Dressing Up When You're Feeling Down - YouLookFab Forum

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Dressing Up When You're Feeling Down

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I was just wondering if anyone else has this habit?
Not always, but often when I am feeling stressed, blue, or overwhelmed, I will dress up a bit more than usual (which is already 'up' for my lifestyle and community), and put more time and effort into my hair and make up. I think it's part of the 'fake it til you make it' mentality that I have adopted. If I look pretty, it helps me to feel a little better- even if all I am doing is sitting at home (which is rare anyway- I usually have somewhere to go every day). That's not to say that there aren't days that I spend in loungewear, because I do that sometimes too.
Does anyone else dress up to pick yourself up? Do you think it works?

Dressing

26 replies

Latest reply was from lyn*

Mo

(website)

Veteran

To some degree I do this. But for me, it's more like: get in the shower early, do the makeup and hair, put on 'real' clothes. I wait until after my workout to shower and some days I putter around and put off my workout and such until it's early evening and I've yet to get in the shower and get cleaned up. Too many of those, and you start to feel crummy sitting in loungewear or workout gear day after day. So, yes, 'putting myself together' helps lift the spirits!

Ornella

(website)

Veteran

I do. And very often, to cheer myself up, I'll wear red
Btw, that doesn't mean I'm always down when I wear red, just that sometimes red is my way of subconsciously sending myself positive messages.

Queen Mum

Veteran

that's a good thing! it really does help.
Hows the packing going?

Sarah

(website)

Veteran

Absolutely. It puts me in better spirits when I look fab. It helps me feel fab on less fab days.

SW Ann

Veteran

I always dress up when I'm feeling down, or life just isn't going well....in my last job, when I was having a lot of family drama, my friends could tell when things were really bad--I dressed in my fave red shoes, or suit. I just find looking in the mirror and seeing something I like always helped when nothing else seemed to be going well.

Louise

Veteran

I'm afraid when I'm down I get even lazier than usual, and don't put much effort into my look and turn to darker clothes x

Freckles

Veteran

I think I do both, comfiest loungewear or dressed up.

If it's a health thing I find that a nice bubblebath with extravagant fragrance and super nice body lotion, face cream, pampering etc work with great music (Enya or something to suit my mood), book/movie/art of some kind and a hot drink.

celia

Veteran

I totally do it.In fact I think the more down I feel the more I dress up, put make up and such.Partly because it's the fake till you make mentality, partly because I have no patience for feeling sorry for myself.

It works to a certain point because I feel better but when taken to extremes cuts of the people who might want to help me feel better.

Is your packing going ok?

Kari

Veteran

This post really speaks to me, as I'm struggling through a very dark time right now.

I definitely feel better and more competent/capable of getting through the day if I dress up a little extra on the days when I don't feel good, but have something pretty important going on - a gathering where I know my presence/absence will be felt by the host, something critical at work, or a day where I just need to be on my "A" game.

I've been doing a lot of that lately.

tarzy

Veteran

Khris - sorry you're not feeling your best. (Kari, too.) Whatever works to help get you through is worth doing. I think you're both fab, inside and out, for whatever that's worth.

Jonesy

Veteran

I tend to do what Louise does, unfortunately :). But I think your approach is a much savvier one!

I hope the move is over quickly and you feel better soon, Khris.

Debbie

Veteran

I thought I'd replied to this earlier along with a couple of other post.
I tend to reach for my favorite accessories when I'm down. It's comforting.
Khris I hope you feel better soon.

taylor

Veteran

sorry you ladies are feeling down:(

I totally do this...more when I am ill rather than down though.
If I am recovering from a cold or flu, the moment I have the strength to take a shower and do the hair, make-up and put on fresh lounge wear...then crawl back into bed..I may feel like dying...but I don't want to look like death:)

It makes me feel better for some reason:)

krishnidoux

Veteran

This book called Feeling good http://www.webheights.net/depression/burns/fg.htm really helps. It is based on cognitive therapy: I didn't believe in it until I tried. It helps you identify you blue mood, pinpoint the thoughts that trigger them and shows you how to work on them: identifying the distortion, counteract it with a positive thought... it works.

I think dressing up when feeling down is also a strategy to counteract the dark thoughts, but if you stop there it becomes a panacea.

After working through some dark moments, addressing the real pain or fear and doing something about it, dressing up feels that much more pleasant.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Sorry you are feeling stressed! And I hope the packing goes well for your move.

I do a bit of both. If I'm mildly blue, I will indeed take more care with my appearance, in an effort to banish or soothe the mood. It helps!

But when things get really bad, I stop trying and no longer make the effort.

Kari

Veteran

Khris, I hope that things are getting better and that the move is going well.

I also want to say that when I'm down, I rely on mandatory distractions. I can "fake it" for a while even if I'm at my lowest if I know it's for a limited period of time (for example, having to be totally together and polished at work, or holding it together for a social gathering, but knowing that I can crash when I get home and have exhausted my energy. And unfortunately that makes me hard to live with.) I actually tend to do worse and sink into a slump, not leaving the house or getting dressed, when I don't have to be forced to leave the house. The worst periods of time I've had in this regard were when I was unemployed - I'm seriously bad at forcing myself to do something productive when I'm low and have nothing "scheduled" that I have to do.

