I had to run after posting yesterday, so I didn't get a chance to scroll through all the responses until now. A big thank you for all the comments; they have really helped me sort through my conflicting emotions.
Vildy, your last paragraph really sums up my feelings. Experimenting just doesn't seem to work for me like it does for so many others. I usually end up feeling strange and uncomfortable instead of fashionable.
Unfrumped, Kalli, Mo, Rae, and Joy--I guess it's the "refresh", "tweaking", and "trend filtering" aspects that make me doubt my ability to avoid wardrobe frumpdom. I'm totally happy to hand over my credit card for another pair of Fluevog boots, but those metallic oxfords and mixed media tops (both of which I actually own, BTW) seem to be such a challenge to style in a way that seems right. The Fluevogs, on the other hand, are totally dependable. And easy seems so--easy?
Becky, maybe we need to to start a sub-section of this forum--NTFs--Non-Trendy Fashionistas?
Day Vies, my experience is almost the exact opposite. I found following trends fun when I was younger, but now, in my 60s, find it much more difficult to figure out how to interpret so many of the current trends in a way that feels right for me.
Shevia, it's the choice that makes this difficult. I mean, if style icons can wear the same uniform for years, why can't I? But you've expressed my fear: will my "uniform" be as well received as, say, Kate Hepburn's--or will I just look like a dumpy, frumpy old lady?
Deborah--Yes, it feels so odd that experimenting can have exactly the opposite result to what is intended. Instead of expanding my options, it makes me want to focus (that sounds so better than "retreat", doesn't it?) and narrow my wardrobe. And your goal sounds much the same as mine; I don't want my style to just be a reflection of my love for fashion; I want it to be a reflection of ALL of me.
Suz and Denise, the need for an entire wardrobe overhaul after losing weight was the catalyst for my joining YLF and did result in a lot of experimenting. But, in reflecting back, I've always had a fairly defined personal style so the experimenting, instead of helping, just made me unsure of my style. I think Suz's point about one's fashion persona makes a lot of sense--trends are a lifeblood for some but a source of confusion for others. I think I fall into the latter category.
Anna, it's funny that you feel the need to defend being trendy. To me, it's my desire to stay with the tried and true that seems at odds for someone who professes a love for fashion. On the other hand, your fearless willingness to experiment with trends seems to me to be the essence of a true fashion lover.
Ornella, your point about not having body shape that works with traditionally feminine clothes really resonates. I guess I found years ago that a streamlined, more dramatic, style worked well for me. When this look is trending, it seems like a such natural extension of what I'm already wearing that incorporating doesn't seem like following a trend--more like, whoa, everyone is starting to dress like me.
R&J and Irene, your method of incorporating a trend if it fits your style seems to be a good mid-ground, but I sometimes think having a strong personal style means that you can quite easily sit out several seasons without wanting to adopt anything new. That, in essence, is what I'm struggling with these days. (ETA: But Angie's comment below is SO reassuring!)
Krishnidoux, hmm, you raised a really good point about intent. The choice to ignore or to incorporate fashion trends, as long as it is deliberate, can have quite a different vibe than just looking unaware of what is happening in the fashion world.
Angie, thanks for popping in. I knew you'd have a good perspective on this topic because of your work with your clients. Reassessing a wardrobe every 3-5 years seems much more doable for me than purging and editing every season, or even every year. I love watching fashion from the sidelines, but the thought of trying to re-work silhouettes, shapes, and styles constantly doesn't thrill me--more like exhausts me. It's enormously reassuring to know "fashion now" can mean a couple of seasons old, not just what is currently being shown on the runway and in the stores. I promise to toss those blocky, square-toed shoes from 6-8 years ago, but I'll wear my two-year-old, wedged espadrilles more confidently this summer.
