Joy- the hospital doesn't allow visitors, although they told my sistershe would be allowed to see him tomorrow morning (she is his caregiver).
Those are good tips, just in general, though. He is usually stuck in the 90's, and I am the one he is most likely not to recognize (but he sees me much less often). Once, he asked my sister who the funny lady in the living room was (it was me- I was absolutely chuffed that he called me funny, as he always insists that he's the funny one in the family)

That’s a lot for your sister to handle. I wish her strength. It’s always one...
If they say it went well hopefully no ICU delirium. I’d try to avoid any live-in rehab/ long term care facilities right now if at all possible if you’re in a high transmission area.
Best wishes & good luck.

So glad surgery went well and that your sister will be allowed to see him. I'm sorry your are going through this. Having elderly and frail parents is tough.

Glad the surgery went well. Hoping the next parts do too.

My son and I anticipate that one day my dad won’t recognize us. Your attitude when your dad didn’t recognize you but saw in you something he likes about himself is wonderful. It reminds me a little bit of this post about ways of dealing with dementia in loved ones. https://www.instagram.com/p/CR.....hare_sheet.

Chewy - I am glad his surgery went well. I am really sorry to hear that your Dad had this health issue and that you are limited in your ability to visit him and support your sister.

Sorry to hear about his health issues but good news that the surgery went well. It is a difficult thing to go through with aging parents and having hospital visitation issues to deal with even worse.

CS, I'm so sorry that your dad, you and your family have had to go through this ordeal. So glad surgery went well and praying for healing and recovery for your Dad. This is traumatic for you too, so please take time for self care if you can, in whatever way gives you some peace and comfort. Much love xoxox

So sorry you and dad and family going through this. COVID making it much harder to be present and advocate for family members in hospital. Medical teams can be great, but nothing really replaces a vigilant family at the bedside. Hopefully your hospital will allow at least one designated visitor daily for some hours and I recommend you ( and/ or sister) do that as much as possible, given what other things I’m sure you are trying to balance.

Oh, I’m late to this, but I am sending good wishes. It must be so hard to cope with this from a distance. I was always the sole caretaker daughter as my sister lives several states away. It’s a tough role, but it must also be stressful to feel helpless from afar. I hope he does well post-op.

Will this postpone your wedding? You have a lot going on.

Joy- we actually pushed it back already, luckily. The new date is May 1st next year. I hope dad makes it!

Chewy, I hope he makes it too!
I’ve just changed my earlier comment to correct the idea that he’s a couple time zones away.

Oh, Khris. How very stressful and awful for your Dad and the family. My Dad had dementia too. It's all extremely tricky, hard, and I empathize greatly. Good to hear that Dad's op went well. Sending healing thoughts, strength, and lots of positive vibes. Hang in there, all of you.

All the best wishes for your father’s recovery and helpful support for the family. Sorry he has had this additional challenge. My father also had dementia and while it complicates everything, there were times when I was grateful to notice that his memory loss prevented some pain and annoyances becoming cumulative, as he was very ‘in the moment’.

My sister reports that the surgery was not as extensive as it might have been, but he isn't bearing any weight on it yet. He has been extremely confused, and pulled everything out and off last night. The nurse called my mom with him screaming for help in the background. The doctor didn't want to risk sedation, so they have strapped him into his bed, put mittens on his hands and put a security camera watching him. He will be transferred to a nursing facility for recovery, but we're not sure how long that will be.

No words to express how sorry I am.

I just saw this thread and held my breath as I read. CS, I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. COVID + dementia makes everything which is hard enough even more difficult. I hope you and your sister will make sure to take care of yourselves.

Gotta say though, I'm tickled that you will be getting married on my birthday next year!

My prayers for your Dad’s recovery.
It must be terrifying for him, to not understand what is happening.

My prayers are with you. My dad also had dementia and had surgery for a blocked GI tack ( a giant gall stone that no one expected.). He was sent to nursing home that was also a recovery facility. The good thing was that he liked it there and didn’t want to go back home where he lived alone. The family was relieved. He said that if he fell someone would find him right away. He liked that he did not have to cook or figure out how to do everyday stuff like bathing (that has too many scary steps for someone with dementia).

Joy- funny that you mention how difficult bathing can be. My sister stands outside the shower, and reminds him what to do next. She also shaves him, dries him, etc.

DonnaF- it's a great day!

Thanks to everyone for the supportive comments. I'm still trying to process it all...

I’m very late to this post but wanted to add my very best wishes for your dads recovery. It sounds like it has been quite an ordeal - challenging and stressful. I’m happy to read the surgery went well. Sending hugs

He's finally having a lucid moment, after another rough night. He pulled out his IV again. My sister said that when she got there, his hands were mittened again, and they were bloody from him trying to bite them off. He thinks the nurses are trying to kill him. They moved him into a room with another "problem child". He's been approved to go to a skilled nursing facility near their house, but we don't know yet when they will transfer him.

Oh, this sounds so hard. I'm very sorry you -- and your dad -- are going through this

He absolutely needs skilled care—skill beats brute force every time. I certainly hope he can move soon, and that the professionals know how to work with him with compassion and respect.

I'm sorry for jumping in so late to this thread.

I really send you and Dad (and family) prayers and empathy.
Even if our loved ones are lucid, hospitalization, surgery, meds, etc. can be so stressful. Hospital delirium is a real thing, only recently studied.

Hopefully once he's gotten some of the heavier meds out of his system, he won't be so distressed.

My husband went through some very challenging times with his mother the past couple of years. She's in a care facility now (in Covina). Sucks majorly that he can't see her due to Covid restrictions.

I am really late here . very pleased that the surgery went well and I hope that he can get some good skilled help in a nursing facility to get him up and around again . All very very hard for the family - sending a hug your way.

He's being move to Skilled Nursing tomorrow. I'm hoping he can get some sleep tonight!

I just saw this I am so sorry. I hope he has a good night. My thoughts are with you and your family.

He had a good night finally, and his memory has been a lot better but his iron was so low that they had to give him a transfusion, and there's a lot of blood in his stool, so now the transfer is probably on hold until they get that figured out...

The poor thing. I"m glad he had a good night. Hope the docs can get a handle on what is going on.

Sending some hugs via brainwaves to you.