Do "lookfab" blogs need approval before being visible? - YouLookFab Forum

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Do "lookfab" blogs need approval before being visible?

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I just started one called "prepare to come about". I promise not to use as many corny sailing metaphors as I did in the "about" page for it.

I appreciate all the advice and comments I get here, but think I've been dominating the forum too much, so want to have a place to put things for people who are interested without constantly being in everyone's face.

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17 replies

Latest reply was from Stagiaire Fash

Staysfit

Veteran

Whatever you post on your YLF blog will still post on the forum page in the same way as before. It will also be posted in your blog if you designate it to go there when you create the post. The advantage of a blog are the pictures show up better when you go to look at them: You can track your posts more easily over time.

I don't think posts need approval before they show up, but if someone finds your post distasteful, they can let the YLF team know and then they will review and I'm sure decide if some action is needed. Angie, and her team run a friendly forum.

It's considerate of you to think about how you use the forum. If you are worried about how much you are posting, there are different things you can do, for example, you can keep a list of things you want to post about, and pace yourself. Post one at a time and wait for the responses, etc. You can search to see if the topic has come up recently so you aren't duplicating posts. I'm sure other people have better ideas.....

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Thanks Staysfit! I'm just starting to realize how common, and therefore not interesting for everyone, the path I'm on is. The second half of your description of your blog, for example, sounds just like me. Another example: The need to define one's own style seems to be something everyone on here knows about, but if you check out my post on analyzing an outfit, you can me learning why that's key to the answer to my question. Iow, it's hard for me to search for replies to my questions, because I don't always know what they are. Searching for keys to that outfit, I would have skipped right over anything about personal style, if not for kind replies from Suz and other patient souls.

What I want to do is get a bunch of pictures uploaded and ready to go before making one release. Finds are too cumbersome. The blogs don't seem to be a good way do that either. I'd prefer not to store all those pics on my phone or computer.

Staysfit

Veteran

I think people like to help so I would t worry about asking questions for yourself that have been asked before, unless it's something that was obviously just asked (which is why I suggested you check first). Personally, I learn from everyone who posts, so I hope you don't think I was discouraging you. I was trying to suggest ways you could pace yourself so you don't take over the forum which seemed to be what you were asking about. Maybe I misunderstood? I'm not sure this is a great place for photo storage. Do you have a cloud drive for them?

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Staysfit has given some good pointers here. The blogs are a lovely free feature of the site. Also, I'm pretty sure that Angie would say that you should feel free to post as often as you like. You'll figure out the best rhythm for yourself.

If you worry that you're posting too often, then, as Staysfit says, make a list of things you might want to talk about (or write them down as they occur to you) and post one a day or one every few days. That's more or less what I did when I started here and I was totally obsessed.

Some forum members arrive because they've always been fashionistas but many, if not most, find this site because they're undergoing a style renewal. So you're far from alone, and most people are understanding. If you haven't been into style or fashion for a while, it's a big learning curve!

What do you find cumbersome about Finds? Maybe we can help with that. Once you get the hang of it, they can be really useful for keeping track of your wardrobe. (Though I admit, I shouldn't preach, since I haven't even bothered to make custom Finds of my older things...)

You might find Pinterest useful for compiling some inspiration pictures.

There are special style and closet management apps, too, but I'll leave it to those more experienced than I am to talk about those!

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I actually really enjoy people posting a lot Fashiontern. It's fun to see that hunger for knowledge and the interest in the topics. I've been here 6 months or so now and I think my rate of posting has gone down slightly of late. I have learned a huge amount but had also done lots of reading about fashion and shopping for several years beforehand having needed a whole change of wardrobe due to weight gain about 9 years ago.
The other point is, people can always choose whose posts they follow. Different forum members have different obsessions and if you get tired of one you can just skip their posts, and conversely if you really relate to posts, like I did when I came ( to Rachylou on culling and to Sterling on shopping fasts) then you can leap in more on those posts. Don't feel bad at all! I love your posts x

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Thanks for the encouragement, Staysfit & Jenni NZ! Suz, you've once again answered a question I didn't ask, in a very helpful way! Closet management apps might be what I'm looking for.
Some of my clothes will be obvious "keepers" and others will obviously need to go, but I expect there will be a large swath of unclarity between them. I was thinking I'd put up big batches to wade through with people who care to do so, figuring out commonalities of things I like as well as elements I always dislike, to compile my overall style guide. I'm very eager to get on with this, as if you hadn't guessed. Maybe what I should do though is stop, beat things back into wherever I can cram them in for now, do the reading and the thinking, and then start on the actual clothing in a few weeks, when my idea of my style is more clear. By then the question zone may be smaller, so I can post smaller batches of 5-10 photos. Another advantage of that would be that I should be closer to my target shape (it isn't just about weight, it's also about how those pounds are distributed/density) by then, so will have a better idea of how things will fit once I'm "there".

