I am very sorry to hear this Louise. But good for you for taking care of yourself and keeping busy with the fitness classes. When my husband and I had to spend about 6 months apart last year, I bought a gym membership and spent a lot of time in the gym. It did a lot of good for my moral and my physique!:)

I am so sorry you are going through a difficult time. It sounds like you are adjusting and focusing on healing. Hugs to you.

Louise, that sounds so difficult! I hope you will hang out here and get your "clothes moho" back, as you put it. Hugs from me too!

Louise, thinking of you and hoping that each week and then each month gets a little easier. Maybe make a list of things you've always wanted to do? And then go do them, one at a time.

The aftermath of a breakup is never easy, even if you know it was the right thing to do. Emotions can't just be turned off and on like a tap.

You've got lots of comfort and suggestions here, but I did remember the treatment we used in my university dorm when we went through break-ups. The Rx was a pint of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia--to be taken as needed--preferably while wearing PJs and in front of the TV. Our mantra in those days was "Boyfriends come and go, but we'll always have Cherry Garcia."

I dunno--it actually seemed to work. I used it a couple of times when my sons were heartbroken, although they insisted that Chocolate Peanut Butter Swirl was a more manly alternative.

I am so, so sorry you are going through this. I know personally all too well how difficult this is, I have been through an extremely painful breakup after 6 year long realtionship. Be nice and gentle to yourself, and find a hobby - fashion or anything else to occupy your mind when it goes where it shouldn't.

I'm also really sorry to hear this, particularly at this time of year. Hugs.

Thanks again ladies. Today has been a bad day, I've been really cranky so it's lovely to come home and read your kind words x

Louise, thinking of you.

Louise, breakups are so so painful.

My only advice is to give yourself plenty of time.

I like the way you are taking care of yourself!

When one doors closes another one opens, take care. xxx

Louise,

I just came across this
http://amidprivilege.com/2013/.....ing-919am/
and thought of you.

Oh my gosh, that blog post is genius! I couldn't agree more. I have spent the past nine months going around pretty much constantly telling myself things like "remember to drive very very carefully because you are very distracted at the moment," and "remember to check your calendar because your brain is not firing on all cylinders at the moment." Great advice to "do no more harm."

AmyK- what an insightful blog post you're so kind to think of me. I look forward to the day it hurts less. It still all feels rather surreal at the moment as though someone will turn round and say 'April Fool'!
I also wonder how you know you're 'better'? I read online somewhere it takes half as long as you where together! I sincerely hope that's not true, think I might have gone mad in 6 1/2 years! I was chewing on this with a collegue today who split from her bf of 9 months 2 weeks ago she's only 24 not sure if that makes a difference? She's already signed up for internet dating and been on 2 dates!

MaryK- my filofax and reminders app on my phone are my best friends at the moment, my once sharp memory is shot to pieces!

Louise, I think it really depends on the person. I was married for 14 years, we were together for almost 17. Mr. K and I split physically in April, but I made the decision in early March and that's the date it "happened" in my mind. And I am only in the past few weeks, nine months later, feeling pretty good more often than I am feeling bad. And even so, I am still having a lot of trouble sleeping -- I turn off the lights and have nothing but divorce thougths going through my mind. Also, it's not a straight line, it's a jagged one. You feel better for a while, and then you feel awful for a while, and then you feel better, and then you feel awful, and over time there is more "better" and less "awful."

That's my experience, anyway. It sucks but it does suck less as time goes on.

MaryK I'm glad to hear there's light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm finding lavender essential oil great for helping me sleep. 1 drop on the top corner of my pillow and I'm out like a light even if my mind was previously working overdrive. It could be a placebo effect but I'll still take it over sleeping pills x

Wow! I'm gong to try that! Thanks!

Amy K., I'm the author of that blog post, and thank you very much for linking here. The year after my divorce I blundered around in a haze. I am so sorry for you all going through breakups, and I hope your friends are taking care of you, because it's important. One of the worst bits, in a divorce at least, is when your community thinks you have "divorce cooties" and stops talking to you.

All my best to everyone in the holidays.