. You belong here, for sure! Your level of participation is really up to you, and we'll always be here for a chat or a consult

That being said, I think some people have personalities that make it hard to resist lemming purchases. It's true what Angie says, about YLF being about the community, but only you can say whether you can control your purchases the way you would like if you hang around here.

Kim

Veteran

Maybe you only participate in "Off Topic"?? LOL I won't tell you what's going on in the main forum...pinkie swear!

amiable

Veteran

I totally understand your point Shannon, and I've had similar thoughts lately. My goal is to minimize my wardrobe, and also to make it only house things that I really truly love and that are my style.

I'm no where near as far along that journey as you, but this Spring Season has really got my wheels turning. Everyone is talking about how terrific it is, and how there's never been such a great Spring retail season, and all these great things to buy. At the same time, I'm not feeling fab about most of my summer clothes, but generally refuse to shop (or pay) retail. I have to be careful with my attitude as I see all these really terrific new things that people have - not so wallow in a pity party because I don't find as awesome of things second hand (not that I've been even second-hand shopping since, ummm, May?, I think). I'm still wasting plenty of time looking at things online....

Clearly Claire takes forum breaks and develops other interests, going through waves (like Una said) of forum involvement. I feel like I need to do that too, in order to not want to go out and buy half the things I see linked to (or feel deprived for not being willing to). Maybe we need to start a shopping-our-closet support group

I don't think I'm being helpful at all - just commiserating with you.

Hope the football game was lots of fun!

Helena

Veteran

I hope you will stay, as I think what are describing is a very valuable style journey in itself ... however, if it's tough for you to participate without feeling the urge to buy, buy, buy, then there is nothing wrong with taking a break until you are more in your new groove.

In any case, I hope we will see and hear lots of updates of your minimizing process ... I too have a small wardrobe that I think should be smaller, and I'm not much of a buyer. Yet I still have fun participating on here So you will not be alone!

MsMary

Veteran

Shannon, I'm in a similar situation. I'm hoping to purchase a home soon and I will have much, MUCH less money to spend on fashion, plus my interests seem to be gravitating more toward the home decor/design area these days.

But... I love YLF and I can't imagine leaving just because I'm no longer the fashion-obsessed person I was when I got here. I'm still posting my outfits even though it's a lot of repeats these days. I figure not everybody has to be out of the leading edge, right?

All of which is to say: Don't go! I'd miss you!!!

catgirl

Veteran

Thought about this more while getting lunch. I agree with Cathy, it's not all or nothing. There is room for every kind of closet and level of participation on this forum. I know you've felt and posted the same thoughts before, but I think it is EXACTLY along the lines of the No Buy ultimatums to draw a line in the sand. You and I both tend to rebel against that kind of delineation!

Maybe take a short break, or set a time limit on checking in. I am just as interested in the remixers (which we all do here) and the closet minimalists as I am in everything else - I find there is something to learn from everyone here.

Tina

Veteran

Shannon I can so identify with you. We built a new home last year, moved in in November. Not only that, our daughter had major surgery (she has cerebral palsy and had a selective dorsal rhizotomy, she's 8). This resulted in the 2 of us spending 2 months in Edmonton, that's about 7 hours from home for us. So, we were preparing to move, spend months away from home and building! You should have seen me purge and pack, I am quite ruthless to begin with but when you start to eye everything with the thought of moving (and in our case temporarily storing) it, it gets brutal. All this to say I can so relate to the whole 'decluttering' mentality. I just wanted to know what I owned and where it was!!
We actually moved to an even bigger space with a bigger closet but I have purged even more since. I don't post pictures but I do enjoy reading posts and looking at pictures immensely, and I did notice you were gone this past week

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Shannon, as you can see, we'd all miss you like crazy!! Heck, some people (probably a LOT of people, truth be told) sign on explicitly to see YOUR outfit posts!! And to catch some of your fab, optimistic spirit.

Still, having said that, there is nothing wrong with pulling back if involvement is getting in the way of your life. Even though it looks as if I am permanently signed on here -- and face it, Susan, it's pretty much the case --- I DO in fact pull back from time to time to devote myself to other interests. I tend to be here most when I am working hardest at my paid job -- I use YLF for my 5 minute breaks throughout the day. I'm here considerably less when immersed in my creative work.

I also understand the urge to simplify and to get off the hamster wheel. It's one I feel myself -- despite my massive June buying spree. Or maybe partly because of it.

Yet I also know that it will be hard for me to stop wanting new refreshers for my style and seeing others buy lovely things does make me crave them more.

