Facebook and Politics - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Off Topic

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Facebook and Politics

MsMaven

Veteran

This is a subject I bring up reluctantly, but I would like some feedback on it. I like Facebook for being able to see what family is up to as well as to post fun photos of my own doings. Tis the season to be jolly, right? But also it seems to be the season to post religious/political stuff that crosses the line for me. So I check the "hide this post" and in a few cases I've had to unfollow certain people, not necessarily because of politics. DH has been unfriended by some of his relatives because he's tired to "enlighten" them when they post misinformation.

I just accepted a friend request from a friend of a family member-I've met him a few times but never really talked to him. (He's not much of a talker.) Now I'm getting quite obnoxious political stuff and I think I'll have to unfollow him. (I would never have guessed he was such a curmudgeon just from socializing with him.)

Obviously, one answer is to avoid FB for the next year. Or, unfollow certain "friends." But I like FB and for me it is not an appropriate forum to broadcast political opinions that would offend your friends.

I would like feedback on how others deal with this. I don't mind thoughtful posts that ask questions and raise issues, and I don't mind discussing different points of view. And many of my FB friends live abroad or are citizens of other countries. I don't get much political stuff from them.

My undergraduate degree was in political science, with a concentration on political theory. (UCLA during the late 1960s!) So it's not that I don't like a good philosophical discussion. I just don't like trashing certain public figure because you don't agree with them.

Off Topic

33 replies

Latest reply was from

Anonymous

I know what you mean and ignore the political and controversial stuff, whether I agree with it or not. My friends and family seem to do the same. I would not hesitate to unfriend the family member friend. My biggest problem with FB are too many cat videos

JAileen

Veteran

I know what you mean. At a recent Christmas party I was dreading seeing a person who is fanatic about a certain political topic.

I'm not actually on Facebook. My dogs are, though!

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

I have a lot of Facebook friends, many of whom are people in my circle of acquaintance as opposed to actual in person relationships. I don't unfriend people unless they are directly rude to me. I try not to filter people just because we have differences of opinion in politics; I think it's good to be exposed to other people's views.

However, there are many people I have chosen to hide from my Facebook feed, because I don't like things they post (photos of dead people, abused animals, racist/ xenophobic posts and political lies).

I do not think anyone has ever changed their mind about something because their Facebook friend tried to explain the error of their ways.

I also think that there are a lot of people who are nasty on Facebook because they don't understand that people get offended just as easily on the web, For whatever reason, that group tends to be older people who are not used to social media.

rachylou

Veteran

Well... My whole approach to Facebook is to have an account and never log in. It's all junkmail clutter to me... I am an FB curmudgeon. I think a blog is better for posting one's doings.

MsMaven

Veteran

As a cat owner and animal lover, I admit to spending too much time looking at these videos. A chimp and a lion are best friends? Well, maybe i have that one wrong.

Anonymous

Well, my political views are the opposite from the majority of my friends, both in real life and on FB. Because I'm an outlier, I'm used to hearing views I don't agree with and if I unfriended all these people I'd have no one left! My philosophy is to listen to these views, become mildly irritated, say nothing, and then let it go.

Anonymous

I'm in rachylou's camp. I have an account but I never use it. It's just a big timesuck as far as I can tell. I'd rather be over here on YLF!

Cerinda

Veteran

I'm on a pretty permanent FB hiatus. Perhaps what bothers me most is the incivility of those who share my social/political views. They ought to know better!

Peri

Veteran

I unfollow plenty of people. As I understand...and hope this is right...no one knows whether you follow them. They do know if you unfriend them, and that is considered pretty rude, so I don't do that. But basically the only people I follow are the ones I'm actually interested in. I can scan my newsfeed in about 5 minutes a day to see if anything significant (or cute) is on there. I avoid a lot of junk that way without hurting anyone.

Now if I'm wrong and they do know when you stop following them, someone please let me know!

MsMary

Veteran

I ignore the political stuff. I have only unfollowed two people for truly objectionable content. And I do. not. engage. no matter what.

abc

Veteran

You don't have to unfriend the person. You can choose not to see their posts in your newsfeed. Best of both worlds.

