Could we make a cocktail outfit out of this top, right quick? - YouLookFab Forum

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Could we make a cocktail outfit out of this top, right quick?

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

FML. I just opened the invitation to DH's retirement dinner to find out it is going to be "cocktail attire" at a country club. Why, because in 25 years, he has not learned to pay attention or tell me these things in advance and because they still haven't figured out that he'd much prefer jeans and BBQ.

Less than three weeks away and there's no way to get to the city to shop. Praise be that I opened the envelope this weekend. I resent having to spend money on this, but if I am, it's not going to be on a stinking sheath dress like all the other WAGs that I will never wear again, since this is the last blessed time I will ever be a misfit WAG. (I will work on my attitude, promise. This is not about me, it's got to be all about him.)

There are two parties, the daytime thing we covered here a few weeks ago and I think I'm ok, and now this. I really was expecting a small restaurant dinner that a classy casual style that I have well covered would have been easy to pull off. Shamefully, I have gained enough weight these last few months that none of my fall-back "cocktail" outfits will work. (Note to self, fill up donation back with all my old WAG-wear)

If I'm going to get something, I want it to be something I love and want to wear again. I was saving this silk top for July's Ocean Park post, surprise! What about this top with some cigarette pants? Palazzo pants? No pencil skirts, that is something I don't much like and will never need in our new life. Shoes WILL be flats out of my closet, probably these nude sandals. There are some olive d'orsays and some black flats or pumps too.

Nic + Zoe Blue Blocks Silk Blend Top

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Corso Como 'Summa' Flat Sandal (Women)

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29 replies

Latest reply was from Rambling Ann

Joy

Veteran

I love the idea of that top with cigarette pants. The palazzo pants could also be great if they drape well. Photos?

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Agree with Joy. Photos will tell the tale. Do you have some bling? That will make it more "cocktail" ready.

The top is really pretty and will look lovely and cool.

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

Ordering the top.

What about these pants? They are expensive (for this project), but I would wear them again and they don't have to be dry cleaned (no dry cleaner for 50 miles.) Cigarette pants are elusive so far except black.

Bling, I'm covered.

ATM Anthony Thomas Melillo Wide Leg Yoga Pant

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always trying

Veteran

Pretty top, but IMO Too sporty for a cocktail event. If I were going to buy just one thing to dress up almost any kind of bottom I would suggest a lace top. bough a 3/4 sleeve white lace top at the end of season last summer. Wore it with black pants in hot August. Then again in the winter under a velvet jacket, and this spring under a tuxedo blazer. I am finding this top very versatile.

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Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

What is a WAG? And you sound frustrated.

Rambling Ann, I'm a little confused. Are you asking whether the top, pants, and sandals in the Finds that you posted would pass for cocktail wear? They don't. They are very casual. Perhaps you meant that for the day outfit?

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

Linen out of the question? I really like these
https://www.softsurroundings.c.....uze_Pants/ in taupe

I might get them as a reward for being a good camper.

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

Angie, WAG = Wives and Girlfriends, traveling with the pro rugby, cricket and football teams. I am not a WAG in that sense; many of DH's colleague's wives are. I am 25 years frustrated and at the boiling point. The whole idea of a cocktail dress dinner is the final straw.

Cocktail in the intermountain west, at least interpreted by this medical/academic crowd, is men in sport coat and tie, WAGs in sheath dresses, academic women in frumpy. I don't fit in either category, never have. Frustrated is hardly the word.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Hmm, to me "Country Club" cocktail party could be a wide range of formality - from dressy casual to full out black tie. Which one is this is the main question to me. Is it a "suit jacket required" Country Club?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Don't worry! We'll help you get through the event with the right outfit.

You need a dressier look. Pants and top are a smashing idea - but not the casual items you have here. No linen for the cocktail event. If you are going to keep the silhouettes loose and airy - go darker.

