Do you create more mess and clutter daily than you clean up? - YouLookFab Forum

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Do you create more mess and clutter daily than you clean up?

unfrumped

Veteran

Well, I do, or have done.
Some time I will do a follow - up on my whole- house KonMari- in-progress.

But I'm finding I really need to be mindful of what all I pull out or do daily because each "do" comes with some amount of needing to put away, wash or whatever, and what gets me in trouble is that it's SO easy to have more mess being made than is cleaned up.
Think of coming in the house, perhaps with groceries or packages, then mail, fix dinner, change clothes, start a project. If each of these activities is done to complete cleanup/ putaway, it seems to take all available time. But if I skate on something here or there, allow my "drop-itis" an inch, then before you know it, I will need a whole day or a weekend, or more, to put things to rights.

None of this is news- it's the stuff of clutter/ organizing strategies from forever. But I find myself more mindful now of how easy it is to get behind because I have things I really want to do with my " spare" time.
A tie- in with wardrobe/ fashion is how deadly it is to have too much wardrobe indecision or going through multiple combos when trying to get ready, because that's lots more things to put back when it's hard to even put one outfits' worth away!
Where KonMari process is helping is that in some areas or categories where real " tidying" has been done, progress is made, then, partly because of having a more clear cut " place for everything" , so these areas of categories take less time to maintain than before.

I still think that there is some kind of delusion that " I don't have time to do this right NOW " ( putting away, cleaning up ) when, in fact, there won't be another time.
Not to be just dreary, it's made me think more of choices / trade offs such as, should I just have a bowl of cereal for supper instead of fixing, doing dishes ( which, occasionally anyway, would actually be good for me); am I underutilizing the " uniform" dressing; what things am I doing just from HABIT that require cleanup and putaway time that I could cut down? Then use the time either for a whole new thing or to tidy up and save weekend or other time for something better?

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32 replies

Latest reply was from unfrumped

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I am definitely dealing with this with my new busy work schedule. I spent Christmas Day cleaning up, since I had just been leaving messes all week on my way to and from work. Its hard become I really don't have time sometimes, but then my messes get added to by the rest of the family. I'm trying to organize everything, but that takes extra time!

rachylou

Veteran

I think about this. I definitely make more mess than I clean up daily. When I'm *good*, I do a big tidy-up once a week. Had the thought the other day that I should just accept this about myself, the non-daily tidy. There's something about lots of little every day that bogs me down emotionally and mentally. I become even more brittle than I already am. Slow. Grind to a halt eventually. I need extraordinary routine to do it also, and I don't get that in my life. I get upset as it is with interruptions to my plans. It just makes me more irritable.

Helen11

Veteran

Oh my goodness, my place is a disaster. There are days worth of tidying before I can start the desired cleaning and decluttering.
So I'm here on YLF instead. Eek!

unfrumped

Veteran

I'm not saying that the routine had to be to return the home to pristine shape every day. Of course there will be the laundry in the basket and " things to do". Or tines to do catch- up or to batch jobs of putting things away.

It's more a mindfulness similar to one in/ one out, with clothing. That if I don't want to have a huge job waiting, I have to keep up, and to have less to keep up, I have to streamline those areas.
Kondo talks about the daily upkeep as different from her big " tidying" concept and so it was interesting to me that I had to work on both, but that they help each other.

Summer

Veteran

I'm quite tidy by nature, so I don't often have to tackle a huge clear-up - after my own projects, that is. Hubby, on the other hand, has never had the knack of clearing up as he goes!

Sisi

Veteran

Yes, definitely. As a friend of mine often says: Your capability to create chaos is incredible! I have fought against my messy nature all my life and finally some years ago I decided to just give up. I happily live in my chaos until the day when I feel what I call "the right raptus" and in a few hours I tidy up everything.

