Does anyone else have this problem slightly OT - YouLookFab Forum

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Does anyone else have this problem slightly OT

Debbie

Veteran

Things go missing from my closet. They are "borrowed" and I use that term very loosely by my 27 yr old daughter. Some are never returned. The MIA items right now include but probably are not limited too:
1. A grey cardigan Which I replaced yesterday
2. A black shirt dress that is a work horse for me. I bought it with Angie.
3. My favorite pair of leggings.
I'm fustrated over the dress in particular. I gave up on the cardigan.

General

26 replies

Latest reply was from Theresa

Queen Mum

Veteran

since I have 4 teenage boys I am fortunate that this doesn't seem to happen. I need to start buying pink swimming goggles to keep them from stealing those though

Kim

Veteran

This just happened to me for the first time that I can remember. I bought a plaid ruffled tunic and put it in my closet to be styled at a later date (I try and do that on Tuesdays...LOL)

I went back to my closet and it was gone. Couldn't find it anywhere. Looked all over, behind the dryer, bottom of the closet, etc.

Finally inquired with my oldest daughter (closest to my size) and she didn't have it.

Found out, from my sister, while shopping with her this weekend that my *youngest* daughter has it! LOL

I was telling my sis how I lost clothes and couldn't figure out how when she said "Is it blue with ruffles?" I asked how she knew that? She said "Sam has it, she wore it when she went away with me a couple of weeks ago and told me it was yours..."

Little monkey! I inquired with her and she just laughed.

I told her to *not* check in my closet if her black sweater coat ever went missing...

Marley

Veteran

That is hilarious! No - I can't say that I have that problem because its just me, my husband and my cats. None of them are my style or my size, so they're not even tempted to "borrow" my clothes!

Barbara

Veteran

debbie, I have a 25-year old son, so I've never had the pleasure (or aggravation) of missing clothing! That rascal! You should charge her a 'usage' fee!

Srujana

Veteran

Oooh I know this feeling quite well. I have a friend who loves to 'shop in my closet' and will call asking for help with a last minute outfit for some event. Then those clothes are missing from my closet indefinitely, until I call or go over to her place and ask for them back. It took me awhile to figure out what was going on, as I kept thinking I lost things in the wash or while traveling....she gives me free access to her closet too, but I just don't indulge as much as she does

shana

Veteran

Yup, I with Kim, 2 boys here so I don't have to worry about any poaching!!! I have lent items out to friends and my policy is that I don't lend anything I love & wouldn't want to lose. If I am expecting the item back, I make it clear to the borrower what my expectations are and I make note of it in my planner. I guess I'm a little OCD about it because when I was younger, my mom would constantly give my items away, often without asking me. I wouldn't even realize until I saw a cousin or relative wearing said item and it was impossible to ask for it back. I lost many favorite sentimental clothing pieces this way. I guess this is why I'm such a hoarder now!

Kim

Veteran

Turnabout is fair play to my mind. Go to her closet and "borrow" without asking anything you *know* she wears regularly. Then "misplace" (hide) it, and when she asks, tell her it will be returned to her when she returns "name your item of choice"...

Make sure its something she really needs like a coat or a pair of work shoes...

This is war honey, there will be hostages...LOL

taylor

Veteran

Oh, yes. My daughter ends up keeping everything she borrows at her house, and I end up replacing for myself:)

Isabel

Veteran

Ironically, yes...and for different reasons. As you may remember, my older sister is mentally disabled and if I leave anything out, she thinks that she "found " it and takes it.
( She is particularly lucky at "finding" bags. )

And now, my 8 year old hides my accessories when he is mad at me, mostly shoes.

My husband is particularly adept at finding "too much " food on my plate and eating it
( always the good stuff ).

NK

Hee hee! It won't happen here either, having 2 sons. But, I grew up with 3 sisters, so I get it.

Have you tried putting your foot down and explaining that it really does bother you and that it's a matter of respect? Maybe she doesn't think it's that big of a deal...

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Debbie, its time you played bad cop.

Sally

Veteran

I have an older sister who was forever taking things and not telling me. She would just appear and I would think "now thats where thats gone to". She's quite a lot older than me and it happened when I was a teenager and she was in her 20s. Luckily we live quite a distance from each other.
What ended up happening is that I went to another country and she visited my mum and raided my closet (well they were things I had left behind) I went to visit her at her place and saw all these things. I just lost it and had a real tantrum (totally ungrown up I know) but it worked because its never happened since and we do still get on. I do give her clothes now from time to time.

