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Fashion Bulimia?

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Not to be insensitive to those with the actual medical condition, but I wonder sometimes when I read about all our gung ho purge posts. Do we then gorge buying new fresh replacements, only to purge again the next season? And if so, is this what we consider part of the fashion cycle or is it something deeper, akin to the actual physical condition?
I am happy to only keep what works for me in my closet, but am wary of the PURGE/BUY/PURGE cycle that can easily manifest. You?? And if it concerns you, in what ways do you try and fight it?

General

45 replies

Latest reply was from shedev

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Very insightful thought, Mo. I'm a big purger, but I do like to shop as well...I think sometimes I feel like nothing I own expresses who I am, and that's when I go on a big purge spree.

But, I often get caught up in a certain trend or make impulsive choices when shopping, and that leads to the situation where I don't like my clothes when I go to actually wear them!

So it's a downward spiral.

OTOH, I do have a lot of clothes that have survived years of purges, so I know it's not the majority of my wardrobe that this happens with. The cycle will slow down when I'm more careful about purchases (thinking about what I want or could use BEFORE going to the shops, and avoiding emotional impulse shopping).

Peri

Veteran

Funny, but I can see what you mean. But not me....it is very hard for me to purge. I hardly ever do it...the big purge I have talked about included things that were over 20 years old! I think it was only the second big purge of my adult life. And replacement has been slow and careful. Odd thing to admit to on a fashion board, but I don't like to shop.

I do get the dangers you are referring to though.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Jenava, I don't normally have impulse shopping, because I'm not near 'real' stores but I can see how that would lead one to buy without forethought.
I'm not sure why I end up with the WTF? items. Perhaps I get an idea in my head and don't try and relate it to my life as much as I should. Maybe more thoughts in line with - exactly where am I wearing this, and with what other items and how do I feel in it? - would serve me better in the future.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Pintrest and well-styled ads can help or hurt, too. Sometimes they're inspirational, but sometimes I fall in love with the idea and then realize it's just not me! This often happens with summer clothing when it's more bohemian...for some reason it's always this idea of running through a field of tall grass wearing a maxi dress and long necklaces, hair streaming...

Except that I live in the city, have short hair, and feel better looking quite polished...

Anyone want this drapey suede vest in tan??

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Peri, good on you! I used to never purge but I had an out of control wardrobe. Mostly bargain cheapies and swap items. Result was a schizophrenic 'style' and wearing most things not more than a handful of times a year. I'm happier with where I am now, since I've learned to let go, but I want to not get sucked into a 'new season' revamp every year either.

Astrid

Veteran

I don't buy that much, so I mostly purge items because they are worn out. I've purged some things that weren't worn out that I bought at the beginning of my style journey, but I think this will not be happening as often now that I have a better eye for what really works for my life and my style. I definitely don't want to be sucked into this cycle when it comes to my clothes! I'm aware that I'm quick with throwing things away, it comes easily to me. But I need to take care that I don't go overboard.

shoppingisfun

(website)

Veteran

I find that I tend to buy lots of stuff at once, then return 90% of it. Really, though, I only do this with online purchases, and even then it is generally because things don't fit right (my body is hard to fit). Instead of fashion bulimia, I tend to hold on to the items that actually DO work for me for a long, long time. If I buy trendier items I tend to get rid of them a lot more quickly (my style is more about figure flattery and looking classic than trends). Sometimes I even hold on to items that DON'T work forever, just because I feel guilty about spending money on something and then getting rid of it, even if it is just some item I got at the thrift shop.

always trying

Veteran

I used to seldom purge, but this board has convinced me to start doing more. I started with the shoes as I have been a big shoe impulse buyer. To a smaller degree a jacket impulse buyer too. Purged all shoes that were not comfy at least to a degree like the heels that I would have to stand, walk, etc. a lot in. The purge included a few pairs that I should have returned but kept because they were so cute.

Now I am buying shoes very carefully, planning, analyzing and thinking. also realized that I actually need far less than I had, and can actually get by on the ones left after the purge. But the want factor is very high,,and I will definitely get more -especially a pair of white and low heel sandals.

I can certainally see where the on line purchasing can get out of hand-it is just too easy! also we have the anticipation of waiting for it to arrive. sort of like a kid waiting for Christmas.

I now have a mental list to go thru before buying shoes-and am starting to use it for all clothing purchases too. Only impulse buys are like if I really do like it, and it will not be there later, so will bring home or on line purchase, with the absolute will return if all the criteria aren't met.

