Fashion paralysis - YouLookFab Forum

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Fashion paralysis

Debbie

Veteran

Does anyone ever feel like they are stuck and can’t seem to move forward.
I don’t want new clothes. i need them and I can’t seem to find anything. I had a few minutes on Thursday so I went to the Loft I did buy a Spring shirt but that was it and it’s too cold to wear it now. I have enough black work clothes for right now. I need things to wear outside of work.

My husband and I had date night last night and I had a hard time finding something in the closet. Just can’t seem to find anything. I am going to try to get to Banana Republic this week.

I am not against online ordering and I am open to suggestions to jump start me. It’s starting to depress me.

I posted a picture so you could get an idea of what I am wearing.

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25 replies

Latest reply was from Debbie

CarolS

Veteran

I can certainly relate to not wanting to shop, and I know all too well the frustration of not being able to pull together a fun outfit for an evening out. My overriding reason for not shopping has been weight and just being unable to find clothes that fit or look good to me. You didn't mention why you're feeling this way, but I find that understanding what's behind my behaviour helps me see a path through more clearly.

It looks like you've been around the forum for a while, so you don't need me to tell you that looking at how others navigate fashion can be very inspiring. What have you loved in the past? Who are you becoming at this stage in your life, and how might you want to express her?

Having a goal or plan certainly helps me -- maybe it might help you as you move forward too?

I wish you an enjoyable journey back!

CarolS

Veteran

Wow, that colour looks beautiful with your skin tone.

Joy

Veteran

I can relate to your paralysis. I don’t buy when shopping because the quality is so awful and I am feeling my way with new style challenges, so it is hard to know what will work. My plan is to really start paying attention to Angie picks since they are quality.

Debbie

Veteran

I agree Joy. I am going to try and concentrate on transition and Spring pieces and just limp along for now.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

For now can you try changing up scarves or jewelry? Layers? I wore my usual silver jewelry today but walked into a new to me store with lots of necklaces with multiple large stone or glass beads. I realized how much more impactful it would be to wear a similar necklace that I had at home. When I got home I put on the necklace and took a photo to help me remember to try that combination next time.

Jane

Veteran

The deep pink colour is stunning on you.

Yes sometimes I do feel utterly stuck particularly when a brand I like doesn’t have attractive to me clothes.

I tend to then commit to going to a single store, make friends with a friendly looking SA and just try on stuff. To get my eye in again really and have fun.

rachylou

Veteran

That’s totally happened to me - and was the case more often than not last year. I felt like I had a version of most things on offer and nothing was that exciting. Same black boots, same slip on sneaks, same knit tops, same suede block heel pumps, same sheath dress in a contemporary floral. I probably wasn’t looking close enough, but it’s hard to pick something out of a mountain of stuff to try. Also, it doesn’t help that all stores are now Ross. Not that I don’t like Ross, but it’s a little crazy to drive to one Ross and then another and then another...

Bijou

Veteran

Debbie I love the raspberry colour of your sweater on you. Don't settle for something average, wait until you find what you love. There are lots of new items coming into the stores, so the range should be good. Angie's BR blue jacket is so pretty and it also comes in white - if I was looking for a fun piece to wear right now with denim, that would be it.

April

Veteran

Nice to see Debbie and Mr. Debbie! (I assume that's not a random stranger you met while out with your husband...)

An idea for kickstarting your enthusiasm: go through Angie's 5 recent trend posts and pick *one* item you respond positively to. Don't overthink it. Then make a goal of finding one of those items and adding it to your wardrobe.

Helena

Veteran

Well you LOOK gorgeous - as others have noted, that colour is amazing. I was going to suggest playing with your accessories too ... And there is always the hair, makeup, manicure trifecta that can help with a slump. I like April's suggestion too!

Runcarla

Veteran

I’m with Joy on the lack of quality at retail, and then trying to find the colour you want if it is outside the popular trends. Styling yourself can be hard but that is the creative challenge. I, too, am paying more attention to Angie’s picks these days.

Anonymous

That's a great color! Are you having trouble because things are worn out and need replacement, or (like me) neglect the weekend wear because it's such a small part of your life? Are you happy with your daily wear, and can wear some of those pieces on weekends- remixed with fun new things? Or focus on building a small mix and match weekend capsule?

RobinF

Veteran

I can definitely relate. I like April's idea of choosing one item from Angie's trends. Also suntiger's suggestion of a small weekend capsule.

