Do you give your boss a holiday gift? - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Off Topic

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Do you give your boss a holiday gift?

marianna

Veteran

I've been with my current company for only 6 months, so I'm not sure what is the norm here, or the norm anywhere actually. Do you give your boss a holiday gift? If so, what do you usually give? And if not, why not?

I obviously don't want to look like I'm trying too hard but I LOVE my new job and my boss is fantastic, so I would like to show my appreciation. Maybe with a bottle of wine or something?

And if you are a manager/boss, I'd love your thoughts on the matter too.

Thank you in advance!

Off Topic

28 replies

Latest reply was from Adelfa

El Cee

Veteran

I have worked predominantly in small businesses and small non-profit agencies where it has been customary for bosses and staff to exchange gifts… nothing too expensive (usually in the $20-$30 range), and nothing too personal. Here is a brief list of some of the gifts that have been exchanged: stationery/writing paper, scarves, leather gloves, books, champagne/wine/craft beers, gourmet food items, gourmet coffee/tea, concert or sporting events tickets, sports-centric gifts (such as items with logo of a favorite team), picture frames, wallets, music CD's, fancy calendars/dayminders, and (of course) gift cards.

Regarding your own office, might you be able to ask a trusted coworker what is customary in your particular situation? I have done just that in the past.

MsMary

Veteran

I am a boss, and I would strongly prefer that my assistant and others did NOT give me holiday gifts. Miss Manners and every other etiquette expert says gifts should only flow DOWN the organization chart. Three reasons I can think of off the top of my head: (a) it can look like subordinates are trying to curry favor, (b) it makes me uncomfortable for lower-earners to spend their money buying things for higher-earners, and (c) I always buy gifts for them and it turns it from a nice gesture of appreciation by me into a quid-pro-quo exchange.

That said, a card with a heartfelt note would be lovely and I'm sure would be appreciated much more than a gift. And if you absolutely can't help yourself, a bottle of wine would be okay. But really, my emphatic vote is "no gifts for bosses!"

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

I am with Mary K on this one, for the reasons she stated!

However... I've always been a big believer that there is no situation in any workspace, that isn't improved with a couple of bags of M&Ms, at any time of year. I usually bring at least two: one that is peanut or peanut butter, and a non-peanut version because so many people have peanut allergies. I brought Pretzel M&M's backstage during tech week for the last show I did, and you would have thought I'd discovered a cure for cancer, people got so excited. It improves morale, makes everyone cheerful, and it's one of the most democratic 'gifts' you can give your co-workers and boss.

FlorenceFearne

Another one here agreeing with MaryK and LBD. Gifts flow down the org chart, not up. The "Ask A Manager" site has addressed this multiple times also. If you really appreciate your boss, a heartfelt note/card and maybe some candy you know they love (under $10) is acceptable, but there really shouldn't be more than that.

Liz A.

Veteran

I'm also with maryK. The only exception I could see myself making is if I were close personal friends with my boss. I probably am sensitive but I would feel badly if my boss did not give me anything even though I am a new employee this year and rather reserved at work. I've come to see the boss-to-employee gift as the norm although I found it very odd the first time it happened. Hmmmm.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I gave sort of like a gag gift - a CD of Christmas Stories by a radio host; so that someone can entertain her with funny stories when I'm not around.

I don't expect a gift from my boss.

Louise

Veteran

Depends how big the team is and how closely you work together. I run a small childcare setting within a school. There are 5 of us and I'm counted in ratios so work 'on the shop floor' as it were and we exchange gifts at Christmas and birthdays. I always buy them a thank you gift at the end of the school year which I make clear is not to be reciprocated as it's my thank you to them for all their hard work over the year. I also buy them chocs or flowers if we've had a difficult few weeks such as earlier this year when we were short staffed and they all did extra hours to help me out x

Nicole D

Veteran

I always buy my boss the best that I can afford (I'm self-employed!). Agree with others that I will accept cards and small tokens from my employees but would not like them to spend more than a few bucks on me (I get Lindt truffles).

catgirl

Veteran

What MaryK said. My staff gave me a boss's day card (whoever invented THAT?!) and often will bake goodies but we gave them gift cards for the holidays and I would feel very awkward being bought anything.

Diana

Veteran

No, for the reason MaryK stated. If you really wanted to give something I'd stick with a nice card. Or, something edible (homemade or not, if purchased something not too expensive) for the whole office. Don't single out just the boss.