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Yes, it's better to wait until you have "settled" into your new shape. I understand about this because I lost 35 pounds and the weight was differently distributed afterwards. It took from 3 to 6 months for my new shape to establish itself. My body type did not completely change but I went from being an hourglass verging to pear to a slim hourglass/ rectangle with IT tendencies.

You can probably get rid of some things right away without a need for try on.

If it is worn out, stained, pilled -- let it go.

If you know for sure it doesn't fit (i.e. for your larger weight) -- out! (Or alter, but speaking as one who tried to alter some favourites...it wasn't worth it.)

If it doesn't suit your style sensibility -- out! This is the part that is tricky because you don't have clarity on that yet. So spend some time working on that end of things. It's difficult for people to help with decisions about keep/ toss if they don't know what you are aiming for. The only criterion they would have in that case is the datedness of an item.

On that note -- just because you may have a preference for classics does not mean that your clothing will be timeless. If it is more than 5 or 6 years old, it may look dated, at least if worn in combination with other items of the same age. (You might get away with it if it is styled with newer "trend" items, especially footwear -- and if you have a fantastic, modern haircut).

This is not a hard and fast rule, and of course if your style preference runs to vintage, that's a different story -- but even a button front shirt from 2010 looks quite different from 2017's. Heck, 2017's shirt looks different than 2014's! See the puff sleeve and elaborate detailing of that Victoria Beard shirt at the NAS? You would not have seen that three or four years ago. And yes, the Victoria Beard looks a bit like an Edwardian shirt. so it's not exactly a new style. But even when things cycle back, they look a bit different. The devil is in the details.

Try, if you can, to narrow yourself to a few key neutrals and colours -- that is another way to begin to limit things.

rachylou

Veteran

I like your posts! Not too many for me Also, I confess to never looking at the blogs unless a thread is double posted to forum and blog. Ya, my bad!

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

I like when new folks come in with lots of energy and questions. It brings life to the forum. (I also like when vets stick around to discuss style shifts and ongoing thought processes.)

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Jenn, thanks for the encouragement!

Racheylou, thanks for following me and for all your replies! You are so encouraging and supportive--I really appreciate that! I've also heard that you're the queen of cleaning out, so I want to find those threads where you discussed that, and I hope you'll be around when I'm in the nitty-gritty of that.

Suz, it's good to "talk" to someone who's done this. It's hard to say how much weight I've lost or need to, because there have been so many stages. Right now I'm 40 lbs less than my peak, and 10-20 more than I want to be. The goal is more about feeling good, % body fat, and liking what I see in the mirror than about a specific number of pounds. When my weight was on the way up, I tried to talk about body changes with someone at work who was always letting us all know that she used to be thinner. Big mistake, lol! Even now, beyond citing how many pounds lost, most people don't want to talk about it. I was a 36-26/37-36/37 hourglass forever. The biggest I got, I don't have measurements for, but was an "apple", probably around 34.75-34-42. Right now I'm about 35-29-39.5, so fairly rectangular, but with a dip at the waist. I'd be content at 35.5-28-38, but ideally would get to 36-27-37/38. Of course, those numbers don't tell the whole story. I now have a sack of soggy pancakes where I used to have a nice perky butt. I'm willing to do some work to get that "back" back, but will not live for it, so who know what will happen there. I'm not as willing to do chest/lats exercises; focusing on shoulders and upper arms appeals to me more, so I doubt I'll increase that much, honestly, but at least I'll have decent definition.

Right now, I've slacked off on workouts for a month, and can tell that I have more subcutaneous fat on my appendages, and am less muscular, so same weight, different distribution, squishier. My stomach hasn't gotten that horizontal line yet, but is clearly more of a ball (I'm "pumpkinesque") than it was. That means I'm a little more short-waisted again--the punkin pushes that up. I need to get back to work! I feel much better when I'm working out. Right now I'm low energy and feel like pulling my back is just a breath away.

