declining use items - YouLookFab Forum

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declining use items

Adelfa

Veteran

Okay, I don't think I can call them DUIs, maybe Dewies?

I have several pieces in my closet that have lost their full usefulness, but still come in handy once in a while. I have room for them, but they irritate me no end because they're not doing what I want. However I'd lose something if I got rid of them.

Examples:

my beloved St. James mariniere. Even though it's never been in the dryer, it's now too short to wear with jeans. Once in a while it looks cute for work with dress pants and a denim jacket.
my black Lucky cowboy booties. They are very comfy and very cute. However they have prominent silver detailing (not just buckles but a heel cap) and to my eye just don't look right with my go-to topper, a black moto with gold accents.
my black tipped cream silk J Crew blouse. It has developed an odd series of puckers on the front and sleeves, near the armpits. Plus I've decided it's too sheer to wear alone. It still looks great under a jacket. But I only keep a jacket on all day a few times a year.

Do you get what I mean? I am truly conflicted about what to do with my Dewies! These days I only want to keep things that are truly useful, but this formerly-and-still-partially useful thing has me stumped! I think I could solve it with some successful shopping. But that's not going to happen right away. Any ideas?

What are your Dewies? Do you struggle with them?

Dressing

31 replies

Latest reply was from Lisa

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I definitely have DUI's and man, there's times I feel guilty about it - but I think it's a sign that your style has evolved and what you like has been changing.

I used to have a ton of fit and flare short dresses and they've all gradually been making their way out of my life - I don't have use for them anymore in my lifestyle.

rachylou

Veteran

I kinda like *DUIs*, hehe. Says sooooooo much. I think Dewies are like my *Hated but Useful.*

Anyways, I'm reading a book right now that says be ruthless. I'm thinking maybe keep the boots and pass on the others... but maybe I'd hang on to the mariniere awhile longer.

Adelfa

Veteran

Lyn, it sounds like you're being very strong and letting go!

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I do get that knot in my stomach when I go to my closet to find that REALLY AWESOME THING I WORE ALL LAST YEAR ... and put it on and it's like ... oh shucks, this dress is nice but man, it's not as nice as I remember and XYZ is wrong with it and bahhhhh...

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Suz

(website)

Veteran

I hear you. I think your reports about these items suggest that they are actually "wardrobe holes." You need to upgrade these items with more suitable versions. Then you will wear them all the time!

I don't have a consistent approach with items like this. For instance, I'm a jacket lover, but last fall I had to pitch all my jackets (except my leather ones) because they were not fab enough. I then had major difficulty replacing them. So basically, I just went without for most of the year. I did find one fun jacket at Zara. That had to be my "everything" jacket.

On the other hand, with my black booties, I hung onto the less suitable pair (and wore them) until the better pair came along. I just couldn't do without them.

missvee

Veteran

I think you could consign or donate the striped tee and the jcrew blouse. It sounds like they are of very limited use to you. As for the boots, can you paint the buckles and heel caps with a soft gold craft paint? It would be easy enough to remove if you wanted the silver tone look again.
I don't keep many Dewies around because my closet is fairly small, although I've hung onto a neutral skirt because it's handy for a funeral. But I never reach for it otherwise.

Peri

Veteran

I get this way because I feel guilty about not loving things I used to love. I don't want to hurt their feelings! I have several and I'm actually working on my closet today...trying to get rid of these things is the hardest. I've gotten rid of all the really bad things, but this is much more difficult decision making!

Anonymous

Oh, I have a lot of these! Actually, I probably have two kinds.

One is more along the lines of "back-of the-rotation" items, where I'm slow to purge things if they're a type of clothing I wear regularly (like printed knit dresses, or black tops that work well layered). So I'll keep older ones for a while even if they're starting to show their age or if I'm getting a little sick of them, because I always want to count on having something like that clean and ready to wear. But they definitely don't see as much use as the ones I like more.

I also have things that are more like what you're describing. For example, an ancient pair of navy peep-toe wedge pumps. They're from Target and I've probably spent more money on resoling them by now than I did to buy them. I don't need navy shoes in the summer enough to justify buying a replacement pair, but I keep holding onto these because, every once in a while, they're what go best with an outfit.

