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DH hates my nude boots - replace?

rae

(website)

Veteran

So my Hubs has said multiple times that he does not like these boots - kinda kills it, since they are very casual and I got them specifically to wear with shorts...

Should I try these out to replace them? There is one pair left in my size, discounted, and I already know they are comfy. As you can see, they can be worn up or folded over. I could get these instead of a second pair of Report Marks, since DH doesn't love those, either. They are just as comfortable, but more expensive.

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44 replies

Latest reply was from rae

catgirl

Veteran

Why does he hate them? I like them a lot - you're part of the reason I've been on a nude boot quest! The Fryes are awesome, of course, but still... They would certainly be a good boot for you given the way the Julias have worked out.

My DH rarely expresses any opinion so when he does, I try to listen. Emphasis on "try".

rae

(website)

Veteran

He has a hard time articulating things in fashion terms, but I think he doesn't like the ankle-surrender and also doesn't like the very round toe... He likes these ones better, but they are not comfy for long walks - were bought mainly for work.

I really try to listen to my DH, too. I don't want him to feel like hiding when we go out!

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Vicki

(website)

Veteran

Question? Are you saying he hates 2/3 and you are replacing 1? What does he think of those in 1?

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I LOVE pair #2 (Fryes) but pair #1 fits like a glove, so why does DH hate them? They both rock IMO. There are some things I have to just decide I love that BF doesn't (red jeans and denim anything other than jeans) and hopefully I wear them gradually in a way that eases him into seeing me in the item.

catgirl

Veteran

Hmm, I don't see less ankle surrender in the second pair you're wearing. The first pair looks more fitted to me. Can you post side views?

Vicki

(website)

Veteran

I think it has more to do with the rounded toe that he's not liking. I'm a bit like Mo with the "easing in" process and that seems to work best for me. But, if you value his opinions and you have mutual tastes in these things, then a little more research may be needed. You have to be comfortable though, Rae, and nude boots are part of who you are. They may just be out of his comfort zone at the moment.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Vicki, he dislikes #1, and I am thinking of replacing with 2-3.

Mo, if I was madly in love with #1, I would feel the same (as I have done with the UWP sweater, for example). I like these, and I like that they match my skin, but ours is not a deathless romance. I haven't worn them once yet this year because every time I put them on, he says they look dumb. :T

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Echo

Veteran

Wow, I am completely useless here because to my eye the boots in the first pic are so much more flattering than those in your next post. The second boots in the first post are okay, but will give a completely different vibe from the first ones; they will stand out more than blend in (which is sort of the point of any "nude" footwear, IMO). If he just isn't fond of them but doesn't find them completely hideous, I'd keep them (they look great to my eye). I don't actively seek out things I know DH will dislike, either, and I do try to keep him in mind, but when it comes to footwear a woman sometimes has to do what's best for her own feet (and her own eye).

catgirl

Veteran

Okay, I logged back in to say I love these from the side! They remind me of my old grey foldover boots that also have a round toe. I don't see anything to dislike about them, and his feelings must be skewing you.

The Fryes are on sale, yes?

rae

(website)

Veteran

I am aware that his feelings are skewing me, but the reality is I won't wear them with him since he doesn't like them... and since that's the only chance I'd get to wear them, they are just wasting away. :T

So I guess the question isn't *whether* to replace, but if I should replace with the Frye's?

cciele

Veteran

Hm, from the side I can totally see the ankle-surrender, spat boot type thing going on. Well, if you never wear them, for whatever reason, that sounds like a good excuse to replace!

ManidipaM

Veteran

I like your replacement choice a lot, especially its mutability, if that's any help!

DonnaF

Veteran

Does he like the replacement choice better? I'm wondering if he doesn't like your nude boots because they ARE nude on you. That's a relatively new concept of a shoe/boot blending in with the skin. . . .not something that guys do. . . .

Kari

Veteran

While I don't agree with your husband's dislike of the boots, I do see what you mean from the side. The boots you say he likes on you are a bit more deliberately oversized in comparison to your ankle rather than "surrendering" but still fitting relatively close to your calf. Perhaps scrunch/slouch boots like the Frye Rorys would do the trick too?

christieanne

Veteran

And you are sure he actually likes boots with shorts? If yes, then replacing seems reasonable if it's with a pair you like. I tend to not always listen to DH on fashion but he absolutely hate s the rope covered wedge heel (and most natural color wedge heels) so I just avoid. It isn't worth the whining. I totally understand!

rae

(website)

Veteran

Donna, that's an interesting question. Will be sure to ask about this... if that is the case, then tough beans! lol. But from what he's said before, I think it is the shape.