As for my wardrobe, I don't have stained or ripped items, I only bought fat clothes when I had to, and I've already given them away. Most of my questions will be on those older items, wondering if their age shows. A friend told me my silk trousers are dated because they have pleats; I saw an ad for the fresh new look of pleated trousers a day or two later.
My "neutrals" are pretty clearly blue and black. When I'm ready for a new name around here, maybe it should include a word play around bruises (I *don't* want to laugh at domestic violence, but I do play hard and tumble around, so bruises are part of my look, especially as I get them more easily at this age than I used to).

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

On a slightly more serious side of talking about bodies, I think it's
important to accept the reality of whatever bodies we have. Being
overweight and weak certainly contributed to how badly I pulled my psoas last summer, and to the difficulty of my recovery. I love water parks, but when my son and I went to one for the first time in a few years, we were startled that climbing the stairs to the slides was hard for me. The first time he heard me call myself "fat", my son immediately objected and told me not to shame my own body or hate myself. I explained that objectively, according to charts at the doctor's office, I was "obese", which is another word for fat, and that acknowledging that fact does not need to and did not dictate my self-esteem. Being honest with myself was forced on me by that pulled muscle and those ladders, and is what enabled me to get going on the weight loss.

When I first started taking off inches, he always told me anything I put on looked great. I explained to him that I knew some things were too small, and that some things that weren't tight still didn't look right. I said that I would prefer to hear his honest evaluation over going out in public in something that I would eventually realize looks foolish. He has learned to give me honest, tactful commentary on what I'm wearing, and he always accepts that it's my final decision. i hope that the women (he's straight) in his future appreciate this!

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I just figured it out and feel so foolish. You have to write a post, duh! Just setting it up with the "about" doesn't do it. Makes sense.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

I co-sign everything everybody has already said. I love the feature with a Blog I think it's pretty apparent. I kind of stumbled onto it but I'm like that cuz I posted I can post what I like. I do ask Angie about certain things because I don't want to overstep boundaries and I really don't want to offend so when I have questions I do ask. I never want to hurt feelings or be too judgemental. I know sometimes I can come across that way. It's really sometimes challenging giving things across over the internet. I think we have such a great bunch of folks here that it's it's a beautiful thing.

I really enjoy the newness of people I remember your question about you post too much and dancers really no. When I established my rhythms for ylf I found my groove and it's really fun I do early morning post late night post. I'm a veteran of the PTSD so I'm always up now nice I enjoy gives me a reason to be up. And the blog is always here and you look fab is always here. I like your style of writing I like your thought process I like that reaction. I know I can't answer everybody all the time but I try to answer people in general. I hope when baby gets older I'll be able to take more time to answer everybody individually but it's just the nature of the flow of things.

Anonymous

Don't say that Fashiontern. Every single persons style journey is of interest. We literally all learn from one another. I very much look forward to following along on your style journey. I don't doubt for a second that you will have things to teach me along the way.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Curiouser and curiouser. One person saw the blog post and commented. I tried to comment back and got the message I couldn't post because "you have to include some content". Either that's a tech glitch or a wicked comment on my writing style.

LeDonna, thanks for commenting. My son has some PTSD, mixed in with his anxiety/depression. The things we talk about make most parents' I talk to jaws drop. I hope you Zion Joy brings you healing. The love that's coming your way is unbelievable. I know you think you're in it now, but it gets better (Dr Brazleton says he thinks that's prep for the next stage but shh, let's just focus on the joy and love. Honestly, I was never bothered by 2s & 3s. If something bugs you, then it does. My big mistake was not letting him learn to deal with his own emotions more. I eventually found an organization that's great on that topic, http://www.handinhandparenting.org wish I would've known about it earlier. You'll find your own supports that fit you as you go. I love that you're sharing your adventures with her. It's such an amazing and beautiful journey!) I'm far off topic now. Your posts often bring all kinds of different dimensions to the table.

Sterling, I said a lot of things, lol. Which one are you referring to?

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Fashiontern-thank you for the link. I think being an "older" mom is helping me. At 43 never thinking a child was possible I literally take one day at a time. I've been blessed to see 53 children 2 nieces and 1 nephew grow up in our extended family. I'm thankful for that experience and people like yourself bring to the table. I am glad you want to share in our journey. I hope to enjoy your blog for years to com.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

LeDonna, are they mostly near you? A family support network would be wonderful--no wonder you seem so confident with her! I dillidallied over whether to include that link, but couldn't say what I was trying to about my parenting experience without mentioning it, and just gesturing to "a blog" sounds twe. One thing "older moms" seem to have abundantly is patience and an eager sense of discovery. Sounds like two things, but I don't think it is.