I don't have any answers. I think ultimately I am looking at a sort of "uniform" for my work at home wear -- comfortable pieces that move with me, Eileen Fisher style (even if not EF herself, due to fit issues.) Supplemented by more trendy and/ or tailored pieces and casual jeans for my life outside the home.

I'm also thinking about establishing my ideal wardrobe size -- at 115 pieces I think I'm near to it. And then setting a maximum for refreshing each year. If I'm honest with myself I know I DO want to refresh each year. That doesn't mean I have to buy up a storm or go overboard.

Ultimately, my goal is moderation. Not minimalism, per se. Not wild consumerism, but not restriction, either. I won't be happy without variety and change.

I just want to establish my own personal "moderate" baseline. And go from there.

Would that work for you? Instead of all or nothing?

Vivian

Shannon, I really identified with your post. I made a major life change and move almost 2 years ago. I downsized my home and my closet, it was a very difficult experience and I swore I would NEVER accumulate unnecessary stuff ever again. I simplified my life and my thinking.......it felt good, it felt right.
This week I did a closet reorg and low and behold after a crazy shopping spring I feel I am right back where I started or at least well on the way to TOO much stuff/ clothes. I was feeling very dated recently as I viewed the forum and went a little crazy trying to catch up..........learned another hard lesson.......moderation no more all or nothing. Feeling a bit ashamed.

Astrid

Veteran

As others said, I'm glad that being in Germany I can't try most of the things on the forum anyway. And often the items are way over budget too. Maybe you could try to focus on other aspects than shopping, like Gaylene does with her forum posts? And maybe just stop the WIW posting for a while, if it makes you feel like you need something new to show us regularly. Not that I would mind seing your fab outfits repeated again and again! Some soul searching to really get behind the reasons for both the wish for minimalism and the ongoing shopping might be in order.

unfrumped

Veteran

I hear you totally, as DH and I are empty-nesters now and able to move, or think of second careers.

Also, awhile back I posted on, how would one approach one's wardrobe if one might either retire, or change jobs or location climate in a few years? How can you dress for the life you have but still be somewhat agile for a change. That is, with all the talk of "investing" in pieces that last for years.

So, I'm very interested in the good but not too many of any one thing wardrobe, that allows for change. And pieces that can go casual or business.

I think we need even more contributions about re-mixing and wearing something on the weekend and then tweaking it for work or vice-versa--things that are very much part of minimalist. Versatility.

Gaylene

Veteran

I don't think that being fashionable has to be linked to buying and showing new outfits every season. I also don't think that YLF is just WIW posts and Finds, useful and fun though those sections might be to browse through.

Mr. G and I are also currently in the process of moving from a house into a 1-bedroom apartment in another part of the country and very little of our current household contents will be making the move--including most of what is in my section of our closet. Right now, I'm working on reducing my entire wardrobe by 40-50% before the move to fit into our much smaller quarters. Adding anything more right now would just complicate an already difficult task.

I think those who regularly post WIW, WIB, and K/R threads are important to the YLF forum, but I also think those who support those threads by providing comments and suggestions are also vital players on the site. I like to think that the YLF umbrella (a very fashionable one, of course!) is big enough to hold all of us--shoppers and non-shoppers, WIW posters and WIW admirers, helpers and gawkers--in short, anyone who is interested in hanging around with a group of amazing women united by a love of fashion. Credit cards and cameras are only a small part of what makes YLF truly fabulous.

rachylou

Veteran

We-ell, Shannon, I'd surely miss you!!! So I'm biased, but still I say your experience and your eagle eye would continue to be very valuable. Also, you know, I came to YLB to be less of the creative cook and to become more the master chef - able to do the same thing over and over, consistently. I shop all the time, but truth I spend less money and have been reducing my wardrobe all along (not that it still isn't vast).

Also, I don't want to freak you out - but going minimalist can increase your shopping and spending in certain ways. Like I've downsized apartments - I now spend more on TP because I must buy in low quantities and I have to buy it way more often because I buy in low quantities.

That said, I'm big on living a smaller foot print, without ball and chain.

fern

Veteran

I started to write a treatise on my 24 items a year shopping plan, but
that's another post - maybe a thread. It keeps my buying and my
"wants" in check.

My main point is, I hope you can find a way to participate that works for you. The lemming part is hard, but really my lemming purchases haven't been quite right for me and I'm getting better at admiring whatever on whomever and closing the thread, without clicking on the links (a little better... with practice).