Joyce B

Veteran

What you said here is very right and it's really not that hard to do:
"I still think that there is some kind of delusion that " I don't have time to do this right NOW " ( putting away, cleaning up ) when, in fact, there won't be another time." "
It's much easier to deal with small stuff right away than to deal with a lot at the same time. As always, the best cure (and the easiest) is prevention.
I deal with my groceries right away, also with the junk mail, it goes straight from my mailbox to the recycling bag. Maybe the mail lady should just put it straight in the recycling bag for me! I also find it much easier to deal with the daily clothes and the worn clothes right away.
I still can use Marie Kondo as I have things that need to get organized but other priorities take my time...

cindysmith

Veteran

We live in an RV until we can build our small house. It's really easy to get overwhelmed by clutter and unfinished tasks. I am my mother's child (she's kinda OCD with the cleaning), so I'm pretty good at keeping my clutter contained. DH is not. We used to have "discussions" about it regularly; now I just save my energy for hunting season because that is when he is the worst. I tend to keep up with stuff like laundry really well (or so I think) but it never fails that the minute I get done washing/drying/folding/putting away a large amount of laundry, he cleans out his truck and brings me at least one and a half loads of sweatshirts etc from his truck (and of course they're filthy).

His cluttered nature has made me far better at keeping mine under control because there is no room in our RV for two people's clutter and there is no room in my head for the stress of dealing with two people's clutter.

We've been doing it for six and a half years now, this RV thing. I am sick to death of it. We want to live as tiny and as mindfully as possible, but this isn't working. For all the storage in an RV, there is a shocking lack of PRACTICAL AND USEFUL storage. Cabinets are stupid tiny, the kitchen is insane small, the bedroom "closet" is a joke...

I'm tired of the never ending game of Tetris involved with something as simple as making a sandwich or eating a bowl of cereal. Forget anything complicated like baking, or making chicken cordon bleu.

My major problem with housework is dusting. With allergies like mine, it needs to be done daily. But DH is a brick mason, and he literally makes dirt. He comes in from work, he empties his pockets, and dust goes poofing out of his pants fabric. My mother would be horrified at the dust in my living room. I'm horrified at the dust in my living room.

After 6.5 years of RV living, I have had plenty of time to think about what I would like in a small house. We will be building a house with around 650 square feet, and eventually we will add a mudroom/art studio onto it. I'm planning out what I need in my head, and there will be a lot of built in cabinet type stuff going on in my house. The trick will be getting DH to USE it. I'm tired of looking at his clutter and I'm tired of being the one who always gets rid of "stuffs" to make room for his never ending stream of "stuffs". (In his defense, a lot of his stuff is practical and useful. He might hoard hunting gear and art supplies but he isn't one of those TV show hoarder types. He just refuses to be inconvenienced by having to reach into a drawer on the coffee table to pull out a hunting magazine or his keys or wallet... You get the picture)

Sorry for taking your comment thread hostage with my word vomit. It just happened along as we are in the planning stage of my little house while all thus is fresh on my mind.

Hope you can find some balance with your clutter/Kon-Mari. Maybe I will have to get her book for DH. He's really into neuroscience, philosophy, and self help; maybe it will get thru to him. I look forward to any follow up you're willing to share with us, because I'm always open to ideas for dealing with my house.

Anonymous

Check out Flylady.com. It is how I came to find YLF. Flylady, ( the FLY is for Finally Loving Yourself, breaks down the cleaning process into small sections. For me, the most important lesson was to see that I could do a lot in just a few minutes. Her routines are healthy for mind and body. It takes less than a minute each morning to make the bed. It takes seconds to swish and wipe down the bathroom each morning.
I learned that I am a person who likes to see a difference after cleaning. Then it is a creative act and allows for messes to accumulate. It was hard to scrub a floor that looked clean, but much faster in the long run.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I am a clutter-free neat freak. I clean up and straighten up immediately after there is mess. I can't help it. I am obsessive about it.

Liz A.

Veteran

I know just what you mean, unfrumped. I live with my husband and 2 cats in a 1000sf condo. If I don't tidy up for 2 days straight, I start to get SO IRRITABLE. I just can't bear the clutter. I probably leave more clutter than my husband, but I am much more inclined to straighten up. Oh, it just drives me crazy! I do not know how to get over it.

I think a bigger house could help, like for instance if we just had an area where we could close off the clutter if friends come over. But then you run the risk of never straightening up that area. I kinda like having a small house sometimes, because it forces me (and the husband through me) to get rid of things we don't need.