The list is like -what with-styling it, longetivity, color analysis as to trend color and style. I feel that if something attracts me then it fits "me" my style, and lifestyle, otherwise I would not be considering it.

carter

Veteran

I think it's more like cleaning the junk food out the house and bringing more fruits and veggies in for me.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Some of us need a few goes at purging before things fall into place. Also buying better will always be a process & there will always be mistakes but if purging becomes a permanent cycle then it's a problem (but that's just my opinion).

rachylou

Veteran

Reflecting, I've actually reduced my buying... but I've collected so much... well, it's a ten-year purge project. If I were a little messier, I could probably be on that show "Hoarders."

ramya

Veteran

A recent purge-er . I had yo do this because my life style, climate, snd general changes.
Moving from corporate Infian office to laid back Norway this had to happen.
Also I wasn't really keen on westerb wear back in India. And my button downs were mandatory for office.
I didn't really rnjoy them.
Also moving into new apartment I had to purge to make the available wardrobe dolution work gor me.
My breezy tops (around 4 years old) are still part of it because I enjoy layering them below my cardigan.

Anonymous

I love all your posts because they really make me think. In fact, I was wishing you would post on TH and F of this past week because I was house bound and I thought you could provide me with a task to think about.

With that said, I don't think I have fashion bulimia. When I have purged my closets in the past it was because I lost weight and I felt if I kept those clothes it would be an excuse to regain the weight. I also purged when I relocated across the country and had to deal with a totally different climate. Those were major closet turnovers. I don't regret either of them.

Now when I purge items, it is more because I decided to try a new style or new color and it didn't work out. When I try new things, I wade in gradually so I only had to decide to get rid of one or two items that really did not work for me.

I also keep a spreadsheet so I know what items are worn and what items are closet orphans. I do not tend to keep orphans. I feel that if they are orphaned it is just better to pass them onto someone that might enjoy them more.

Sharon

Veteran

In the past, most of my purging has been related to weight fluctuation. However, now it is more about style fluctuation. I have realised that one of the things I love about fashion is the continual cycle of re-invention and re-interpretation that occurs each fashion season. As you so wisely pointed out, there are only so many opportunities to actually wear your clothes, so if I buy the new and interesting item, it is displacing something else that eventually falls from grace and is often purged. I am not quite sure how to balance this desire for novelty against my ideal of getting good value and wear from what I have. I am pretty careful with my clothes and tend to buy well-made mid-range things, so not many of my clothes are actually worn out, in the sense of not being wearable from too much use.

catgirl

Veteran

I have used this term before too to describe the shop-return-shop cycle. But I have been much less prone to it since spending more for less and craving change less. That may not always be the case, but right now I am really happy with a limited color palette and defined style. Items have had more staying power in my closet. I did just purge a lot of "just in case" items I'd been hoarding - I am guilty of upgrading but holding on to the placeholder/second best item anyway. Off to read other comments!

Raisin

Veteran

I would think after a big closet purge it would be a lot easier to justify an impulse buy, or an "I need this to fill a hole" buy. Interesting thought, Mo, I'd never really considered that.

Gigi

Veteran

Interesting thought, Mo. I like Caro's assessment: some people need a few purges before they can get a handle on what's going on.

I haven't been interested in style long enough to do a "real" purge. I had a very minimal wardrobe (about four S/S outfits, and four F/W ones) before YLF, and I got rid of about a quarter of that because it was either getting raggy or didn't fit.

But I have bought a lot of clothes in the past year and can see your point. I see that many of my purchases are no longer making me very happy, especially the purchases I made when I was just starting to build my new wardrobe. I just consider it part of the learning curve. You can't know how to assess your own style and really learn about who you are if you're not making some mistakes.

But what you're probably getting at is that we need to learn *why* we're making the mistakes and then try not to repeat them. I think that a lot of why some people may learn this more quickly than others might be just due to accidental (meaning surface) factors: how much money you have, how much time you have to shop, how much clothing you can find that actually fits you. These restraints make it necessary for some people to deal with poor purchases more quickly than others.

gryffin

Veteran

Mo - This is a really thought provoking question. I do have a hard time giving things away. The last big purge was mostly things bought 20 yr ago loved and way past prime. Also my husband never lets me debride. He has pants from college. So that was the "big one." The rest of the items were mistakes. I'm doing my best to limit those and trying to buy better and buy less and also trying to pare down to a more minimal and functional wardrobe. I've also kept a list of purchases for the last year. But that's a really interesting way to look at the buying cycle. It puts it in a very visceral context! I have to ponder this some more...great thread!! thanks for starting it!!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Hmmm, I was thinking more along the lines of 'I'm tired of this after two seasons so now I want to move on to that' behavior more than mistakes. The desire both for new and to be ever perfecting our wardrobes. Although mistakes and impulse buys certainly are a big factor as well.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

Fashion bulimia? I thought this process was called '1 in, 1 out.' At least, that's my positive spin on it.

fuzzylogic

Veteran

This is such an insightful question, Mo! The similarities between binge-purge eating disorders and binge-purge fashion are striking!