Sal

Veteran

It can be irritating at times. But I guess it is one form of the Political Cafe/Hyde Park Corner.....I have engaged at times - which has sometimes been successful and other times only frustrating. I have defriended people and unfollowed others...

Anonymous

I've had to hide some posts and unfriend two family members (distant cousins). The two I unfriended are people who were really rude and disrespectful with their comments, which made me feel like I didn't want to keep them in my life. There are some family members who disagree with me politically or religiously but at least have the ability to be respectful with their comments. The only person I've unfollowed is someone who is always posting pictures of her baby and information about her business; it gets old after a while.

donnat

Veteran

Yes I have hidden a few people. Unfriended a couple as well. Religious and political can get carried away fast. I never engage the offenders .,

shedev

Veteran

I don't read any of the political stuff on facebook. I get stuff from people who support both sides. I just don't read it.

Eliza

Veteran

I hide posts once in awhile, though at times I have been glad to learn who an acquaintance or member of the extended family "really" is. Wow. I have a big issue with tone sometimes and will never understand those who view fb as a chance to address difficult interpersonal situations publicly. Mostly, I keep my posting to a minimum and enjoy the chance to hear good news. Like many, I do not engage on political or religious fronts. I just file away the unacceptable and keep it in mind when considering the individual involved.

Dee

Veteran

I have a few members of my extended family that are on the opposite sides of the religious/political spectrum from me. I have a policy of non-engagement. Unless they start it by commenting on an unrelated post of mine (which has happened).

In most cases, they are sharing posts and messages from groups I don't agree with. Facebook gives you the option to hide the poster/family member or the person/group where the post originated. If they share many things from the same groups, hiding those has lessened their presence in my feed but still gives me the personal updates and photos I do want to see.

Anonymous

I agree with Dee. That hide feature is great!

Jules

Veteran

This is interesting because it's made me realize I post quite a bit of "political" content - which to me is often just life, in that it reflects my interests and what I'm reading/doing on the Internet I live in a bit of an echo chamber however, and unfollowed the one distant cousin with very different political & social views. I'm aware I'm limiting my worldview I've seen some interesting fb interactions go down when Toronto was living in the time of the terrible mayor (infamous crackhead Rob Ford) - some people took attacks on him verrrry personally, which was interesting.
I do feel fb has become less about personal updates and more about sharing memes, links, etc. So maybe it just isn't for you right now? Right now I probably get the most out of my community group. If you have a certain groups of people (family, school peers, an old neighbourhood or friend group) you'd like to keep up with you could start a group and ask that people not discuss politics there? It might take off, it might not

Glory

Veteran

I think it is perfectly fine to unfollow or even unfriend if it makes you feel uncomfortable or unhappy to read certain posts. I have unfollowed a few people because I felt so unhappy reading their posts. I am okay with political items - sometimes I read through a few and other times just skip. I never respond but I have to admit I find it interesting to see the other points of view. I have sometimes been completely outraged by certain comments! I do enjoy FB for its ability to see photos and updates from family members who live far away.

Aziraphale

Veteran

I wouldn't worry about it. One person's misinformation is another person's holy gospel. Definitely don't stop reading Facebook if you enjoy it (and yes, it can be a time suck, but so can YLF, lol); just unfollow the people who get hold of a topic like a dog with a bone. Then you don't have to keep reading the same old rhetoric that you don't agree with.

Beth Ann

Veteran

It's so sad that we can't learn to share in a way that honors the fact that we all have different points of view! As you likely know, I have been in a ministry family for years (DH is now an academic, but he teaches theology), and consider myself an evangelical. I'm also a musician. This means that my newsfeed is like a ping-pong match between the left and the right.

I'm quite comfortable with posts that thoughtfully and irenically discuss current events, but there is so much venting --- from both sides of the spectrum, that friendship and kindness cannot survive the heat!