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

texstyle, it won't be "suit jacket required" for sure, the other half of his true academic colleagues "might" have a sport jacket somewhere in they closet. That's in a nutshell the problem: there are two sets of colleagues who have never blended, the true scientists who can't find a comb and the clinicians. DH's boss will be in a full suit; his oldest colleague and friend, we will be lucky if he's in a clean polo shirt. I never seem able to find the sweet spot.

tulle

Veteran

I actually think that the full drape of those beige pants could look dressy, but maybe not with the patterned top. In my experience of "dressing up" a more casual look for a formal occasion, it works best to go close-to-monochrome, head to toe, with no pattern except the sparkle of some flattering jewelry. An interestingly draped blush or cream silk top or tunic could be comfortable enough to wear again in different ways. I get your frustration, and we move in similar circles, I think--mainly scientists and physicians. In general, the men get a pass on what they wear--they get points for just turning up--while the women are expected to dress for the occasion. There has been discussion about this on the forum before, I know. I always tell my husband not to worry, I'll dress for both of us. But I don't go overly formal, either. This past weekend we attended a champagne-tasting dinner. Some of the men wore jackets and bow ties (and looked fabulous) but most wore (ironed) shirts and pants. The women looked great, mostly in dresses of various lengths and materials. The weather was hot and muggy, so I chose a loose sleeveless dress made of pale hyacinth blue shirting cotton, cut in at the shoulders, with 3 yards of aurora borealis crystals looped at the neck, and opalescent blue pumps. I felt cool and comfortable in cotton, with the crystal necklace providing the "party" element. Setting aside what the other ladies will be wearing, can you find your own, western version of this compromise--something that feels like you and makes you happy? You may believe that you will never need a dressy item again after this retirement shindig, but I suspect you will still find occasions requiring something a bit more formal than everyday, so why not celebrate your husband's retirement by looking and feeling your best?.

rachylou

Veteran

Well, I don't know. It *is* a silk top... add some bling and a shiny skirt... it could be enough. Esp if everyone else is going to be wearing solid colour sheath dresses.

Or do you think by cocktail attire they mean 'fancy as you people get'? Lol.

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

tulle - I'm leaning toward monochrome.
rachylou - "fancy as you people get" is exactly it.

The country club dress code is no jeans. I need to go do something useful like water tomato plants and quit worrying about this for a minute.

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

The pants are ok, but I'm not seeing any tops at all that inspire. The jumpsuit is risky in terms of fit, but I like it, could see wearing it somewhere, someday. Maybe. It comes in black and ivory. Kind of liking the ivory better.

MSK Mesh Wide-Leg Dress Pants

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Lauren Ralph Lauren Crepe Wide-Leg Jumpsuit

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rachylou

Veteran

I think the jumpsuit is fabulous!

Emily K

(website)

Veteran

While neither top nor sandals are formal enough for traditional cocktail attire, I totally understand "as fancy as you people get". LOL. I think the top could work in this context with dark cigarette pants and dark shoes as long as your jewelry is bold and polished. I struggle with the idea of linen in this situation.

Barbara Diane

Veteran

I am OBSESSED with the top. LOVE it. One of my favorite finds of all time. Not an expert at all, but it does sound like a non traditional definition of cocktail attire, so I would love to see the top work with dressy pants with sheen. I also like the jumpsuit.

What is your husband wearing? Sometimes that helps us gague the level of formality.

JAileen

Veteran

Rambling, I live in the intermountain west too, and went to a cocktail party and none of the women wore a "cocktail dress." In fact, all wore dressy jean outfits. So I think what you're envisioning is fine, especially blinging it up. And if it turns out you're at the less dressy end of the spectrum, well, someone has to be, right?

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

Barbara, I love that top too. I just might get it as my "retirement" present. In my real life, I could wear it a lot of places.

What will he wear? That is a good question. Cowboy boots, a sport coat. In between? Dress slacks (thank you heavens not Dockers) and either a black tee like Steve Jobs or a dress shirt and tie. Doubt he'll decide until it's time to go. He's unpredictable and he doesn't much pay attention to these details. He once told me black tie for a party for this group and it was not...I was not happy.

