I am flabbergasted that a clerk would say this to her superior. I can easily understand why you didn't say anything at the time. I'd have been completely gobsmacked.

And I'm still scratching my head about how she has managed to progress as far as she has...especially wearing leggings as pants!

It's no wonder you are fighting a rash, Lyn. The stress of dealing with peabrains like this has got to take its toll on a girl!

A question: is she in psychiatry? Seriously?

If you are in a quasi-teaching role with her, I would use it as a teachable moment. You could do as Jonesy suggests and send an email, or you could open up a conversation about her assumptions. In doing so, you'd be modelling a sense of security and non-defensiveness that perhaps she needs to see. Although sadly, it sounds as if she is too obtuse to get it.

Joining the chorus.

Yes, she is projecting her insecurity on to you. A person who is insecure might be overdressed to compensate for that insecurity and could be wearing the exact same outfit as a secure person. Body language/speech patterns are what will tip you off to the person who is insecure. A secure person would project that security wearing anything they feel comfortable/appropriate in.

Yes, she is unprofessional and someone (maybe you if you're her direct supervisor, maybe someone else in a mentorship role to her) needs to call her out on it very very specifically.

I agree with Rae and everyone else. Totally rude and unprofessional comment and it makes her sound like the jealous and insecure person, not you. If you wanted to be nice, it would do her good to let her know that statements like that are inappropriate and could hinder her progress if she makes a habit of criticizing her superiors. Otherwise, feel free to just ignore her. Since you said she has a habit of making similarly unprofessional comments about other staff, just wondering--do you think she has some sort of condition like Asperger's where she doesn't "get" social nuances? Or is she just plain rude?

I don't think you need to worry at all about what she said. Ever since I joined YLF, I've have been trying to dress up more, because I feel that patients take you more seriously when you are nicely and professionally dressed as opposed to casual and sloppy. You look totally professional and appropriate and you're one of my style role models--I was inspired to join YLF because of you! So don't change a thing about how you dress! XOXO, Natalie

Aww, all of your kind words have brought tears to my eyes!

I think my plan of action will be to invite her to coffee on Monday to discuss some of the comments she made towards the other health care professionals.

It feels akward because I'm only one year ahead of her to give her a "talk" but I don't think it will do her any benefit to let it slide. I am also afraid that the nurses will think I also share her thoughts because I "let her" talk in this manner to them.

And I'll wear a dress.

Lyn, you are awesome! I know this won't be an easy conversation to have but you have have the strength of character to have it. As a doctor you will also have to deal with people management and it looks like this will be your first test in that arena. The fact that you are stepping up to this on your own tells me you are ready to continue to take the next next step.

Lyn, that strategy is so many kinds of awesome I can't even count them. It won't be fun, I'm sure, but it will be the right thing to do, which atones for much inconvenience. Her comments to you were absolutely uncalled for, and if she's saying worse to other colleagues she needs to be nipped in the bud, like, yesterday.

What an interesting assumption she made. If she'd made the remark to me I would have been floored, but because she would have hit the mark. I *am* insecure, and I *do* look to fashion to bolster my flagging confidence. I suspect that's not the norm, though, and why she would project her own issues through the channel of personal style is baffling to me.

Good luck on monday. Oh, and wear the fab boots, too.

I just wanted to chime in to say that I fully expect a doctor to be dressed in a neat and appropriate way. Sounds like this is someone who would be a bit lacking in the bedside manner department as well. Besides that, I agree with the other comments here regarding insecurity.

Your colleague has behaved aggressively and displayed a remarkably limited appreciation of what motivates people's clothing choice. You have the ability to deal with both of these issues graciously and I believe it's important that you do.

I'm with the others- she's projecting her own insecurities on to you. If she weren't so insecure she'd dress better herself. You might want to ask her why she doesn't feel like she deserves to be dressed nicely, but then that would probably open a whole can of worms.

Wow. I can't believe some of the things people say. I think your plan to have a "coffee talk" with her is a good idea. Not fun, I agree, but neccessary. You have shown yourself to be very mature and professional in the way you have handled this. Sometimes taking the time to process something and waiting until your head cools to decide on a plan of action is the very best way to handle something so upsetting. Good luck on Monday!

I have been thinking about this a bit more. I have noticed in the time I have been interested in fashion that a significant number of women who share that interest have careers that are stressful and critical to society (I include SAHMs in this as they are raising the next generation and that is vital). I see the art of fashion as a means of alleviating that stress by playing with color and proportion and sharing ideas with like minded individuals. Although the impression is that fashion is frivolous and for those who have nothing more important to do with their time, I see it as the opposite. It is an opportunity to step back and focus on something that challenges in a different way so that we can focus on our primary roles.

I've been wondering if this is a bit of Alpha dog bravado this junior clerk is up to. It's pretty sick if she's deliberately trying to throw you and others off. I am of the "let her have enuff rope she'll hang herself" persuasion---I think it's real nice and professional of you to set her straight--or hang her ;+P.

What I find so strange about this comment, is that I have always observed that doctors, residents, and medical students seem to dress quite well. I sort of consider it to be part of the "job-related expectations" - not that I would personally think less of a physician who is not well-dressed but it looks like most doctors I see, particularly women, look pulled-together and dressed in well-fitting, good quality clothes. I always assumed that was part of the "culture" of the medical profession, although I can see how the expectations might be different during training or residency, with very little free time or money. But even then, most of our residents seem to dress in a nice, professional manner.

Hmmm... she is a bully, and she likes to stir things up. Obviously she considers you a girlfriend not a boss and this is how she treats her girlfriends. She needs to put them down, it's the MO of an aggressive person.

I had a friend who enjoyed spreading gossip about people. I was getting sick of it. So when she called me and said, "guess what I heard?" I replied: "at whose expense is this going to be?" That stopped her in her tracks and made her think.

I have nothing more to add -- just to reiterate that this clerk is a twit and also kind of a bitch. Why would a person say something like that? It's rude, unkind, and accomplishes nothing. The only thing I can think of is that perhaps she said it to make herself feel superior. How grade six.

You are insecure for being professional ? I always like my surgeons to show up with oily hair and dirt under the nails and body odor. That makes me feel that they care.

SHE obviously feels intimidated and needs to put you down. The answer next time is , " I am going to take that as a compliment. I want my patients to know that I care about how I present myself to them. So I am glad you notice that I come across as professional. With that said, I am concerned about the inappropriateness of you leggings and short sweaters....."

Oh , but you dress perfectly, and this is just envy. As for me, I don't enter a dentist's office if the waiting room is ugly/ill decorated/ uncared for. Also if the doctor wears himself/herself sloppy I think that he's lazy - ergo don't want him to take care of me or if the "leggings as pants look" - he/she is of questionable character - don't want that either.
On a more personal note, I remember when I was 10 and had an appendicitis surgery the hand of the young nurse who held my hand during the process. ( I had local anesthesia so I remember) . She had a cluster of thin silver bracelets . She looked confident and pretty. I wanted her to check up on me later. I reacted well to pretty, as we all do.

Good luck with the coffee talk, Lyn! It did not occur to me that the nurses might think you are "in" on the trash talking - in that case, I totally retract my advice to ignore her. I think you're doing the professional, classy thing here. Fingers crossed that it goes down well.