And back to your original point, I am a do things the minute they come up person. My husband will never get on board. I am now reading a book about habit formation, trying to help us both improve on our weaknesses.

rachylou

Veteran

That's very interesting about creating mess and changing what you do to create less of it.

I find it all very emotional. My mother is a one bowl, one spoon person. She only has one set of dishes out for herself. Feels it's tidier. Creates less mess. This bugs the bejeezus out of me to do this for myself. It may be because I have the metabolism of a child...or well, a diabetic. When I'm hungry I need to eat. NOW. The wait to wash even one glass is too long. And then I have hidden rules. If my rule is to tidy as I go, I have to wash all the cookware before, so dinner gets cold - and then I have to wash the dinnerware immediately after. It stresses me out. I get no peace at mealtime, and I have a big hidden rule that mealtime is peacetime. This one is set in stone, whereas the tidying one is not. I also feel like it's a waste of time because I feel I get economy of scale by doing more dishes at once. I think I use more dish soap and water doing one plate over and over throughout the day than four at once.

No doubt others do not have crazy thoughts like this, lol.

Ok. Dishes are a special issue for me. I also like to buy them. I have different dishes for different moods, lol.

kkards

Veteran

I.am.a.clulterer. It is part of who I am. I have no desire to KonMari anything. I make a mess,I have clulter, yes doing a little everyday would save time....but really all it would do, for me, is make every day a little more dreary,,,,I prefer to bundle my dreariness into a an hour or so one day a week.

columbine(erin)

Veteran

We have have way more stuff in my house but I tidy as I go and have my kids tidy as they go. The hubby is not tidy, oh well. Tries to humor me though. Clutter makes me nuts. It's a complex left over from being an EMT and having to rescue hoarder types a few times and seeing house fires.

unfrumped

Veteran

Cynthia, you might like The Not So Big House book by Susanka. It's not really about micro houses, but about how so many residential home builders try to solve problems with just more space and rooms, rather than functional design, and she gives really good examples.

I think I'm mostly re/ evaluating how I make choices. If I really want to read part of a book in my brief spare time after work one evening, I may need to focus on that and skip cooking a real dinner. If I want to take a spur of moment trip on Saturday, I'd best fit in more chores during the week.
KonMari also fits in when I'm looking at a cluttered counter and differentiate between things that just need to go back to their little places, vs. realize not all the things I see there are necessary/ spark joy and I don't want them at all.

Gaylene

Veteran

Being the only female in a household of males, I learned to curb my anti-clutter tendencies; it was either that or become a nagging lunatic. I've come to think of clutterers and tidiers as two ends of a spectrum. If your current level of clutter doesn't bother you, then don't let the KonMariers make you feel bad. BUT, if the clutter stresses you, then figure out your boundaries and let the rest go.

I insisted on made beds, laundry in the laundry basket, clean bathrooms, and dirty dishes rinsed and put in the dishwasher or sink. To make it easier, I switched to European-style duvet-only bed linens, big laundry baskets, spray cleaner and old towels in every bathroom, and a big kitchen sink. I turned a blind eye to books on every surface, sports gear in the corners, and cluttered counters. If stuff got in my way, I had a couple of large baskets that I tossed it into--nothing like wading through a pile of school papers, sports bottles, and jackets to locate elusive car keys as they were making a mad dash to practice to make the boys suggest it would be better to hang keys on a hook near the door. The older one actually purchased individual cubbies for each family member, installed them near the door, and LABELLED them with each person's name--all the while admonishing everyone it was time to shape up! Loved that moment!

Gigi

Veteran

Ugh, this is so me! I blame it on physics and the law of entropy.

One thing that helped me for a while was to say that at night, before I go to bed, I will tidy up or pick up just five things. It's hard to get up and get moving when it's bedtime, but if I say I'll just pick up five things, it's not so overwhelming. Usually, after I've put five things away, I have enough energy that I might do another few. It does seem to make a difference as the days wear on. I should really get back to it...I don't remember why I stopped.

anne

Veteran

Unfrumped I do so relate to many of the things you said!
I'm not a very tidy person, and often don't weigh up the effort to do something and the mess it will make. My husband will sigh at my tendency to embark on ambitious, mess creating cooking project just after I have cleaned up the kitchen!

