Do you have tunnel vision when it comes to personal style? - YouLookFab Forum

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Do you have tunnel vision when it comes to personal style?

Fruitful

Veteran

I don't think I phrased that well.

This is what I mean:

In life, I'm a dabbler, dilettante. I procrastinate on more than one forum, heheh :).

But I get the impression that the majority of other people focus on one interest only.

So people on my makeup board quite often say they don't worry about their hair.

People on a hair forum say they don't worry about makeup.

People on a perfume board think a fashion board has got some "right dolly birds" and don't tend to focus on their visual appearance as much; their conversations are far more sensory and cerebral.

And even though I do a bit of everything, I don't do it all at once. I cycle through hobbies and obsessions. After focusing on my outfits for a while (and barely wearing makeup), my new glasses are making me rethink makeup again. So my hobby time has been eked out reading makeup reviews, watching tutorial videos, and finetuning a Strawberrynet order :). I've also been putting my mental energy into how to do my face and giving minimal thought to my outfits, throwing on a no-brainer in the morning.

If YLF follows the patterns of other forums, I'd expect lots of people here do flattering but easy-care hair, minimal makeup, and wear one signature perfume, because creative outfits take enough energy already.

So, are YLFers like this? Are you more focused on one aspect of grooming (even if it's purely for fun) than others? Or do you do a bit of everything? Or are you like me and you do everything with gusto, but focus on different things at different times?

General

33 replies

Latest reply was from soobee

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Well, I don't do anything with my long straight hair but wash & go (not even blow drying), wear no makeup or minimal makeup (tinted lip gloss if I remember to), and don't wear any perfume (I don't like strong scents). So I guess you described me pretty well!

I can't believe that there is that much to say about perfume or makeup or hair. Are those forums as interesting & active as YLF?

ETA: Your hair and makeup always looks nice so I guess you must be getting something out of it! And a lot of the ladies here do put on makeup...Teri is one who comes to mind as someone who always has pretty makeup on.

Abi

I don't really wear makeup day to day and generally go minimal when i do wear it. But I'm interested in skincare product reviews and I'm always on the hunt for the next new thing to fix my spots! And I might look at pictures of hairstyles if i'm going to get a cut and need some ideas but this is the only forum I follow / joined.

Fruitful

Veteran

GP, your hair and skin look great - you don't need to "do" anything to look better!

what I'm really talking about is level of obsession AKA "geeking out". In actuality, not everyone on the makeup board wears makeup all the time - they just like to talk about, think about, play with, and shop for it!

I have been to many more perfume meets than YLF meets you would be surprised how much there is to say about it.

My gateway forums were babywearing ones, which in their way are a sort of style forum. This also introduced me to Paypal and online shopping; I discovered the thrills of buying wraps from other mamas from all over the world.

I think I then got into Makeupalley.com. I had used it for reviews for years, but started reading the boards when looking for pics of some lipstick. Makeupalley has lots of subforums. When I got a bit bored of the Makeup and Face of the Day forums, I absentmindedly clicked on the fragrance board.

Up til then I was someone who hated perfume, all my life. But the vivid, writerly descriptions people were posting - talk of pumpkin notes, and fireplaces, and real green rhubarb, and hot lightbulb smells - intrigued me and sparked a new obsession. I also started reading Basenotes, a big fragrance forum (there are others too that I haven't had time for!) and some of the numerous perfume blogs. I discovered online sample ordering and now own samples of literally hundreds of scents collected over a year or so.

Lately I've gotten into the fitness board on Makeupalley - lots of inspiring women with loads of experience and info to share. I also jumped off from there to a number of other fitness blogs - my favourite is Bodyrock.TV.

I forgot, there's also the NaturallyCurly.com forum. Most people's forum signatures detail their daily haircare routine, current experiments, what their hair doesn't like, what their hair goals are, and photos of their hair. Veterans have thousands of posts! And yes, these forums are as active and interesting as YLF, partly in different ways, partly the same!

Again, it's about level of geek-out. Angie prioritises a killer hairstyle - but it's different on hair foums, where it's ALL about hair.

