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Dressing for your body size

Kossy

(website)

Its sometimes intereting to see what most women wear around town.During my secondary school days,my clothing and textiles teacher always mentioned that we should flatter our good sides and cover our worse sides.
I presume she mentioned that because flattering the positive sides makes one confidant and very appealing to the opposite sex(although most women says they do not dress for the opposite sex,but if a compliment does not come from these same men,hell would break lose)

Am raising up this issue because some of the body shapes are so obvious and stares right into ones face,whiles it leaves other dumbfounded.My question is just simple:Should women continue to showcase their "good" because it makes them feel good and confident about themselves or they should offer moderation to what they show to the world.

Dressing

16 replies

Latest reply was from rabbit

Louise

Veteran

This is an interesting one. I'm a pear so in theory I should try to hide my hips and show off my tiny waist however I feel fat and frumpy in wide leg trousers and feel much more comfortable in skinnies and a fluid top. I think it's probably more down to figure flattery so skinnies and a fluid top flatters my figure just as wide leg trousers and a belted top would. However I'd never wear skinnies and a belted top as I know it would make my hips stand out like a sore thumb! X

Kossy

(website)

Wow ,Interesting and intellectual reply,

rachylou

Veteran

I see the choices as follows:

A) Dressing to promote an appearance of having a body that meets the fertility golden ratio

B) Dressing so that only your brain shows

C) Dressing sexy (which is actually different from A)

D) Dressing as art

I'm in the D category with a nod to A. I like a little beauty, a little interest in the visual landscape, and rosy cheeks and eyes on the same horizontal plane.

Full on A would be very boring to me because I don't think getting knocked up is an achievement (no offense to anyone). I feel it's very close to being the same as a cardboard cutout of George Bush.

Full on B would be extremely irritating to me, because the brain is distinctly not what it's cracked up to be.

C - call me odd, but I can't think of anything less sexy than sexy dress. Sexy dress is like the magic pickup line - sad sap, potentially creepy...

Ledonna N.

Veteran

My thought is this if we only accentuate the "good" parts are we then saying that we are not acknowledging the "bad" parts. Self-acceptance to me is loving the icky parts as well. Finding a way to say there is no bad part because each part is me and if I don't like that part I don't like myself.

ironkurtin

Veteran

I think there is a difference between dressing well and simply presenting your best body parts. Figure flattery is a fairly sophisticated approach, to my mind, whereas simply hoisting the goods upward for view is not.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Great question, and thank you, Kossy. You're from Ghana. I LOVE that, and welcome. You had me at "secondary school", which is a term that the people in the US do not use. It's very English. Here, they use the term, High School.

(Rachy of course, has a wonderful lateral way of thinking about things).

Anyway Kossy, it's a question of finding your figure flattering priorities, which can vary greatly between people. Conventional Figure Flattery is about 4 things:

Looking slender
Defining the waist
Elongating the leg line
Creating the proportional Hourglass Body Type

Thank goodness fashion and style has moved beyond creating conventionally flattering proportions. And while dressing to create these proportions can be wildly flattering and gorgeous on us all, it's often not quite as fun or comfortable. So I'm back to choosing what's most important when it comes to flattering your body AND feeling great in what you wear. Opting for outfits that are "just flattering enough" is liberating and more modern.

And what IK said.

HardCoreMom

I think it all comes down to the individual woman. For most, I imagine there is a balance to be struck between what is flattering (in the conventional sense) and what makes you happy. And that balance shifts from day to day.

Gigi

Veteran

I always try to find clothes that will flatter my not-so-good parts. For instance, I have high hips, so tucking my shirt generally looks bad (my torso is very short, and I look out of proportion). I have discovered that by wearing low-rise pants, I can tuck but have the illusion of a longer torso. Likewise, long skirts (to the ankle) generally make me look frumpy, but if I am careful to buy a long skirt that is a straight cut (not too much extra material to flare out at the bottom) or maybe even a vertical design element, I look OK or even good! So I don't shy away from wearing things that I like simply because they're not for my body type. I try to find a way to make them work, whether it's by buying a particular cut (fluid vs. fitted; straight vs. flared) or color (dark vs. light) or length (skirt hitting the tops of the shoes vs. hitting at the ankle).

minimalist

Veteran

Love Rachylou's answer.

And I miss Gaylene's input on topics like this.

More later; I'm reading from mobile, which isn't conducive to coherent posting.

rachylou

Veteran

Yes! I miss Gaylene! Gaylene would have brilliant things to say about this matter.

Desmo April

(website)

Veteran

Please repeat after me...

I have no bad parts!
I have no bad parts!
I have no bad parts!

Yes, dress to make yourself feel great but there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with wider hips, broad shoulders, a small chest, a large chest, narrow shoulders, short legs and any other number of perceived problems.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Ditto on missing Gaylene's input.

I love Rachylou's response.

And Angie's, of course.

For myself, I try to remind myself of Desmo April's mantra. Of course I don't always feel that way, in which case it is nice to have outfits that neither showcase the good parts nor hide the parts I don't like on that particular day, but instead just feel great because they let me move freely and enjoy beautiful textures or colours.

Kossy

(website)

Thanks to you all taking time off your busy schedule share your varied views and opinions.I very much appreciate this.Thanks!

To Angie: Yes and from Ghana...and seriously promoting your blog.It is great.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I need to repeat DA's mantra after last night's swimsuit try-on session. If there was ever a love-hate relationship, it's the one I have with my legs. I just have to remind myself all the time of how well they work, because I need to find beauty in that rather than how they look.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Well I do love Rachy's answer and am now trying to figure out what to wear that covers up all my non-mental parts yet still exposes my brain. And will it require surgery?

Anyway, I am not sure exposing the parts that are most likely to get compliments from men necessarily leads to greater self esteem. On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with dressing to attract men if that is what you want to do. Certainly there is no one way of dressing that everyone will agree is the most attractive.

rabbit

Veteran

I loved Rachylou's answer and I think 'showcasing the good' makes sense to me if it's a holistic thing. In other words, you aren't just showcasing one body part and covering others, but you are showcasing your personal style, sense of balance and proportion color and pattern, and ability to read your environment for suitability. Your entire body is part of what you are working with, but not all of it.

In terms of 'dressing sexy' I think there is a lot of cultural baggage there, but the main thing is that it means very different things to different people, and also can mean different things both to an observer and the wearer. If it makes the wearer feel confident and powerful I definitely understand the appeal. Then the question is, who is it giving you power over? And who might it be lessening your power with at the same time?