I let, and even encourage my children to cook, especially when school isn't on - and this tends towards mess. We like them to do "creative" things before they have screen time and that can be untidy. Our house is lived in and it looks like it. My children do lots of helping out but I don't hold them to adult standards.

And I have limited energy and just won't stay up late for the sake of tidiness. It is often 9:30 or 10 by the time I have finished putting children to bed and hopefully washed up but there is always more tidying that can be done and I just have to say stop, close my eyes to it and relax and go to be early enough to get enough sleep (which I don't get anyway).

I also have issue with differing sleep cycles. I can't make my bed in the morning as I leave work before my husband wakes up. By nighttime I'm so tired I often don't put my lounge clothes away - in fact wear them to be half the time. Saturday mornings I do tidying and cleaning (and run) and DH sleeps. By Sat afternoon when he is up and I could get into our room to tidy I often need a sleep again!

Anyway I'm rambling a little. To your points - yes sometimes you need to consider the balance of energy and cleaning. If I'm having a busy week I try to think of simple meals, if I want a big Saturday outing I try to have a slow cooker meal prepared beforehand or maybe get take away.

But sometimes the activity is mess is worth the mess.

Diana

Veteran

Haha yes. I figure it's a law of physics. Entropy always increases. ;). But seriously I like living/having a tidy home but I am not by nature a tidy or organized person. My husband is better than me but definitely not a super organized minimalist either. So it takes effort and energy I don't always have. It is what it is. What usually happens is that things will build up to an unacceptable level and then we will get fed up and do a. If clean up.

I have tried to develop some small daily habits but it is hard work!

rabbit

Veteran

Like Angie I'm a compulsive tidier. I grew up in a very cluttered home and it was constantly stressful for me because it was part of a general lack of routines, no regular times for meals, sleeping or eating, and always racing the clock to get out of the house, unable to find needed things. Cleaning was a big burden because there was so much stuff to deal with before you could reach the surfaces that needed to be cleaned.

Then I went to live with my in laws for awhile and observed how people lived neatly in a smaller house and on a more relaxed schedule. They were maybe less ambitious about what they would do during a specific day, one or two errands or outings, one project a week, etc. A lot of buffer time to prepare, drive to, or clean up after an activity and also a lot of enjoyable quiet time to sip tea and watch the birds.

Since then I've tended to adopt the same do less, enjoy the day and the space more approach, and I enjoy tidying up in the morning before starting the days work and once again before going to bed. It's one of the ways I order and quiet my mind. Then again I think it can be totally different with young kids as time works differently - more as a series of moments, discoveries, and enthusiasms.

I have deep sympathy for those living with partners with opposite tendencies to their own, especially in a small space. Having territorial 'zones' where one partner's rules apply, and having a set of general guidelines for key areas of shared space (like the fridge, couch and dining table) makes sense, that's what I do with family visits now.

pil

Veteran

The title of this thread could be tattooed on my forehead. Apparently I am clutter-blind.

Anonymous

I'm organized and tidy, but not OCD. I don't want to make problems with family members who are messy, so I put up with a bit of clutter.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I'm quite a bit like Angie and Rabbit in this regard. Not a minimalist, but my environment needs to be organized and clean or I feel very out of sorts. I've always been that way, even as a child. Fortunately, my husband has a similar threshold for mess (or lack thereof), so our living styles are quite compatible. His ex-wife was a hoarder and didn't clean, so he was pretty thankful to find we are much more like-minded!

I do tend to hang onto too much "stuff" but it tends to be neatly stored and organized -- what I think of as "clutter behind closed doors." I'd like to get better at eliminating more of that so that someday it won't be so hard to downsize to a smaller home.

Staysfit

Veteran

Ugh, I think I'm a bit like Angie. I like my space tidy. I can't work or concentrate if there is a mess. Counters must be clear and clean. My shelves are organized and even my cabinets are orderly. I live with a disorganized son and husband though, so there is a yin-yang thing going on here. It's much easier since DS left for college. I am not a hoarder. I toss out what I'm not using any more. My biggest collection are the sweaters in my wardrobe and I have fewer now than in the past.

unfrumped

Veteran

I can so relate to Anne and rabbit.
I don't exoect to have a pristine home and do have many days when things are likely to pile up.
But I also really benefit from some order and " happy rooms" that look inviting, relaxed, so I'm noticing which of my activities and habits are working for or against me.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

I'm working on this. And making progress. But I have year(s) to go.