And I do love geeking out.:)

And Teri does do gorgeous makeup looks!

Here the focus is clothes, but the other elements have to come into it too, so that's why I was wondering how they play together for people.

Fruitful

Veteran

Hi Abi,

it was definitely the skincare reviews that led me to finding out about makeup forums etc! I have acne, which makes skincare and makeup a priority it wasn't when my skin was clear.

In fact, as much as I get into these "hobbies" because they're fun, it's always had an aspect of need to solve a problem. Curly hair is misunderstood by most hair professionals, so what little knowledge people have about it is precious and needed by people like me.

Perfume is probably the only one that was purely for pleasure and not to better myself in some way.

That's what's so addictive about hobbies related to personal style & grooming, and their communities like YLF; they fulfil a desire for improvement AND a desire to have fun.

Fruitful

Veteran

I also find when I can't do one I can do another. When I can't afford clothes I can afford a lipstick, or I can get perfume decants from a friend. When clothes don't fit, I can still smell great. When I don't have time to do makeup and hair, I can still feel put together with my hair in a bun and a thought-out outfit.

Sorry for hogging my own thread I just keep thinking how these different areas of interest complement each other and satisfy something within me.

citygirldc

(website)

Veteran

I only do make up and outfits. Thank God I don't have to worry about hair since it's short but sometimes it takes me a while to get dressed in the morning if I haven't decided what to wear. Usually from the timeI shower, put makeup on and get dressed, it takes half an hour maybe less sometimes.

JennyAnne

(website)

Veteran

Interesting. I've always gone pretty minimal on maekeup - "fixing" my face and then the basics - gloss, a little blush, and maybe mascara. My hair is even more dull not that it's pretty short. Maybe if I lurked on a hair forum, I'd find my perfect hairstyle, though! I do have other passions, though, and I think it's totally normal to be like that. I spend a lot of time doing, thinking about, and reading about crafts - sewing, knitting, paper crafts... and also home improvements and DIY stuff. My husband is the exact oposite, though, and focuses pretty much solely on computer stuff. It takes all kinds.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

My first boards or forums ever were the AOL fitness ones. When they did away with them a couple years ago, one of my boards moved to Facebook and I made the move with them. To this day, I log on to FB in the morning with my coffee and check in with the daily post. It is not like here, most gals just check in once for the day unless there is a discussion or questions going on, but it's a private group and only a dozen of us, so a lot less traffic than an open forum!
So, beyond that, this is the only other forum of which I'm a member. I do geek out here But it's a healthy 'obsession' I think and honestly helps keep me sane while out of work.
I've always chided that my interests are fashion, fitness and food - seems my forums are in line with that.
As for hair - I have been a wash and wear kinda gal forever but I do care how it looks and this last year of being away from my stylist and having subpar cuts really has affected me. I never feel totally put together when my hair is just bleh.
Make up: I put on enough to cover what needs covering and highlight what needs highlighting. I might find a new product every few years, but if I find one I like I stick with it. No need to experiment just for the fun of it. I've been using exact eyelights mascara for green eyes for 3+ years now and don't plan on switching unless it's discontinued.

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

I used to totally be into a scuba diving board pre-kids. Then when I had the kids I switched to a mommy board--DH stayed with the scuba board ;-). Yes, there is a level of complete obsession/geekiness about the gear that goes along with both of those (researching and discussing finding the perfect diving gear or strollers, carriers, car seats, diaper bags and other baby gear) so I completely know what you mean about that. I still frequent the mommy board, but mainly the MomWear section of it now. I don't have time to keep up with all of it as much as I did pre-YLF.

Ana

(website)

Veteran

My hair used to be very long and it's naturally curly. I would spend an hour trying to make it look decent, and I never managed it. Cutting it off was a birthday present to myself, and I've never looked back. So I don't mess too much with my hair (other than to change the color from time to time), but I love makeup! Especially lipstick. I'm always looking for the perfect warm berry color. I have lots of reds that I wear. I also LOVE perfume. I definitely wouldn't be happy having one scent that I always wore, because there are so many gorgeous scents out there. I am very picky when it comes to buying and wearing perfume, though. I think I enjoy smelling them even more than I enjoy wearing them. I can usually appreciate an interesting scent 'in the bottle' or on someone else, but I don't necessarily want to smell it all day. I'm always ordering perfume samples and spritzing those little cards when I go into the department store. I have so many samples that I think I might need to start keeping an Excel spreadsheet.