Either way, no advice. I'm actually a little ashamed that I keep as many "back-of-the-rotation" things as I do, now that I've written about it, but it's sometimes so convenient.

Edit: Lyn, if those adorable dresses are things you've gotten rid of, I've gottta say you're extremely disciplined!

missvee

Veteran

I hear you on the guilt thing, but I look at it this way - if someone else could use these items, then I'd feel guilty holding on to them. ( Can you tell that I'm the child of a pack rat? I've had to develop some serious persuasion skills to get my mother to purge her stuff !)

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Exactly, hopefully someone else will get more joy out of them than I have

E

Veteran

Mine are definitely v neck cardigans! I used to wear my cardigans open in the summer, so the neckline wasn't a huge deal. But last year I started buttoning just the top button on my crew neck cardis, because I loved the shape, and now I'm annoyed by the cardigans I can't button that way. However, they're too useful (either due to their fabric content or colour) to just get rid of, so I keep wearing them even while on the lookout for a replacement. Also, all of my 3/4/bracelet length sleeved lightweight tops are annoying me, because I want them to be full length for the sun protection. I think the solution for that is just to knit a couple of lightweight sleeveless mitts, but it does irritate me that I've been actively looking for at least two years now & *still* can't find summer weight, breathable, long sleeved blouses (vs button down shirts, that I never feel at home in).

Could you try a holding zone for your Dewies? If they bother you so much you're more annoyed by having them in your closet than you are pleased when you get use out of them, probably time to purge.

Gigi

Veteran

Hmmm...I don't have any DUIs because my wardrobe is very new, basically built from scratch a year ago. But in regard to your situation, I think I would ask yourself whether your style is very settled. If you are fairly confident that you know your style and that it's not going to change, it might be a good idea to get rid of the DUIs. However, if your style is in flux, I would hold on to them. You might decide to wear the St James shirt with a skirt, where shorter tops look better, and maybe you will find that you go through a phase where you really enjoy silver hardware. In this type of scenario, it would be great to still have these items on hand.

But it sounds to me like maybe they have to go, because the impression I get from your post is that you are not reliant on these pieces for any reason other than emotional attachment. It sounds like you're having to try awfully hard to get them to work in your outfits. It's not the case where you wish you could ditch the St James top but can't because it's the only top that works with a particular pair of pants; and you're not holding on to the boots because they're the only shoe that completes outfit X. If this is the case (not reliant on the items but simply attached), I would start hunting for replacements and then get rid of the item once a replacement is found.

Lyn D.

Veteran

I don't hold-on to them- I usually forget about the one outfit or occassion they work with until I reach for it and remember that it has been purged!

Caro in Oz

Veteran

I'm working on replacing all these pesky items - I really want versatility now.If it's something I can get by without I let it go. If it isn't, the replacement goes to the top of my needs list.

I have two approaches to finding the replacements if I don't not know exactly what it is I make a note of what it needs to work with & the occasion I need to wear it. If I do know what the replacement needs to be then I try to get specific about it. If it's a white tee I note the length & fit & neckline that I need. I also note why the Dewie didn't work - because sometimes I find myself buying the same sort of things

Adelfa

Veteran

Rachy, "hated but useful" kind of sums it up. No wonder they are irritating me!

Lyn, thanks for the pics! What a great illustration that the good is the enemy of the best!

Suz, you're right--their former usefulness makes them holes when they become less useful! I guess it's a matter of if I can do without? Because I don't anticipate I'll be able to fill the holes quickly.

missvee, I think you may be right that the booties are in a different category than the shirts.

Peri, you're so right that guilt plays a huge part here.

Aubergine, back of rotation items can be quite a drag on the spirit, can't they? So strange!

E, well put! I think they're definitely bothering me more than they delight me when I wear them!

Gigi, that's an interesting thought about changing needs. I do think that when my jacket wardrobe expands I'll have a use for the booties again, because I love both gold and silver. It's just that I only just started to build my jacket capsule.

Lyn D, too true! I've done that so many times! And then when that happens I tell myself, "If I hadn't purged it I wouldn't be remembering that I have it!"

