Anna, I think this question may be up there with "What's the meaning of life?", based on volume of response!
I agree with IK that being secure in yourself is one really big thing a woman can do on the romance front. I call it having conviction - the absolute conviction that you want to be a domestic goddess, want a man. Tangentially, for the modern woman, I don't think this is particularly easy. When even men write books about the obsolescence of men, it's that much harder to be convinced.
I also agree with everyone that a girl has to be herself. No one gets anywhere trying to be something they're not. You lose customers when you don't have truth in advertising - people get upset by the perceived dissonance between message and what's actually in the box. Moreover, as Velvety says, you have inescapable fashion flare. You can't shake it so I don't think you have to worry about suffering without it.
But still I think courtship calls quite possibly for some fashion changes. How do I square that? Well, 1) when people court, they are looking to go from all-me to a we. You have to make some space for someone else's clothes in that closet. Otherwise, as my neighbor says, you're lying to yourself about really being in the game. 2) If you want to be a we, the advertising indeed has to be consistent, and you have to dive into this interest. That should show up in how you dress or you're not being sincere. Again, not in the game.
Yes, I think a person needs to show up a little as a blank slate, in plain clothing. Willing to let another person in, take on some influences, build an identity in common.
...Unless - there's an exception to every rule, of course - you want to be a trophy wife. In which case, you will need-to-be an off-the-shelf, pre-packaged, hermetically-sealed object...
