Debating losing my shirt(s) - YouLookFab Forum

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Debating losing my shirt(s)

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

I have kept my button-down shirts in my "current" clothing section during quarantine/covid pandemic because I am nursing, and now that I'm home 100% of the time with my nursling I must have nursing-friendly clothing, which isn't always a slam dunk. But I have not reached for these shirts really at all.

Last week I took some time to play around with one - a blue Everlane shirt. And...I didn't love it. I did wear it (Pic 2) out to pic up a few things, but at the moment this shirt is in my holding area.

I like 3 and 4 the best, but the suede jacket is too warm for summer, and the shirt didn't reach far enough around to really make the "faux wrap" look work. Maybe with a men's shirt that technique could work?

Anyone else feel that shirts generally wear them, rather than the other way around (even when they technically fit, which is also a huge challenge for me!)

Anyone find a way to wear shirts that make them feel casual, comfortable, soft, and feminine?

I'm a Kibbe Soft Classic, and my Color Me season is soft summer deep. my body type is sort of X or 8 or pretty pear, depending on how you interpret that! My style cues are:

feminist - functional, moderately feminine, comfortable

intelligent - interesting color/pattern combinations, interesting details, fashion forward silhouettes

serious - not whimsical or playful, not costumed, often tailored

refined - referencing the traditional, carefully curated

soft - pleated, wrapped, draped, sheer, textured, matte, worn

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Dressing

25 replies

Latest reply was from Jenava

celia

Veteran

I like all.your outfits here nut understand what you mean.
I find it tricky to feel feminine on button down shirts. As I am also a pear, X shape if the waist is not defined somehow I feel very shapeless and 'blocky' for lack of better word.

cjh

(website)

Veteran

When I look at your list of desired qualities, I check them off thusly:

feminist - functional - yes, moderately feminine - no, comfortable- no

intelligent - interesting color/pattern combinations, interesting details, fashion forward silhouettes- none of these

serious - not whimsical or playful, not costumed, often tailored- all of these

refined - referencing the traditional- yes, carefully curated- no - blue oxford shirts are everywhere

soft - pleated, wrapped, draped, sheer, textured, matte, worn- none of the above

So personally I see only functional, traditional and serious as yeses in your list. Your outfits look nice, but the simple combos of white jeans, white tee, neutral leather jacket and camel trousers don’t seem to add the missing qualities. Can you fix this by choosing a shirt with a soft or faded, low contrast pattern, a different collar (or none) or sleeve shape, an interesting texture or weave, tucks or pleats, or some flowy movement somehow? If not, maybe it is time to lose this one, at least!

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

cjh, yes I agree with your assessment and I think this is why I'm not jiving with it. I do consider this color "soft", so in that way it does check the box there (sort of) and certainly if I could wear it wrapped around me instead of buttoned up I'd probably like it better.

My other blue shirt is a gorgeous almost-purple pale blue in a crisp cotton and shell buttons. The quality of that one is far above this one and so it's a tiny bit better (but it spots when it gets any wetness on it and really needs to be cleaned at the cleaners, so not practical quarantine-wear). but even then, I find I struggle to feel like myself in it!

I also have a sheer cream button-down blouse. that gets air time during non-covid times as a foundation garment but I haven't reached for it a single time since staying home.

Celia, I often surrender my waist and don't mind so much. If it were ONLY that I'd probably feel find it it (especially since I could tie it or tuck it). It's something about the shoulders and collar not always sitting flat. I feel like I'm constantly tugging at it? it goes one way, I go another...

SarahD8

Veteran

I especially like #4, the contrast between the crisp shirt and flowy trousers is great and to me this is sort of a before-her-time 40s heroine look (so vintage/retro but also feminist, if that makes any sense).

For me the key to woven/button up shirts is that they be made of somewhat soft, drapey material. That way the collar falls open and creates a soft v-neck rather than being pointy/straight up and down (which I feel overwhelms me). And if the material can sort of collapse against the body at certain points rather than standing away from it that also helps keep me from feeling like I’m getting lost in my clothes.

