Do you have stronger reactions as your style gets more defined? - YouLookFab Forum

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Do you have stronger reactions as your style gets more defined?

catgirl

Veteran

I'm finding that as i've managed to pin down my style a bit more (slippery as wet soap!), i'm having faster and more opinionated reactions to things I see... For instance, I was so much more quickly able to pick what would work for me even at overwhelming places like H & M or Zara. And when I don't like something, I'm finding that I REALLY don't like it. It's much more rare than before for me to feel confused or "meh' about a look. on me or others.

For instance, with Sveta's jacket post, I knew right away I wasn't going to be a fan, and I could quickly target the reasons. But then I felt I might be too narrow-minded and stuck in my own ideas about leather jackets.

Does anyone else find they're this way? And does it' mean I'm pickier in a good way, or shutting out possibility?

Dressing

23 replies

Latest reply was from

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I find I have a good idea for what I like for me, but it's harder for me to separate out my own preferences from what might be good on others, as Angie does so well.
I will say that I always knew what I liked visually, the problem was, that didn't always relate to what I was actually 'saying' with my clothes. I still love many different looks, but I'm finding they don't represent me as accurately to the world now that I'm actually thinking about style in that way lol.

deb

Veteran

When I look at others pics, they almost always look good to me. Then I read what others have suggested and I think, oh that would look better. As I look at what is on another person or a maniquin, I usually put it in the perspective if it would look good on me. So, to answer your question, no I have not reached that point yet. But, I am attempting to change my style to reflect who I really am. not what others think I should be. I am finding this very hard to do.

Deborah

Veteran

Thats interesting Una. I would say I am similar in terms of knowing what will work for me and what wont... to the point where i don't bother trying on certain things.
I can look at a garment and know if it's going to hit me at the right spot, if the shape is going to flatter me, etc.

However I have learnt here not to be too quick to negate a new trend. Prior to YLF slouchy pants would not even warranted consideration, however YLF has also encouraged me to be more open minded to things and now I have a couple of pairs of slouchy pants in my wardrobe, however the key to them being successful was knowing how to wear them so I look like 'me'.

Before YLF i was very cut and dried about what I liked and what I didn't and would have a strong and immediate reaction to garments. However now after a year at YLF, I have found that I am much more curious and questioning of things now.

rae

(website)

Veteran

On myself, and on others when I already know their personality and style, YES. I can eliminate so much more from the swap meet and do it so much faster than I used to. There was a time when I felt like I wanted everything in every store, and now I feel lucky if I find one great piece after a full day of shopping (which means I feel VERY lucky after this weekend).

I am still more hesitant at Dress for Success, though. It can be hard to gauge each woman's personality right off the bat if they are not outgoing.

rachylou

Veteran

That's an interesting question. As I've gone along on YLF, I've realized I have a style and I've been wearing it since 1974! Moreover, it's a style that takes very little account of things like figure flattery or details. I need to crack my approach open, quite honestly.

As regards other people, I'm pretty self-absorbed. Got to face those facts. I don't think I'd ever be able to do what Angie does. Oh sure, pick a piece here and there. But to build someone a whole wardrobe in their style? Hells bells! If someone came to me wanting to look like one of those gals on *Big Rich Texas*... I have only the vaguest ideas there about black mascara, blonde hair, nude lipstick and putting a plastic surgeon speed dial.

Mochi

Veteran

How weird. My first interpretation of your post title was about other people--are they giving you funnier looks now that you're honing your style.

I could see it going two ways--people getting more open to new things or else, not close-minded at all but simply so strong in their self-awareness that they don't waiver or hesitate, and can afford a very cut-and-dried methodology. Neither approach seems wrong to me.

Maybe it's not quite the same thing, but in a Pinterest-esque way I've been collecting images of outfits and looks, and just recently was looking at some of them that I so coveted...and not feeling particularly strongly about them anymore. For myself, that is. Not sure if that's answering your question, but I guess it's some form of the excess or not-quite-appropriate just naturally falling away like dead skin.

Anonymous

Well, I do know what works for my body type and what items and proportions are more flattering on me, but I do have a pretty open mind as far as the style itself, so I seldom have a knee jerk reaction to something unless it is just not flattering. I differ from a lot of you in the sense that I do not have a personal goal to create or hone on a signature style, as I get bored pretty easily. For instance, I still wear all jean cuts, because I get "bored" of the same skinny jean. Sometimes I enjoy an oversized blouse, then the next day I want something form fitting, 'cause I am "bored". If I do end up - or I already have - a signature " Zap look", I think is going to happen organically.

As far as others, my biggest block is when something is not conventionally flattering. Often times I cannot get past it, so I cannot offer any opinion.

Diana

Veteran

Well, I have a pretty good sense of what is good for me, my body, and my style, and as my style becomes more defined, it's easier for me to tell straight off the bat whether or not something is my style. (Sometimes I still need extra eyes for fit though!). With pieces for others, if it's someone whose style I'm pretty familiar with (for example, someone who posts a lot of WIWs here) I think I can usually be open minded enough to try to see it through the lens of their own style. (Poisoned eyes excepted of course). Where I run into trouble is when I don't know someone's style very well. Then I think I tend to default to my own style, which is admittedly pretty weird sometimes and not always conventionally flattering. This is probably also not all that useful if the poster is someone with a very different body type than mine, although perhaps in that case I might actually go overboard the other way (i.e. "that looks SO GOOD on your strong shoulder line because I am super jealous of your IT shoulders, therefore you must keep!")

ironkurtin

Veteran

For me it's less that I really dislike things that aren't my style, just that I immediately know if I would wear it or not. I'm pretty fussy for someone who shops so much, and getting fussier.