I don't hang around makeup boards at all, and only occasionally check out Basenotes to read reviews and see what people are talking about, but I never post. YLF is the only forum I participate in, I guess. I hang out on Twitter a lot, but I'm not on Facebook.

Diana

Veteran

Well, my hair is wash and go, I hardly ever wear makeup, and find almost all perfume to be too strong, so I guess you've described me pretty well! I have always been like this though, and don't really see myself developing a strong interest in any of those three things anytime soon.

I also frequent some knitting sites, and interestingly I've found that it can sometimes act as a sort of gateway drug into other related crafts - a lot of people will talk about sewing, or quilting, or spinning, etc, and it seems so cool that you have to try it out and get sucked in to it.

Anonymous

Well , I like make-up, and hair. I spend a lot of time looking at braiding tutorials. ( I cut my hair in a bob in august, with bangs , but I still like braiding. putting it up and down). I don't use a lot of products, but I care for hair like I wash and then 2 days rest days, and sometimes I do a week of rest, or in the summer I cleanse it with chamomile tea to give it blond highlights. As for make-up I like it, but don't geek about it. I like to spend some time in a Sephora from time to time, and I buy products for my mom, who's overwhelmed by the choices she has now. I believe good grooming goes a long way in making the general impression you look more expensive and put-together.
I used to do my eyebrows and nails at the salon, but after a while I learned to do it myself. ( with a lot of help from my friends) . Is that geek-ing. Yes, I love clothes more than make-up and hair care. I geek more about trends , while on make-up and hair I prefer to "stay relevant" and look good, not explore or create much. ( except nail varnish, but that's a little sin). I suppose hair people on make-up people do dress well but don't put as much passion. For now, I like the atmosphere around. If Angie decides switching the topic to mathematics I'd still stay around I guess

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I feel very guilty leaving such a short response to such a thought out post but you have me pegged. I like to look groomed but natural so it is a wash and go hairstyle followed by concealer, lip stain and mascara most days. This also fits with my working mum lifestyle. Fashion however, is what I dream about.

rae

(website)

Veteran

I am not active on any other forums, but I also LOVE Makeupalley and Basenotes, for perfumes. I'm like you that I hated perfumes most of my life, until I read a description of a CB I Hater Perfumes creation. I was intrigued by the idea that perfume could smell like stuff besides headache-incucing (for me) flowers and musks. So I do spend a decent amount of time on those sites reading reviews and making notes of things to try if they every pop up on ebay or somewhere for a couple bucks. I now find scents to be a great pick me up when the day starts to wear on.

The other big thing I follow is Wayofcats.com. Don't laugh, but I could talk for hours about cat psychology - no follow-up questions required. In another life, I would have liked to be an animal behaviorist; I find it so interesting to get inside the head of a completely different species and learn better ways to communicate and strengthen friendships.

Ahem... now that I've gotten all weird... no tunnel vision, but fashion does carry the most weight.

catgirl

Veteran

I don't think I have tunnel vision, but I do tend to focus on the aspects of style I can realistically control. For example, I do not do anything with my nails, even toenails, other than trim them, because my hands-on lifestyle and especially climbing make it a waste of time. I don't wear a lot of makeup as a specific style choice. I try to have an easy maintenance hairstyle that goes with my lack of time and outdoor focus. I wear ONE perfume (Light Blue) because it's the only one I actually like. So a lot of my style is self-regulating.

Since finding YLF, I've been pretty monogamous to this site, and I've never belonged to any other style site for hair, makeup or whatever.

When it comes to boots, I have the opposite of tunnel vision - I'm open to everything!