I’m not sure exactly the same would work for you but I just offer that in case any of it resonates or might serve as a jumping off point.

DonnaF

Veteran

IMHO, a traditional shirt with placket and traditional collar is way too masculine for you. (I skew androgynous/masculine so I really love that blue shirt!!!) The shirt looks nice on you, but I see you in blouses.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Jenava, I like how you've styled all the outfits! I like #3 and #4 best too. Nicely done.

The way you feel about shirts is VERY common with my clientele, so I understand it. No point in keeping an item that doesn't make you happy. You are a pretty blouse gal

I'm a big fluid shirt gal - but you knew that! I wear them like tees. They are a slam-dunk for my body type so it makes sense that I gravitate towards an item that is almost always an excellent and comfortable fit. I tuck and semi-tuck and very much enjoy the look. It's easy "relaxed structure" for my style.

That said, I bat for Team Pretty Blouse with you too!

JAileen

Veteran

I like all versions on you. If you don’t like it, though, then why keep it? I love rhubarb but my mother does not. Even the best pie would not appeal to her. Same with shirts.

kkards

Veteran

IMO, and this is just my opinion, button downs are just to fussy and formal for the pandemic...I’d put them in a holding zone and try them again when/if you go back to an actual office.

Lucy

Veteran

I absolutely love #4. It's got an old fashioned 40s writer vibe going on.

That said, I agree with KKards. I'm not a huge shirt wearer at the best of times - too much ironing - and these are not the best of times. We might feel differently down the track.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Ah, thanks ladies. I'm glad you liked my attempts, for the most part. So did I! But, they just still did not feel quite as effortless as I requirein COVID times. I do have a couple shirts that I will keep for post-COVID (may it come speedily). But I think I need to let go of the idea of wearing a big shirt in a casual way. JUST AINT GONNA WORK for me. That said, I do have a few button-up blouses that will work. In fact, I just ordered another one (to replace this Everlane shirt I will be giving away!) from EcoVibe. It's really not a shirt at all....I have a white viscose "shirt" (blouse?) like this that I adore, so I HOPE this one fits and is as lovely. Honestly, I do NOT need ANY MORE clothing but I couldn't resist the beautiful sustainable brand.

https://ecovibestyle.com/colle.....stripedtop

Veronica Beard Canteen Puff Sleeve Blouse

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Top Pick

11

Equipment 'Kenton' Cotton Shirt

Sale

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4

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I like your self description very much and think it is specific and broad enough to help you edit. Using it, I would say the classic blue shirt as styled in #4 is the most you. Interesting, and intelligent with the mix or warm and cool colors, classic wearing of the button down, flattering to your coloring, obliquely referencing a 40s look as Sarah noted, etc.

rachylou

Veteran

I do like the way you’ve styled it here... but with that said, I think I’m Soft Gamine and one of the first thingsI did here on YLF, with Angie’s input, was find my ‘button up’, which I believe to be one in a softer, drapier fabric than classic shirting... and how’s that for a run-on sentence! Lol. Anyways, I always feel buried in a classic shirt.

slim cat

Veteran

The light blue color is so pretty on you! I like all your styling esp #2 ( I would wear it any day ) and # 3-4 ( just great! ).
I'm close to gamine type so I do shirts pretty often - with rolled sleeves and in a open way ( with fun tops underneath ).

Minaminu

Veteran

I think you styled the shirt really well, I particularly like the outfit nr 3. Looking at your description, I think a soft blouse would be more suitable.

How are you planning to style the new shirt?

bella

(website)

Veteran

I really liked #2 and #5, but I can see how this is still not casual enough. If you still like thesee pieces, put them aside for when COVID and nursing is over.

RobinF

Veteran

I struggle with shirts too, haven't quite figured out why but I think it's the "hardness". That being said, I like this on you, the color is great. My favorite is tied at the waist but that may be because that is the way I most enjoy my few shirts

Liesbeth

Veteran

I like all of these outfits. I agree that shirts can 'wear you' as in being fiddly and such. Thzt's why I prefer softer and drapier shirts. I can see those on you too.

