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Creating dangerous outfits

aloha emily

My updated style moniker is “cactus in bloom”, with adjectives colorful, glamorous, thriving, competent and a little bit dangerous. But what makes an outfit “say” dangerous?

Actually, “dangerous” is one of the softer adjectives that resonate with me right now. I’ve looked up words like intimidating, fierce, tough- and then tried to convince myself that the definitions are stronger than I really mean. But if I’m honest, I DO want to project a hint of that kind of power. An iron fist in a velvet glove- with a quiet emphasis on the iron. Sharp spines not quite overshadowed by the flower.

The colorful, competent adjectives are easy for me to express. The dangerous part is not. (I cringed when I told new coworkers that I used to teach in public schools and they assumed I was a kindergarten teacher. Kindergarten teachers are brilliantly talented heroes! But I taught 9th and 10th grade in very difficult schools, and that requires a different kind of toughness. I loved it and was great at it.)

Any suggestions for ramping up the fierce in my style?

Dressing

18 replies

Latest reply was from DonnaF

Joy

Veteran

I taught sixth grade right out of college when I looked very young and tried hard for some fierce looks. Wear your hair short or up if it is long. Ever ever in braids or side pony tails.
I wore witchy looking shoes with pointy toes and a wide high heel. They were more like lace up boots that you see in photos of pioneer women. Actually, stompy engineer boots might be a good idea. Make sure your posture is fabulous and learn the evil eye expression for the classroom. Practice a low authoritative voice. You do not want to sound like a Muppet or Valley Girl.
Do. It wear short skirts or low necklines. You will be bending over young people and desks. Nothing causes snickering faster than a glimpse of cleavage or underwear.

aloha emily

Good advice! Pointy shoes and excellent posture definitely read “don’t mess with me”. I actually stopped teaching when my kids were born- but they and my husband all tremble when I use my strict teacher voice at home!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Hmm, I find that sort of thing comes across in expression and demeanor most of all. But sharp edges and architectural designs also can intimidate.

unfrumped

Veteran

This is a fun thread!
From just a clothing style standpoint, it might depend on whether you are better served by concepts like RATE , or the opposite, extreme polish and sophistication, as in House of Cards and The Devil wears Prada.

rachylou

Veteran

Hmm. I feel this is akin to something I always have to work a little bit at. I’m a light hearted person, maybe a little light in my loafers too, but I also have a hard streak that can come as a nasty surprise. I believe it behooves me to try and announce it or at least hint at it. I try to remember to ask myself how I can make outfits look a ‘little bit angry,’ lol! Haha!

Punk coloured hair has been a major shortcut, but with covid, I’m way overdue. Gonna have to do something soon... but in any case: combat boots, olive greens, long great-coat type coats... actually, I need more ideas...(!)

Star

Veteran

I like to think of my style as Edgy Classic. Have a look at April's blog Stunning Style. She herself is Edgy Classic and gives examples of shapes in jewellery, and smaller details in clothes and shapes that say Tough Girl while still looking classic.

kkards

Veteran

I’m not sure how to think about this...mostly because i keep coming back to what does she mean by dangerous, and to whom? I find myself wondering if you are feeling taken advantage of by colleagues and you wish to appear more don’t mess with me/I’m not a push over at work, which to me is not the same as dangerous. But then i went back to look at your last post and you were interested in bombshell, so I’m wondering if dangerous is something completely different...

nemosmom

Veteran

Hmm, I'm stumped, too. I wonder if powerful is a better descriptor for what you are going for? Or mysterious? I think dangerous would not necessarily equate to strong, but feels more unpredictable and a bit unstable to me. Like, should I know you mean business by your great tailoring, sharp shoulders, and a stern side-eye like Anna Wintour or Victoria Beckham?... or, do I need to worry that you've got a shank hidden in your boot?

unfrumped

Veteran

That’s why so fun. Chewing on the message and various style descriptors to see what is really intended. And the English language allows so many synonyms that are actually different, but also even same word may evoke different reactions, especially in fashion.

I have enjoyed some Stunning Style outfit posts, but I have disagreed with some of her interpretations of her own outfits.

Echo

Veteran

I, too, teach Middle School (and some elementary). Honestly, I think it is more demeanor than anything else. While I wholeheartedly agree about not wearing anything that is too short or shows cleavage, I find my voice commands the same respect regardless of what I'm wearing. I have a projecting voice that's effective for classrooms, but I get quieter and quieter if I get angry. If I approach a student and speak at a level barely loud enough for them to hear, all students know there is trouble. There's far more fear regarding what they cannot hear than when someone yells.

But I'm very much not cut out for elementary, as I am not immediately the soft and soothing teacher they're used to. I am, however, a fabulous resource and a powerful ally, and my MS students learn pretty quickly that I can be the "fun" teacher if we focus on learning.

I do tend to dress in dark colors and wear boots a lot. A confident walk is important, too, as one cannot hobble toward a student on unstable heels and get the same effect. I tend toward polished AND RATE, which seems an oxymoron, but works for me. I have flats with spikes on them, which the kids find fascinating (some coworkers, too!).

