Do the holidays make you feel unfab in your clothes?? - YouLookFab Forum

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Do the holidays make you feel unfab in your clothes??

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Today I am feeling distinctly unfab about my own shape and about all my holiday wear options. Everything feels roughly cobbled together and not right.

I have noticed a few others seem to be feeling insecure or disgruntled, too. I don't want to turn this into a whinge fest, but I am curious about what is going on. Why are we less comfortable with our wardrobes at this time and what's the solution?

I know that focusing on helping others is one path. But I am thinking more of specific wardrobe problems and how to plan a better capsule. In my case I think that would help a whole lot. Mind you I did have a great outfit planned and it didn't arrive in time which probably goes a long way to explaining why I feel so dissatisfied wih my current options.

Dressing

41 replies

Latest reply was from ManidipaM

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Maybe it's the additional socializing people do around the holidays - more personal pressure to want to look our best? Also, dressing up is sometimes very less frequent for some of us so we're not as sure about how to do it right. Add that to a lot of people getting colds, flu, harsh weather in some cases and it does make it more challenging I guess. Not to mention eating heavier and feeling "fuller" than usual. Then trying on something that fit fine last year and it feels a bit tight. Then of course there are those gray days that can make you feel pretty gloomy. Maybe that's just me though.

I'm going to go do some crunches now.

Sara L.

Veteran

I'm sorry you are feeling so unfab For the record, I think you always look consistently good in your posts. I bought a silver sweater dress at the thrift store last March specifically for the holiday season so I'm excited that I finally get to wear it. Maybe being prepared ahead of time is the key so you're excited about holiday outfits? Not sure and I'm sorry I don't have better advice.

Also, I try to exercise more and watch what I eat more carefully the month or two before the holidays (and vacations for that matter) so if I gain weight over the holidays, it just evens out to what I usually weigh. Then I don't feel so guilty in indulging in all the great food and drink that's around at this time of year.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Oh Suz, you look fantastic all the time! I always envy how slim and fit you look in your outfits.

I know I'm totally guilty of whinging lately. I don't know what's up with that, other than a touch of depression. A seasonal hazard.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

On the subject of the winter blues, I cannot recommend light therapy enough! I started it this year in September and it has been a life changer.

I have this little light:
http://www.amazon.com/Sphere-G.....rapy+lamps

I use it for 30 minutes as soon as I wake up in the morning.

merwoman

Veteran

Oh suz - virtual hug to you!
I think in general we are very hard on ourselves..and especially at this time of year. We want perfection - as we see it, and we put so much pressure on ourselves to achieve it.
Everyone, including me, thinks you could wear a paper bag Suz - and no one would notice, since it's your gorgeous smile that grabs centre stage.
However, you have a wardrobe that is evolving, and has many beautful, "just right for Suz" outfits. So wear/where to begin! Your slouchy trousers and beautiful white shirt with black piping, fuschia jacket over top, I think you have some awesome skirts s well...maybe it's time for a closet intervention !

rae

(website)

Veteran

I admit I am not very flustered this year - but I also don't have any fancy events, just casual ones. FWIW, Angie's philosophy of having a great dress on hand for functions has really helped me this year. I still have my office dresses, which are able to be dressed up, and I have my bodycon galaxy-ish dress for NYE or similar. Dresses are great - no mixing or matching, lol.

As for day-to-day, I don't feel much need to be festive. Hm, guess that is no help, huh?

bj1111

Veteran

unlike my other wardrobe, my fantasy wardrobe is well stocked. so i am spoilt for choice during the holidays or any occasion that requires sequins, spangles, metallics or satin. apparently, my fantasy life includes moonlighting as a go-go dancer.

catgirl

Veteran

Yes, but not because I have to dress up for anything. It's more the sense of general flustered-ness and chaos, especially this year. I'm normally ALL about Christmas and Hanukkah (and this year we are also doing Kwanzaa with my nephews) but it's been hard to get into the spirit when I can't decorate or bake. And I haven't been able to exercise as much as I need to - why is it that when we need exercise the most we have the least time to do it?

milehighstyle (Linda)

Veteran

I think it may be that we are trying different items or combinations that are not usually in our rotation, so they are not comfortable for us, either mentally, visually, or physically. For example, I have some perfectly nice outfits that I wear to work and that people at parties have never seen me wear, but I feel that I can't wear a "work outfit" to a holiday party so I try something different - maybe more body con, more trendy, more sparkly, less work appropritate, so a bit out of my comfort zone. I think when I shop I focus on the things I will get the most wear out of (which makes sense) so when these "once in a while" events come up I'm scrambling and don't have go to outfits at the ready. One of the things I am learning from SYC is recognizing that I just don't need any workwear AT ALL and when I do shop it will be for "dressy casual" occasions like date night, girls night, house parties - things that I'm always at a loss for when they come up.

