This may be silly, but after over a decade together, and with him in his 50's, it is beginning to sound silly to me to call my SO my boyfriend. That seems like a youthful term for those not yet committed to a life together. And when I changed my Facebook status to 'long term partnership' half my friends had fun with asking me when I became gay.
Is there a term, or can we start using one hoping it will catch fire, that describes adults committed to each other but not interested in signing papers for the state or church?
Especially here in the South, everyone automatically says to me "your husband" - yikes.