And I, too, want to dissect words here. Is "dangerous" really what you're after? I get the feeling you are looking more for powerful or commanding, and you're unhappy that you don't seem to portray that at first glance. This may not be a satisfying answer, but it is almost more powerful to have people surprised by you. There's nothing wrong with only having the iron fist come out when necessary. I am just used to people underestimating me because I tend to be nice, and I am relatively short in stature and not terribly imposing physically. But my students and people who know me have no notions about me being delicate or soft.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Reading the thread again... maybe fierce IS a better word? I know you said that might be too much, but I wonder if better than dangerous, because like Nemosmom I also wonder if you have a knife in your combat boot that you might pull on me?!
Whereas if you look fierce rather than dangerous, I would take note but not actually be scared, if that makes sense.
When I used to attend high-level health organisation meetings and need to speak up to defend my field, stompier boots always made me feel more powerful for some reason and that seemed to help!
Like Echo I am short and a bit dumpy so not very intimidating-looking.

aloha emily

Star, thank you for referring me to stunning style- her post about edgy classic is really helpful for me!

Shevia, I like your point about sharp angles. April’s blog says she likes “stabby” accessories, which is exactly what I want to wear these days.

Unfrumped, I love the RATE look, but feel plain and sloppy when I wear it. Polished and dangerous is a really tricky combination for me- it’s a good goal, and one I don’t feel I’m accomplishing. Also love your point about different definitions- some words sound good to me and then when I read the actual definition, it’s not what I want to reflect at all.

Rachylou it’s so nice to hear someone else wants to look a little angry! I think I also come across as very sweet and nice- which I am! But I crave a shot of attitude as well. Another complication- I live in an extremely hot climate, Much too hot for classic badass items like heavy boots and leather jackets.

Kkards, nemosmom and jenni NZ, I’m not really sure what kind of dangerous I mean. I think the pandemic moved me past my brief desire for bombshell- and also the reality that I don’t like high heels OR low necklines OR anything that emphasizes my not very dramatic waist OR ogling audiences. Not a great fit for bombshell

I looked up fierce, and the dictionary definition is actually pretty violent! I don’t want to look violent. But whether the feeling comes from the pandemic, politics, personal issues, or just a counterbalance to the niceness i seem to project, I really do want to look harder than I currently do. Thanks for pushing me to continue to think about what dangerous means to me.

Echo, your comments are so helpful!! I feel seen!! And so much good stuff for me to think about! I’m not the sugar sweet teacher either, but like you I am fabulous for engaging and challenging learning. I like the word commanding a lot, and I like your point about not revealing all at once. Can you share some examples of polished RATE?

cindysmith

Veteran

My fierce and dangerous often shows up in shoes. Towering platform wedges, stiletto heels, point toe pumps/boots, and boots. Apparently, I even stand and walk differently in boots, as some of my friends can tell I'm wearing boots by the way I get out of the car. Great shoes make me feel strong and powerful, and boots often make me feel a bit aggressive. Jackets, most especially leather ones, often add to the rough edge in an outfit.

Anonymous

Fierce to me can go a couple ways. Either strongly Dramatic- sharp, linear, strong shoulders, pointy shoes https://www.truth-is-beauty.co.....-type.html

Or with rock and roll or military influence: leather, stompy boots, camo, etc. You said your climate is hot though, so maybe something like a sleeveless top with grommets, or Rockstud sandals.
Honestly though, a strong voice, intentional movements, and posture goes a long way!

unfrumped

Veteran

Well, in reflections from a “ mature” professional woman, “ confident”
and “ assertive “ come to mind. Or literally, “ indomitable “. With maybe a touch of unpredictability, from a style or clothing standpoint. But maybe need something a little easier to say, for a style moniker!

Gigi

Veteran

I have a face that is usually described as "cute," and so I know how it feels to be underestimated due to appearance! For me, I am able to add some edge to my outfits by looking for leather (or faux leather) items, especially in the form of moto jackets. Some moto jackets are very lightweight and can be worn as a topper instead of a cardigan. You can also find leather accessories, like leather bracelets, if the weather is too warm for a moto.

I also think that studs on clothing and shoes do a great job at adding edge.

Try some raw hems on your jeans. Maybe a bit of distressing. Of course, that might not be allowed in your workplace!

As others have pointed out, severe angles and drastic points also can help. One of my favorite pairs of shoes has extreme pointy toes (the Pour la Victoire find below).

Black always carries with it a seriousness. Many people wear black when they want to feel powerful.

You may also want to consider a change in hairstyle. Your hairstyle would be a great place to inject a little fierceness. Maybe a more angled, clean cut, or an asymmetric cut. If you want suggestions for amping up the edge in your hairstyle, I'm sure if you created a thread for that, people could give advice.

Frye Gabby Ghillie Stud

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Topshop 'Humour' Studded Pointy Toe Bootie (Women)

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Pour La Victoire 'Vittoria' Lace-Up Pointy Toe Bootie (Women)

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Ron White Astra Sandal

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aloha emily

Cindysmith, I agree completely- powerful shoes make me feel tough and confident. I’m enjoying the hunt for comfortable shoes with sharp details, which are difficult for me to find. Some of the best dangerous details like spiky heels and leather just don’t work for my lifestyle and climate.

Suntiger, I especially like your advice for a strong voice, intentional movements, and posture. “Intentional” especially resonates with me- I will be thinking about ways to be more intentional in my actions.

Unfrumped, I like the word assertive, which made me think of formidable, which I also like. Thanks for pointing me in a good direction.

Gigi, thanks for some really practical suggestions! I found a linen moto jacket and am adding the pic to my next post. The light weight fabric is key. And I love the flat sandal with grommets- Dangerous and practical!

DonnaF

Veteran

Avoid ditzy florals and most florals in general. No cute. Before you dress, ask yourself whether a kindergarten teacher would wear it. <gr>