Minimalism is about focusing on the things that matter to you and
letting go of the rest. I have learned so much from our YLF discussions and from Angie's posts, and it has helped me shape a better (um,
not-quite-minimalist) wardrobe. That matters to me. You might be ready to focus on something else for a while, but I hope you can figure out what works for you to keep participating in YLF.

susan

Oh, how I get this! Once I quit teaching and didn't need to dress every day to go out for the day, I suddenly didn't need nearly as many clothes.....and I still want to buy them. It just isn't good use of our resources though. Now that I am teaching Holy Yoga, I am wearing more yoga clothes. Still trying to find a balance here, too!

deb

Veteran

I view YLF the same as a magazine. There are lots of pictures but that does not mean I need to go out and buy things. It comes down to wants vs. needs. Some things I need and some things I want. Sometimes it is difficult to tell the difference. I would like to hear your reasoning when making these decisions and this could give you the opportunity to still connect with this community plus work on downsizing. My concern is the loss of the friendships developed here. Really, it is no different than 20 years ago and people carried on friendships through letters. They are just as important as face to face friendships. A while back you decided to no longer participate here but came back. What made you change your mind then? I am not trying to encourage you one way or the other, just thinking all or nothing may not be the only way. I care about you and want whatever will make you happy, physically and emotionally.

shedev

Veteran

Just echoing the thoughts of others, but I wanted to add that when I see you posting the same stuff, I'm happy. I think, wow, Shannon really gets a lot of use out of -----.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Over the past 15 years we moved from a four bedroom house to a one bedroom apartment, so I don't have much room for excess stuff either For me YLF isn't abound the stuff - it's about the connections, the information & the advice. I would miss you too, but you need to do what's right for you

Nebraskim

Veteran

I lurk and watch, and never post WIWs. I love the community here and my style has improved. Friends tell me they think of me as a thought leader on style (!!!) I am not a lemming and feel no need to buy everything I love or like. But I enjoy the community here; I cannot see permanently leaving. My life is changing in a month because a restructuring at my job means my job is lost, so I am "retiring" in August at age 59. So my finances are diminished, and the need for new work appropriate clothing is gone. I will satisfy that "buying" itch by looking and lurking, buying the occasional 11 on a scale of 10, and further honing my desire for new by rejoicing in the fortune of others. Maybe not helpful for you, but this is how I rationalize my life. I also know that I will never, ever be a minimalist. That is an admirable virtue but it doesn't work for me and trying to become that would be deeply frustrating and not helpful to my psyche in the long run.

Deborah

Veteran

Shannon the answer is simple, smaller apartment with big wardrobe space lol!
Just kidding. Yes you can do this and don't even think of not participating here;)

Here's my thought. You are on a bit of a style journey at the moment where I feel you are honing and defining your style further. As you know I have been doing the same. As Lyn D says, being in Australia is helpful because we don't have the easy access that some have to the things we see on the forum and that Angie features. But as I hone my style, and it's becoming quite narrow, I am shopping less. I have been a compulsive shopper for many years but my experience with YLF has changed me. I feel so confident and secure in my preferences now that while I absolutely admire outfits on others here, I rarely experience the need or desire to have the same thing. I also love my current wardrobe so much that i no longer feel I cannot wear repeated outfits. I'm almost gleeful when I walk into my closet thinking "which of you lovelies will I wear to day" lol. I am definitely a minimalist in many ways. My home is generous in size but I don't own lots of stuff. If I don't use it, I don't own or keep it. It makes for a very streamlined existence which I love and function well in. I have also found operating in the "less but better quality" mode is serving me well too.

One practice that has been serving me well, but is annoying to those I shop with, is what I like to call 'the walk away" lol. I have almost stopped spontaneous purchasing. I now rarely shop, try on and buy. I go away and see how I really feel. Much of the time, I find I haven't given the item another thought. I do quite a bit of my shopping on line now too and again I do the same thing. Pop it in my shopping bag and review and review again. I am spending more on items and my budget is not huge so I need to be sure. The tall boots I bought recently were in my online shopping bag for weeks before I was confident they were the right purchase. And I know if I waited too long they might sell out but I have come to realise that that's ok, there will always be another pair of boots...know what I mean.

I did the same with the Katies Coatigan, and when I went back they were sold out, but then lovely Lyn D sourced one at her store which she so kindly got for me. I was at peace with missing out but maybe I was meant to have it.

