Fashion Dilema - YouLookFab Forum

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Fashion Dilema

mummy2thea

Hi Everyone - I am new to this site and this is my first post, so hope I am doing things right!

I am stuck in a fashion rut big time! I always seems to be buying some new piece of clothing, but never seem to have anything to wear! I am sure loads of people say the same thing. I am so bad at putting outfits together, and can spend ages trying to decide what to wear even for a normal day. I had a baby last year so I don't have as much time to shop or experiment putting new styles together. I also spend a lot of time at home or running after the baby so I need to be comfortable. I constantly compare myself to other people thinking they look better than me, particularly other mummies! It is really getting me down! I have also recently moved to another country and trying to get used to different way of live here, different climate etc.
Sorry for the self indulgent post! Anyway I thought getting that off my chest might help and I hope that by posting here and getting some reassurance on outfits might help.

General

16 replies

Latest reply was from mummy2thea

Louise

Veteran

First things first what is your body shape? You can post a piccie of you in form fitting clothes you can blank out your face if you feel more comfortable then once we know your bodyshape we can get the ball rolling.
Here's a couple of links to Angie's blog posts on wardroble essentials and mom on the go outfits.
http://youlookfab.com/2008/02/.....ssentials/

http://youlookfab.com/2008/07/.....-outfit-1/

http://youlookfab.com/2008/07/.....-outfit-2/

http://youlookfab.com/2008/08/.....-outfit-3/

Never fear sweetpea we'll get you feeling fab in no time x

Louise

Veteran

I note your in Dubai is it hot there? if so this one might help too
http://youlookfab.com/2009/05/.....-the-heat/

mummy2thea

I have quite a boyish figure pretty much stright up and down with wider shoulders. I will attempt to add link to picture, in which I am wearing a bikini so you can see my shape. I am living in Dubai so yes it is pretty hot which makes things a bit harder. I spend most of my time indoors and the a/c is freezing so i often need an extra layer that I can throw in my bag incase I get too cold.

http://i196.photobucket.com/al.....day024.jpg

I am great at picking out clothes for other people and know what looks good but when it comes to me I just don't know what to do anymore lol! I think I am fed up wasting money on stuff I don't wear and not working I feel bad spending money on myself.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Do not throw out any ofyour old clothes.

Have you tried a swishing party, wear people bring along things they love but do not wear and sway them with their friends. I think this may be great for you.

I also like to have my friends look at the pieces in my wardrobe and ask them how they would wear them? They often pair a top with a skirt in a way I would never of thought of ect.

I know how hard it is when you move to a new country. It has taken 10 years for me to make Scotland my home and has taken a lot of hard work. I found the first two years the hardest.

I am looking forward to seeing some of your posts in the future

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Sorry about the spelling, posting with a baby on your knee is not easy.

mummy2thea

Scotland is where I am from! I like where we live but I am still trying to fit in!
your idea sounds good but I don't have very many friends here, and I don't think the people I know would do that sort of thing. Might give it a try when I go home on holiday though.
My biggest problem is I don't have enough "staples" like the basic items that everyone needs. When I go shopping I am a bit all over the place and don't know what I am looking for. My husband bought me a day with a persoonal stylist earlier in the year, I told him it was great but if I am honest she was completely impractical, picking out huge heels as day wear and telling me not to dress down simply because I had a baby (hmm get in the real world lovely).
I will get a few pictures on and everyone can tell me what they think. Thanks for your responses so far ladies.

mummy2thea

yeah another mummy!! Mine is in bed hence allowing me time to get on the internet! lol!

April

Veteran

Welcome M2T! I completely understand what you're saying. It takes a long, slow effort to make a closet of individual items come together into a wardrobe. I had the same experience after finding this site (see http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....ing-pieces) but have recently found things coalescing.

What is responsible for this? Well, a couple of things. One is recognizing your style and culling out the things that don't match up with it. For example, I found I had a number of boho-style items that looked great all by themselves but that did not make me feel fab when I wore them. Boho is a beautiful style (see http://youlookfab.com/2009/06/.....ian-style/ ), but it took me time to realize that it's not *my* style, so over time I weeded out those things.

Another important factor is that it's less interesting to buy those white camis and get trousers altered than it is to shop for amazing stand-alone pieces. There's not much excitement in filling in the gaps with "supporting actors," while everybody enjoys finding the wardrobe stars. Problem is, those stars don't work without the supporting actors. Get the white camis and you'll find the other things coming together.

Third thing: give yourself time and don't give up. Angie was so right about this! Stick around here and keep reading, and over time you'll find it has happened.