Sylvie

Veteran

Yes. I think it's because we have to dress for events that are only held annually. Also, we often don't know the formality of events too far ahead of time. Even if you have a holiday party capsule, it's small and by the time the holidays come around it might be too dated, not fit or just not be the right level of "casual/dressy"

For the first time ever, I have a company Xmas party to go to (not mine). The workplace is casual. I don't think people will be dressing up for the party. But I don't want to go in my work clothes or casual-party-with-friends clothes or my super-dressy clothes. I've put on weight since last year and some of my form fitting clothes are no longer as flattering. Argh!

Amy

(website)

Veteran

Several factors are at play for me: seasonal depression ( it can be rather gloomy in Seattle during the winter months); myriad stresses at work and home; significant weight gain (I had to replace all of my pants with larger ones...on top of that, we're expected to be merrier at this time of year. It's kind of similar to the bridezilla effect. If everything isn't just so, we go nuts!

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Suz - you look FANTASTIC so get any thoughts out of your pretty head that are telling you otherwise!

I think we all get so incredibly stressed at this time of year and then you add in probably more unhealthy eating than we normally do, less sleep than we normally get, changes in weather, adjusting to less daylight....it can sometimes all be a recipe for feeling kind of yucky.

Just take a deep breath Suz - you are beautiful and stylish!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Thank you for the virtual hugs and boosts everyone. And Geneva, I am going to get one of those lights. I am prober to depression and take good care to minimize the risks but this would be an extra bit of insurance.

Such wise observations. I think you've all n made good points. In my case I think I'm always being caught off guard. I think I have no occasions and then I donut as Sylvie said they are never the same type and funding the right outfit at a moments notice can be impossible. I've been good at not buying for my fantasy life but a couple of times a year I do need fancier or at least DIFFERENT outfits.

Hugs to everybody else experiencing this.

kellygirl

Veteran

Totally! Let me preface this by saying that you always look immaculate--so pretty and polished in everything. I was thinking on this yesterday and trying to figure out why I am so dissatisfied with my holiday capsule and I think for me, it is because I've only really got a grip on MOTG type of outfits. Departing from MOTG takes a lot of effort and I find that most of my clothes are really only MOTG. I don't have shiny, sparkly, tailored items because I really have no need for them except for an occasional evening out--and even then, except around the holidays, it is usually very casual. Throw in the fact that I don't like to be cold, uncomfortable or OTT, makes the options even slimmer. I'm going to keep my eyes open for something kind of holiday and fun--like the brocade jeans or a sparkly sweater--nothing terribly fancy but a step up from MOTG. It would be nice to have these things handy when the holidays come round.

catgirl

Veteran

Kelly, what about something like this? I was just eying it myself since it's on sale right now!

http://www.anthropologie.com/a.....207779.jsp

kellygirl

Veteran

That's really cute! I kind of wanted something that could stand on it's own though--layering is problematic for me. The sweater looks kind of short on the model.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Kelly, my problem is you problem, except you've got a much better handle on your MOTG style than I do. And I have a few more occasions but the style needs are totally unpredictable. I ordered some brocade jeans. But they didn't arrive in time for my event. Alas.

Cute sweater, Una. Maybe I'll get time to check out anthro. One can dream.

rachylou

Veteran

I would say that's a yes. For me it's centered around everyday wear. I feel like my everyday wear should join the festive spirit. We have exited Ordinary Time. But I'm finding it a challenge to "party up" non-party wear. It's an oxymoron.

It could be that I'm finally old. I have been finding it harder and harder to appreciate my holiday home decorations as well. I'm not getting the impression of a whole holiday scene. I see old furnishings with ornaments plunked down on top of them. Kinda lipstick on a pig.

I have to tell you, I also find people less excited, less willing to make things special. In the old days, I'd look forward to everybody's holiday dress. There'd be long gowns and real jewelry and pretty shoes. Now, I get to look forward to... fleece

Ok. Right. Wasn't supposed to whine and whinge. Anyways, I got my holiday/winter sweaters out yesterday. Hopefully that will perk things up. I've a Christmas Red one and a Christmas Green one.

Amy

(website)

Veteran

Suz, I was typing on my phone earlier, so it was slow going for me. I wanted to add that you ALWAYS inspire me with how beautifully put together you are. You are such a lovely lady. I hope you start feeling as fab as you look in your WIWs!

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Ok, so I don't quite understand. From the WIW's you have posted you look fine. BUT, many of your posts you say you don't have a style, you don't have a good wardrobe and that you are so far from it.
So instead of body dysmorphia/eating disorder thinking you have style disorder thinking?
Because I just don't see it.

Freckles

Veteran

If I had my husbands work event or a really formal occasion I would feel so.

I am mildly disgruntled as I always desperately need fab shoes, I am a bit unsatisfied with my shape and still need new up to date accessories. All in all though I am fine. Both my new this season cashmere turtles look terrific with my black pencil skirt and this is really more than I need.

I do think the real reason for any of this is lack of time, Christmas cards still need finishing, baking not started yet, etc. and when do I fit it in?

