depressed rant - holler if the loan process makes you want to cry - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Off Topic

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

depressed rant - holler if the loan process makes you want to cry

rae

(website)

Veteran

So DH and I still have not moved. We are in a bit of a unique situation, because the unit we are buying is part of a Co-Op property, so there is only one lender in the country who will even loan to us. Still, we are days away from our close of escrow date, and there has been no movement in weeks. We will undoubtedly exceed the date, and the sellers are getting restless. The lending agents never answer the phone and keep asking us for the same documents over and over again, and we have caught them in more than one lie regarding missing documents from my employer etc. They have no sense of urgency to help us, even though it is a relatively small loan and we are putting over 50% of the purchase price down as initial payment - which, btw, we have already payed and has been paid for about a month how.

The worst part is that DH is too scared to anger the lenders or be too firm with them because they are the only ones we can go to. He has forbidden me to communicate with them, because he knows I am not a nice person when I am being taken advantage of. I want to make heads roll - and I could write such beautifully scathing, scathing emails listing all their failures! - but I'm totally impotent here.

I just want to run around screaming and pulling my hair and breaking dishes. I feel like a beggar and a crook dealing with these people, despite the fact that we could easily liquidate some investments and pay for the property in cash. I'm just totally disgusted with the way we've been treated, and I can't even complain.

Anyone else have a war story? Misery loves company.

Off Topic

24 replies

Latest reply was from rae

MsMary

Veteran

OMG I so feel your pain!! I am waiting for Mr. K to re-fi the Former Marital Residence so I can get my cash out and buy myself a new house, and it is dragging on and on and driving me nuts! For example, I had to sign the deed twice because it was wrong the first time. And today for the first time they're wanting to see the divorce judgment, and... it's one thing after another. Driving. me. nuts.

Hang in there, Rae! Hopefully we will both have our transactions closed by the end of the week!!

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Ugh! That is a tight situation to be in. I'm a bit worried - did you pay 50% down to the lender that is hedging on returning calls, etc.? I hope they are reputable. Do they have a physical location that you've visited?

I had a lender once who was not very responsive and I felt like we might lose the purchase. I dug in and learned that they were in financial trouble themselves. I hadn't given them any money and we just switched to a different lender, but yours is a different situation altogether.

I've heard that buying condos can be really difficult.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Oh, Mary, I am sorry you have to deal with that after finally getting through with the divorce. Fingers crossed that both of us can move on and just think about decorating soon!
Textstyle, we paid the 50% directly; not through the lender. Thank goodness. I would be blowing my top if the lender had our $$ on top of it all.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Rae, this sounds awful! What will happen to your money if the lender doesn't come through in time? No wonder you are frustrated. I have no words of wisdom, but I hope things begin to move soon! (um...pun not intended, but I will let it stand)

Mochi

Veteran

So sorry to hear this, Rae. I have no comparable story that could be helpful. I can only say that in the best cases, this is so stressful. With our last purchase (and our first condo here in Boston), we had a last-minute glitch that hit us at the planned closing, and dragged it out for a few days in which we were "homeless" (luckily we had family here, who let us camp out--but boy were we stressed out, making calls to our attorney, and ka-ching ka-ching, yes it cost us a lot). And it turned out to be that some idiot down the line had left town over the long weekend and hadn't signed one of the papers--like the buyer for the people who were buying our house. Arrgh. Domino effect.

I hope everything is resolved promptly. 50% in cash (in California--particularly no small feat!). You should be treated with much more respect than that.

Aida

Veteran

Gah that sounds miserable. I think you do not need to worry about pissing off the lender and should at least get a little sassing in, Rae. Seriously. The bureaucracy, even at smaller lenders, really does just take a LOT of push and woe unto those who don't have the time to put in. The problem is usually with the higher ups, not the ones you are dealing directly with, so if you don't push THEM they don't push UP. We offered on two short sale homes before the one we finally bought (also a short sale) and each time the process was brutal. And looooong. If my mom wasn't our agent and not otherwise working so that she had time to hound and pester the banks on our behalf, nothing would ever have gone through either for our purchase nor my sister's condo purchase.