Caro, the items really are pesky, and I really want versatility too! It's just offending my sensibilities to have things that can only be worn a certain way. Because then I'm tempted to wear them in ways I shouldn't (eg the mariniere with jeans and it keeps pulling out all day and exposing the cami I luckily put on underneath).

Ana

(website)

Veteran

Maybe you could take them out of your closet and put them in a different closet and see if you can get along without them for a set period of time. If you can, then cull them from your wardrobe. If you find yourself reaching for them, then add them back to the main rotation. You could also make a really small capsule out of them for your "occasional" wear. I have a "business casual" capsule that is like this. I only ever wear those items once or twice a year, but I need them for those specific occasions and nothing in my regular wardrobe would be appropriate. I keep that capsule in a different closet because it drives me crazy to see a bunch of clothes in my closet that I don't wear often.

Adelfa

Veteran

Ana, great to see you again!

I think the different closet idea is a good one. I only have a tiny coat closet, but it could hold a limited number of items that I'm on the fence about!

Kristin L

Veteran

I've had that problem with a lot of my button down tops. I wore them 1x-2x a week when I was in grad school. Since I left, they've just been hanging out in my closet. I wondering if I shouldn't purge a couple so I'd have more room for either things I want to wear, but it's hard because I keep going back to "But I love them." I like the idea of moving them to a separate area. That would be a great way to tell it's missed or if it should be off to a new home.

unfrumped

Veteran

Sometime I can get up the urge to purge by seals rating fit from color.
If something really fits well and I Jude feel a little less love for the color, I may keep it because sure enough ill find something that needs that tank or top.
Or ill keep a dressy item if i love it even if my social life is in the ditch for a year. But if something gets too short( even for a high - waisted skirt or puckers so I'd be embarrassed to take off my jacket, then I can toss it.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

The Good is the Enemy of the Best.

What a slogan to live by!

Anonymous

I have more Dewies than I'd like. There are black sandals that I've held on to until I find a better replacement. Last summer the right replacement never came along. Same with knee high boots.
Right now I have a large group of tops that I bought when fitted was more the style. Now I wish that they were more fluid...or longer, or shorter. But they are often outfit completers. I fear the domino affect if I get rid of them. Suz needs to be my role model as she got rid of her jackets before replacing them.
For summer I'm going to try the holding zone idea.

Karina

I'm with Suz on the two types of items like this. If an upgrade/replace is in order, I hold onto a "dui" until I can afford/find just the right item. If I feel attached to the item itself, but don't wear it much and wouldn't replace it if damaged then I let it go. (Similar to Lyn, I've recently let go of some perfectly good dresses and tops that just aren't me anymore.) I've been taking this approach recently and it helps me feel better about the "place holders" and I try to notice what specifically would make the piece more versatile so I can make the replacement a true upgrade. I'm enjoying my smaller wardrobe more and I love Ana's idea about a separate space to store some of these items. I might try that myself too!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I am sort of skimming (not lack of interest rather lack of caffeine), but the good is the enemy of the best. Yes. Rachy if you see this what are you reading? Ruthless. Hmm. I will reread this thread later. DUI is a great term even if I keep thinking driving under the influence. Or dewey decimals!

Anonymous

I think I like that slogan but need to take it down a notch for my purposes so I don't have to throw out 90% of my wardrobe. So: The serviceable is the enemy of the good?

LAvintagestyle

(website)

I agree with the suggestion to move these to another closet. That's what I like to do. Your pieces sound useful enough to set aside for the day you need them.

unfrumped

Veteran

Heavens, sorry for what my phone thought I was trying to say in my reply above. Not sure what is its native tongue.

Alassë

Veteran

Some I like and welcome their occasional outings; other DEWIs are closet drags (great word, btw!). I know my favorite DEWIs, but the iffy ones probably need to go - that's the hard part. Thanks for making me re-evaluate!

anne

Veteran

Here is mine. What I'm wearing today. Handy because it is non iron. Comfy enough to lounge and sleep in. Too useful to throw away. But not my favourite look. I don't like the empire waist which makes me feel broad while obscuring my actual waist.

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Alassë

Veteran

Is that a sheer top underneath a strappy dress, Anne? It looks very nice/fancy on my screen!

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