Like a person with a borderline personality disorder who replies on someone else for their sense of self and may be primed for eating disorders, if a person relies on advertising (intrinsically dedicated to making consumers feel deficient) for their sense of style they are much more likely to be caught in this cycle!

I guess the exceptions are people who make their name being fashion leaders- their job is to shake it up a bit.

But perhaps binge-purge fashion approaches something more akin to addiction?

Would love to hear lyn's perspective!

shiny

Veteran

I actually store a lot of things I am tired of, as long as it still fits and is in good condition. Because sometimes it just needs a rest before I'm ready for it again. And sometimes things do come back into style - ie., classic pieces.

Meanwhile I do not have a lot of space in the bedroom closet and dresser drawers, so yes, I purge when I can no longer close the drawers. But usually a lot of what I purge goes to storage rather than goodwill or the trash. Storage includes off-season items so I do go through it once or twice a year to rotate. A that time I do an edit.

I haven't done a major purge in a long time. But at the moment I have a goodwill bag and I've been slowly popping items into it, one at a time. A couple of cocktail/formal dresses I've had for 15 years, the hemlines are WAY to short. A few coats I've owned for 10+ years, but never wear for this or that reason. A couple shoes that are past their prime. Gone.

Editing, not purging.

I'd really love to purge half my DH's wardrobe. He holds on to everything, and wears maybe 10%. And keeps acquiring. The more I edit and minimalize my own wardrobe, the more he feels free to hoard.

shiny

Veteran

This is better with specific examples, I think... like, how about jeans?

You've got fashion bulimia if you dumped all your bootcut and flares awhile ago and currently only own skinnies & boyfriend jeans, but are about to purge all of those in favor of wide legs instead.

In my dresser right now I have the "jeans in current rotation" and that includes skinnies (with various rises from high to low), a pair of baggy BF jeans, and the AG Nikki's. In storage I have boot cuts, trouser cut flares, and straight legs. I never purged them. They were hard enough to find in the first place. I just got bored of them. But they are still in my possession and I actually took them out today and tried them all on again.

Sweaters are another example. I have in rotation and in storage those styles that flatter me the most - cropped cardigans, and V-neck cardigans that hit at the waist. Plus a white and black long cardigan or two. Then I have a lot of pullovers since pullovers are currently in style. Meanwhile, in storage right now are the drapey sweaters. I haven't let them go, I just got tired of them so away they went. I also have a bunch of super thick/warm turtlenecks and nordic-like sweaters that I've owned forever that I know, just know.. will come back in style one of these days. What got purged? Sweaters that pilled or lost too many buttons or wore out at the elbows. I still morn the death of my BR cobalt blue cardigan. Never did find a replacement for that. Sigh.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

yes, Shiny, it's more than just a simple yes or no thing for sure. In my own case, I think 10 to 20% of my wardrobe is disposable fashion. Mostly summer tops, maybe a dress or sandal here or there. In my mind, that means it likely won't last more than 2 seasons (one full calendar year plus a month or so) maybe 3 seasons (2 full years+). Much of my wardrobe I purchase fully intending it to be there as long as possible. I don't think in terms of "this is only for now, and I will be done with it in 3 months" but perhaps some people do. Not that one way is right or wrong necessarily, just that I am looking to not be on the buy/purge/buy rollercoaster myself. I'm sure some ladies who thrift and only spend a few bucks on an item feel fine donating it the next year for another new to them find.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I guess the deeper question for myself is what is driving this need for new, and at what cost? Is there a parallel to the pursuit of perfection (which of course can never be achieved).

qfbrenda

Veteran

I have gotten rid of many things over the years but not nearly as much lately. Over the last year or so I've really figured out what things I love. I have upgraded a few things, but overall I'm keeping most things until they show serious wear. I don't want to get into the "bulimia" cycle with clothes! My budget just can't handle that. So I'm being careful with what I buy and holding on to what I have for now.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

And maybe this is partly why I tried on 7 or more pair of white jeans before getting the pair, and am repeating the same with black booties. I want deliberate forward progress, not spinning my wheels round and round.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

If anyone is wondering, when does something become an addiction, it is when your life is unmanageable. So if your fashion buying/purging cycle makes your life unmanageable (too much debt, no time for family, loss of job, loss of income, loss of health) -- then it is an addiction.
-- Signed, a Friend of Bill W.

(I wonder, are there any other friends of Bill on this forum?)

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

And Mo, I think everyone has a desire for "new" -- it just differs which category. For some people it's a car, your boyfriend's and your income depend on that. For some, it's a relationship. As a bartender, you probably have seen that in action -- people looking for love. For me, it's travelers, or outdoors enthusiasts looking for the latest thrill and they come to the wilderness/Yosemite for that. "New" stimulates dopamine in the brain, it's how we're wired. I don't think you should beat up on yourself for wanting new things. Just as long as your life is not unmanageable. And I know you are financially very responsible.

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