If we were in your shoes, with 50% down and the ability to liquidate some assets to cover the rest, honestly I think we would do so as long as they weren't retirement assets; hubby is all about minimizing debt and hates loans.

Alassë

Veteran

Yes, house loans take a lot of follow-up (and frustration). I'm sorry to hear about your awful lender, though - that is really above and beyond, and not in a good way. Also seconding Aida's 2nd paragraph - is it a doable idea?

elpgal

Veteran

Home buying is causing me lots of angst lately. I am with the others who recommend financing it yourself if it is at all doable.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Oh no. You've already gotten great words of advice, so I will just offer you my sympathy and emotional support -- the process can be a total PITA even under the best conditions. We had an awful time with this stuff when we bought a condo for my husband's mom (in Texas, so out-of-state made things even more complicated) -- we ended up paying cash. We're very lucky we were able to do that.

Good luck and keep us posted. I'm crossing fingers for you.

marianna

Veteran

Hi Rae, we're also currently in the process of buying a home. Our lender is very communicative and great, but we're buying a townhouse and need a special approval from the HOA for the type of loan we're getting, and THEY'RE being totally unresponsive. So, I understand what you're going through. It's hard not knowing what's going on and not being in control of the process. We need to give our notice to vacate at our apartment by Monday, and we still don't know if/when our loan will go through. Home buying is a very stressful process…

If you're in a position to pay cash, I'd go that route. I bet it would be very nice not having a mortgage payment.

Debbie

Veteran

I am late on this but the home buying process is ridiculous more often that not. If it is possible to liquidate some assets and still have some savings I would do it. You might be able to get a short term loan while you liquidate. PM me if you want some info on that. It would allow you to move into the house right. How long has the seller given you to secure the loan?

Adelfa

Veteran

Hi Rae, so sorry! I just finally closed on my house in Northern California. I was on the other end from the one you're on, with the lender doing strange things and delaying unaccountably. Reportedly the buyer took to her bed and was a complete wreck. Then when the notary came for the papers--I said let's do it at work because I for some odd reason thought she might be scared of the dog--only she was 3.5 hours late and begged to come to my place--only to be absolutely terrified of my dog--and I was looking at the papers (with Baby held close on a tight lead) and something didn't seem right and then I realized they were misstating the purchase price by $80K in the wrong direction. I blew up my agent's phone and he didn't answer (he never did answer, he was awful), so I called my daughter and she said "Just don't sign." Right. I knew that.

Eventually it was all over. Not a good experience. I gave the buyer three extensions.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Gah, on the one hand, at least it is not just us! On the other hand, wow, I hope it doesn't get worse... O_O
Nancy, if it wasn't for the fact that our landlords plan to remodel the apartment after we move, we'd be out on the streets, too. We gave our notice based on the estimated close date plus a cushion, and still...
Jody, I soooooo hope it doesn't get dragged out that long! I can sure see how the buyer fell ill. Swinging from depression to rage can't be good on the body.
Aida, we hate debt, too! The reason we wanted to take a loan in the first place was because our other investments are with an International company that requires a minimum principal. So if we liquidate that, we will be pretty much back in the same boat as before (too much cash in the US for our liking - we wanted to buy property in order to diversify our assets). Liquidating is not out of the question, though. It is preferable to losing the property!
Marianna, I hope your HOA gets better when/if you move in - and that your loan goes through. You are right; not knowing is the hardest thing. :T
Debbie, I am pretty sure the seller is going to give us an extension if we need it, and from what DH says, we could be liquid quickly. Hopefully we won't need a short term loan (I can only imagine DH's face if I bring up a second loan! lol), but it is great to know there is an option.

kkards

Veteran

one word --REALTOR. get your realtor on it pronto. make it clear that the sale is in jeopardy (ie no pay out for them). this is not your realtors 1st closing and they should and can get the bank on track!

MsMary

Veteran

Any updates, Rae?

I am pleased to report that after I sicced my lawyer on the lender, they backed down an apparently the loan was funded today and will close by Friday. It was kind of awesome: The loan officer emailed that "Our underwriters need a new court order," and my lawyer emailed back "Your underwriters are wrong," and went on to demonstrate WHY they were wrong, and lo and behold they backed down. Gotta love it. LOL

Hang in there!!!!

