Do you hoard or share YLF? - YouLookFab Forum

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Do you hoard or share YLF?

viva

Veteran

Sarah the White had a great post today about her boss's beautiful shoes, and Gigi asked when her boss would be joining YLF, to which Sarah answered: that would be like my two world colliding!

I have to admit that is how I feel. I am very much myself here and indulge my fashion loves, insecurities, and questions in ways I really don't elsewhere. I talk about YLF with other women friends in a general way but have not been an active recruiter because I hold it sort of sacred. But then I also feel a little bad about that.

What about you? Do you recruit? Or is this your safe haven?

Dressing

53 replies

Latest reply was from Eirlys

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I don't mind sharing with other online communities I'm in, like I have many fitness oriented friends that I also share fashion with. And I mention 'the forum' in abstract to my mom and would be mother in law. But I don't invite my direct peers on over. Only one of my friends is a fellow fashion follower. The rest probably wouldn't judge, but they wouldn't necessarily appreciate it, either. I guess it is my little secret in my real life.

Isabel

Veteran

LOL !!! I have been hoarding. But the other day I told my son's ex- speech pathologist whom I have become very friendly with. I used to feel the same way. I don't work, but I definitely wouldn't want my boss ...it is my private life.

There are also some acquaintances ( read neighbor ) that is would just take it a more gossip and judgement to spread.

But there are some wonderful women in my life and it is time to spread the news ! It really comes down to the right women, I guess, in my life. With that said, I have told people that I am not crazy about IRL but it is not on me to pick who should be on the site..... : )

Adelfa

Veteran

Same with me. Although of course I try never to say anything I wouldn't mind the whole world reading, I don't talk in specifics to others about the forum. I don't think my personal friends would be interested, and I'm not looking for this level of vulnerability with colleagues! DD lurks though and that's fine with me.

citygirldc

(website)

Veteran

I'm a hoarder too. I've told a few friends but they don't seem to be too interested or they just don't like fashion enough to post photos online. Honestly, none of my friends are into fashion like me so I tend to hoard and keep my YLF family to myself.

Isabel

Veteran

With that said, I just went on FB and invited two dear friends to the Boston meet up ! How's that for jumping in ? LOL

April

Veteran

When I came on board, I was working in elementary schools and felt very strongly that I didn't need my colleagues -- kind of a gossipy crew -- to know what I was buying or when I was having a bra fitting. I don't post my face and I don't use my real name (April is the month I was born). I also stay off Facebook.

So clearly I'm a safe-haven type.

I did bring my sister along for a while and that was fun (we live very far apart and only see each other once or twice a year) but she got caught up in other things and isn't on the forum anymore.

Every now and then my husband wants a link to a thread and it always gives me pause to think of him seeing this other part of my world.

I know my need for privacy is probably extreme.

Anonymous

I hoard to a degree. My mum, MIL and my 5 close friends know. Of my friends, non of them are in to fashion really; not like I am and I have told them I do pictures of myself and non of them have shown any interest in taking a look. They actually think I'm brave putting photos on in the first place! I shared links to the 'Dressing your body type' blog posts with a client, though I don't think she has any interest in taking it further either. Basically, what I guess I'm saying is that if more people shared my passion then I probably would share more. And thank god for YLF because it really is the only place I get to talk about fashion all the time

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I've shared YLF with the sewing boards that I hang out on, with people who are interested in fashion or who want to get critiques on their sewing choices. People in my irl life certainly hear about it, like my DH, but it's not their hobby so I wouldn't imagine they'd want to participate firsthand. If I had coworkers or bosses I wouldn't want to tell them about it - I'd be too self conscious to post personal details or look like I wasn't working during the workday in case they were online and watching.

MsMary

Veteran

Same as Adelfa, pretty much word for word. I try to keep it private but also try to conduct myself as though anything I post will be on the front page of the Los Angeles Tiimes in the morning.

And of course at this point several of the fabbers have crossed over into being treasured IRL friends!

Linda

My DH knows vaguely about the site but, truth to tell, I don't know of a single other person in my sphere IRL who would participate or appreciate YLF. Sad, I know! My late Mom would have probably loved it, but, she never got the hang of the Internet.

Diana

Veteran

I mostly hoard IRL, although I do share online sometimes. My husband knows about it (of course, since I go to meetups and stuff) but I'm pretty sure he doesn't get it at all. I am one of those people who tends to severely compartmentalize their life though, so it would definitely be worlds colliding.

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

I don't hoard. If I am on the subject of style or fashion with friends, I will mention this site as a favorite reference point. I talk about YLF all the time to the DBF, but so far, nobody has asked for the website address!

Like Adelfa and Mary K, I go with a general rule of thumb, that I don't put anything out there that I wouldn't want the entire world to know

Anonymous

I am an active recruiter. The women that I know that love fashion as much as I do would love this site so I share every chance I get. I have yet to meet a single one of them on this site though.

pastrygirl

(website)

Veteran

I would share if I had people to share it with! I can't think of any person IRL that cares about style or fashion. It's a bummer.