ETA: I read your second post about the geeking out aspect, and I'd have to say this is the only place I do it. And I'm a climbing geek, but that's not an online thing for me.

Sharon

Veteran

Yeah, clothes are kind of it for me. I have a short, easy to style haircut and I don't wear makeup or perfume at work. I think you are right about channelling energy - I find choosing an outfit to be a very creative process, and so clothes are probably all the outlet I need. Someone who is more creative than me might find they have more creative energy to channel into other areas of style, but I've found my limit with getting dressed in the morning! LOL

HelenInCanada

Veteran

Interesting thread, Fruitful!

I will admit I have a bit of obsessive-compulsiveness in my personality...so if I become intrigued by something, I go gangbusters and delve in to a deep level. For example, when the American election process began earlier this year, I was on the Huffington Post politics page & the New York Times & Politico many times a day checking out who was debating who, when, their platforms, debating in the reader comments, etc., etc...until the whole revolving scandal door made me a little despairing for intelligent debate on the issues. I've cooled on American politics lately, but I DO still check in once a day to Huff Po to read the top stories. This pattern was the same for high profile criminal trials like Warren Jeffs and Casey Anthony too. Since cooled when all that needed to be known about them was done.

Style wise, my hair obsession is done. I found that once I found a style I loved and that works for me - especially when "washing and wearing" - I tried not to get too neurotic about its every frizz and imperfection, and just do my best and use a minimal amount of effective products, and that is it. I used to cry over my hair, but thank God I don't anymore! Whew - the beauty of growing up!

Make-up, I try to keep it simple and flattering. Years of trial and error, and reading beauty magazines like Allure, Vogue and Elle. I know what colours and techniques flatter me (a little eye liner and brow highlighter, and rich plum or red lipstick - or neutral gold tan colour by day - and really don't deviate, no matter what the hottest trends are or what have you. I DO think makeup can make a difference, especially if you are tired or feeling sick, but that it shouldn't take me more than 5 minutes to do each day. I do appreciate the artistry of it, and will admire awesome makeup on others, but it's not my main priority in life.

Fashion is truly a highly visible, impactful way of communicating your personality, mood, status, lifestyle to the world, so it's eternally interesting to me!

So as I've grown older, I try learn to be open to learning what is helpful and fun, and do it in moderation if I find an obsession brewing that stops it from being those 2 things.

ETA: I LOVE perfumes and scents (mainly fruity noted ones) but just enjoy them on a non-intellectual basis, so am not as interested in "discussing" them as I am just l etting the samples speak for themselves!

Aida

Veteran

Interesting question, and interesting responses! I tend to "geek out" with ANY hobby I have, just not usually online

In regards to the idea "creative outfits take enough energy already" I think it's a bit trickier than just that. It's easier to learn and incorporate one or two parts at a time. Ideally you can do each bit without HUGE HUGE amounts of energy, they become more like second nature and no longer stressful yes? And part of that IS your personal style. Some will use more hair/makeup/whatever than others, but the right balance for each is definitely related to their style goals.

For myself, I don't do a lot with my hair besides let it do its naturally curly thing; just focus on keeping good hair cuts (long overdue for that though, I'm afraid); I don't do a lot of makeup, primarily because I like the look of an almost-not-done-up face for myself. These two elements add something organic to my look that I really like, especially as I move to more and more urban elements. But I have experimented in both of these areas enough to realize that this minimal approach fits my style right now.

qfbrenda

Veteran

I do tend to have tunnel vision. I've obsessed about other things, mostly homeschooling and baby wearing. I'm still a home schooler, but I'm not obsessed about curriculum anymore. I just do my thing. I'm not obsessed about baby wearing anymore either, especially since my youngest is 5 yrs old and isn't worn anymore. Fashion is my current "thing" and I don't know how long I'll stay obsessed with it. I might learn enough to stay decently dressed and keep my closet well kept while I move on to another obsession. Or I may stay so into fashion that I eventually work helping others with their closets. I have no idea.

