Did I have any style goals? (Long, navel-gazing) - YouLookFab Forum

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Did I have any style goals? (Long, navel-gazing)

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I looked back at my late December/early January posts and I didn’t actually write any goals. I was all about the numbers.
I think a unspoken goal was to reduce the size of my wardrobe still. The main reason was the promise I made to DH that I would not expand to his side of the new walk-in-wardrobe. The new wardrobe is large and I felt there should be no need at all to overflow it. And the expansion of my wardrobe in the old house to take over parts of 3 different bedrooms ( out of 4!) was quite embarrassing to me.
I want you to know I am not trying or meaning to be holier-than-thou about this. It was a personal feeling of sort of drowning in clothes! Can anyone relate?
And I would think about Angie’s wardrobe which is so pretty and functional and would know that mine was bigger but not like that!
So after these first 6 months, and all my hard emotional work of editing even some really sentimental pieces, I think the numbers are only down by two, to 175! The holding zone ( not counted in numbers at least) is smaller and all tucked away in our current wardrobe except for the dress-ups (that’s kooky dress-ups like outrageous hippy stuff, long feather boas and the like.) Kind of more “ordinary” dress-ups like items that can be modified for the 1920s capsule are still in the main wardrobe.
So do I need some actual goals re my style? It did help to edit one pinafore that I decided looked a very boring grey by going “Would a sassy shoemaker’s elf wear this” and deciding No, because it was much too boring!
Speaking of which, I was thrilled to find in the storage room, the fairy tales children’s book which I thought I had given away! It hadn’t been, after all, and there were the lovely pics I remembered! Made me happy

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General

21 replies

Latest reply was from bj1111

Anonymous

HI Jenni -- I don't have a style moniker or stated goals. I realize these help other people, but I struggle with defining personal moniker/goals. Nothing ever felt right to me. Eventually I decided I was going to be one of those women that just didn't have one. I'll watch this thread with great interest to see what others think.

Anonymous

Aww I'll give you the same advice I gave Lisa-as it seems like you're struggling with the same thing!

As you look in your wardrobe, are there any things that stand out, as especially you or not you? What is the quality that gives the "you" pieces harmony-despite changing trends, shapes, etc? Are there more "grey pinafores" in there? What do your benchwarmers have in common? What do your loved pieces have in common?
To me, wardrobe size becomes an issue when it exceeds the space alotted for it, causes the feeling of stress/chaos, and/or creates debt. The numbers aren't important compared to the feeling of it!

Jane

Veteran

I’m so pleased you found the children’s book - so precious I think to have something that has been touched by your children and maybe by others to come.

I know what you mean about drowning in clothes. I feel that too sometimes. I think that question would a sassy shoe makers elf wear this is such a good question. I understand that - the question for me is ‘does it feel like the clothing has grown on me’. It’s a question that doesn’t really make sense except inside my head. Well done with the analysis. I am sure your question will be helpful moving forward.

Eva

Jenni, I need to do some editing myself, but I have a very hard time letting go of my items, because I often remember where and when exactly I bought them, so they are like a keepsake to me...
I guess what I am trying to say is that I am impressed with the editing you have done so far, and that I can relate that it is not easy! So, well done!

Also, I think I had the same book as a child. The pictures were different but the story is familiar. So fun to rediscover old treasures! Another kind of keepsake!

Anonymous

I always get a kick out of your posts, Jenni. You clearly love clothes, and have a wide and strong sentimental streak that can trip you up at times. And yes, I know exactly what you mean about drowning in clothes. My wardrobe swings as wildly as my weight (or so it seems ) : going from a moderate, well-contained collection to having too many pieces (right now) and many of which don't work together or have any specific function in my wardrobe.

Angie always says that the size of a wardrobe is irrelevant if you are able to manage it, and if it serves your needs, and if you have room for it. You're a busy, working professional with a new home and a family to take care of. I can only imagine that you have a lot on your plate at the best of times, and working with a more refined wardrobe might help you get dressed with confidence every morning. Setting a style moniker has always eluded me, but read Jeneva's post from last night/this morning and see how interesting it can be. Some of her subcategories reminded me of you - with your varied tastes and whimsical nature. The % of her total wardrobe each little style capsule represents made a lot of sense to me.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

"The main reason was the promise I made to DH that I would not expand to his side of the new walk-in-wardrobe" .

Nice

OF COURSE I get the "drowning in clothes" feeling, Jenni. I see it often with clients, which is why they ask for my help. It's an excellent goal to edit to the point so that you don't feel like you're drowning. Liberating.

I agree with Lisa P that you have a lifestyle that supports a large wardrobe. Size does not matter if you can manage, wear and enjoy a wardrobe that suits your needs and wants.

May I suggest:

Get the costumes and sentimental items out the closet and into a container in the garage, for example.
Be ruthless with knits and basics
Give yourself a numbers challenge since you like numbers! X can go because it's been worn 30 times.....or whatever the magical number is.

As for style monikers and style adjectives - I find them extremely useful for my own style, wardrobe planning, and purchasing strategy.