I think perspective contributes too. I love clothes! I Think about fashion almost 24/7. BUT I do know now they are just clothes. For example not having the draped black Rick Owens tunic that I literally drool over is actually not going to change my life:). Yes it would be awesome, but I am happy and fulfilled in my life because of so much more than just what's hanging in my wardrobe:).

Wow, didn't mean to get so philosophical lol. Just some food for thought.

BTW, my posting of outfits is not as frequent these days due to wearing repeats but I still love commenting on everyone else's. xxxx

Echo

Veteran

Shannon, I don't know if you have been to OT, but people have been watching Ornella's house project, looking forward to her posts and pictures and really creating community - with no fashion (except perhaps home design) involved.

Regardless of whether you continue to purchase clothing or not, we are interested in YOU, the person, not you, the purchaser. Indeed, I love seeing repeat outfits because it helps me with my own wardrobe (I cannot afford NOT to repeat). But I also love home design, items for the home, etc. I'd love to see more posts regarding moving and/or decorating, garden posts, beautiful sights from summer fun posts, etc.

In other words, your decision about how much to be here or how much to participate is fully up to you. None of us want you to feel obligated to purchase more than you want or need. But help us take the OT section in new and beautiful directions. We are as interested in your new lifestyle and the light fixture you might choose for a new condo as we are interested in what you are wearing!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I also wanted to add -- instead of daily outfit posting, if that seems repetitive to you -- how about just taking the pics for yourself? And then posting reflective letters about how much use you got from this or that item in a month, and why?

As you know, I don't do daily outfit posts. I love it when others do, and I love to post my outfits when I can. I do try to take regular pictures -- not every day, but most days -- and I'll post when i get the urge, when I can copy an Angie ensemble, or when I have questions or concerns or have participated in a challenge. Otherwise, not -- and mostly that is because I wear a LOT of repeat outfits and items.

My wardrobe is by no means minimalist now. It's well within the "moderate to large" category, I'd say. Yet even so, I repeat. And repeat. And repeat.

And I actually like it that way!

Because I love what's in my closet. Thanks you YLF and the thoughtful advice of many people here, including you.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I forgot to say: OF COURSE YOU BELONG HERE.

And we all have different priority interests at different times of our lives. You are ALWAYS welcome in this community. xo

shiny

Veteran

Take a break. YLF will still be here when you return. I have the same amount of icons under my Veteran label, they are just greyed out, which I find a relief - I don't have to compete with myself to maintain some sort of community status. I can just participate when I want to, not because I have to. I enjoy it much more this way.

We're in same life stage over here-- contemplating a move within next few years. Leaning towards a house on the beach somewhere south, which means my wardrobe needs will change big time. A condo in downtown Boston is not out of the question either - maybe both and we'll split our time between the two. With whatever plan, key requirement on my list: MORE CLOSET SPACE.

I couldn't care less about a dream kitchen. I want a dream closet. Ha. Even if it's filled with sundresses, bathing suits, and flip flops.....

Simplifying your life means prioritizing what you keep in it. For me, clothes are always going to be in it, no matter how simple I go, no matter how little or how much $ I can devote to my hobby. Which is what it is for me. I'm not into cooking or gardening or sewing or crafting. I'm into this. When I took a break from YLF, I was still into this -- I just spent a lot less $ and had no community or audience. I still did the same documenting (crappy photographer that I am) and analyzing and wardrobe challenges.

Tina

Veteran

I agree with Echo re: posting about your new home hunt, I find it very interesting. Also, Suz suggested a different approach to posting that sounds great. Hopefully you can find a balance that works for you.
Your life has been in an upheaval more than once in the last year, from what you have shared. I know for me that led to simplifying many things. The latest was to ask the post office to mark our box 'no flyers' aka junk mail. That was so freeing! I' really don't have any need for household items in the near future and if it's groceries I'll buy it if I need it- sale or no sale. So that's one less 'thing' coming in to our home.

If you need encouragement sticking to your new plan you can post about that too. We'll steer you straight

LACeleste

Veteran

A resounding "YES!" to your big 3 questions. You should do what is best for you Shannon. MY sense of you and appreciation of who you are have very little to do with your cool pop of color bags or your amazing blue suit. I enjoy seeing it all as I appreciate anyone who goes to the effort of WIWs but your kindness, love of family, and solid good sense are why I like and respect you.

I think we all can get carried away with purchasing enthusiasm from time to time. When we recognize it and don't rationalize it away, we can reign ourselves in.

You should not be worrying about repetition and how exciting your outfits will be for the forum. If they make you happy, I'm happy! I am sure many YLFers feel the same way.
I'm here for the community and you are a pillar of the community!

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