I've never obsessed about make up or hair until the last couple of days. Makeup: I know what I like and put it on every day... no more thought goes into it. Hair I thought I had figured out until yesterday when I decided I need a change. So I posted my question and spent time yesterday looking at hair cut pics. So yeah... I tend to be obsessive.

mm88

Up till now, I've really only cared about how my clothes fit my body and not really bothered with my hair, make up or accessories... mostly because I don't know HOW. *blush*

I wear a uniform to work everyday and wear my hair in a tight bun. And because of the latter, I just tend to leave my hair down as is and not do anything with it most days. My "makeup kit" consists of foundation,mascara and black eyeliner. I have no clue what to do with all the other stuff like eye shadow or those funky coloured liners. haha.

And as for accessories, I guess that's why I'm here, to see/learn from members here and how they put together a complete outfit.

Queen Mum

Veteran

I'm not sure how to answer this question...
I put equal importance on hair, make up and my wardrobe. That doesn't mean I put equal finances or even equal effort as far as shopping, but I don't feel completely put together unless I've tended to my hair, face and outfit for the day.
As far as make-up, I'm in my groove. I don't do alot of experimenting, never have. I find what I like and don't mess with "what ain't broken" I get my hair cut regularly and while I would love to experiment with different styles, I tend to stick with a variation of the same theme. I don't like to rock the boat when my hair is behaving because when it decides to throw a tantrum, it's a doozy
So, I guess my wardrobe is where I put the most creative effort... I can wear the same face and hair day in and day out, but I can't wear the same outfit, so of course that is where I put more of my shopping time and $$.

Aida

Veteran

Kim that's exactly how I feel too (forgot to say it hehe): without "complete" hair and make up, the outfit never feels finished to me.

EDIT: Also have to add that I spend time taking care of myself and my skin, and that is also reflected in my style; the clothing is just one part of the whole puzzle for me. If all the grooming, makeup, hair, accessories etc. aren't right then the outfit won't feel right.

Kate

Veteran

What Kim said is true for me too.

I don't wear any perfume, but I do stick to scents in my toiletries that invigorate me!

Fruitful

Veteran

Ladies, your responses were so interesting that I went into too-dazed-by-the-stimulation-to-reply mode! I've enjoyed reading them all. In part, I'm nodding my head at some things - but on the other hand your responses tend to confirm my obsessiveness is a personal quirk :).

Like JennyAnne, Aida, HelenInCanada, Rae and perhaps more of you (but this wasn't what the question specifically asked), I obsess and geek out about anything I'm interested in - not just style/grooming topics.

Rae, I had not heard of it but I love that you're into WayofCats! It's just this kind of obscurity that attracts me to a topic, and I can definitely see that understanding another species would offer a great deal to dive into.

GP, you're a dark horse! Scuba diving in another life! Great that DH is still into it, I'm sure you'll be able to again too one day!

Helen, you sound like me in the way you were obsessed with a current problem and checking the Huffington Post, then cooled. I too tend to drive my interests very hard until I collapse in a heap and have to cool too! I then fill the void with yet another interest

Brenda, I love that you know yourself and are honest with yourself about how obsessions cycle for you, and that you genuinely don't know how long the fashion interest will stick. I relate. Sometimes an interest lasts as long as a problem and ends with its solution; other times it has more longevity. I still occasionally wrap my 3 year old and have a stack of wraps I should sell! But as for checking in with TBW feverishly several times a day, even at 3 am, I could only sustain that for a few months. Even when I kept babywearing, I got to a point where I no longer wanted to buy more wraps, learn new carries, or meet new mums I'm afraid! I can so imagine being obsessed with homeschooling. I didn't do it but I did some (fascinating) preliminary research. I find what you did, being obsessed then settling down to something sustainable after the initial kick-off, is often how I learn; like I need to go extreme before finding equilibrium.

mm88, it's interesting that you say wearing a uniform means your hair and makeup are the same most days. On the one hand I can understand that - but on the other, wearing a uniform would make me want to put all my energy into the one tthing I could change - my makeup!