My boss generally gives us chocolates; I think he would find it really weird if any of his employees were to get him anything. He also has an explicit rule that when he has parties at his house nobody is allowed to bring anything except their families.

marianna

Veteran

Great, very helpful responses from all. Thank you. I will take your advice and probably not get him anything... I definitely don't want to cross any boundaries or make him feel uncomfortable! I may consider a nice greeting card... that seems like an appropriate compromise.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Back when I had a boss that wasn't me, I would take homemade cookies or treats in for my boss and closest coworkers. I even took some to the radio station this year even though I'm just a fill-in part-timer. They've made it known that they value my presence there, and I wanted to do a little something to show my appreciation as well.

Susie

Veteran

I agree with not gifting up. That said, I always give my boss a token gift, usually something edible and homemade. This year it will be toffee.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

While I also agree with MaryK, I am buying a small gift for the director I report to but only because with the organizational changes this year, my team and my direct supervisor are the only ones in the city. I always take my team out for lunch and if I hadn't included my boss, she would not have had anyone from the unit to celebrate with over the holidays. Since I picked up a small gift for the rest of the group, I got her one too.

Normally I wouldn't do so for all the reasons mentioned.

My team members bought me a gift two years ago and last year I suggested that we all make donations to a women's shelter (someone collected in the office) in lieu of gifts. It was mainly because I wasn't comfortable with them buying me a gift.

anne

Veteran

Maybe things are different in Australia. - But I am with Louise (small team, shared duties etc). I gave everyone including my immediate manager a small box of chocolates. She gave us chocolate too.

amiable

Veteran

I send my manager some homemade jam, and don't expect a gift from him. But given what MaryK and others said - I'm glad I have never given something big to my boss. Homemade jam is definitely in the "acceptible" price-range, and I don't want to curry favor, just express my appreciation for the job and his good managerial skills.

JAileen

Veteran

I'm not working now, but when I was, I never gave my boss a gift. I thought doing a good job and working hard was enough.

Lisa

Veteran

This is a very interesting topic. I actually have always given my boss a gift. usually a bottle of wine or a box of chocolate. I thought it was the thing to do. This year my boss is getting flavored honey, because I know they took time off of work to learn about bee keeping. I've never gotten a "gift" from my boss at my current job, but we do get bonuses so I figured that was the gift.

I like to idea to NOT give a gift, but since I have done so in the past, wouldn't it be weird if I just suddenly stopped doing so?

retailgirl

Veteran

I am a boss, and I feel awkward when someone who works for me gives me a gift. One of my employees gives me a half bottle of champagne every year, and that is nice, and two others give me fudge and candy that they make. But they give these small gifts to everyone in our department, so I think thats OK. I don't give my boss a gift, and I haven't in most places I've worked.

MsMary

Veteran

Lisa, if you want to stop, stop. It might be a teeny tiny bit awkward this year (although probably mostly on your slde -- he will probably be relieved!), but then you will have set yourself free forever.

Lisa

Veteran

MaryK-Very true! I never considered if my gift every year was awkward for the receiver before. It's nice to get the insight. Now I have to figure out what to do with flavored honey (I don't care for honey).

MsMary

Veteran

Give it to the food drive! People who are in financial difficulties love fancy food as much as the rest of us!

ironkurtin

Veteran

I love all the bosses who gift their subordinates! This was a nicety I surely missed in many years of video games, when my rich but unsocialized bosses didn't do a darn thing. Sheez. Maybe they thought it would be weird giving a woman a gift. But I always deeply appreciate gifts, especially so back in the early days when I was very strapped for luxuries and a little gift (like the coach subway pass holder I got one year) was super special.

I only ever gave my bosses things if they were also good friends, but they were always little things - a windup toy, a paperback book they had mentioned, or other nice gesture - to show I thought of them but not to make things awkward. Giving a little toy for a kid is also a nice thing, in my opinion.

I think you've gotten great advice here, though, so follow your heart.

marianna

Veteran

Thanks, all. Our company treats us well during the holidays (luncheon, gift card, gift basket...) so I'm not sure if I will get something directly from my boss, but I'm not expecting anything. Currently I am leaning towards NOT getting my boss anything... your advise confirmed my gut feelings that it's probably better not to.

rachylou

Veteran

I say no too. Your company should throw you (the staff) a party and give bonuses and gift cards, and everyone should call it day.

That said, I did have a boss with whom I exchanged gifts - that is, I'd send something like a gift basket to him inclusive of his parents because we were kith.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

We used to give our CEOs Jasmine and Rosie gifts every year. Treats and toys with extra love, walkies and snuggles.

marianna

Veteran

Angie, your CEOs deserved those gifts and more. xo

Adelfa

Veteran

I've been on the job for a week We had a door-decorating contest. I didn't want to compete but felt I needed to participate so I got a wreath at the farmer's market. My boss has admired it extravagantly. It has peppers in it! I was going to give it to her when I leave for the holidays. That's not currying favor, is it? It's a used wreath