Fashion versus Fashion Tribes - YouLookFab Forum

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Fashion versus Fashion Tribes

cat2

Veteran

Hi, I was thinking this morning about some of the recent strings, which I found dismissed any view other than that of Fashion, represented by a sort of grownup Clueless vibe, devoted to the competitive acquisition of new things and dismissing anyone who didn’t compete and try to win. I have always found Fashion arbitrary — why were people with no prior connection to horses galloping down Fifth Avenue in equestrian gear — but definitely try to keep an eye on it so I can function in certain contexts. But I grew up with and feel more comfortable with strong fashion tribes, who stand outside fashion and equally committed to their looks. I grew up in a beach community where we had our own look (recently nostalgically recreated by some fashion brands), and went to college with East Coast preps, BCBG Europeans, EuroTrash Europeans, Westerners in ranch wear, New Wavers, goths and punks. Each had their own strong fashion guideposts and none of were ever in Fashion. One of the things I thought I saw in this blog was a recognition that making choices to support your current fashion tribe or tribes is as legitimate as chasing Fashion. No matter what my tribe is, I can appreciate someone with a modern or a utility or a rocker or a 60s retro vibe posting about how to shop mall brands and not look like a J. Crew catalog, tribes all share the same challenge of how to make things feel special and ours instead of generic. So, I guess this is a plea for Fashion to not act as if it is the only voice that can be heard? Or if I am wrong and we are supposed to submit to the harsh judgment of Fashion, I can definitely toddle off.

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Runcarla

Veteran

YLF forum is composed of many Fashion tribes, cat2. I see, and read diversity in participant threads. It seems a mosaic and not a melting pot.

FWIW there is a ‘fashion and style preferences’ (italics mine) section on the participants’ profile page. You can see there is as much diversity in style preferences as there are individual participants.

slim cat

Veteran

There are certain situations when the "tribe fashion" needs to be tweaked a bit to be suitable - unless of course this is a strong position to be very unique, stand out from a crowd and use it with confidence.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Beautiful.

DYOT --is that a variation on your tribe's style, or on Fashion?

cat2

Veteran

DYOT is Angie’s term, but to me it would be a conscious decision to stand apart from both Fashion and your Tribe. Perhaps pieces that are sentimental or that you love but don’t fit a current narrative?

And BTW I apologize if my use of the term Tribe offended anyone, in the sociology sense we build group identities.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Yes, I recognize the phrase. I meant that if DYOT is a variation on Fashion, then it has a shorter radius than if it's a variation on whatever "your people" do.

Are you a sociologist?

rachylou

Veteran

Yes, Quite Right (!)

Irina

Veteran

Sorry, wrong thread. Comments removed.

Anonymous

comments removed

Anonymous

Removed.

Sal

Veteran

I find tribes interesting too, although I fight against being part of one. Funnily enough I would copycat forum members but never my friends because I like to look different to them - and try to shop in different places. I am pretty mainstream in my choices but I dislike wearing my hair the same as my sisters, or wearing the same jeans as everyone else at the party.

I think I understand what you mean, but I don't quite agree with your comments about the forum. There are forum members who wear mostly vintage or retro, and some who are more into casual/sporty looks, and others more punk or boho. But I guess we do lean into modern classic looks more than more tribal looks in the most part.

And yes there are some ridiculous aspects to fashion that I agree with - one year cold shoulders, the next midriffs etc.. It is madness at times.

Forums evolve and move around too so posts in isolation can be confusing if you don't know what has happened six months ago etc..

LAR101

The main tribe that I read from this blog is kindness: kindness for each individual no matter where they are. There is no Fashion, none of the groups you mention exist ... for me .... here. I see individuals trying to develop and share their personal style and receiving mainly kind comments and feedback. I sometimes read the blog for that kindness. And I love all posters, with all kinds of closets and all kinds of lifestyles
And I think they are all welcome here.

Anonymous

Thank you for this reminder of so many important things that trying to respond is almost overwhelming.

The enthusiasm and support that Angie expresses for virtually every style represented here demonstrates the kind of spirit you are calling for and going forward I am happily committing to following the good example set by you both.

celia

Veteran

Cat2 , I would like to understand better how do you feel that a fashion tribe is less restrictive than Fashion.
From my perspective 'fashion forward' or 'all latest trends adopters'(the 'clueless' group you mention)are just another fashion tribe.
Not saying that there is anything wrong with either but they both seemed based on a set of rules that tends to group people for how they dress.
Regarding the forum I see , and have seen trough the years many different styles, fashion personas and representation from different fashion tribes.

nemosmom

Veteran

I do not find 'tribe' offensive. If I understand your reference to Fashion correctly, I don't see Fashion as a reigning voice here in the forum. I have been a member just over a year and found that forum members come
from various backgrounds, lifestyles, life stages, shopping preferences, wardrobe sizes, churn tolerance, and of course personal style. Some fabbers here go WAY back, having "known" each other for several years.

There is diversity here, and I have never, ever found it to be divisive. At no time have I ever felt like I had to buy or wear the latest/greatest trends in order to 'fit in' here. Even when one fabber's poison eye is another's signature look, it's all critiqued with the best of intentions. IME everyone has been open, welcoming, and kind.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Eh. Why the need to compartmentalize and divide? I don’t see YLF as very Fashiony, quite honestly. Maybe I’m not understanding your point.

rachylou

Veteran

I like what Phoebe wrote.

cat2

Veteran

Thanks, I had not logged in or posted at all and then had the experience on four or more different posts of watching people being dragged through the coals for wanting to wear vintage, wanting to shop second hand on line, wanting to restyle older pieces, and one poster being told to trash everything and start over (and cut and color her hair and get new glasses in the middle of a pandemic). I was surprised by the harshness. I think I will go back to just checking the daily updates.