Ana, I thought you would like makeup - when I searched YLF for Nars, your lipstick posts came up (sadly without pictures)! I'm thrilled that you're like me and love your perfume samples! Rae, high five for finding the perfume love through reading about CB I Hate Perfume! Isn't it amazing to discover perfume isn't just what scary office ladies wore on public transport in the 1980s? AG, Light Blue is the first perfume that clicked for me and that I truly enjoyed as well. Its citrussy freshness was a revelation after getting asthma attacks from said 1980s scents. (Mind you, the perfume boards are teaching me to enjoy even 1980s scents - verrry sparing application is the key!).

Anya, Mo, Queen Mum, Aida, Kate, Helen, Sharon, AG, RoseandJoan, and Citygirl, you seem to have a sustainable perspective on where hair and grooming fits in, and have chosen one thing - fashion - as your priority, which makes sense (I like that you acknowledge the whole package counts though). Aida, I will try to absorb your gentle advice that changing only one or two things at a time is the way to really incorporate them, without stress.This is where I realise my behaviour is definitely a personal quirk. I simply handle my interests in a more extreme way. As I said, people I "know" online with other interests focus mainly on that interest. Whether it be fashion/style, makeup, hair, or other interests like food, fitness, craft, parenting, organising, television fandoms and journals, I'm all over the shop

You mention being monogamous to YLF. I'm perpetually guilty because the time I spend in any one forum is time I'm neglecting the other ones (not to mention RL)! So you are definitely wise

The funny thing is if you saw me you would think of me as low maintenance. I might only be wearing foundation and mascara, but it took me days to choose that foundation and mascara lol! In fact, I obsess about things not because I'm good at them but because they're foreign to me. And I don't think I'm alone there. Geek-to-chic (or domestically challenged to domestic goddess; acne sufferer to makeup artist; obese to fitness fanatic; etc etc;) this is simply how the story of life often seems to go.

Thanks again for joining me in this enquiry and helping me to understand you and therefore myself a little more! xoxo

banananutmuffin

My hair is wash-and-go. I use a hairdryer maybe 4 time a year. I don't own a curling iron. So I am definitely low maintenance when it comes to my hair.

I have just started wearing scent, but only when I want to feel extra special, so I am low maintenance there, too.

I rarely wear makeup. For me, wearing makeup means some mineral powder or tinted moisturizer, mascara and lipstick. Once a year I might add a little eyeshadow to that.

BUT I am not a creative, exciting dresser, either. In fact, I am probably the world's most boring dresser. I come to YLF for ideas, tips and advice about finding flattering outfits. And, admittedly, I do like to read about the trends so I don't feel hopelessly dated when I step out into the world.

So I guess I am low maintenance about hair, makeup, scent AND fashion. But my interest here puts fashion at the top of my list, I suppose. LOL

nicoleb

(website)

Veteran

Nope i'd say that is the exact opposite of me. I love makeup and i play around with it all the time (you should see my lipstick collection @_@ ), I'm pretty picky about perfumes but i know what i like and wear it almost everyday, I'm not an expert when it comes to hair but i get bored easily and usually let my hair stylist do whatever she wants.

And i have way, way too many hobbies.

Like you, Fruitful, i'm a dabbler.

My husband just calls me high maintenance. >.>

Fruitful

Veteran

Nicole, I'm relieved you're another dabbler! I would LOVE to see your lipstick collection! My makeup collex is embarrassingly small by MUA standards so I'm in awe of more!

Ana

(website)

Veteran

Whoa, I remember those lipstick posts, Fruitful! I don't think I have the photos anymore, it was back before I cut my hair, so probably right after I joined the forum. : )

I just got a batch of perfume samples in the mail yesterday, including one called "The Unicorn Spell" which, I swear, smells like fresh green beans in the bottle. *g*

rachylou

Veteran

Hmm. That would probably be a yes: I'm focused on clothes. I care about my hair, but I farm that out - so it doesn't count. I go through make-up phases, but in my line of work, make-up isn't allowed... so while I play with it, I don't really use it. Perfume makes me ill, so that's a complete non-starter.

Oh, but I do fiddle about with my house a lot. Or at least, I think about it a lot.

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