Anonymous

I understand this feeling all too well. From years and years of trying to "fix" these slumps by buying a bunch of stuff and then regretting most of it , I'm trying to dig a little deeper and get to the real root of the issue. Which usually has nothing to do with clothing at all. I go at that issue or feeling first. We can all say - get a hair cut, add a scarf, buy a new lipstick, blah blah blah, but we know all that stuff . I'm all for trying something other than buying new clothes to spark your spirit, and THEN buy a few things only when you see something fantastic. But what do I know ?

Cardiff girl

Veteran

I think it’s a low point in the Year fashion wise right about now so I am not surprised that you are feeling alittle uninspired.You have good advice already which I would echo,don’t rush into purchasing ,try different makeup,new hairstyles (you have lovely hair)and currently owned accessories to ring the changes whilst prehaps pulling together some ideas about how you would like to dress .Mood boards,Pinterest and magazines to stimulate your creativity.Also the archives here can be a good resource.I hope this helps.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Debbie, you look pretty in that shade of orchid.

It can all be soooo overwhelming, I know! We can help you. Let's take it one category at a time. Shall we start with bottoms?

Or fly down to Seattle, and we can shop together again

cindysmith

Veteran

I'm kind of stuck right now, too. I can't think of a single thing to buy right now. Of course, I'm also staring my credit card payments into he eyes and they're scaring me. Hopefully, something will break on the job front soon and I can start knocking out those balances. Maybe by then, I'll feel inspired to buy myself something as a reward for adulting LOL

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Maybe start with a closet edit and see what you feel is missing?

It's great to see you, and I agree that sweater is beautiful on you. Your hair has gotten so long and it looks pretty! Playing with different hair styles--wearing it up in different ways, for example--might give you some style inspiration, too. Or going for a shaggy cut or something, if you're feeling ready for a little change.

I actually think this era of Do Your Own Thing is a little intimidating. It was a bit easier for me when, say, lots of YLF forum members were jumping on the bandwagon of a certain trend (like how many had Kut Catherine bf jeans? or Eileen Fisher harem pants? or the infamous "butt vest" skirted leggings?), and I could get inspired to get on that wagon, too. I let many of the bandwagons pass me by, but it was fun to see a lot of different people here sporting the same trends.

Joyce

(website)

Debbie, I think Angie's idea of a shopping outing is a good one. A friend who's taste you can trust and who's honesty will be well received might help on a day out looking and trying on. But, I am also with the others, a good closet clean from top to bottom including try on might help identify what you need and why what you have is or isn't working.
It doesn't seem to be a good shopping time in the stores, only the sale dregs from winter left which might be adding to your frustration.
It took us a while to gather a wardrobe that we feel isn't working so too it takes time to find a goal and rebuild. Happy hunting.

Debbie

Veteran

Thank you everyone. I am glad I am not the only on that has this problem.
I am definitely going to do a closet clean out and see.
I am off a Wednesday so I am going to go try on some pants and see how that goes.
Angie I wish I could fly to Seattle right now. You are right bottoms is the place to start. I know I need jeans but no black pants. I did order a top from Ann Taylor today. We’ll see how that works out.
Thank-you again it’s good to be back.

Gigi

Veteran

When I'm feeling like this, I sometimes browse through the Finds section of the YLF site. It lets me see what's in everyone's closets, and sometimes I see something that sparks my interest.

If I have any celebrity style icons, I google them and see what images come up.

I like April's idea of looking at Angie's old trends posts too. I think anywhere that you can access a lot of up-to-date outfits would be helpful. I find that that is what gets my creative juices flowing. I hope you will hit upon something that piques your interest.

taylor

Veteran

Awe, hang in there Debbie, spring will be here soon ! Wish I could meet you in Seattle!

slim cat

Veteran

Maybe there is a TV show, a movie or a book to get you inspired and more interested in clothes again. Sometimes the look from the favorite show starts new trend for you, or just brings more fun/energy into every day life.
Are there any interesting art exhibitions/museums you'd like to visit ? Something visually stimulating.
You look lovely in that cherry/orchid color.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Yes, until i looked into a full length mirror and actually saw what other saw. You look pulled together maybe a few accessories but you look great

Debbie

Veteran

Tonight I am going to try on pants at a couple of stores. I will post results. One thing I do not need is blue and white striped tops.

I really appreciate all the support and will keep you posted.