Anonymous

OMG you poor, poor thing! Time for some primal scream therapy. Between you and Mochi I need to run around the block a few times to get rid of all my adrenaline (except one little problem--it's 108F).
Here's our war story. We bought our first house and immediately our lender sold our mortgage to some crazy fly-by-night company that was expanding so quickly they could not keep up with all of their mortgages. We got letters telling us to make sure our new payments went to their office with the new coupons they would be sending. Checks sent without the coupons would be returned and charged a fee (plus late fees and interest). Well. The coupons took MONTHS to arrive, meanwhile our checks were being returned and our fees were racking up. We called all over the state to try to get help and somehow (I don't remember, I must have blocked it) we got it resolved, after loosing significant sleep.

This really brought home the proverb that "the borrower is slave to the lender" and we didn't even choose this unreasonable master. It was the worst feeling I could imagine because we had NO control over anything. We made the decision immediately following to pay off our mortgage as soon as humanly possible. It took almost five years, but we worked like crazy people and got that sucker paid off. We have never borrowed money since.

If I were you, I'd liquidate your foreign investments in a heartbeat and pay cash for your condo. I'd think that would buy you an incredible amount of peace of mind. You can then start investing again with amount that you would have been paying on your condo mortgage (and you'll avoid all those loan origination fees). Even though you won't be able to get into the same investment because of the minimum, I'd take the hit. JMHO. Love ya!

Aida

Veteran

Hm I'm with Claire. I think I'd still liquidate and then use any extra money (or set aside more than usual for a while) from not having a mortgage payment (WOW that would be nice!!) to reinvest and get back to the minimum. It's great that you have it as an option, truly. I hope something works soon!

rae

(website)

Veteran

Update! must be a lucky day for you and me both, Mary. After a strategically CCed email, we got word that the loan went through! Funding maybe Mon or Tues, and moving next Fri (knock on wood).

Claire, that sounds like an absolute nightmare. Still, the 15 year loan feels like the best option for us. we may pay it off sooner, but we really like being able to keep some money out of the country at this particular point in history. Debt is not our favorite thing either, though, and your story is good warning to jump ship if the loan gets sold.

Mochi

Veteran

You do (for now) get some good tax write-offs with a mortgage. I am glad it seems to have come together for you.

Once you've moved in and the nightmare is past, you'll quickly forget how stressed out you were. Good luck!

LACeleste

Veteran

Hooray!

April

Veteran

Yes, Rae, they certainly don't make things easy.

I had to refinance my house after my divorce, to remove my ex's name from the title, and it took forever even though I was using the same bank that had been holding the mortgage for 15 years.

As another piece of silliness, I had had my mortgage on "auto-pay" for years -- the bank just withdrew the payment from my checking account on the first of every month. When I refinanced, they demanded proof that I'd been paying on time for the past two years.

Me: Um, I've been paying YOU...?

Them: We have no way of accessing that information.

Me: Oh.

I have since paid off the mortgage so I don't have to deal with such dimwittery any more.

Incidentally, it can't be true that those guys are the only lenders willing to deal with co-ops since most of the apartments in New York City are co-ops.

MsMary

Veteran

Coming back to say that my money didn't land in my account yesterday as I'd expected. Turns out that it was because I'd changed my name on my bank account and even though the bank had assured me that the wire transfer would go through in the old name as long as the account number info was right, it didn't. The large amount of money was returned to the escrow company. Gah.

Fortunately I had been super sweet and patient and cooperative to the loan processor during the whole mishegas leading up to closing, so she arranged to have a cashier's check FedEx'd to me for Saturday delivery, and I'll have it tomorrow. But... Gah.

Anonymous

I did not make it through the entire thread but I hope that the issues have been resolved. I am going through the process myself, at this very moment, so I can commiserate.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Mary, did you get your check? We are hoping to be funded tomorrow or Wednesday - I feel like I'm waiting for Santa. Well, if Santa had missed Christmas and kept me waiting an extra week.
Zap, I am happy you are getting your place, but I'm sorry you are in a similar boat. Sending my good wishes - we will all have to share interior decor photos someday!