Glad you've joined us. Angie is away until the 19th, but you'll find she's full of great advice and she'll be glad to "meet" you when she's back.

JewelryGirl

I 2nd April & others comments here! Give yourself time & keep scouring this site and posting things for feedback. There's a wealth of information and great advice with Angie & the forum members here! I went through a similar thing when I started. I felt like I had an entire closet full of "orphans" what I have found that works for me is that I love solid color basics - the "staples" as you referred to them (cami's, cardi's, bremuda shorts, pants, etc.). Then, I jazz my looks up with fun jewelry-statement & signature pieces, killer shoes, and awesome skinnny belts. It's sort of like adult garanimals for me because I try now very hard to get pieces that work with other things in my closet & I can recognize (most of the time now) when I am buying or wanting an orphan (it tends to only go with 1 or 2 things in my closet). You will get there! Give yourself some time, I know it can be extremely overwhelming at first! I think once you get the basic "staples" down things come together & it's easy to bridge out from there. WELCOME!!

Debora

Veteran

Hi M2T, Welcome! You and your daughter are beautiful!

You've come to the right place. This is a wonderful community with supportive members who can help guide you through this new phase of your life. There are many young mothers on this forum who are experiencing similar style challenges. Angie has really created a unique environment of caring ladies across the globe.

Your situation has really resonated with me. My husband was in the military and we moved fairly frequently (14 times in 25 years). We moved overseas twice, once when our daughter was 2 yrs old and then again, years later, when our son was only 8 weeks old. It can be overwhelming at first to be in a strange country without your support system of family and friends, especially with young children. Try not to be too hard on yourself, you are very brave and not everyone could do what you are doing. It will help if you can seek out other young mothers. I always found that my children were my biggest asset when living abroad. Language and cultural barriers just seemed to fall away.

Good luck to you and I hope we continue to hear from you!

anne

Veteran

Just wanted to say that while I am not sure what body type you are (hard to tell because your shoulder line is changed by holding your child), you look very slim and lovely (and I wouldn't say boyish and up and down at all)

Kyle

Veteran

Maybe it would be easier if you broke it down into bite-size chunks to make it less overwhelming.

So, for example, you might start by working with what you already have in your closet to put together a few solid outfits you love for a specific purpose -- maybe like being a busy mom out and about with your baby -- or another ensemble for a night out on the town. These outfits would become "go-to" outfits you can always count on. The forum is a great place to get inspiration and ideas by reading posts and looking at pictures.

Anonymous

I would also have to say that you do not look boyish, you look quite hourglass to me. You are so beautiful and your baby is so beautiful too. The years of having small children are quite the challenge. I remember them well! Hang in there and enjoy that beautiful beach, you lucky thing!
You look amazing in a bikini so I do not think you are difficult to dress, you'll look good in anything really. Enjoy this time of your life.
Reading this forum will help immensely. It does take time for it all to soak in and for the wardrobe to change. You have gotten great advice from the ladies so far. Angie and Greg have created a wonderful place for us all to learn. Welcome!

mummy2thea

I have to say I am pretty overwelmed with all the replies and the fact that you have all taken the time to give such good advice. Thank you all so much. I only wish I had found this site sooner! lol!
On the advice of a friend I went to a taylors 2 weeks ago and got a few day time dresses made, I thought it would be easier to throw on a dress than always putting together pants and tops etc. I went for a few tunic style dresses that can be worn alone or pulled in with a belt. I picked them up yesterday and I am still a bit unsure what I think. I guess its experimental picking out fabrics and having them made into dresses and easy to get wrong. One of them I am sure I won't wear but the others might be ok once I sort accessories.
The state of my wardrobe is the result of a year of living somewhere without access to decent shops and then a year of being pregnant and pre-baby blues. Also now we are a one income family I have to be careful not to go crazy with buying things. I guess I am in such a hurry to feel good about what I am wearing that I almost panic buy and pick the wrong things.
I am sure like April said I need to fill in the gaps and evenutally I will get there.
So thanks again for all the advice so far and I will keep reading and getting as much info from here as possible. Look out for my frantic posts lol!

Sihaya

Veteran

M2T - not to worry. We are here to help you. You look gorgeous with a hot body! I am with Kyle - if you can post a few outfits - just start simply and perhaps with focus on one area - such as dresses or bottoms or tops - we can work with you on them. I know how hard it is to start afresh in a new country - it takes a long time. Been there, done that. All the best.

mummy2thea

I have started another post with an outfit I wore today to see what you all think. I don't wear skirts very often, I tend to favour jeans and wearing skinnies quite a lot. I will take some pics over the next few days and add them too. I am really encouraged by all the advice so far.