Moniker: "Urban Polish", is where I am for the last two years.

Adjectives: Modern, Crisp, Soft, Retro, Dressy

I relate it ALL back to this, and it works well for me. But I am also VERY emotional about it. I listen to my feelings every step of the way.

Even my casual stuff has to look dressier and more polished than the norm, if that makes sense? It does to me, so I guess that's what matters!

Now we have to find a system that works for you.

Runcarla

Veteran

Angie got there first, but I have to second the idea of a separate closet or storage area for costumes and highly sentimental items. Since costume dress IS a part of your RL it deserves to be honoured with proper storage space - but I suspect that those items are taking up realestate in your shared closet and muddling up your perspective on your everyday wear.

During the big October closet edit I realized I was giving my hanging sports kit (neoprene scuba suit, running jackets, etc.) pride of place in my closet, and more frequently worn clothes were in the awkward spot behind the closet door. I reorganized, and now everyday clothes are the first thing I see and easiest to access.

Interesting, isn't it, what we reveal about ourselves in the privacy of our closets?!

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

I would just also caution not to be too, too strict when you edit to a style moniker or other style goals. Really get in tune with your emotional response to things and compare each item to BOTH the emotional impact, the fit/flattering
aspect, and your style goals.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Jenava, that is exactly what I have shouted from the rooftops all these years!

Carla, we are on the same wavelength...

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I think your style goals are to have fun and not get bored, with happy clothes and easy cuts. Jenava's advice to you sounds just right, because you are eclectic in your tastes.

There are lots of formulae people use to come up with the magic numbers for their closets. I think your limiting device--physical space you intentionally set up for this purpose--along with your feelings of "I've got it" vs "can't get my head around all this stuff" work better for you.

I've not seen that book before, but a few years back, in the midst of all her decluttering (Swedish death cleaning), my mom sent me a very favorite book from my childhood. I am very happy to have it again, and see strong connections between and the main themes of my career.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

That's such a cute book, Jenni! I love how the elves are dancing!

I agree with the foregoing advice. First, a separate storage area for costume wear -- that makes sense and will help to clarify things.

Second...can you do a seasonal clear out of the holding zone? That is what I do. If I put it in the holding zone and then don't reach for it at all during its season, it goes.

And ditto to Angie's suggestion to let go of things you've worn thirty (or more) times to make space for the wardrobe to evolve. This can be difficult, but if numbers please you, that might take some of the sentimentality out of it and also some of the guilt. You might not have to do this forever or with every item, but it wouldn't hurt to try it with a few.

Ultimately, though, I don't think the absolute number of items you mentioned is unreasonable for someone with a busy professional life and varied leisure activities -- as long as it works for you! There are people on this forum with larger wardrobes that function well for them.

It's also important to remember that we don't all count equally! Some count everything, including gear and footwear and bags and even scarves in their totals -- others count only clothing, or only clothing and bags. It's very personal.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Haha, Angie, I have been listening, all these years!!

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Hey thanks to everyone, will respond more over the weekend when I have more time. My clothes are definitely keepsakes Eva, and the editing of the sentimental stuff did take many years of not fitting the items to accomplish! And especial thanks to Lisap and Jenava, your thoughts may help me to be closer to feeling “I’ve got this!”
That book was actually from my own childhood so it must be 50 years old at least. The dancing elves have stayed with me obviously!

Sal

Veteran

I like the advice given so far Jenni. I see you as a Sassy Urban with your adjectives being comfort eclectic detailed and maybe colourful.

You dress like a city dweller with spark and personality. You like details / sparkle, metallic, earrings, patterns.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

When you have a question like "Would a sassy shoemaker’s elf wear this?” I am not sure you need to worry about any further definitions. Use your newly found book as inspiration!

RainB

“Would a sassy shoemaker’s elf wear this”

Bijou

Veteran

Jenni how fun that you found those books and a sassy shoesmakers elf would always have great shoes, so this moniker is perfect. Closet editing is a challenge for me too. I get too sentimental about certain pieces to be objective about their future potential use by me. Something I am a working on.

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

I have a bin of costume clothing, set aside, as Angie suggests. I don't consider those things part of my regular wardrobe, but they get pulled out if we're going to some sort of a period-costume event or to put something together last-minute for Halloween parties. (These are nice pieces, too, collected over years, rather than throwaway costume shop items). Having such a collection seems totally legit when such events are a part of your life! Much like having a formalwear collection if you tend to get invited to charity balls.

Those elves remind me of ornaments my grandmother had on her Christmas tree every year. I wish I still had one of them!

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Isn’t 30 wears suggested as a minimum, not a max?

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Yes it is, but I think Angie has cleverly picked up that I am feeling I want to wear everything at least 30 times because of all the good reasons behind that campaign, and that therefore I may feel more comfortable passing them on if they have reached that magic number. And for the ones I am struggling with, that could well be true. She has my number I think ( no pun intended!)

bj1111

Veteran

Jenny this thread is funny and charming and so you. I can’t wait to meet you