Aida

Veteran

Hmm good question! Yes to things that are on the body (whether me or someone else), but I do my best not to count something out without trying it unless I truly, truly know it won't work. There are only a handful of things I flat out don't try for myself (cardigans come to mind), and these are usually things I've consciously decided to leave OUT of my style. But even then, if I see a great item I'll often try it, just to see. I'm sure you noticed while shopping I'm fairly open to everything 0:)

Aziraphale

Veteran

Haha, well, as I'm sure you know, being opinionated is one of my more irritating faults. But I try to work on it, even with clothes. That's why it's nice to shop with someone else. Sometimes they suggest stuff I wouldn't otherwise have picked out. It's true that at times I just know something won't work on my figure, or else I just plain think it's ugly, but other times something that looks "whatever" on the rack actually looks pretty cool on. So yes, I try to be somewhat open-minded.

DonnaF

Veteran

Good question, Una. Before YLF, I would dismiss LOTS of styles/clothing out of hand. Now, I will at least try/buy a greater variety, particularly Angie Picks, even if I ultimately end up returning it. In the past, I never would have considered the VC slouchy cream & white pants or the Remain polka dot pullover. But you have a point: I have identified funky and playful as an aspect of my style, so maybe that's why those items spoke to me? Hmmmm.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I think I'm still kind of "behind" when it comes to knowing for sure, on myself and on others. I still make more mistakes than I would like and when I see something on someone that my eye says doesn't work, I often can't pinpoint why.

catgirl

Veteran

I guess I'm thinking in terms of shopping for myself. I think I have a pretty good eye for items that will work on others too, but when it comes to my own purchases, I was really glad to be fairly honed down in my choices even in the Topshop section of Nordstrom, Zara, and the other new-to-me places we wandered into along the way.

Seems like for some people the style journey involves branching out and exploring beyond their comfort zone, and for others like me who are all over the place, it's about narrowing down.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Excellent point Una - pre YLF I was an extremely conservative dresser so for me, my journey has been about exploring b beyond my comfort zone BIG TIME! But this also makes it harder to know what works for me on a consistent basis.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I do think my opinions are more definite, and I am good about sizing a piece of clothing without regard to the label, but I think YLF has actually opened my mind a lot as to other style priorities and preferences. So I can see things that wouldn't have made any sense to me (more often because they seemed too bodycon or too conventional for my taste) and appreciate them now.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I was more like you, Una, in having a bit of everything in my closet (aside from conservative office wear). If it looked good on me and I found it 'cute' it came home. And never left. I had decades of bargain cute scores that had no cohesiveness. So I get it when you talk about narrowing your focus in the shops to what you want your style to include. One of the hard lessons has been that just because something fits and looks good, doesn't mean it's for me or expresses my style. That's been a big hurdle in purging and purchasing wisely, and I'm getting better by the month

MsLuna

Veteran

I'm still on the fence with picking up styles for myself. I do have strong reactions against classic looks though, but when classic looks are on others (and it's well put together), I really react more positively.

Usually, when looking at other people, I tend to be less about my aesthetic and more about the overall picture. I'm very objective when it comes to visual things, but that's possibly due to my design training However, with regards to MY OWN stuff - that's a different story.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

These days I'm simultaneously keeping a more open mind, AND getting pickier and having stronger reactions. I'm finding that I'm more willing to try things on that I normally would have written off, and also dismissing some things to which I have a knee-jerk attraction, but I know aren't really part of my aspirational style, they're things best left in the past. How's that for a style paradox?

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Oh thank you Una for using my leather jacket fiasco as an example!
There are some things I have a strong opinion about and there are some I don't...both on me and on others. I think in my style I am more intuitive than analytical - and this is really strange because I am super analytical in everything else!
I do know that I have a better grasp on my style now that 2 years ago and also I am more open to try something new. I try to keep an open mind but also I trust my instincts. Getting back to that fiasco: my instinct told me right away NO, I just was not sure it was right:-)
one thing I noticed that I became more open to styles very different from mine. I can now appreciate an interesting outfit even if I would never wear it myself... I guess this is all Angie's good influence...

Gaylene

Veteran

I think getting older has made me less inclined to experiment and more inclined to refine, if that makes any sense. For me, the fun in fashion now is finding those unique pieces that give me a high happiness quotient when I wear them. (I do so love Jayne's term!) I find myself more and more reluctant to spend time and energy experimenting with trends and listening to others to "find" my style. Pushing one's comfort zone sounds good in theory, but I think refining is giving me better results than experimenting. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think I've developed a more distinctive style by trusting my instincts instead of trying to emulate others or listening to their opinions.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Up until the last year or so I've been very open to the new & the different & to experimenting to see if things can work for me. I don't feel I want to do that any more. I thought it was to do with my age but maybe it's a fork in the road some people take.

I have really been wanting to narrow things down & then refine them & just have the best (within body & budget restraints). I want a smaller & more focused wardrobe. As I move towards these goals I find myself becoming pickier & pickier & I no longer crave variety the way I used to do. I can MOSTLY tell myself just because it's nice doesn't mean I have to have it, leave it for someone who loves it. This is why I love seeing all the people on the forum wearing so many different styles or the same style in different ways.

In some ways I feel as though I've come full circle I've always known what worked best on my body & my mother taught me how to find quality clothing everywhere from second-hand to designer. I feel I've now come back to a place where these things are the most important.

Anonymous

It usually takes me a while to adapt my wardrobe to new silouettes, so it's a learning process. I've come to appreciate the many and varied looks that look fab on those who can wear them. I feel I have a very good idea of what looks good on me and what doesn't, as well as which looks I want to try and which I wish to pass up. That said, I try to keep myself open to new ideas, and I don't want to look dated.