I post mostly musical and cultural items. As a person of faith, I do post religious conversations, but only ones that are respectful and invite someone of another view into the conversation. These sorts of articles imply that we can share ideas and still be respected if we disagree. I also choose carefully, and avoid being the person cluttering the feed. Some of my secular friends appreciate the fact that I help them understand a point of view they don't hear in their circles. Some of these friends are thoughtful posters, as well, and I glean more understanding from them.

A lot of the uncivility seems to be rooted in fear. I try to give some grace when I sense this is behind an obnoxious post. One of my left-leaning friends, for example, asked all of her FB friends to tell her if they owned a gun. If they did, she planned to unfriend them, because they were "idiots." She is a bright and sensitive mother of young children, and is unnerved by the amount of gun violence in our country -- and rightly so. I chose, however, not to tell her than my Grandfather's 22 Savage rifle is in a lock box in my attic (unloaded). It is a connection to a man I loved, and he fed his 14 brothers and sisters with it when his alcoholic father abandoned the family. I didn't, however, chastise her in her feed. Neither did I rebuke the conservative friend who posted an article against Syrian refugee resettlement, even though I support more refugees being vetted and allowed to come to America, just like my own ancestors. If he had continued on a diatribe, or posted over and over again from inflammatory sources, I would have intervened with either a gentle redirection in a simple comment, or a private FB message. I don't know if I just lack the touch, or if people just decide to cut me off if I don't completely agree with everything they say, but this almost never goes well, unless I have a real life relationship with the poster.

I don't know how I will handle things as we move closer to the election. I've felt like taking a FB hiatus before. Maybe this will be the year!

MsMaven

Veteran

Thanks for everyone's wisdom. I am in front of my computer for hours a day, currently revising an article, and a quick look at Facebook is a way to take a break. I do think the wisest course is not to engage. And hide and unfollow when necessary. I don't think Facebook is the best place to engage in serious religious or political discussions--there are forums for that, and of course email. But not everyone shares that opinion.

Some of the family post photos and updates on Google+, but Facebook is far more popular.

Anonymous

In the beginning I too thought that FB was a great way to keep in touch with family and friends. Then began the annoying posts or comments on my posts. I was even able to see their comments to their friends' posts and one person who was my FB friend (as well a long time friend who was in my wedding party) made some nasty comments about me that I was able to read (yes she is an idiot). I decided that FB was not worth the aggravation anymore so I posted that I was leaving FB and unfriended everyone. I changed my name to an alias and only use FB to read articles from sites that interest me and also for Facebook Garage Sales in my area.

Beth Ann

Veteran

Maven: I gather that many people much use FB to keep up with extended family, while I have friended very few family members. Um. This might say something about the relations among my, um, relations! I scroll right past all the bajillion baby pics, instead looking for a great movie review, or a post from Lyric Opera, etc. I don't have enough mental stimulation at the moment, so I like slightly provocative posts, and dislike airy chit-chat, although am thoroughly put off by negative posts.

It sounds like you need a lighter break from mentally taxing work. That's why we both love YLF!

Good luck on your article!

Anonymous

I'm probably in the minority here, but I have never posted pics of my children online. Anywhere. I just don't like the idea of it. Too many perverts out there, not to mention that some pics might embarrass my DDs. The online pics that are on FB are the ones my DDs posted themselves.

Anonymous

Aziraphale, YLF a time suck? Nay, I cry nay! It's educational and life-enhancing. Time well spent, for sure.

Anonymous

Agreed. YLF is not a time suck.

Echo

Veteran

I'm not on FB, but I used to get overtly political or religious emails from people I knew, often when they knew full well that I disagreed with their views. That was just confrontational, and I distanced myself from those people. Anyone who would reach out to me, specifically, in order to send something offensive or hurtful was not someone I wanted to hear from.

But I've never understood how or why people think that posts on social media (or chain emails that are confrontationally political or religious) will change anyone's mind. If anything, it only makes most people dig into their entrenched mindset even further. It often serves no purpose other than to alienate friends or family, and I prefer for that not to happen. I usually avoid engagement at almost all costs.

I do love a respectful discussion of either topic, but that is hard to find.

12