Neel

Veteran

Even with headless pictures .... YLF is my lovely little secret

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I kinda hoard, I suppose. I doubt most of my IRL friends would want to (or have time to) participate, and it's kind of nice to have a bit of a fashion haven here. My husband knows more about my participation than anyone, actually, and he's a huge fan. He thinks Angie is brilliant and loves that I take an interest in style.

ramya

Veteran

DH knows;). To an extent that recently we were planning a vacation and we needed to know certain things about the place . He says"Why don't you ask on You look fab? I am sure someone would know."
But he doesn't trespass if you know what I mean. He knows that you guys are my gal pals which I miss IRL

AnnieMouse

Veteran

I actually found YLF through a friend who often pins things from Angie's blog posts... But I don't know that I've ever actually seen her on the forums, interestingly.

kkards

Veteran

part of the reason i'm here is because i don't have people IRL who would be interested.

Anonymous

I find it interesting that so many of us are bereft of fashion interested pals in real life. If I could find a pal in my neck of the woods who shared my passion I'd be made up! It's so great we get this outlet here.

doubleh

Veteran

Luckily, my sister-in-law shared with me! (I don't know that she thought I would join the forum, but she turned me on to the site.) She hasn't posted in a while and I keep asking her if she's going to come back. I think I might have scared her away though....she won't even share her screen name with me.

As for me, I talk about it in abstract and if someone were interested I would probably share details. But I'd rather my colleagues and all those I know professionally think I was born this way!

Astrid

Veteran

I'm hoarding it. I don't have friends who are interested in fashion and I think my family would find the idea of me participating in a fashion forum strange. The only one who knows I'm part of a forum and posting outfit pictures online is my sister, but I don't think she knows where exactly.

Suja

Veteran

I definitely share but no one in my real life is that interested. I thought long and hard about using my real name and real photo and decided that I am comfortable with friends, family, coworkers, and bosses reading what I have to say. I just assume people I know are reading.

Also, as a women in the technology field I am inspired by Marissa Mayer (CEO of Yahoo and former Google exec) for being open about her love of fashion. It gives me some validation.

Gaylene

Veteran

I've always put divisions in my life to keep my private life separate from my professional one. Like MaryK and the rest, I also try not to put anything online that I wouldn't feel comfortable telling the world at large. I don't post pictures and go so far as to use different e-mail addresses with different names when I am online using different social media. I'd prefer to maintain as much privacy as I can in this digital world so I try not to be too open about my everyday life--although my opinions are another matter entirely!

My husband knows about YLF and actively encourages my participation; he gets a kick out of hearing all that goes on here in addition to fashion. I've also shown the site to my sister, but, as she says, it's just not her thing. That's probably why I enjoy my time here so much. Most of my friends and colleagues would probably never think of looking for me on a fashion forum.

Sara L.

Veteran

I hoard. The only person who is interested in fashion is my sister. We trade outfit pics every morning. She knows I'm a part of the forum and I occasionally send her links to Angie's articles. She writes a food blog (crumblycookie.net if anyone is interested) and is already active on several cooking forums so doesn't have time for another forum.

ETA - DH knows I'm active on the forum. He doesn't find it weird though. He's active on a couple jeeping forums so understands the need to connect with like-minded people.

Marley

Veteran

I share with a select few people in my life. I am absolutely positive that I would not share with my boss or a coworker! That just feels a little icky to me! I have several friends who are interested in fashion, and my 2 sisters who I know would love this place - but none of them have done anything more than lurk up to this point. My DH knows that I have a group of women that I've met through YLF that I meet up with and or swap clothes with (he sees the packages that arrive in the mail) - but to be honest with you, he thinks that YLF is a support group for SYC (shop your closet!) - and I've just let him think that! Hahaha! Oh dear - I know that's not a good thing - but, I also know that otherwise he would be in a panic all of the time about what I was going to buy next and how much money I was going to spend - so, I figure its for his own good, that I haven't set him straight about the whole non-SYC aspect of YLF! How's that for rationalization? :-}

viva

Veteran

I think it's very interesting that for many of us (who are married) -- and I include myself here -- DH is the one person who knows most about YLF. I never thought DH (who is not by nature a stylish man, although I do my best with him) would be at all interested in my online fashion life, but it turns out he loves that my involvement in YLF has grown. (Maybe because I have asked him less for feedback about clothing???) I share with him some of what happens here -- interesting and funny posts, for example, your thoughts about an outfit of mine, the sad news of Jen's daughter -- and he is connected to it and understands that YLF has become an important aspect of my daily life. He is happy to take pictures on the rare occasion I ask. After 25 years, so interesting that YLF has helped encourage my husband to appreciate my interest in fashion! And I think he envies the living community that it offers us all.

MsMary

Veteran

Yes, Mr. K knew about YLF. He called you all my "dress up friends!" (*waving at Mr. K if he's still stalking me*)

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Viva, Mr. Suz's response is much like your husband's. At first, he was more than a bit skeptical. ("You're posting pictures of yourself on the internet to strangers?") And he rolled his eyes when I asked him to take the occasional photo.

And then, after a month or two, something clicked, and he "got it." He could see it made me happy to participate. He saw me starting to look so much better. Whenever I bought something that I wasn't sure about, he'd ask me: "What did Angie say? What does the forum think?" He started listening intently when I'd share bits of news about certain forum members' lives. Now he is a complete supporter. And when we went to NYC last summer, he didn't even bat an eye when I said I wanted to spend some time with some YLF friends while there!!

When it comes to others, I am a highly selective sharer. In other words, I share with people who I think might actually be interested in YLF, either because they like fashion themselves, or because they are interested in internet communities. Otherwise, I don't mention it. Since only a couple of my real life friends are interested in fashion, I've really only told those friends.

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