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unfrumped

Veteran

I like the looks of 2 and 4 especially but I hear you on whether the typical collared button-front is really "you". I do see you in softer fabrics and maybe more open necklines. Though as we say, what matters is how you feel about it!
I wear a fair amount of the somewhat tailored shirt style for casual outfits, worn untucked usually, and with sleeves rolled a bit. One reason is--plaid! I love the ability of plaid to have so many nuances of color due to the weave. I do not do as well with very crisp shirting fabrics so, maybe akin to rachylou, I need some drape--I will put up with rayon and rayon blends for that, linen blends with do not have to be ironed to a crisp finish, and of course silk though I should be moving away from more delicate fabrics at this time of my life.

Sometimes what is helpful to me is to have a mass try-on of my shirts and blouses and go, yay or nay and see if a pattern is emerging.

lyn67

Veteran

Wow, never was a fan of classic crisp button shirts, but aggree with SarahD8's comment: "For me the key to woven/button up shirts is that they be made of somewhat soft, drapey material. That way the collar falls open and creates a soft v-neck rather than being pointy/straight up and down (which I feel overwhelms me). And if the material can sort of collapse against the body at certain points rather than standing away from it that also helps keep me from feeling like I’m getting lost in my clothes". And, hese all been said, isn't that item called rather a button down blouse rather than a shirt? :-))

ekanol

Member

Hi Jenava hi love all versions of it.... For me 1 & 2 are the best, the light blue color goes with your skin tone well. I second your thoughts on shirts generally wear us, some makes us anxious some more soothingly comfortable.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Jenava, I think you did a great job styling this shirt, and I can understand your reasoning for letting it go. Personally I like #5 best. I also like the idea of #4, but I agree a man's shirt would be a more dramatic way to do the cross-over.

I am not a button-up shirt wearer. I love the idea of them, but generally I do not feel like myself when I put one on. There are some ways I've found that they can work for me, but all involve sewing. I'll include some photos here of the versions of shirts that I actually enjoy wearing, even during the pandemic. Maybe they will provide some inspiration.

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bella

(website)

Veteran

Oh my, that white shirt is sooo pretty and unique! You are so talented!

cindysmith

Veteran

As a general rule, I just cannot with button-up or button-down shirts. The buttons always look as if they're defying the laws of physics: straining the threads that are holding them on, straining against the gaps in between buttons... it's always a hot mess over my chest. Let's not even talk about the arms, because it is so rare for me to find one that doesn't leave my arms feeling like boa constrictors have wrapped around my biceps and triceps. I have owned exactly three shirts that worked completely for me, and 2 of them are no longer with me because they don't fit my style at all; my aesthetic is far less formal than a button-up shirt. The current shirt in my closet is a faded print that looks like it's sunbleached, so it works with my RATE sensibilities; it gets worn as a topper in what passes for cool weather here in Texas.

Zaeobi

(website)

Veteran

It's interesting that you mention your Kibbe type & body shape, because I'm also an X-pear (still unsure if I'm soft classic or romantic) I think this has a big effect on my ability to wear traditional dress shirts. I have a softer face, & so I'm finding that rounded necklines tend to suit me better than sharp collars.

Therefore, have you considered maybe chopping off the collars to make the shirts into more rounded boatneck or scoop neck style blouses? You'd need to experiment with one that you don't mind hacking apart first though The curved hemline works well though!

In the future though, I've found more draped fabric works better (i.e. for nursing, I think a true wrap top or something with dolman/ batwing sleeves will feel better to you than very stiff & structured styles). Up to you though - I know each soft classic likes to add the 'softness' to their look in slightly different ways, but for me it's through my tops/ scarves/ jewellery because those are often worn near my face. Good luck!

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Firecracker, you and I have very similar styles, so it makes perfect sense that those shirts seem like they would work for my style, too. I think having drape or standing away from the body are must have with shirts.

I do have a few more that are less troublesome to style than old blue here. But even so, I have worn them.