So long story short, I really commend you for making an effort to get dressed most days even when you are just hanging around the house. I sincerely believe that it can make a big difference, and maybe it is a good thing that you have somewhere to go outside of the house, too, if you are anything like me in your low periods.

Maya

Veteran

I'm sorry you and others are going through this, Khris. Count me in too. I am going through a really hard time right now, and the only thing that keeps me sane is to simply maintain my routine. I thought about just "letting go" for a while--ignoring the makeup, not thinking about what I wear or how I look, and just allowing myself not to care. But ultimately I decided against it. I'm not putting MORE time and effort into my appearance either, though. The point is that I want my life to just be normal again, like it was before this dreadful period, and that means maintaining the routine I had and NOT making any special accommodations. I don't want this situation to dictate how I live or what I do.

Kari

Veteran

Maya, that's a really admirable perspective. I'm sorry that you are still going through a rough time. It's funny that it is hitting many of us at the same time. I hope that you will start feeling more normal and more like yourself again soon.

mrseccentric

(website)

Veteran

i definitely dress up when i'm feeling down! i've had bad periods of depression, just born with that type of brain. but i've found this helps as part of a cognitive behavioral therapy type strategy. the idea is partly 'fake it til you make it' - but i find it also sends signals to your unconscious about how you're doing. it's harder for the 'non talky' parts of your nervous system/brain to continue on a depressive mode when you are sending them non depressed signals by acting like you're not depressed. so eating right, exercising, dressing well and appropriately, going out with friends, cleaning up the house - all these help send the 'i'm doing fine and got it together' message to your subconscious.

the other factor i've found with dressing better is that you tend to get positive feedback from the people around you. they tend to interact with you as if you are happy and functioning well. this sends a very strong message to all of you, especially your subconscious parts, that you ARE happy and doing well. the same goes for making the effort to smile, act interested in others, and so on.

of course if you feel like you're just acting fake or start second-guessing yourself all the time this type of strategy can back fire. but if you're able to approach it reasonably, as a way to help yourself heal, i've found it can help.

happy sunday everybody! steph

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

Khris, Kari, Maya and anyone else having a rough time, I'm terribly sorry and send my warmest sympathies. I'm somewhat in the same boat, though my issues are physical more than emotional lately. And like many here, I find style is a blessed escape and even sometimes a bandade solution for such problems. Mrseccentric had some great insights on the power of positive image -- projecting yourself a certain way can create a more positive environment around you, both in the messages you send yourself and the way in whichi people react to you. On a more selfish level, taking care of my appearance has been a way of pampering myself during times when I've been struggling with pressure from others or even contending with the frustrating machinations of my own brain. Taking time to select the right outfit, do my hair properly, take care of my skin etc...all of this is a way of giving myself a hug to get me through difficult times.

Kari

Veteran

"Giving yourself a hug" - I love that, Michelle. What a beautiful message to send to yourself through self-care when you most need it.

I'm sorry that you are experiencing a low patch, too. I hope that things get better for you and for us all.

Mrseccentric, I think that is a very helpful perspective - and it makes sense from my experience, too. I tend to feel worse when I sit around and don't do anything and act like something is wrong. And often when I keep carrying on, taking care of my self, starting to do more, the endorphins (from being more active) and just the sense that life is moving on helps me cope a bit more. I'm hoping that I'll soon have more energy to do some of that. I did make it to a spinning class earlier this week, which was amazing - I hadn't had enough energy to do something quite that intensely active in quite a while, and I think it honestly helped me feel better.

Di

(website)

Veteran

I totally do it. I'm not sure it works, though-- I tend to be more self-critical when I'm down, and even outfits/makeup that I'd usually find delightful feel blech.

Lisa

Veteran

When I feel down it shows in my appearance. The hair is always up, the clothes are simple pieces with no creative layering. Heck I'll even wear the same handful of items again and again instead of coming up with something new. A few years back I went through a rough patch and really let my appearance slide, no contact lenses or make-up, hair always in a bun (no one I worked with even knew I had long hair), just my glasses. And outfits I would typically save for "around the house" went out in public regularly. How I felt was heavily reflected in my appearance. As I felt better about myself my appearance straightened up too.

Kari

Veteran

Lisa, I find it kind of interesting that you mentioned that wearing contacts is one of the things that makes you feel groomed, whereas you wear glasses when you aren't feeling good. I guess because I see my glasses (and my decision to wear glasses, or one pair over another) as a strategic accessory, like a necklace or my watch, I don't see wearing my glasses as dragging down my appearance. However, I'll say this - when I'm feeling down, I can wind down very quickly and need to rest a lot, so I tend to gravitate towards glasses so I can take them off and nap in a heartbeat rather than dealing from the dry eyes that comes from an accidental nap in contacts.
I wonder how many of the rest of us gravitate towards either glasses or contacts when we aren't feeling well?

Maya

Veteran

I have to be extremely physically ill to stay in glasses for comfort reasons--my physical health impacts my eyes a lot. It did not even occur to me to wear glasses due to my emotional/mental illness though.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

People always know when I'm down because I start wearing pants. By the time I've neglected to put on lipstick in the morning, they know I'm depressed and gently prod me to go see my shrink. Ugh. I hate seeing that guy. Not very helpful.

I have now banished all of my pants to the back closet