LaPed

Veteran

Ann, your DH sounds an awful lot like mine. In the time we've been together, he's worked for two different companies (both tech industry), three different offices, in three different parts of North America (one of which was intermountain west, so I totally get the idea of casual-beyond-recognition cocktail attire!). I'm constantly trying to grapple with new dress codes, norms, expectations. Every office party is a guessing game, and DH never has a clue. It drives me crazy. I'm more or less identified as a "creative" now so, for better or worse, I feel like I can get away with a little more quirkiness than some. I'm next to useless when it comes to formal wear, but I love the idea of a jumpsuit. You'll blow all those sheath dresses outta the water.

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

Should have ordered the ivory one this morning, it's gone. The black one is coming in two sizes.

So is the blouse. I was planning to copy Angie's dress over jeans idea for the daytime affair, but if I like the new blouse better, I might do that instead. I'm going to be doing a lot of returning when I finally drive up to the city for this weekend of festivities.

And I already decided if the black jumpsuit works, I'm wearing a silver and malachite choker I bought myself for the very first event with this crowd back in 1993. It's dramatic and reminds me of a circle of shark teeth.

Lauren Ralph Lauren Crepe Wide-Leg Jumpsuit

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Jag Jeans Creston Ankle Crop Stretch Twill Pants

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Checked Shirt Tunic Details

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minimalist

Veteran

Black jumpsuit with that silver & malachite necklace sounds vavoom! What footwear will keep you happy?

Emily K

(website)

Veteran

Oh...I hope so much that the jumpsuit and choker outfit works out for you--it sounds fantastic!

Sal

Veteran

I probably can't offer too much information in terms of what is appropriate in that setting. But given your emotions I would prioritise choosing something that you feel good in and that your husband likes over what a very soon to be ex-colleague group will think. You want to go along feeling proud of hubby, proud of yourself and have as good a time as you can.

DonnaF

Veteran

I quite sympathize and am grateful that I've never been in your situation, but that's probably because DH was a blue collar worker AND didn't have a retirement party (that I know of). The good news is that it sounds as though you won't encounter these WAGs again so it is not as big of a deal if you are an outlier.

I hope the jumpsuit or drapey black pants work out. Next, you'll have to book a cruise since where else will you wear such stuff?

If footwear will be a problem, maybe you will injure your foot or ankle. No one will question your choice of footwear if you are also sporting one of those horrendous boots and are hobbling around.

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

minimalist - shoes I already own. Hopefully the jumpsuit is long on me and it doesn't much matter. I'll be sitting at a table anyway. The number of painful black shoes for his events that I have purchased and donated over the years makes me sick, my feet are really fussy. I have some black flats that won't be perfect but will do. I also have some 1" black pumps with silver heels that are less comfortable. And some purple Ed Hardy sneaks if I get really saucy. (said that just to make Angie cry, I'm a hopeless case)

Sal - exactly. It's not like the WAGs ever gave a care about what I thought over the years. And I am very proud to be standing beside him. Mostly I just want him home. I'm past done with the last five years of him commuting to the city 3-5 days a week.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I hope that jumpsuit works! It will be amazing. I'm with Sal in thinking that the best thing you can wear is what makes you feel fantastic and him feel happy. Go, enjoy to the extent you can, and know that he will be so pleased to have you with him.

Greyscale

Veteran

Oof, well, I'm glad you've got a sympathetic group of all of us to vent to! I hope you find something you feel fab in, and it sounds like a good thing he's retiring! (And I'm laughing at your apt description of the divide between the dressed-up WAGs and the frumpy female academics -- been there, done that! On both sides of the divide.)

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

Donna - Foot injury? There's a good idea. And LOL our cruises have been more like back-country try-not-to-die rafting adventures in Alaska and Canada, but there's always Paris...

Greyscale - you have a life beyond manicures, ergo cannot be a WAG. <rant>Does anyone ever talk about men like that? BAHs? No they do not. </rant>

I am focusing on the actual friends that will be there, and am going to juggle the place cards at the table if I have to.