Today was bittersweet. My piano left my house for a home where it will actually be played. It has taken me many years to let it go, even though it was only played by visitors a few times a year. But with it went the fact that DS2 had wanted to learn, but I missed the moment. And the dream of a home filled with live music. And the guilt that my parents spent money on it (it was used, so luckily not a huge amount). And the guilt that I gave it away and did not try to recoup the money spent.

As far as more coming in than going out, I realized that with the mail and newspapers there are interesting articles that I cut out. And information about interesting programs I might want to attend. One step has been to try and decide immediately if they are interesting enough to actually schedule. That's maybe made me cut out half what I used to. But that should be cut down more.

Another realization was that I ran late because I didn't schedule time to walk to the car, get out of my driveway (due to traffic, sometimes it takes a while), park, and walk into the building and find the specific place I'm going.

I just recently realized that I never consider time to put things away. So, I leave myself enough time to get ready, but not time to put away what I didn't end up wearing, as someone else said.

A friend of mine who works long hours eats at Chipotle a few nights a week. At first I didn't understand, but then I realized with her schedule, and her income, not shopping, cooking, and cleaning up was well worth a fairly healthy, inexpensive meal.

Sometimes I remember to wash extra lettuce and keep it in the crisper, cook extra veggies, etc, which saves prep time and clean up time. I've always thought that if I was single I would make a big pot of soup and eat it for dinner 3-4 nights a week. So many less dishes, and I'd be perfectly happy.

I want a balance. I realize that just because I'm not using something doesn't mean that I should get rid of it. But I want to be careful which categories I apply that to. So, yes on jewelry and art supplies, but mostly no on others.

But I am looking at my reasons to keep things and evaluating those reasons. I've also started to think, will DS1 and DS2 ever want the stuff in the garage (that isn't their stuff we're holding)? And if I'm not using it, and they're not going to want it, maybe it needs to go.

The items I've gotten rid of I've rarely missed. I love how much easier it is to find the cooking utensils I want in my drawer since I eliminated half of them. And I threw out my old silverware and use my nicer stainless daily.

It seems like once the mess leaves there is more ease.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

I also am aware that although we have already inherited things from my DH's parents, one day I will want some of my parent's things. It will help if the house isn't over full. And of my stuff, I don't want my kids to have to get rid of things that I really should have gotten rid already. Luckily, my mom has started to dig out their house, as they have been there 55 years, and there is a lot there.

Isabel

Veteran

YES !!!!! Then multiply that by four. Then we end up spending an ENTIRE day cleaning. We are starting a purge at our house. I don't want more stuff than we can handle.

Anonymous

What an interesting conversation and I'm sorry I didn't get into it when it was more current and active! I am always interested in how other people live - and this is great. I relate very much to Rabbit and Gaylene's comments - although they are not the same. I long ago decided that keeping a pristine house was a battle I was no longer going to wage . My husband and daughter are cut from the same cloth and do weird things like hanging their coats and jackets on the backs of the dining room chairs. What is this when there is both a closet and a coat hanger within 10 feet? Sometimes I put their stuff away myself, other times I just ignore it. Like someone above me mentioned, I didn't want to be the nagging, cranky mother and wife whose legacy was a clean house and a big loud mouth. The nature of my job as a sales rep means I have a ton of stuff around, and it makes organizing and storage a challenge. I remember when I was first married and in my 30's, I would spend every Saturday morning cleaning the entire house - and could do it in a couple of hours . Now - with less energy and being much older, I get half of it done, then lose focus. I don't choose to KonMarie my house and my life at this point : my bathroom is always pristine when guests are around,as are the carpets and floors, but on a day to day basis - some of this just has to be done in turn. I relate very much to those of you who say that they need a tidy house and environment in order to relax . Me too, and that's where working from home has been such a blessing ....when everyone is gone for the day, i can get the kitchen tidy and clean, my bed made and towels put away, and then get back into my office and get to work. Just having that part tidy and clean makes a world of difference to one's morale. Sorry for the novel I guess I'm in a chatty mood tonight.

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