Christmas tree farm this weekend and I have gloves so I'm good to go which is a major whoot.

kellygirl

Veteran

Gosh, I think you totally have a grip on your MOTG style. It's definitely more polished than mine. I'm excited that you have those brocade jeans to play with--I think those will make a great addition to your holiday capsule

AJ

Veteran

I always think you look nice, Suz!

Usually I do have the holiday wardrobe blues. However, this is the first year that I'm really happy with my holiday wardrobe options. This is also my first season that I committed to buying only certain colors: dark emerald green, burgundy, camel, and black. (I don't really have anything that I NEED to buy, so I thought I'd limit myself on what I could buy and make a mini capsule to add to what I already own.)

For the holidays, I try to let accessories and shoes do most of the work. I have been looking for bling shoes for a couple of years now and thrifted one beautiful pair (pic 1), but unfortunately it just was too high for me after that night to the theater. A couple of weeks later I came across this Nina pair at Nordstrom Rack (pic 2). Not as much bling, but still nice and the 2 inch heel is much more walkable.

Also sporting space age polish (Pic3 with uncomfortable thrifted pair. Sniff!) that goes great with the shoe bling and makes me feel extra festive.

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cciele

Veteran

I also think you've got your every day style down, Suz, and agree that's it's this special event dressing -- compounded with all the other stresses of the holiday season -- that can contribute to the unsatisfied, unfab feeling. Maybe it's the pressure to look good, festive, special and feeling the lack of time and energy to do so! Having a capsule at the ready can help, and it's a bummer your outfit didn't arrive on time!

No solutions here, just empathy

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Suz, your WiW posts are so elegant, I believe it is part of your persona and you wear it well.

I wonder if you have the need for a suit which could form part of your core wardrobe and be updated for semi formal events with a new top or shoes? i know it is a big outlay but is it worth considering.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

My goodness! I was just going to suggest that you get a suit, Suz. High five, Jules

Suz, you are *so gorgeous*. You look more stylish, comfortable, confidant, fit, hip and poised with each photo that you post here - yesterdays outfit postings are sheer proof of this. I can't understand why you feel unfab. What are you smoking???!!!

And I LOVE YOU IN SKIRTS with BOOTIES.

I may need to come over and spank your naughty bottom.

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catgirl

Veteran

I agree with Angie and Anna, I see NOTHING remiss in any of your WIWs. You always look absolutely turned out and stylish. It's one thing if you want to change or redefine your style but as far as not feeling you HAVE a style - I must beg to differ!

Gaylene

Veteran

For me, thinking about a festive/dressy capsule has been way more productive than trying to plan outfits for specific events.

I started by listing events ranging from dinner at a nice restaurant to performances at jazz clubs and theaters to Christmas parties (a.m. and p.m.) to having friends over during the holidays. In my case, I figured I could cover most of these events in with a pair of silky, skinny trousers, a couple of skirts (one pencil and one flowy), a soft cardigan, three tops (edgy, sparkly, lacy--with at least one three-quarter sleeved), and a silky, shirt with a bit of detail that didn't look like a business shirt. I also figured that using a very basic color scheme of ink/cobalt blue and black for these items would let me pair these pieces with my other clothes to create even more variations. By switching in accessories, boots, and dressy shoes, I can cover most of the dressy events in my life without feeling like I am always wearing the same outfit.

I found several of my capsule items existed in my current wardrobe (pants, silky shirt, soft sweater, and pencil skirt--all in black) and purchased the other pieces in a single shopping trip. Since I was looking for specific types of items, I found I could cruise through the stores quite quickly. I also found shopping for tops and a flowy skirt quite a bit easier than trying to fit dresses and tailored pants. I substituted items if I found something I liked that could work in the same way as my original thought. My flowy skirt turned into a midi with an asymmetrical hemline, and my "lacy" top into an edgy, ripped, cowl-necked, three-quarter sleeved top in a ink blue/black print. Since most of my dressy items don't get worn that often, I wasn't as concerned with quality since it's unlikely that most of my dressy items will be worn that frequently; if they last a season or two, that's just fine with me.

I think Angie is quite right in saying that it makes sense to have a capsule for specific activities that crop up regularly in our lives. Trying to create an outfit every time an event is upcoming is hard work and, to me, often discouraging. My capsule lets me play around a bit with the items to create outfits that harmonize with how I want to dress for a specific event. I can do classic or edgy, casual or dressy, or any variation in between with my capsule. My capsule has taken the stress out of dressing for these events.

Anonymous

Oh Suz, IKWYM. As the others have said, you always look polished and appropriate but the "festive" element can be so elusive. I agree with so much of what Linda said. If you're anything like me, you are too practical to want to lay out a lot of money for one sparkly top that people will remember next year. For the last few years I've found something in advance, tried it on and thought everything was sorted. But because it wasn't an outfit that got to be "road tested" it felt awkward and when the time came to wear it, the kinks were not worked out.

So I'm not really sure what the solution is. I like Angie's idea to buy a suit that's special but not necessarily "holiday only". You could work outwards from there and I'm sure it would get a ton of use together as a suit and separated for your writer's gigs.

Big hugs and sunshine from AZ! <<<hugs>>>>

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