Christieann, that's another good question. I do wear boots with shorts a lot - while it is not his favorite, he is fine with it most of the time. He does *love* boots with shorts AND tights, interestingly. But I am not willing to give up all boots with shorts!

Well, since they are the last pair in my size and about $100 less than I see them anywhere else, I'm going to at least try them. Free returns are a good thing.

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

I thought the first pair of nude boots look better than the second pair you posted.

Hmm, maybe he'll like the Frye lace-ups better. Does he like more feminine looking footwear on you?

I certainly sympathize, as I'm having the same problems with DH hating my floral pants. Good luck with the new boots!

fashionlady

It's ok but a little vintage. and you can have a try but with some other gorgeous clothes to make a better balance.

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

I don't know! I kind of love your boots. Sorry Dh hates them!

Irene

Veteran

Honestly, I don't understand why you replace a pair of boots just because your husband doesn't like them. I would sort of understand it -though not entirely- if we were talking about a super sexy item that made every man turn around and thus make him uncomfortable, but I don't think that's the case. Do you like EVERY THING he owns and likes? AND would you feel uncomfortable if he was wearing something you don't like in public with you? I don't think it would affect anyone that much, but if you do have the budget for this and you don't mind saying goodbye to a pair of boots you actually like...

Onto the second part of the post. I like your pair of shoes better, but I think the Fryes are pretty cool too -though the heel is pretty high for everyday wear and remember you are wearing short shorts so there might be too much leg lengthening, if you know what I mean. I like short shorts with flat or low heeled shoes, otherwise I feel too exposed, but that's me. Maybe you don't mind that! Overall, I like the Fryes, but yours better

And sorry about the first part of the post, that was my feminist side speaking!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

The boots that you linked to are great! Too high for walking?

I prefer the nude boots that hubs prefers too. The others remind me of the Spat boots that you and Cathy sent back (but worked for Una). The ankle surrender does not slouch and can look overwhelming on little you.

Anonymous

Try them and see! If they don't work out, at least you'll have a little shoe math to play with.

IKWYM about finding it futile to wear something your DH is not crazy about. My hubs feels that way about harem pants and the Mimi Chicas I just tried (and am about to return). It's not that I *can't* wear them, I just would rather wear something he likes. And I really wish he would return the favor, lol!

sarah

Veteran

I'm no help at all, because I love your boots in 1. They fit your ankle so nicely. I realize that they don't conform to the shape of your ankles (I guess that's what he doesn't like), but I still think that they look great.

Of the others, I prefer #2.

rae

(website)

Veteran

I guess I feel a need to defend myself here - as Claire said, it is my choice to consider my husband's feelings when we go out together. It is important to me to look attractive to my mate, period. He is not controlling my wardrobe or dressing me, and just because I *consider* his feelings does not mean I defer to his judgement every time. I pick my battles, and I feel this is a concession I'm willing to make. Also, for those who maybe don't know me, I'm not tossing out a perfectly good boot - I would resell these to make back some $$ and not be wasteful.

Angie, these are the short version of my Julias, which proved to be super comfortable hiking up hills and don't seem to look as high in person somehow.

For those who said the heel might be too feminine/tall/vintage, we'll see when they get here I guess. I agree that I don't want to seem too sexy in shorts, and that is important.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Then you should try the boots!

Anonymous

I am not too crazy about the potential boots you posted above. I thing they are a little too ALGO and I see your style taking a more minimalist route as of lately.

I see what your hubs is talking about but it does not bother me, but you know guys will be guys lol... And you bet I'm going to listen to what my beloved says about my clothing choices. I dress for me and for him as well.

Just throwing my fifty cents, I just bought the MIAs GP has in the natural color, they could be an alternative for a neutral walkable boot:
http://www.amazon.com/MIA-Wome.....B004JLYSD6

rae

(website)

Veteran

Zap, I actually thought about ordering those at the same time, but they looked much lighter on my monitor at home. What I see now looks pretty good - you've seen me in person, do you think they'd match my legs?

Aziraphale

Veteran

Rae, I'm logging in briefly to say that I think it's completely reasonable and natural to want to dress in a way your mate finds attractive. I don't think it's antifeminist. If I had a pair of shoes my husband hated, I wouldn't wear them either. I think he would do the same for me (Once he removed an eyebrow piercing because I found it unpleasantly distracting -- like he had a fly stuck to his face!). It doesn't happen often because my husband likes my style and I like his, but on the very odd occasion where he expresses a negative opinion about something, I pay attention, because there's usually a good reason.

catgirl

Veteran

Okay, now that you've clarified - I love the Fryes but they have a very different vibe than the boots you have now. If that's the goal (to change the vibe) then go for it. I like the versatility of wearing them folded or up. You know the heel works for you already. Can't wait to see them on.

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