Kari

Veteran

Oh, Debbie, I was so guilty of this in high school. (Granted, I lived with my mom then, so the clothing items would eventually turn up in my laundry!) Wasn't there a recent TV commercial - I think for laundry detergent - where the mother was actually "borrowing" the daughter's clothes instead?

I hope that you get the items back, ESPECIALLY the beautiful dress.

I'm about your daughter's age, and my mom and I are about the same size and build, so I do borrow her clothing items - but always with permission now! I keep trying to convince her that it's not age-inappropriate to borrow my clothes, too.

janetinvirginia

When I was a teenager, my mother, my 3 sisters and I could all fit in the same size. We borrowed a lot from each other!

I have 3 daughters, and we wear different sizes, so sometimes I give them things that are too big or too small for me. My 15 year old loves to steal everyone's hoodies or sweatshirts when she gets cold, even my husband's.

Katiepea

(website)

Veteran

Yes, I think it is a pretty common occurence. When my mum died, I was given the task of cleaning out her wardrobe. In there, amongst the sadness, I had to laugh when from out the back of her wardrobe I pulled out three skirts and a top that belong to me! Sneaky lady, she'd had them hidden there for a long time!

I guess you have three options - 1. Do nothing and say nothing (but feel better because you've got it off your chest here) 2. Ask her for it back directly 3. Go to her wardrobe and "help yourself" to some of her stuff. That way, when she asks for it back you can swap clothes along the lines of a prisoner exchange

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Ha, I remember this happened to my mom on regular basis when I was a teenager. That was a lot of fun!
Now when it happened to me when my younger sister began to borrow my things was not fun at all!:-)
Now I happily live in the male household (high five, Queen Mum!)

Kate

Veteran

haha, when I studied abroad I told my sister she could wear the clothes I didn't bring with me. I returned home to find many of my clothes had been relocated to her dresser and closet! She returned it all in a neatly folded stack with a couple pairs of MY UNDERWEAR on top!!! Apparently she "had a laundry emergency and needed to borrow some". I told her she could keep them...

Laura

(website)

Veteran

Debbie, I am with Angie - time to set some boundaries!

I remember this "borrowing" happening a lot in college between us girls. You quickly learn who can be trusted to return an item, and who can't!

Lisa

Veteran

Fortunately my sister does not live with me, but things happen to follow her home when she visits.

Anonymous

I'd ask for my things back.

Debbie

Veteran

She came by tonight with my dress. I told her she needed to ask.

Mellllls

Veteran

I love sharing clothes with my mom and sister. But everything is always returned unless it is clear that I or my mom is giving stuff away.
Your daughter is 27; she's not a kid and she should be independent. So she shouldn't be rifling through your closet it you're not okay with it!!!

Elly

Veteran

I have never had another woman steal a piece of clothing from me, or borrow and keep it. I have had jewelry stolen and permanently borrowed, but that is another story. However, I have had people steal MENS clothes of mine. I lost several nice waffle-weave, men's Henleys and flannel I had bought to wear camping out of the dryer when I was at college. I also had a boyfriend that once stole a shirt that used to be my dad's that I wore around the house without my permission that he later stained permanently with something unidentifiable and disgusting in several places. I have also had my younger brother steal both GIRLS jeans (he did return them after he had worn them to school and damaged the legs by letting them drag the ground and realized that they weren't his) and MENS/unisex sweatshirts and flannel shirts from me, as well as slide shoes when he was younger and still wore a smaller size than me. He also recently appropriated some of my loungewear (a sweatpant in a BF fit). So, women who live with men, be warned--- you are not immune!

Louise

Veteran

I still live with my Mum and brother's girfriend but we rarely borrow each others stuff. I can remember Mum borrowing a cocktail dress and a cardi but I offered these as she was stuck for something to wear. Though I did note my warm NEW zipped cardi had gone walkabouts the other week turned out Mum had taken it on holiday with her- she spotted it on the stairs as she was leaving and needed a warm jumper and I wasn't in she did text me though in the evening to tell me x

rute

Veteran

ah ah.. I have.. my daugther has 11 years old (she wears the same size shoe as me)and she goes to my room and steals all my flats

Theresa

(website)

Veteran

oh goodness - your stories are scaring me girls!!

I didn't grow up with any sisters or ever borrow from my mother, but I'm guessing that seeing as I have a little more style than my mother, and two daughters, I can expect this to happen in my household too!

They do like to pinch my necklaces already, so I'm guessing that's the first step in becoming clothes-stealing-teenagers LOL

Good luck with it Deb - and if you find a solution, be sure to let me know so I am prepared with ammunition!