Sal

Veteran

cat2 - I rarely see harshness here - but there can be tension at times. As with all forums especially when people are from all around the globe, and with English being a second language for some, there can be misunderstandings. And in weird times like we are now many of us are under stress.

But I also think that forums are not for all, or maybe a different forum is more of interest.

Whatever you decide, all the best.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

May I suggest that before you do that, you tell us a bit more about yourself and/or fill out your profile? Then you can set it up so that if someone sends you a message here, you’ll get a notification in your email and can correspond with that person (unfortunately, group messages don’t work). It sounds like vintage/secondhand are of interest to you. What else?

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I apologize if my response above seemed abrupt. But your first sentence, which I will quote below, seemed designed to stir up stuff, and I found it curious.

“I was thinking this morning about some of the recent strings, which I found dismissed any view other than that of Fashion, represented by a sort of grownup Clueless vibe, devoted to the competitive acquisition of new things and dismissing anyone who didn’t compete and try to win.”

You’re implying a catty, judgmental, materialistic attitude on the part of forum members, and as someone who has frequented these parts for many years, I find that kind of blanket statement unfair. Rather than throw out a judgment such as that, why not address specific criticisms and explain a bit more about your style and perspective. It seems you’re pretty new around here, and I think it helps to understand where you’re coming from. Traditionally, the group at large has been welcoming, constructive, encouraging, and not beholden to one way of style. But hey, if you perceive differently, let’s talk about what it is you see and why it seems problematic.

Brooklyn

Veteran

I read your post in the same way as Janet. Like her, I didn’t understand it, as I also don’t see YLF as particularly fashiony. I think most people here are very thoughtful about their style choices and not engaged in chasing the latest look. Eg there is an oldies but goodies challenge going on at the moment, and lots of people are into it.

As Sal mentions, sometimes there is tension. That’s to be expected when people are expressing opinions. I do think you have to be a little robust to participate in a forum. Sometimes putting your preferences out there (particularly if you also post photos) can be challenging. And it can be hard not to take a different preference personally, especially if you find yourself in a minority. You have to be up for some diversity and disagreement, that’s the nature of a forum.

One of the reasons I joined YLF rather than another fashion forum that will remain nameless is that I saw a thread on that forum where several women lamented the fact that women over 40 often wear boots in an effort to look trendy and commented on how tragic they looked. I never ever see that sort of self congratulatory nastiness here. The overwhelming culture here is supportive and kind.

(And a big thumbs up to what LAR101 said.)

Anonymous

Haha- the hair comment must have been from me . I think you need to understand the context and extensive history , AND the dynamics of the people involved before jumping to conclusions . The pandemic , btw , is having different ramifications for all of us . Hair salons are wide open where I live . Is this a trolling post perhaps designed to stir up controversy ?

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Huh? Too early and not enough coffee to fully process this thread but no one has ever been anything but kind to me when I wear vintage, primarily shop second hand, chose to go grey 8 years ago before it was very common, cut all my hair off, etc.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

LisaP, I wondered if that referred to a comment you made to me. If you had said “cut off all that old lady hair” out of the blue, it would’ve been offensive, but that isn’t what you said at all—you mentioned it as one way to pursue a certain style, if that was what I was interested in. Very appropriate and appreciated. Not like the “ohh, this is the high wire—very dangerous—don’t try this at home!” vibe of some other comments on that thread.

Janet, you mean you want her to list the specific threads she’s referring to? I think her point is the general pattern, not going into the weeks on each individual one.

Cat2, you probably saw in some of my threads that people around here can take themselves and their Fashion very seriously. I try to avoid all the pathos. Whenever I start working again, I will probably need serious help parsing unwritten dress codes. What I wear is important to me for events like weddings or giving presentations, but generally, if I don’t like what I have on, I can change it as soon as I get home. Not a big deal to me. But yeah, being flip about it like that can really upset some people, as I’ve been reminded.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Well I had to Google what Clueless was even about! I knew it was an old movie but I have never seen it. My girls were only 4 and 1 when it came out so I guess I was too old and they were too young.
I think I know what you mean about Fashion. I think it can speak here sometimes, but not that much. Mostly this forum has shall I say “ordinary” women from various walks of life who are interested in how they present themselves and are indeed mostly kind. You might have just happened upon a few harsher threads almost by bad luck.
I don’t think I belong to any tribe myself. Is a conventional white middle class (WASP in this case) woman a tribe at all?
Cheers, I hope you stay.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

JennieNZ, absolutely that’s a tribe, but it generally doesn’t recognize itself as such. White values are assumed to be universal and to apply to everyone equally. A philosopher friend of mine has written, for example, on how formation of the subject is assumed to take place in conditions of freedom which do not exist for everyone equally; those other peoples situations are not taken into account in determining what “really” happens in a “normal” situation. I know white is just one of the descriptors you used; I think the same thing applies to the others as well—strong tribe, doesn’t recognize itself as such, claims universality.

Synne

Veteran

Well, then, honored to be part of your tribe, Jenni! I'd love to dive into your wardrobe.

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

It’s rather amusing to see a new visitor leap in and take offense that people on a fashion forum like fashion and style and have opinions on it. I agree with LisaP that this “controversy” seems quite manufactured.

I find that YLF offers conversation, not validation, and support but not coddling.

For other sh*t, there’s Reddit

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Ummlila, I agree with you that most of the time, most people like to hear interest in their ideas and are pleased to talk about them further—but check out my recent post on dresses and skirts. Some people are definitely *not* here for conversation, don’t even want to further explain ideas they’ve put out there themselves.

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